Insecure

자유 True Beauty
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Insecure [ˌin-si-ˈkyu̇r] adj - subject to fears, doubts, etc; not confident or assured of one's capabilities

 

“So… where do we start?”

A quiet pause filled the room as they all exchanged blank expressions.

“Maybe we should just wait until Mihyun comes?” Chanyeol suggested at he scratched the back of his head. “I’m sure she has some good ideas for us.”

Baekhyun shook his head and threw his fist up in the air to motivate their spirits, “We can’t rely on Mihyun to come up with everything; we have to be able to take charge for once!”

“Okay, then what do you have in mind, Baekhyun?” Jongin asked with a raised eyebrow and crossed arms.

Baekhyun’s smile slid off of his face and his arm fell back to his side as he slumped forward. “Nothing.”

The scratching of Luhan’s stick sounded as he carved something into the dirt. The 5 other heads bent over eagerly to see what suggestions the eldest had to offer.

We .

“You didn’t need to tell us that,” Baekhyun muttered as he kicked dust over Luhan’s carving.

“What do you think Kyungsoo? You’ve been awfully quiet lately,” Baekhyun asked the other with a concerned expression.

Kyungsoo nearly jumped out of his skin at the sudden acknowledgement, and his eyes darted around the room nervously as he cowered under their gazes. “I-I-I do-do-don-don’t-n’t kn-kno-know any-thin-ing.”

Jongin sighed quietly as he wrapped his arm around the boy’s shoulders to pull him tightly to his chest. “It’s fine, Kyungsoo, you can say whatever you think.”

“Why has your stuttering gotten so much worse?” Chanyeol asked with furrowed eyebrows. “The work you had done with Mihyun improved it a lot, but now it sounds even worse than when you first started.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes widened at the words, and he looked as if he was going to cry. Before Chanyeol could take back his insensitive statement, Kyungsoo jolted up to his feet, startling everybody in the room. “I-I-I’m-I’m so-so-s-so sor-sorr-ry I-I-‘m d-du-dumb-umb!” he exclaimed with his eyes squeezed shut before he sprinted out of the room.

“Soo!” Jongin exclaimed as he climbed to his feet. He sent the others an apologetic expression before he ran after the other. “Kyungsoo Hyung, come back!”

“I didn’t mean to,” Chanyeol murmured guiltily as he stared at Kyungsoo’s empty spot.

“It’s not your fault Hyung,” Sehun reassured the other with a sigh. “Kyungsoo Hyung has been breaking apart ever since that bastard told him such awful words.”

“He really believes that he’s stupid,” Baekhyun whispered in a heartbroken tone as he bunched his knees to his chest. “I just… god, the things Jaemin said yesterday… I want to skin that man alive.”

“You’re not the only one Baek,” Chanyeol sighed as he placed a hand on the other’s shoulders.

“Excuse me?” a foreign yet slightly familiar voice interrupted the thoughts of the boys, and all four heads snapped up to look at the intruder.

“Jae… Jaesuk Hyung?” Chanyeol asked as he recalled the name of Mihyun’s driver. “What are you doing here? Is Mihyun with you?”

“Unfortunately I’ve come aloe because I wanted to speak to you all in private. Han Agashi will be coming at a later time, however,” Jaesuk answered as he glanced around the room. “Where are the other two? I was hoping to catch you all at the same time.”

“We’re right here,” Jongin called out as he came back into the room with a shivering Kyungsoo at his side. “We’re here, and we’re fine. Right, Hyung?”

“Y-Y-Yea-Yeah,” Kyungsoo nodded in an unconvincing tone.

“Well now that you’re all gathered together, I can now continue on. I came here today because there are two things I wanted to speak to you all about, the first of which is the fact that I wanted to express my uttermost gratitude to you all.”

The eyes of the Noyes widened in surprise as they watched Jaesuk bow down at a 90 degree angle.

“W-What are you doing?” Baekhyun asked, his eyes wide with bewilderment.

“Like I said,” Jaesuk rose to his full height once again and gave them a small, sincere smile, “I wanted to thank you all.”

“Yeah we heard you the first time, but what for?” Jongin asked with furrowed eyebrows of confusion. “We haven’t done anything for you.”

“Not for me, but for Han Agashi. I’ve known Han Agashi since she was 6 years old,” Jaesuk responded, rather than answering Jongin’s question directly. “And if it wasn’t for that 6 year old girl… I would have ended up where you all are today.”

“You mean…?” Chanyeol asked, his eyes widening with astonishment once he processed the other’s words.

“My family sold me off to be a Noye,” Jaesuk nodded with downcast eyes. “I was 18 years old then, and I ran away the minute, no, the second I found out.”

“But—”

“Yes, I know you are supposed to get killed once you are captured,” Jaesuk answered Baekhyun, already knowing what the other was going to interject with. “I knew that, but I ran anyways. I remember the day like it was just yesterday, and although many would classify the day they are sold as the worst day of their life, I have to disagree. It was the best day for me, for it was the day I met Han Agashi.”

“Don’t worry,” Jaesuk chuckled lightly when he saw Sehun turn rigid at his words. “I care for the Agashi as if she was my own sister, my own daughter. Never have I bore any romantic interests in her, and never will I ever.”

“Don’t be such a prude, Sehun, nobody’s going to steal your girl,” Baekhyun rolled his eyes as he smacked Sehun on the back of his head. “Go ahead and continue, Hyung.”

“It had been raining that day, and I remember running madly through the roads drenching wet. I had been running a fever that day as well, and I could hardly see the path I was going. At some point I became too exhausted to continue any further, and simply gave up. I sat there for a long time, dancing on the brink of consciousness and unconsciousness, and it was then that I met Han Agashi. I remember the first words she told me,” Jaesuk chuckled with nostalgia. “She told me I was beautiful.”

Sehun glanced up at those words, recalling the line Mihyun had told him the first time they had met.

“Could you believe it? At only six years old,” Jaesuk laughed. “Long story short, she took me to her father and he offered me a job, and here I am. The point of this is the fact that I’ve stayed by Han Agashi’s side nearly all her life, and I’ve seen her grow up. I know her qualities better than she knows them herself, and although many view her as a practically perfect character, I know all of her flaws. Han Agashi isn’t the type to have small, noticeable flaws. She doesn’t have nasty habits, or imperfections that you can spot right away. Hers are rather… vague, vague, but large and impactful.”

“This, brings me to the second reason as to why I came here today. I wanted to warn all of you,” Jaesuk stared into the eyes of each of the Noyes, making sure they were fully engaged with his words before he continued on. “Han Agashi holds herself at a certain level, and her attitude towards certain people might be classified as prejudice to some point. If at first impression she doesn’t label you as what she likes to call beautiful, then you will never find a significant position in her eyes ever again. It’s like she holds an optimistic and pessimistic view of the world all at the same time, her viewpoint inflicts both maturity and immaturity simultaneously. She believes that if you are beautiful, then everything you do and ever do will continue to be beautiful. You could murder a person and she would still attempt to find some sort of justification because you have been labeled as beautiful. And if you haven’t, then everything you do and ever do will be held at a lower level. This… this is mindset of hers is Han Agashi’s biggest imperfection, her largest blemish.”

“I don’t blame her for thinking in such way, nor do I hold anything against her for having such a prejudice, but it is this mindset that casted her on a path to loneliness due to the fact that many people don’t meet her unknown standards of beauty. No matter what she thinks of others, no matter how she acts towards others, I will always respect Han Agashi and continue to be by her side. I, after all, was one to be on the fortunate side of being classified as beautiful,” Jaesuk stated ruefully.

He strengthened the intensity of his gaze, and stared at each of the Noye’s with hard, cold eyes. “I am telling you all this because I need to know where all of you stand as well. In Han Agashi’s eyes, you have all been labeled as beautiful and no matter what you do or say, Han Agashi will always try to find excuses for you. If any of you plan to take advantage of that, I won’t let you live another day. This, this is my warning to you all.”

A blanket of silence captured all whom were in the room as they digested the words Jaesuk had just exposed to them.

 Jongin wondered how it felt to possess such a mindset, to be able to force yourself to see the good in a person no matter what they were to do. He wondered if he would want such a trait – if it was a blessing or a curse.

 Chanyeol was curious as to what exactly played as the main factor of beauty in Mihyun’s eyes. He and all the other Noyes shared incredibly different qualities, from their looks to their personalities. The only thing they all shared in common was their title, so what was it that made Mihyun decide the qualities of beauty?

Sehun, he was scared. He was scared that one day he would disrupt that mindset of Mihyun’s. He was afraid that one day, he might do something so horrible, so painful to the girl that she might just strip him of his title – that one day he might no longer be beautiful in Mihyun’s eyes any longer.

“And the thanks?” Baekhyun asked meekly, breaking the silence that had lasted for so long.

Jaesuk trained his hard glare onto the boy who quickly cowered away. The corners of his eyes lifted and he let out a soft chuckle, “I wanted to thank you guys for allowing Mihyun to abandon her road of solitude. Like I had stated earlier, her rather unique mindset almost automatically placed her in a lonely position, for not many are honored enough to be seen as beautiful. It is because Mihyun has acknowledged you all as pure hearted that she is capable of exchanging her words and sharing her laughter with you all.”

Jaesuk climbed to his feet and gave the Noyes one last bow, “Those are my final words, so I will now be taking my leave. Han Agashi should be joining you in an hour or so, so I hope you all will spend this time to mull over the words I have left with you. Burn my warning into your minds, because if any of you are to step out of line, I will be the first to end your life. Goodbye.”

Chanyeol swallowed hard as he watched the man disappear from the cages, “He scares me.”

The others nodded in agreement as they recalled the intense glare he had gazed at them all with.

“He has a good heart, though,” Baekhyun sighed as he leaned his head against Chanyeol’s shoulder. “He must care for Mihyun a lot.”

Sehun chuckled at his hyung’s statement, “Anybody who meets her ends up caring

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Aishmin
I have a huge project in the works for True Beauty that I am excited to share with you all soon. In the mean time, keep up with me by following me on Instagram @prisssyla!

Comments

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Zndjcjaj #1
❤️❤️
Beloved_1230 #2
I remember buying this book years ago when I was in middle school….And how I couldn’t stop crying about Haru. I suddenly remembered his character and sad death at work. Your book, I’ll always carry the memories.
Ekale_erie
#3
Chapter 70: Amazing story !
Loves reading it.
There are some issues, not exactly like 'Noyes' but still familiar in our society. I don't understand why this society doesn't consider humanity above all these stupid titles. You wrote an amazing book author. I hope more and more people could read it and understand that humanity is above all.
Thank you author !
❤️
Ekale_erie
#4
Chapter 62: This is really horrible. But she has to save the lives of the others too. My prayers are with those girls. I hope they'll find their own 'Mihyun' too.
Ekale_erie
#5
Chapter 59: So cute ! 🥰😘
Ekale_erie
#6
Chapter 56: She likes him ❤️
Ekale_erie
#7
Chapter 53: I... I.. I'm at loss of words
Ekale_erie
#8
Chapter 52: This girl is on fire 🔥
Ekale_erie
#9
Chapter 49: I hate that old bastard !!
Go to hell you dumb ing old haggard !! 😡
Ekale_erie
#10
Chapter 48: That was so emotional.

Han Miyhun... It's really hard to understand the character. She's wise, good natured, polite, strong, charming and everything. But there's still something about the girl that I can't pinpoint. I guess if the story was from her view point then I would have been. But, on the otherhand, what essence of story would be left if there was no mystery ...