I will fold one paper crane each time I think of you.

Sungyeol asked himself sometimes why he couldn't be just normal.

Other boys his age would bang ten girls, seduce twenty more and betray one girl with another thirty.

Perhaps it was purely exaggerated, but it still proved that Sungyeol was different.

Beginning from girls.

Indeed, he liked boys. Got seduced by the way the talked, they walked, simply were.

Truth be told, it was only one boy.

His best friend.

~~~

It sounded like a weird cliché, even in Sungyeol's ears. But he loved his straight best friend.

His straight best friend who was taken.

Sungyeol admitted that she was pretty. Su Ji was a pretty girl who shined with her simplicity and humbleness. She had a good and pure heart.

He couldn't blame her. It wasn't her fault that Myungsoo fell for her.

On the other side, he couldn't just go and blame Myungsoo. It wasn't his fault that Sungyeol had fallen for him.

If there was someone who should be blamed, then it was Lee Sungyeol himself, because it was him who had those selfish, selfish thoughts; it was him who sought for his own happiness and forgot about the happiness of others

Indeed, it was his fault.

~~~

The day Sungyeol started folding paper cranes was when he felt his tears emerging.

It was the moment when Myungsoo and Su Ji exchanged their first peck in front of him.

Sungyeol barely managed to resist the urge to cry, heck to arrange his thoughts. All he could think was the soft, soft (imaginary) touch of Myungsoo's lips on his. All he could think of was the sentence: kiss me instead of that .

(But Su Ji wasn't a , and Myungsoo wasn't gay like Sungyeol.)

When Sungyeol saw the sheet of paper lying on the desk, he took it and started folding.

-

It was Myungsoo who taught him how to fold paper cranes, and it was also him who told Sungyeol about the legend.

They say that you'll get a wish fulfilled when you fold a thousand paper cranes.

It was close to stupidity what he did, and he knew that it wouldn't bring a thing.

But it wasn't about the fulfilling of a wish. It wasn't about that at all.

It was about controlling himself.

~~~

"Are you alright?" Myungsoo asked Sungyeol. The elder took another sheet of paper and started folding the crane.

(It was Number 100, and maybe Sungyeol did fold it for the sake of the wish.

His trembling hands didn't stop him.)

"I'll be alright," Sungyeol answered in all honesty.

"You are so silent lately." Myungsoo paused. "Are you sure that you don't want to talk about it?"

Sungyeol almost finished folding and didn't look up when he replied.

"I'm sorry, Myungsoo, but no, I don't want to talk about it."

Deep silence enveloped between them.

"I'm fighting," Sungyeol finally added.

"Fighting against what?"

Fighting against you.

Fighting against you and your girlfriend.

Fighting against my thoughts of you.

Fighting against my feelings regarding you.

"Fighting against myself."

He finished the crane just to start the next one. He started folding because of Myungsoo. But now he folded because of him, and his selfish, selfish thoughts.

Sungyeol indeed was selfish.

~~~

"Hyung?"

It was Daeyeol, his younger brother, who called him. Sungyeol didn't answer.

It was his 200^th crane, and probably the tenth cut on his fingers.

The crane indeed was folded exactly.

Not that Sungyeol liked to harm himself, but he didn't stop thinking.

He couldn't stop thinking about Myungsoo.

So he just had to fold the crane, even if it wasn't purely white.

It was helping him to distract himself from the omnipresent problem named Kim Myungsoo.

~~~

"Su Ji-yah."

"Yes, Myungsoo-oppa?"

"Sungyeol worries me."

"Really? Why?"

"See, he is generally a talkative person. He smiles a lot. But he's behaving so weird lately."

"How so?"

"He doesn't talk with me at all. He doesn't smile. Daeyeol told me that he folds cranes out of paper. But the thing that worries me the most are his eyes. They look so…lifeless."

"There's probably something that worries him a lot. Something that makes him so sad and empty, that he folds paper cranes," Su Ji suggested.

"Why does he make them anyways?"

"To distract himself. Maybe, it's just his way of silencing the pain. Others harm themselves; Sungyeol-oppa folds cranes."

There was a pause.

"Maybe he wants that one of his wishes come true," Myungsoo considered.

"Hm, I think that way too. But there's more behind it."

What Su Ji didn’t tell that she already knew why Sungyeol behaved that way.

~~~

It was the 999^th crane when Su Ji and Sungyeol met in a café. (Yes, it happened too often.)

"I just hope that Myungsoo-oppa will never know about the things we talk about now," she started. "He knows that we two have a meeting today, so the meeting itself is no problem."

The waiter came and asked for their order. Without asking Sungyeol, Su Ji ordered to cappuccinos. Sungyeol raised his eyebrows.

"Is the second one for me?" he asked.

"Yes. Caffeine brings you energy."

"Oh. Excuse me!" Sungyeol called the waiter out. "I'd rather have one Americano!"

Su Ji smiled and Sungyeol shrugged.

"Well, oppa, to come to the point, " she said when the orders arrived, "I know what drove you to this."

"Drove me to what?" It was a rhetorical question and both knew that.

"And I know who drove you to this."

"Ah."

"Oppa, I worry about you as much as Myungsoo-oppa does. But unlike him, I believe in you. Unlike him, I know your 'problem'. You know, my brother is homoual. I have never told Myungsoo-oppa about this. But back to the point." She leaned forward and held his hands comfortingly. "I believe in you and your happiness. It isn't your fault. Nothing is your fault. It's normal to like a person. But please, don't destroy yourself while doing so."

Sungyeol realized why Myungsoo liked Su Ji so much – because she was warm and pleasing, like the summer. Or like sunshine.

Yes, she was like the sunshine beaming brightly on him.

Sungyeol literally felt how the grey clouds in his soul vanished.

"I'll promise that I'll be a good girlfriend. And I hope that I will never be the reason for his tears," Su Ji said, a wide smile on her face. Sungyeol grinned widely.

"Let's hope at least."

~~~

Sungyeol stood on a bridge, metres below him the relentless sea. In his hands was a box containing one thousand paper cranes.

He closed his eyes, smelled the salty fragrance of the sea, felt the cold wind messing his hair.

No. He wouldn't jump. Not now, and never.

Myungsoo, I wish for your eternal happiness.

Sungyeol opened his eyes and emptied the box. One thousand cranes flew, containing all his pain, and all the grey clouds of his soul.

So that I never suffer again.

Sungyeol still was selfish. But maybe, being a bit selfish was healthy.

~~~

When Myungsoo found the paper crane right on his desk, his intuition told him that something was wrong with Sungyeol. Worse, he had a strong hunch that something bad had happened tohim. He took the crane and realized that some words were written on the paper.

No…

With quick (and trembling) hands, Myungsoo unfolded the paper crane.

It was a letter, addressed to him.

Myungsoo,

If you read this, I will be far, far away.

Myungsoo already felt his tears coming.

Nah, kidding. I'm not dead – at least not now. I'm in Yongin. My home town, remember? Well, we moved, so when you read this, chances are high that I'm there. Seoul was great. You are great, and so is the sunshine beside you. I loved my time here.

Maybe you've guessed – your sunshine knew it, for example – and yes, your hunch was right. I did love you. I am homoual.

Maybe it's better that way. Maybe it's better that I'm not here anymore. Because I seriously don't want to see your expression right now.

Lee Sungyeol.

P.S: This is not a joke.