"You're lucky."

He always hears these lines as if it was his daily supplement to his deteriorating soul.

“You’re lucky.”

These lines always seem to haunt him. It echoes inside his mind even when he’s asleep.

“You’re lucky.”

He opens his eyes and comes face to face with her. The love of his life, the little girl he once promised to marry.

“I am not.”

“You are, Hakyeon. You’re lucky.”

Lucky? He scoffs at the peculiar word, mocking it with great animosity.

Lucky is when you get to enjoy the beauty of outdoors, where you can marvel over how bright the sun looked, when you can have the chance to make friends, and attend school and complain about how boring a lesson was. Lucky is when you can get to see what life has to offer. But what is life to someone who has little time left.

“It’s crap.” He says, turning his head to the other direction and ignoring her heart piercing tears.

"What is crap?"

"My luck is crap."

"Hakyeon-"

He immediately faces her, jaw suddenly hardening from too much annoyance.

“If I’m lucky what am I doing here! If I’m lucky why am I about to die! Why do I have these ing wires stuck on my body and this heart monitor beeping and telling me how slow my heartbeat is getting! Answer me!”

She widens her eyes, surprised at his attitude. Hakyeon sighs and bows his head, guilt starting to form inside.

"Suyeon, I'm going to die."

"No. Hakyeon no, you're not going to die you just have to believe that the doctors are gonna make yo-"

"I heard what you were talking about. I know everything." 

Her body straightens up, clearly surprised on what she just heard.

"Acute Promyelocytic Leukemia huh?" he said taunting her even more.

"Hakyeon, stop."

"I'm lucky for having APL? You have got to be kidding me."

"Hakyeon, please stop."

"My life is bull, Suyeon."

"The doctors said you could only live for 5 years! But look at you now! You're 24 Hakyeon! And you're gonna be 25 soon! Please just....... trust in yourself."

He turns away from her, looks across the window full of rows and rows of rice paddies.

"I don't know, Suyeon. I don't.......... really know......."

~

She wakes up and rubs her eyes. Someone was shaking her rigidly.

"Suyeon!" someone whispered. Her ears perked up. It could only belong to.....

"Hakyeon? Why are you standing? Go back to bed it's 3 am!" she scream whispered.

The room was dark, only the light from the moon illuminates the room.

She looks into his eyes, the moon shining on one half of his face, creating shadows on his smile. She felt butterflies fluttering inside her stomach.

"Suyeon?" he calls, reeling her back to reality.

Before she can even mention his name or even scold him, she finds herself being dragged away from the hospital room, and sooner the hospital itself.

"Where are we going?"

"We're gonna watch something amazing and if you don't hurry up we will miss it."

They ran and ran, boots splashing over the muddy road until they arrive at a big open space filled with people.

"What's........"

"It's a Lantern Festival. Come on, I know some place where we can get the best view." he said.

He begins to run but comes to a halt, coughing rather harder than before. Suyeon looks at him in worry.

"Maybe we should go back......"

"No!" he screams. Realizing he once again scared her, he sighs heavily and smiles, trying to calm her down. "I'm fine. I need to show you something."

She doesn't know why but whenever she sees his determined gaze, it always makes her give in and trust him, no matter how dangerous their situation was.

She nodds slowly and smiles, pulling Hakyeon a little and making him show the way.

They went on top of a hill and from there, they can see the people slowly preparing to launch small hot air balloons made of paper.

Maybe because she was cautious as to what attitude he showed earlier, so she sits a little far from where he was.

The pointy grass feels ticklish under their soft hands.

Hakyeon glances at her and notices how distant she was. He shakes his head, chuckling a little.

"Come here. I want to hug you while watching the laterns." he said, reaching out both of his arms.

She shakes her head no and smiles cautiously, feeling a little intimidated.

He sighs a little and pulls her hand, surprising her a bit.

"Come here. Please."

She gives in and slowly scoots over to him. He wraps his arms around her slender waist and leans his chin on her right shoulder.

"I'm sorry. For what I acted earlier." he confessed.

"It's okay Hakyeon. I know how stressed you are, and now you know what's wrong with your body it just......... I can't do anything to make you feel better."

"But of course you can. You're making me feel better by staying by my side. To be honest, I already know that my condition isn't at it's best since I became 13. I already predicted that I will get worse in the future. Sure, my parents they never tell me anything. But I already know. I'm sick. I'm dying."

"No Hakyeon. You're not gonna die."

"But my illness proves I will. Have you heard of people surviving APL?"

"But you might be the first person to-"

"Suyeon, listen to me." he made her face him. He can see her eyes slowly tearing up.

"I may be away, and I may not be with you physically, but just remember I will always be with you. I'm in your heart. And you're in mine."

She closes her eyes, letting the pain and anguish take over her body. She sobs hardly, bowing her head because of embarrassment.

"Hakyeon I don't think......... I don't think I can live without you......"

"Yes you can. And you will. For me."

He slowly lifts her head and kisses her on the lips, one that is full of love and sincerity and urgency, as if he was out all the pain she was feeling and transferring it into his own body.

Her lips trembled as she feels him kissing him. Will we ever kiss like this again? Will I be able to kiss him in front of God?

They retract a few minutes later, noticing that the lanterns are slowly  floating in the air.

He snuggles his face on her neck and kisses it lightly, making her giggle despite of the tears that seem to flow endlessly.

"You give me feelings that I'm not really sure what to do with, but I sort of like it."

"What?"

"I love you, Suyeon."

That was all it took to stop the tears, to lessen the pain in her heart. 3 beautiful words was all it took.

"I love you more."

"I love you most."

The night ended with another kiss, sealed with a bunch of I love yous, I love you mores and I love you mosts.

~

"Happy Birthday, Hakyeon." she whispered in his ear.

Slowly, his eyes flutter open and with a small smile lingering on his lips he mouthed a thank you.

She nodds in understanding, knowing that Hakyeon couldn't answer properly due to lack of energy. She never feels afraid anymore though. She knows he will always be with him no matter what.

"I brought you flowers! And a cake! But since you can't eat cake, here are a bunch of fruits!" she laughed as he rolls his eyes.

He slowly gets up, making her run to him immediately.

"What are you doing! My god Hakyeon!"

Hakyeon slowly takes off his oxygen mask and chuckles a little, followed by heaps of coughs.

"I.......... wanted to give........... you some........thing......" he said, panting a little bit.

"Me? Why? But it's your birthday Hakyeon, I should be the one-"

He blocks with his bony cold fingers and opens the drawer beside his hospital bed.

He pulls up a red ribbon, all too familiar to her.

"Su........ Suyeon....." he began, as he takes his hand and slowly wraps the little ribbon around her ring finger.

"It was........ because of this that we....... met......... So I want......... to be able to end it with this......... too....."

She gulped. End? Does this mean he's breaking up with her?

"Marry me, Suyeon."

She audibly gasps as he finishes the ribbon up, tying a little bow in the middle.

"I will. And I'm not afraid of the future anymore. Because honestly Hakyeon, if I could be with anyone, I'd still choose you."

He looks up at her radiant face and stares at her beautiful smile. He smacks his pale lips and pulls the back of her neck, making them kiss a little bit.

"I love you, Hakyeon."

"I love you more."

"I love you most......."

~

She runs inside the store, too frantic to even apologize to the people she didn't realize she was bumping into.

She fixes herself, forgetting that she almost ran for 5 miles so her hair wasn't at it's best condition.

Suddenly, a man, who looks a little older than her, with a tan complexion and frail appearance. He seemed..... excited to be there.

"Uh, sir? Do you need anything?" she asks apprehensively.

He finally noticed there was another person inside the store and he almost jumped, turning red afterwards.

She fully understands what was happening. Clearly he knew this was a girl's store and it seemed odd for a man to come here at this hour.

"I.......... I want to buy some chap sticks for my dry lips." he said as he cutely points to them.

She giggles a little at his confused face and shows him the aisle of lipsticks and lip balms and chap sticks, before leaving him alone to choose what he wanted in peace.

A little while later he emerges from the aisle and carefull walks toward the cashier, not making eye contact to her.

"And that will be 16,000 won."

He hands her the money and finally notices her hair in an uproar. He chuckles, catching her attention.

"Why?"

He shakes his head and takes a red ribbon from his pocket.

He calls her near, to which she obeyed, and tied her hair using the ribbon. He leans onto her ear and whispered.

"When we see each other again, give me back my ribbon okay?"

~

"I met him at the shop where I work at. And he gave me a ribbon. He told me I should give it back to him when we meet each other again. And surprisingly, we met a few weeks later, at this very same hospital where we are now. I never thought it would happen but we shared a lot of good and bad memories together. We have been in a strong relationship for 6 years, and it's been a long and fun ride filled with obstacles. Just last week he asked for my hand in marriage and I said yes. And even if we aren't officially husband and wife yet, I know that the vows we told each other came from the bottom of my heart. I love him. More than anything. If I could donate my own body so he wouldn't be weak anymore, so he won't feel the sickness slowly eating him alive, I would badly do it. Hakyeon, I feel like everything in my life has led me to you. My choices, my heartbreaks, my regrets. Everything. And when we're together, my past seems worth it. Because if I had done one thing differently, I might never have met you. I love you. Always have, always will. And goodbye....."

She gets out from the platform and wipes the last remains of her tears, smiling as she looks out of the window, into the clear blue sky, and wonders if Hakyeon heard everything she said.

"I love you."

"I love you more."

"I love you most.........."