The milk glass sat on the dining table, moisture collecting and sliding down its side. Kibum had been staring at the glass for hours, unmoving as he sat across the table.

It was a habit meant to be broken, but Kibum couldn't stop. Even though no one would drink the milk anymore, he keeps putting the glass on the table every morning, leaving it there when he went to work, then washing the glass when he got home. The first few days, he felt his heart aching whenever he reached home and found the milk untouched. But as the weeks went by he started to realize that no one will come and drink the milk anymore.

Minho wouldn't come home anymore.

They couldn't find him anymore, and it had been too long since he disappeared. Kibum found the notice this morning under his door that they had stopped the search for him. It was final, and Kibum needed to absorb that fact.

But he still couldn't. Not yet, he thought as he sat with his knees to his chest, his swollen eyes tracing the droplets of water dripping from the side of the glass.

He gave a start when a pure white cat suddenly jumped on the table. It probably came from the open balcony behind him. He watched as the cat approached the milk and started lapping it up.

"What are you doing?" Kibum whispered to the cat, but it probably didn't understand.



--



“You can call me Onew, Minho.”

Minho’s eyes are bleary and signs of dizziness and confusion are apparent on his face. Jinki helps him sit up and look around their sanctuary. They are currently situated in a place unseen by humans, located way above the tallest skyscrapers on Earth. Mist-like clouds envelope the whole place, and white-capped mountains could be seen in the distance. One side of the sanctuary has a series of long, winding steps while the other side has a cliff that ends abruptly into a seemingly bottomless abyss.

Minho looks around, eyes wide at the unfamiliar place. Then, he turns to Jinki who waits by his side, and asks where he is. He looks around and then at himself, realization slowly dawning upon him. As if almost afraid, he asks if he is dead.

Patiently, Jinki tells him of his death—of how his body is still not found days after the shipwreck, how he is declared dead after a week-long search, and how he is now passed and waiting for judgment. Jinki has repeated the same story four times already, but sometimes the soul cannot overcome the shock of dying that they black out and come back without memories of their deaths or their first meeting with their guardians. Jinki knows that he may have to explain a few more times before the truth sinks in Minho’s mind, so he is surprised when instead of panicking and blacking out, Minho just sits and pulls his knees to his chest.

The soul becomes quiet after Jinki’s story, his eyes unblinking as he stares into the clouds. Jinki sits beside him and holds his hands as a form of comfort. When Minho was living, Jinki would hold his hands, too, but Minho couldn’t feel. Right now, though, Jinki is sure that Minho feels him with the way Minho’s hands squeeze back. Somehow, the little act makes Jinki’s emotions soar.

“You seem familiar.”

Jinki flinches at the question, but he regains his smile. “When you were alive, there were times when I needed to interact with you so I appeared to you in my human form. Our conversations were brief, but maybe because of our connection you stored me in your memories.”

Minho nods, although Jinki couldn’t tell if he really understands. "You certainly weren't wearing those...robes, then. Since I will remember if you are."

Jinki laughs and looks down at his garments. Guardians do not really have a particular set of clothing, but in the sanctuary, they all wear the same white robes that distinguished them from lost souls.

There is another poignant silence as Jinki waits for Minho to process all the truth he has heard. It is torture, watching Minho with brows furrowed, non-existent tears threatening to overflow from his eyes. Jinki has heard of more extreme reactions to death from his companions, but his connection to Minho makes him also feel the painful void in the man's heart.

Then Minho asks about Kibum. Unwillingly, Jinki tells him of what happened to his lover when he died. He talks slowly, relaying the events Kibum experienced after receiving news of Minho's disappearance. He calmly tells Minho of how Kibum wandered aimlessly for hours, how he locked himself in his room for a week, how Kibum's tears soaked his pillow, how Kibum lives imprisoned in their routine even now.

Minho surprisingly takes the story with unnerving calmness, though his fists are clenched all throughout Jinki’s speech. Sighing, Jinki takes Minho's hands again and cradled them in his. All of the man is tense, the stress apparent despite death. Jinki doesn't know how to comfort him—all these years of being Minho's silent follower and he still doesn't understand the man—so he decides to hum. He chooses a soothing lullaby to hum, patting Minho's clenched hands in time with the beat.

"Are you...are you an angel?"

Jinki looks up in surprise at the sudden question. He expects Minho to ask more about Kibum but it seems that Minho has regained his previous calmness. The soul’s eyes are clearer and his hands have unclenched. Relieved, Jinki pulls away and smiles. “Maybe I am.”

“Do you accept all the dead people and help them move on or something?”

“No, it’s not like that,” Jinki says. “You are my ward and I am tied to you from a certain age. I only look after you and I’ll help you pass when the time comes.”

“Am I the only person you guard or are there more?” Minho seems really curious, and Jinki is too glad to answer his questions. “I mean, when souls move on, you find another person to guide, right?”

Jinki nods. “Yes, that is right. Sometimes the very souls we guide also become guardians like us.” He leans against one of the pillars holding Minho’s bed together. “You have a choice as well. You can be a guardian like me or you can ascend. Either way, I will follow you, Minho.”

“What if I become a guardian?”

“Then I will be with you here to guide you on how to be one.”

“What if I pass and ascend?”

“Then I will take the stairs with you to our ascension.”

“But…but you said you let other souls ascend then you get assigned a new person who is alive. So why would you ascend with me?”

Jinki only smiles and pushes himself off the pillar. He holds out a hand and an invitation. “Do you want me to show you around?”

“Can you show me your wings?” Minho says almost at the same time.

“We normally don’t show humans our…” Jinki watches Minho’s face change from innocent curiosity to disappointment, and he can only sigh as he nods. “Alright, I’ll show you.” He walks a distance from the bed. “Close your eyes first.”

Minho unquestioningly obeys.

Jinki takes a deep breath and wills himself to concentrate. Their wings usually appear only when there is a dire need for them. They rarely need to will their wings to release, but Jinki wants to gain Minho’s trust. He closes his eyes and whispers his real name, not the guardian alias he has given Minho a while ago. Slowly, he feels tendrils of heat creeping up his back, tearing at his shoulder blades before giving a feeling of unfurling over his spine. “You can open your eyes now,” he breathlessly says as he opens his eyes and turn to Minho.

Minho's face lit up in amazement is probably one of the best things Jinki has ever seen, and he is glad to have obliged. He quivers as Minho touches one of his wings, running curious fingers all over the edge. "Whoa," Minho mutters under his breath and Jinki has to smile. He couldn't see his own wings, not even in his reflection, but he thinks they must be okay if it warranted such reaction from his assignment.

“Are you satisfied now?” Jinki asks as he turns away a bit to fold his wings once more until only misty traces of them reflect the setting sun.

Minho nods, still in a bit of awe. "Does everyone have guardian angels?" he finally asks as they both sat under the violet sky.

"Everyone is tied to one since birth."

"Does...does Kibum have a guardian angel?"

Jinki looks at Minho's face. It is devoid of any emotion on the surface, but Jinki could feel Minho shaking inside. "Yes, yes he does."

"I hope whoever his guardian angel is, he is as nice as you."

Jinki smiles. "He is. He is one of the best."



--



“This is the fourth time, Jinki.”

Jinki sits by a fountain, watching Minho who is kicking around a ball Jinki summoned for him. He doesn't even look at the one talking to him, his eyes transfixed on the soul he guides. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jonghyun.”

Jinki’s companion is carding his fingers through his platinum blond hair, seemingly in frustration. “Jinki, you know what I mean. You have to tell Minho his choices. All of them.” He paces around Jinki, hands still on his head. “If you don’t tell him, I will tell him myself.”

“I won’t let you do that again,” Jinki snaps, uncharacteristic of his usual jolly nature, as he whips his head around and glares at Jonghyun. “I already told him that he can ascend or be a guardian like us. And I think he wants to become a guardian because he’s so interested in what we do! Do you think I should show him our manor?”

Jinki jumps when Jonghyun slams a fist into the fountain, splashing water around them. “Jinki,” Jonghyun mutters, his jaw clenched. “You have to tell him everything.” The other guardian straightens then looks at Jinki in the eye. “That includes explaining to him that he can also fall.”

“I…I can’t.” Jinki clenches his fist and takes a deep breath. His non-existent heart thumps in his chest and he could feel anger rising at the back of his throat. “I don’t want to tell him that, Jonghyun. You can’t tell him. He can either be a guardian or ascend. With me.”

Jonghyun shakes his head then grips Jinki’s arm. “It’s the rule, Jinki. You know that. A human soul can go three ways: the ascension, where he can finally rise to the peak and be at peace; the pledge, where he can be a guardian like us and take care of lost souls; and the fall, where he can go back to his world and live another life.” He makes Jinki look at him by jerking his arm. “It is his right to know that, how many times do I have to tell you?”

Jinki presses his lips together and looks away from Jonghyun’s piercing eyes. “I…want him to stay with me.” When he finally looks up, his eyes are misting. “Jjong, I can’t…”

Sighing, Jonghyun holds the other guardian close. “Why are you like this, Jinki? It’s been four lifetimes. Why are you still remembering him?”

Jinki holds on to Jonghyun's shoulders, tears starting to form in his eyes. "Jjong, you know what Minho is to me. He's the only one for me. I can't...I can't let him go now."

"You cannot hang on to him when he wants something else, Jinki," Jonghyun whispers as he combs Jinki's hair with his fingers. "How many times do I have to tell you? You cannot dictate what Minho wants for himself."

"But...but I'm destined to him."

"Maybe not this time, Jinki. Maybe not in this time."

And Jinki buries his face on Jonghyun's shoulder, tears freely flowing from his eyes. Despite Jinki’s tears, however, he still calls over Minho and explains his choices to him. The sun hasn’t even shown a crown of orange to signify a new day and Minho is already gone. And Jinki watches as his ward’s soul fell into the abyss. Slowly, he collapses at the edge of a cliff and weeps.



-----



“I really like you.”

Taemin’s eyes grew wide, his mouth open like an O. “Y-yah, Minho-hyung!”

Minho cleared his throat and held Taemin’s shoulder. “Taeminnie, I really like you. Will you go out with me?”

“Yes, of course, hyung. Oh my god, I…” Taemin could only laugh in disbelief. “Is this even happening, really?”

Minho laughed with him. “Idiot. I’ve been trying to tell you that I like you since we met in the coffee shop two years ago!” Suddenly, he looked at his watch. “Hey, will you wait here for me? I’m going to get you a celebratory gift!”

“What? There’s no need!” Taemin tried to pull his hyung back but Minho was insistent. “Fine. Be careful!”

“I love you, Lee Taemin!” Minho yelled as he crossed the street. Taemin laughed and blushed in slight embarrassment. They were busy waving each other that they didn’t notice the van careening in an unbelievable speed towards where Minho stood.

Taemin didn’t even have the time to shout as a loud crash was heard. He stared at the scene before him. The van crashed into a car from the opposite direction, and between their hoods was Minho’s body, crushed and buried and unseen under the torn and folded metal.

“No…” Taemin whispered, his knees giving away. “Hyung…”

As sirens of firemen and ambulances filled the air and as throngs of people crowded around the accident scene, Taemin dropped onto the pavement, hands coming up to cover his hands and eyes unblinking in horror as tears profusely slid down his face.



---



“What did you tell him?!” Jinki yells as he wraps his fingers around Jonghyun’s neck and slams the guardian against the wall. “What did you tell Minho, Jjong?!” Lightning prickles from his fingers, making the other squirm away in pain.

Jonghyun manages to pry the fingers away from his neck and push the other away, making Jinki wince. “I told him what he’s supposed to know,” he calmly says. “You conveniently forgot to explain to him his choices again.”

“He’s not supposed to fall,” Jinki wails, cradling his head in his hands as he crouches down. “He’s not…he’s supposed to stay with me! He is tied to me and he should be with me!” He lifted his left hand to show Jonghyun the torn shadow of a silky thread tied to his ring finger. “We shouldn’t sever this. He can’t…”

“Get a hold of yourself, guardian!” Jonghyun scolds, making Jinki flinch in surprise. “Minho has every right to hear his choices. It isn’t even his time yet!” He crouches down, too, until his eyes level with Jinki’s. “Have you sunk so low, Jinki? So low that you orchestrated his early death?”

Jinki gasps, then swallows. “That…he is supposed to die anyway.”

Jonghyun sighs then drags Jinki up until they both stand. “He isn’t supposed to die in ten years,” he snaps at Jinki. “I know the books, Jinki. And I know you dislodged a lightning bolt from its path to hit a vehicle and make it lose control so it will hit Minho. You think I don't know how you tried to hide that you're a murderer, Jinki?” Jinki flinches again at the mention of the word. “I can’t believe you would play with someone’s life just so you can meet them sooner.”

“He…he was starting to love again,” Jinki says, voice almost a whisper. “I…I thought you wouldn’t mind since he’s not tied to your ward this time and…”

“It doesn’t matter if he ends up with Kibum or not!” Jonghyun shouts, frustration eating away his patience. “Jinki, we are supposed to save souls, not destroy their lives. Minho could’ve lived ten more years happily in that lifetime and you destroyed that chance.”

Jinki cowers in fear. He could feel anger emanating from Jonghyun’s body. He clasps his hands together, but as he does he sees the almost transparent thread tied around his ring finger. “But Jjong, you told me,” he softly says. “You told me that Minho and I were destined. If he is destined to be with me then I should make him stay here, right?”

Jonghyun’s jaw clenches before he moves fast—so fast that Jinki only has mere moments to shield himself with his wings as Jonghyun unleashes a ball of water at him. But as Jinki unfurls his wings, he doesn’t see Jonghyun’s angry face anymore. Instead there is only extreme worry on his face. “J-jong?” he asks, shaking wet hair from his face.

“Jinki, have you ever seen you wings?” Jonghyun asks, his anger seemingly forgotten. When Jinki shakes his head, Jonghyun gives him a solemn look. “When you first became a guardian, your wings were pristine white, the purest among our group."

Jinki's eyes lights up. "Really? Minho said he likes my wings, but I've never really seen..."

"They've changed, Jinki. Your wings are now a shadow of grey."

Without another word, Jonghyun turns around and walks away, leaving Jinki kneeling in the ground with wings that are slowly becoming as dark as the night enveloping them.



---



“He was such a good boy. I don’t know what happened to him!”

Minho knelt on a rug situated before the casket. As he looked up, he found the picture of his former lover staring back at him, eyes unmoving and cold. He gritted his teeth and tried to hold back his tears.

Jinki had been cheerful a week ago, even playfully challenging Minho to a game of football after school. Minho’s lover had never been to show sadness or disappointment easily, which was why Minho never noticed if there was something wrong with him.

Sure, Jinki had expressed displeasure over the council president’s blatant interest towards Minho, but Minho assured him that Kibum was just naturally clingy and demanding and that nothing or no one could ever come between him and Jinki.

Jinki smiled then and reached for Minho’s hand, but Minho wondered if the older boy worried about it all this time.

Suddenly, a memory of Kibum trying to steal a kiss from him as they shared umbrellas came to mind. Fists clenching on his lap, Minho remembered that day. It was raining hard and Minho told Jinki to go home first since he had club activities. Some guys from another class were bullying Jinki, too, and Minho didn’t want Jinki to stay too late in school when he is not around. But as he was ready to leave that night, he realized that he didn’t have an umbrella. Kibum offered to share and Minho had been a fool to agree. They hadn’t even taken ten steps when Kibum grabbed him and whirled him around for a kiss.

The kiss was a very brief one and did not even land squarely on Minho’s lips. He quickly pushed Kibum and ran away into the rain. He thought he did a good job protecting himself and not causing a scandal. He decided to tell Jinki about it before he heard it from someone else, but Jinki had stopped coming to school.

Then next thing he heard from Jinki was when it was announced in school that Jinki had died. He had fallen down the train tracks just when the train arrived. Some people said he killed himself, but Minho couldn’t quite believe it yet. There was no way his cheerful, lovable, and gentle Jinki could kill himself no matter what the reason was.

As Minho fought back tears, he spied movement near the casket. He blinked and found himself staring at a young man bending towards the casket. He was wearing all white and his hair was platinum blond. Although silent, he seemed so sad as he cradled his face in his hands, shoulders shaking as he cried.

Minho looked around to see if anyone was paying the young man attention, but no one seemed to notice. When Minho looked back, the man was gone.



-----



“Don’t do this, Jinki.”

Jinki doesn’t pay Jonghyun any attention, his eyes only fixated on the man lying on the hospital bed. Minho looks so frail after his operation, but his heart and organs are working well. His vital signs are also normal. Too normal for Jinki. Especially when Kibum sits at Minho’s bedside, patting his hand as if it can be felt through all the anaesthesia Minho is under.

Jinki has read the book a while ago. It states that Minho will survive this operation and will live on to stay with Kibum later on. They will adopt children and live overseas, and Minho will be a successful businessman. They will live a long life together—too long, if Jinki is to be asked.

“I can’t wait,” Jinki murmured as he held Minho’s other hand. “Jjong, it hurts and I can’t wait…” His fingers twitched but he clenches his hands, yet he couldn't hide his shaking.

Jonghyun’s hands remain on his ward’s shoulders, but he glares at Jinki. “Don’t do it, Jinki. Please. This is the only lifetime where Minho can live a long life. Don’t take it from him.” Jonghyun's wings slowly unfolded and hovered over him and Kibum, as if protecting his ward from an impending danger even though Jinki couldn't harm him.

Jinki looks at Minho’s sleeping form, his face slowly filling with color again. Then he looks at Kibum, who intently watches Minho’s face, affection apparent in his face. Jinki presses his lips together, then edges towards the heart machine. He takes a last look at Jonghyun, who was pleading him with his eyes. But Jinki shakes his head. “I’m sorry, Jjong.” He closes his eyes and ignores Jonghyun's screams that pierce through his heart.

He cuts off Minho’s life support.

An alarm goes off and resounds in the room, making Kibum stand up in shock. He checks Minho's monitor then screams for any medical person nearby. As panic rises in the room, Jinki steps back and watches. “I’m sorry,” he mutters under his breath. He watches as Kibum starts crying and calling for Minho's name while nurses and doctors pile into the room.

“Jinki!” Jonghyun yells through the mayhem. “Jinki, please! Don’t do this! Don’t let Minho die!”

Jinki watches Jonghyun focus his attention from him to Kibum, who is crying in fear with hands pressed over his mouth. Neither can do anything. Jinki has the power to take care of his ward and Jonghyun cannot stop him.

The doctors try to resuscitate Minho as they watch, and Minho’s heart seems defiant. It continues to faintly beat, and Jinki feels that Minho’s passing is getting stalled. He walks closer to the bed and tries to see what he can do, but Jonghyun walks towards him and grasps his hand.

“Jjong…” Jinki whispers in surprise. He is afraid before that Jonghyun might be angry. But instead of the usual frown, tears flow from Jonghyun’s eyes. He is crying and holding on to Jinki in a silent plea.

“Jinki, please stop this,” Jonghyun whimpers as he grips Jinki’s wrist. “Minho and Kibum, they’re destined in this lifetime.” Jinki hisses in a breath but Jonghyun ignores him and continues. “If you…If you let Minho die, Kibum will die, too. Please, don’t let Kibum die. Jinki, I’m begging you.”

Jinki grits his teeth and watches Minho fight for his life despite the slowing heartbeat. In the far corner of the room, Kibum stands, petrified and hyperventilating as he watches the nurses and doctors try to revive his lover. Jinki squints, then studies Kibum’s ring finger. A thin red line encircles the finger, stretching all the way on the floor and over the bed and ends around Minho’s ring finger.

Jonghyun is saying the truth. They are destined in this lifetime.

The heart monitor sets off an alarm again, causing more panic in the room. The pressure on Jinki’s hands is increasing as Jonghyun grips him harder. Jinki studies Kibum and Minho again, his mind a blur.

“How many lifetimes of Minho are you willing to destroy, Jinki?” Jonghyun asks him. “How many times are you going to break his loved ones’ hearts? You can’t do this forever!”

Jinki closes his eyes.

“Jinki,” Jonghyun says, a bit softer than before. “If you love Minho that much, you will give him the life he deserves.”

Jinki opens his eyes and stares at Jonghyun’s brown gaze. Somehow, the last statement hurts him, as if it’s a truth that he should have known all along.

Taking a deep breath, Jinki wills everything back to what it was before he tapped it. Suddenly, the heart monitor stops beeping and Minho’s vital signs slowly goes back to normal. The doctors and nurses back away from Minho’s bed. Kibum looks up, eyes swollen with tears, and walks toward Minho’s bed. Silently, he grasps Minho’s hand and weeps.

Jinki watches him and turns to Jonghyun, who hugs him. “Thank you,” Jonghyun whispers in his ear. “Thank you, Jinki.” Jonghyun releases Jinki and floats back to Kibum, enveloping the crying man in his pure white wings, muttering soft words of comfort that Kibum couldn't hear.

As he turns away to leave, Jinki wonders if his wings have finally turned black as midnight for this deed. He looks at his hand and fingers the string tied to his ring finger. He has missed another lifetime.



--



"Where am I?"

"You're in my sanctuary," Jonghyun said, cradling the soul's hand on his own. "Do you remember anything, Jinki?" He reached up and wiped away the phantom blood caking on the side of Jinki's face.

"I remember...standing on the station platform and then..." Jonghyun watched Jinki's face contort into horror and pain as memories of his death flooded him. He screamed and shook violently, clutching his face in his hands as he writhed in agony.

"Jinki, Jinki..." Jonghyun murmured, biting his lower lip as he tried not to cry. Guardians weren't supposed to show their weaknesses to their ward. "Why did you do it? You weren't supposed to be here yet."

Jinki gasped as he cried, his hand clutching his heart. "I...I...I remember being so sad. Like, like I was being killed from the inside. I was betrayed and..." His eyes cleared up. "Minho, he...I saw him and the student council..." Jinki cried once more at the memory, and Jonghyun had to open his wings and embrace him.

"Sshh..." Jonghyun whispers comfortingly as Jinki sobbed on his chest. "It's all over now, Jinki. You can forget the pain now."

A few mornings after, Jinki was calm enough to ask for Jonghyun's name and walk around the sanctuary. He also learned about his choices of what to do now that he had gained the memories of his death. Jonghyun patiently walks with him, answering all his questions, including how Minho continued to live down on Earth.

"If I hadn't killed myself," Jinki asked as they sat at the edge of the staircase winding above them. "Will I end up with Minho or will he chase after that other guy?"

Jonghyun bit his lip in hesitation. He wasn't supposed to divulge anything that was written in the book. But Jinki looked up at him with the hopeful eyes he loved so much and he couldn't say no. "You will," he said, instantly regretting it when Jinki's face turned to that of shock and ache. "You were destined, Jinki," he continued sadly, letting his fingers run over Jinki's knuckles. "Your thread," he said, referring to the cut thread wound around Jinki's ring finger, "connects to Minho. You were fated to be with each other."

Jinki stared at the thread on his finger. "Do you think...How do I...Will I see Minho again?"

"You will," Jonghyun said softly. "You'll probably meet in another life. I cannot guarantee that you'll end up with each other in new lifetimes, but..."

"No," Jinki whispered as he gripped Jonghyun's hand. "We need to end up with each other this time, Jjong. I need to wait for him here. I...I will wait for him here and we can stay together forever." He dropped Jonghyun's hands and smiled at his newfound enthusiasm. "I...maybe I should be a guardian and be with him all the time! Can I do that?"

"Jinki, I..." Jonghyun started, but Jinki was already lost, thoughts of becoming a guardian and meeting his former lover once more flooding his mind.



--



Jinki feels a presence looming over him and he looks up to see Jonghyun walking up to him and sitting beside him. They sit at the edge of the abyss, Jinki looking down at the impenetrable void below.

"Am I going to be punished now?" Jinki asks, laughing hollowly.

Jonghyun shakes his head and Jinki breathes in, unfolding his wings. He couldn't see it, but with the way Jonghyun gasps, his wings are probably pitch black now. He folds it back once more and sulks by the cliff again.

"It's going to be alright, Jinki," Jonghyun says, but Jinki only laughs. There is no way what he did is considered alright.

"I was thinking," Jinki says as Jonghyun settles beside him. "That maybe I wasn't meant for Minho after all. I've spent a dozen of lifetimes looking for him, finding him, and guiding him. But he never once realized that we were destined."

Jonghyun plays with his own hair, following Jinki's eyes as another soul drops into the abyss in the hopes of being reborn. "Jinki, I think you're forgetting something. I told you that you were destined to be with Minho in that one lifetime. But it doesn't mean that you will end up with him each time."

"Why not?" Jinki mutters as he rests his chin on his knees. "Why can't it be us? I've never once wavered in my feelings for him. I'm willing to wait an eternity for him. So why can't he?"

"Because your memories are intact when you became a guardian and Minho doesn't have his previous memories because he's reborn over and over," Jonghyun explains. "Feelings are...in one way or another, part of our thoughts and memories. They're not something that just come up randomly within us, even if we have our destined someone. Like that time you last died. You were destined, yet you decided that your feelings for Minho did not overcome your sadness and suspicions. You worked against your fate, so the thread connecting you and Minho broke."

"You're saying that destiny does not encompass our lives, then?" Jinki mutters once more, his mouth biting the cloth of his robe. "You're saying that we can defy our destinies even though it is what is meant to be?"

Jonghyun drops a hand to trace shapes on the sand near where they sit. "People who manage to follow their destinies are fortunate. But not everyone can meet their true destinies. So most of them create their own fates and it's not bad at all. They continue to live even though they aren't following their fates. And it is alright. A person's destined path is just...a guide, like what we do. Whatever happens in someone's life is not only the work of their destiny, but the decisions they take each step of their living time."

"What am I to do then?" Jinki cries in despair. "I want to be with him, Jjong, I really do! But I don't know how!"

"There's a way," Jonghyun says, standing up and offering an hand to Jinki.

Jinki takes the hand and helps himself up. Before them lies the dark abyss towards Earth. "What do you mean?" Jinki asks as Jonghyun turns him so they're both facing the cliff. "Do you mean I should...?"

Jonghyun embraces Jinki from behind. "In order to find your destiny, you must find it down there." He gestures towards the abyss. "You cannot force someone who doesn't love you back, but you can at least try--in may lifetimes--to make him love you." He squeezes Jinki's waist and lets go before chuckling. "Of course, by the time you are reborn, you might have a different destiny as well as a different heart. But instead of passing lifetimes here and being miserable, you can start anew, Jinki. Live a new life."

Jinki stares at the abyss. Since he had died he has never thought of falling. He is too preoccupied with Minho and how to make him stay in the sanctuary forever that he never considers the option of falling and being reborn. The idea of being reborn and not finding Minho seems daunting, but Jonghyun is right. He cannot continue destroying lifetimes just for the sake of getting what he wants. He has to think about what Minho wants, too.

"Funny," Jinki breathes as he turns his head to look at Jonghyun. "I am now curious about what you will do if you're in my shoes."

Jonghyun's smile suddenly disappears that Jinki is afraid that he has angered the other guardian. "I'll let him go," Jonghyun answers. "If I love him so much but he has found a new path without me, I'll let him go."

Jinki feels his nonexistent heart clench a bit as he stares at Jonghyun's piercing gaze. "Jjong..."

Jonghyun slowly smiles and gives Jinki's shoulder a little push. "That's why I'm letting you go, Jinki."

Jinki's eyes widens as he loses his footing and falls. He stretches out his arms towards Jonghyun, but Jonghyun only looks down at him with a teary smile. As Jinki falls, he feels a tug on his left hand's ring finger. Not a second after he hears a loud snap, and the thread tied to his hand falls limply towards his body as he plummets into the void.




--



"I used to hear you, actually, whenever you tried to sneak up on me."

Jonghyun gave a start and folds his wings neatly until only silhouettes of them were visible. "What do you mean?"

Jinki laughed, distracted as he watched the world below. He was monitoring his first ward. Jonghyun could remember that time Jinki found Minho. He was overjoyed to the point of tears. Jonghyun did not want Jinki to handle Minho's life at all, but he could only do so much to placate the other. He decided to let Jinki do whatever he wanted.

"I mean," Jinki started as soon as he stopped watching Earth. "When I was studying in class, sometimes I'd hear a rustle? I knew it wasn't from the curtains. Also when it was raining one time and I didn't have an umbrella, I heard a sound like someone opening an umbrella and putting it over my head."

Jonghyun kept quiet and fiddled with his fingers. "I...wasn't really the best in stealth among our peers."

Jinki laughed and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. "Well, you shouldn't worry about it. I was glad."

"Glad?"

"Yeah. Because somehow, even when I was not with anybody, I can feel a presence. And that was good enough to remind me that I'm never alone."

Jonghyun's eyes widened, then softened in hidden affection. He let his hands rest on Jinki's nape, smiling when Jinki leaned against his touch. "Yeah, you're never alone. I'm with you, Jinki. Always."



---



"My hands are cold."

Minho turns around with a look so worried that Jinki almost falls over laughing. "What? What did I do?" Minho asks, a bit cross.

Jinki straightens and wipes his eyes with a hand. "I just said I'm cold, Minho-yah. You didn't have to act like I was injured badly or something."

It's the other man's turn to laugh. "Your whining made me concerned, okay." Deftly, he took Jinki's hand in his larger ones. "Let me warm you up, then?" he asks, smiling as he leaned closer and pressed their foreheads together. "Do you want coffee?"

Jinki pushes him back playfully and point to a nearby coffee shop. "Fine, let's get some and go home. I'll wait outside." Minho only gives him a grin as he jogs into the shop, leaving Jinki to sit on one of the outdoor tables and huddle against the cold. Casually, he checks his phone and wonders when they'll finally head home. Minho has just finished a soccer match overseas and Jinki is dying to cuddle after being left alone for months.

"Hi," someone greets him and knocks him out of his stupor. Jinki looks up and finds a waiter handing him a steaming cup of cappuccino. The waiter has the brightest smile he has ever seen, his hair black and streaked with platinum blond lines. Jinki tries to read the waiter's name, but his tag seems blurry.

"Yes?" Jinki asks as he thankfully receives the cup. Maybe Minho had some carried out because he knows Jinki is freezing outside. "Thank you."

"Are you happy?" the waiter asks. Jinki stares at him, unsure if he meant something sarcastic. But the man only has sincerity in his eyes, and something like sadness that Jinki couldn't understand.

Happy? Jinki thinks for a bit. He works in a bookstore and lives away from his family, but there is no trouble he knows of. Aside from his lover being away often because of scheduled games, there isn't really anything dissatisfying in his life at the moment. In fact, he could live like this again in another lifetime, if they'll let him.

"Yes, I am happy," Jinki answers with a smile.

He doesn't expect anything, and is surprised when the waiter smiles wider and nods. "That's good."

"Jinki?" Minho calls from the door. He raises his bought cups. "Let's go home?"

Jinki scrambles to his feet and bumps his toe against a foot of a table. He curses a bit and looks up to thank the waiter, but he is gone. "Huh? Where?"

"What's going on?" Minho asks, encircling one of Jinki's arms with his own. "Did you order while I was inside?" He refersd to the cup of coffee on the table.

"No, I thought you did," Jinki says absently. "I thought you sent a waiter here to serve me and he asked me if I am happy and..."

Suddenly, Jinki stills. He hears it--a sound so familiar that he remembers it well into his childhood. It is the sound that comforts him and reminds him that he isn't alone. He hasn't heard it for a long time that he once thought it was just his imagination.

But he hears it--a sudden rush of wings.

"Jinki, are you alright?" Minho asks, but Jinki is too busy looking up to the sky. With the rustle, he is sure he heard something else. A promise, a pledge of something he couldn't understand.

"See you in another lifetime, Jinki."



--



"Jonghyun, will you help me out here? We have a new trainee and he needs to be guided around the dorm."

The new boy has long hair almost covering his face, baggy jeans, and a size-too-large jacket. He seems a bit nervous and scared, so Jonghyun smiles at him. "Hi! My name is Jonghyun."

"I'm Lee Jinki, hyung," the new boy answered. Jonghyun thought his name sounded really nice.

"Sunbae left you to my care so..." Jonghyun felt uncomfortable at the thought of sounding a bit too bossy, but he had to take care of the newbie. "Do you want me to give you a tour of the dorm and training halls?"

Jinki smiled and Jonghyun wondered why he hid his beautiful smiles under all that hair.

"Are you going to enter the academy?" Jonghyun asks conversationally as they walked through the corridor. "I'm entering soon so I can practice my singing."

Jinki nods. "They told me I can be part of an idol group so I should practice my singing and dancing more," he replies as he combs his hair off his face. "I am not even sure if I..."

"That's what they told me, too!" Jonghyun says, excited. "Hey, maybe we'll end up in one idol group. Won't that be neat?"

Jinki looks surprised and Jonghyun is almost afraid that he'll be rejected. But the other boy smiles widely and takes Jonghyun's hand. "I'd...I'd like it very much if we end up in a group together, Jonghyun-hyung."

Jonghyun grins and squeezes Jinki's hand. "We'll be the best idol group, Jinki."

They start walking towards the mess halls but something tugs in Jonghyun's chest. He wants to say it, but somehow it sounds weird. He could feel the heat rushing to his face but his mouth is faster than his common sense. Quickly, he turns around and catches Jinki by surprise. With a solemn face, Jonghyun places a hand on Jinki's shoulder.

"I'm not letting you go this time, Jinki. Not in this lifetime."
 

end