one:
Seeing him again wasn't supposed to hurt this much. It wasn't supposed to mean his heart hitching during the middle of class, like he couldn't breathe without thoughts of the other boy racing through his mind. When he pictured meeting again his mind, he pictured being hit over and over again, in a combination of revenge and nostalgia. But when he saw that guy again, all he wanted to do was forget how to feel.
two:
After a while he gets it - he has to leave. There's no way he can stay in this house - no, this city - anymore. Not with all the memories of ramen and comic books and fighting and making up floating around, just out of reach. Not with the stained bedsheets after that one fight where Namsoon almost died, he got beat up so badly. Not with anything reminding him of Heungsoo. He packed his bags slow, running over stories in his head with a melancholic smile, and wondering what was next. That, however, was one thing he could take time to figure out.
three:
It's their first night together in what seems like a billion years. They spend it next to each other, hands lightly grasped but not too close. Namsoon's too afraid to touch Heungsoo, even though he wants to, even though he's waited for the exact moment to. He stays gingerly away, wondering if the nights will ever go back to the way they were before again. (Part of him screams silently that they won't, that it never will. Namsoon does his best not to listen.)
four:
"I said stay away," Namsoon says, voice ringing with the same ferocity he's trying to forget. And then - like something clicked in his mind and changed the way his nerves worked - he hits Jungho with a rage that can only be described as terrifying. It's a mixture of habit and guilt, and each punch hurts Namsoon more than it does Jungho. This is what made him lose the oneconstant he had in the world - his best friend, the person he loved more than anything or anyone - but like clockwork, he fell back on it.
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