I entered the room. People were occupied. Seems like it’ll take some time before we get to the meeting. I attempt to reach a bench. People are blocking the way.  Certainly not in a mood for a conversation.

I hurriedly made a U-turn to avoid the oncoming rush of people. Don’t want to be questioned. Don’t want to be looked at with pity. Don’t want my failure to be known.

I stealthily exit the room. Looks like the other officers haven’t noticed me. I retire to a quiet area and sit alone. The implacable sensation in my chest remains. A feeling I can’t exactly place. Someplace in between turbulence and calmness. More of the former I guess.

I chose to ignore the feeling and instead tried watching videos. After a while, I realized they weren’t working. The magic was gone. Or the burden I was carrying was far too heavy even for my favorite videos to overcome. I repeatedly played the videos in hopes of burying my emotions deep inside. Soon, I received a text message signaling the start of the meeting.

I listlessly walked towards our designated room. It was already full, so I stayed outside, beside the door frame. I could hear the discussion from here. A minute later, you materialized along with Sunny. You were talking about the elections until you noticed me.

“Hey” you greeted me nonchalantly.

“Hey” I tried to appear chipper albeit unsuccessfully. The moment I saw you, I felt more upset than when I received the news last night. I felt