Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, many say. My mom was just 40 years old before she moved to heaven but she never let her life be measured by her age or what she achieved and didn’t. She saw the beauty in the small things that took her breath away and I want to live like that. The star shines for everyone in the world, but in reality, it itself is surrounded by darkness. My heart turned black when I lost everyone I loved, it’s like a light when off. But I try to color my life again with striking colors, just like the rainbow.

                It all started one morning as I was in hurry to go to my office. I know I would be a dead meat if my boss found out that I’m late for work. As I entered the elevator, I knew I was not the only one who’s late because someone was in the elevator, too! When I looked up to see his face, there he was.

                At the moment, I felt everything has stopped for me. All I saw was him. It felt like someone had reached down my throat and with strong fingers, drew my breath and stomach from my trembling body. His dark brown eyes drilled deep into my heart and every nuance of his face became eternally etched on his face. The words were spoken by a voice that could talk a man down from a ledge. I could tell by the tone and inflection that he felt deep remorse in his soul for displacing my body – or maybe not, I’m not really sure. From that moment on, during every free second, I suddenly became busy thinking about him. Wondering about this boy made sleepless nights overflow with sweet images. Dull morning periods were filled with idol daydreams. I became obsessed with Mr. Perfect.

                Slowly but surely, a plan unfolded and an elaborate plan of action for an encounter with him started to form in my mind. But before it had a chance to fully develop, I had a surprise Mr. Perfect joined my lunchtime every single day. My heart skips a beat every time I see his face, he’s every dream I ever dreamt. I was over the moon, head over heels, I think I know what people meant.

                “Talk to him! Oh, how can I look at his cherubic face when I know he’ll be looking back at mine? I don’t believe it. He’s got to be kidding. I don’t believe he’s wearing that checkered blouse. He looks so good in it. How can I talk to someone who looks that good in a shirt? That cotton clings to just the right places and his jeans are sculptured to enhance and accentuate that squeezably soft...”

                I was often so distracted by the mental roller coaster I was on, I couldn’t speak proper sentences when he was around me. I kicked myself as it was my opportunity to get to know him and allow him to see the real me but he was clinical in his dealings with me and I missed opportunity of getting to know him. He saw I was in panic and sweating like a pig and so he started the conversation. We get closer since then and I often spend my lunchtime with him.

                Guess I was the luckiest and happiest person in this world by the moment he asked me to be his girlfriend. We shared our pain and happiness together, I was glad. At the thought of living alone, he came into the picture and paints it with lubricous colorful things and wanted me to count myself in whenever I have a thought of beautiful things. Not until one day I saw him vomiting and looked so pale and rarely come to work. All the happiness has torn into pieces. I tried to reach him but I failed. So I decided to go to his house and meet him up as I was worried about his health. “He’s going to be okay,” I told my heart calmly.

                My jaw almost dropped when I heard he was suffering from leukemia. We were so happy back then, how did he get this kind of cancer? He cannot leave me, at least not yet. Our marriage is just a few months to go, he has to stay alive by my side. I took a few days off from work as I want to take care of him in the hospital. Later that night, he woke up and whispered to me that he was sorry and he loves me for the rest of his life. He knew his life was going to end there, I knew it too. So I kissed his forehead and told him that I love him too, a lot. I did not know that that was his last word before he moved to a better place called heaven. With tears running down on my cheeks, I knew he had gone forever.