It's been more than a year since he left the last. It's been more than a year since he'd called the woman to tell her what her husband had been up to. It's been more than a year since he'd ruined two relationships. And he regretted not the separations but the fact that such unhealthy relations had ever formed to begin with.
Now he's with another, her fingers fit nicely between his and her lips are his favorite flavor. They taste like the color pink. He thinks that this is love. He's not sure he could live without the feeling of her body against his while they sleep.
But the love he holds is contaminated with her indecision.
Or maybe it's not her indecision. Maybe it's her pride.
'You're too proud to say that you've made a mistake.'
How could he possibly confront her with this, though? How could he tell her that he knows she doesn't love him? He's too attached.
'I don't wanna admit that we're not gonna fit.'
'I can't let you go.'
“Ryeowook.”
Her voice is melodious. Darling and honeyed. He's going to miss that.
“Ryeowook, what's wrong?”
He has to say it now or never. Now or never. Now or never.
And he can't.
Instead, his lips brush against hers and she hardly kisses back before pulling away, smiling. Always sugar coat it, dear. Always.
'I just want it to be perfect.'
Unlike his last relationship, there's hardly any instances of ual contact. Drunk and late at night with the lights off. That's when they connect, and in the morning she's dressed and leaving for work with a smile and a “goodbye” but never a kiss. Maybe she's ashamed, or maybe she's repulsed. He couldn't blame her either way. She's never loved him. She'll never love him. But she stays and he doesn't know why. He doesn't dare question it.
“I have to leave soon, Ryeowook. I have-”
“Work. I know.”
Another smile, and Ryeowook realizes that they never seem genuine anymore. They were better as friends. Better apart and together than together and apart.
He presses a kiss to her cheek, another failed attempt to receive affection.
“I'll call you later.”
“Alright.”
And as simply as that, she's gone.
But today will be different, he thinks.
Today he doesn't have to work and he has all day to prepare himself for the inevitable.
He doesn't want to. Oh