Yang Seungho’s POV

I remember the moment I saw her gracefully walk into the classroom; her silk-like soft black hair was a mess from the breeze outside, her skirt was slightly wrinkled from the book bag that hung over her shoulder, and her blush pink cardigan flowed nicely against her small body frame. I watched her walk towards the teacher with observant eyes, unconsciously furrowing my brows when I saw the teacher lecture her for being late. Again. She was always late to class. I sighed the moment she lowered her head as she walked down the aisle to take a seat beside me. I contemplated on whether I should try to talk to her again or not. I remember the first day I tried to speak to her but that was obviously not successful… I gathered up all my courage and turned towards her. Smiling brightly, I said,

“Hello! I believe I introduced myself to you on the first day, but you might have forgotten… My name is Seungho. Yang Seungho!” I chuckled nervously to myself for my silly introduction. Again...

She turned her head towards me and gave me a slight smile. I cocked my head a bit in slight confusion as I continued to watch for her response to my introduction… nothing. As expected. I heavily sighed as I lowered my head and turned to face the front again. Thoughts and reasons constantly flowed through my head. ‘Why is she like this?’ ‘How come she never responds to me… or anyone…?’ ‘Why is this girl so mysterious…’ I continued to struggle through these endless questions of this mysterious girl sitting beside me until the teacher disrupted my train of thoughts.

“YANG SEUNGHO!” the teacher yelled my name for the fifth time apparently. I jumped in shock from the sudden interruption.

“Y-y-yes…?” I stuttered out, still alarmed from the loudness of her voice.

“I asked the class to get together with a partner for this project, but why are you still sitting there staring blankly at the wall?” she looked questioningly at me with her brows raised.

“Oh… I’m sorry. I spaced out…” I quickly apologized, hoping that she would forget about the incident.

“Quickly figure out what you are doing. Don’t make Hanna wait for you any longer.” she blurted out before walking towards the front to sit at her desk. ‘Hanna…? Who is that…?’ I asked myself as I continued to sit there in thought.

“Yang Seungho! Talk to Kim Hanna about the project!! Why do you look like a lost puppy? She is sitting right next to you!” the teacher yelled at me, from her desk, in front of the whole class, causing my face to turn bright red in embarrassment.

My eyes widened in astonishment as I turned my head to look at ‘Kim Hanna’. I think my eyes were about to pop out of my eye sockets. All this time I have been introducing myself to her trying to find out her name (or who she was), but she never said anything in reply. I continued to stare at Hanna in awe. I finally know her name. Kim Hanna. There was such a beautiful ring to her name. I smiled to myself, probably looking like an idiot, but I couldn’t care less at this moment.

Kim Hanna’s POV

I carefully turned my head to look at him after the teacher yelled at him from across the classroom. I stared at him in amusement as I saw him smiling to himself like an idiot. ‘What is he doing…?’ I thought to myself. Why is he smiling so broadly when the teacher just yelled at him… ‘He is so strange… why are boys so weird.’ I sighed to myself as I turned my head back towards the front. I stared blankly at the wall above the chalkboard. I could not help but think back to the time I was last sitting in this seat, in this classroom, with him. I sighed again as I lowered my head. The memories came flashing back again. My head started to hurt now. I did not want to remember. I felt my eyes start to water as the memories came without my permission.

-Flashback-

“Kim Hanna! What are you doing sitting there so innocently? Come and eat lunch with me!” he smiled vividly as he walked over and took my hand in his.

“Hey… Kwon Jiyong… what do you think you are doing? I still have a lot of work to do…” I refuted as I tried to pull my hand out of his light grasp.

“Hanna, I will not allow you to skip another meal. You must eat in order to have energy to keep studying.” he gently took my hand in his again as he attempted to pull me out of my chair and towards the door.

“Jiyong… I really need to study. My parents will be really angry if I don’t make it into the school.” I tried to beg him to let go of my hand so I could study again.

“Kim Hanna, I am going to get angry with you. I know your parents want you to get into college, but skipping meals to study is ridiculous. You are going out to eat with me today and that is final.” I did not dare to argue with him because I knew full well that he would get upset with me again. I sighed as I allowed him to take my hand and walk me towards the car.

“Come on! Cheer up love! You’re going out to eat lunch with your lovely boyfriend on a beautiful day like this and you are worried about your grades still?!” he pouted as he looked at me.

I giggled to myself as I stared at his adorable face. Whenever he pouted, his cheeks definitely made him look like a chipmunk. “Okay, okay… let’s have a splendid time outside of school-work and stress and grades!” I smiled cheerfully as he opened the passenger seat door for me. I sat down and looked at him as he gently closed the door for me before retreating to the driver’s seat.

~~~~~~~

I squint my eyes because of the blinding white lights. Dizziness overcame me when i tried to move my body. It took a couple of minutes for me to regain my consciousness. As soon as I felt my senses coming back to me, I immediately scanned my surroundings. My heart immediately sank. I regretted what I saw.

“KWON JIYONG!!!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. I felt warm fluids roll down my cheeks. I did not want to believe it. I did not want to believe anything. I continued to cry as if I had the entire ocean inside my body. He smiled brightly at me. I hate him. I really hate him. How could he manage to smile his beautiful smile in a situation like this? He kept smiling at me as if nothing had happened, stretching his hand out towards me in the process. I forced my aching arm out to hold onto his hand.

“Hanna… it’s going to be okay… don’t worry about me, okay? Stop crying... I will always be here for you. I love you.” I could hear his faint and raspy voice try to calm me down; however, I was not calm. I was crying liters of tears.

“Kwon Jiyong… you promised…” I felt my body heat up. I started to get dizzy again. I could not feel anything anymore. I felt completely numb. The taste of blood was on my lips as I felt warm liquids flow down onto my face, but I could not be bothered. I tried to get to him. I attempted to get up. I needed to be with him… but next thing I knew, I out.

-End Flashback-

“Hanna? Kim Hanna! Earth to Hanna!!” I automatically snapped out of my thoughts the moment I heard my name being called. I turned slowly to look at the boy next to me. I stared at him as he looked at me in confusion.

“Hey… are you okay? Why are you crying?” I forgot that I had been crying. I silently cursed myself as I quickly wiped the tears that fell from my eyes with my hands. A sad chuckle escaped from my lips when I looked down at my wet, moist hands. These hands. He used to hold onto these hands tightly. He always intertwined our hands together, telling me how our hands fit each others’ perfectly. He always believed that it was a sign... telling us that we were meant to be together. But now what? He left me here alone in this cruel and lonesome world... with the painful memories that constantly keep replaying in my head. I looked up at the boy next to me when I was done. His face was full of concern and worry. Something I’ve seen way too many times this past year. I continued to stare at him. I didn’t dare to say a word to him, or anyone else, as a matter of fact. I had no motivation to do anything anymore. I don’t know why I am even alive, to be honest. I want to just be dead. I want to be with Jiyong. I don’t want to be sitting here in this classroom for God knows how many hours a day. I don’t care about anything, so why am I here…?

Yang Seungho’s POV

“Hey… are you okay? Why are you crying?” I asked her, despite knowing her response. I looked at her with concern and worry as she silently wiped away her tears. I sighed knowing she would never tell me her reasons. I started to become frustrated. I wanted to help her. I want to be her friend. I want her to be able to rely on me, to depend on me. I want her to know that she has someone who cares about her. Why won’t she just open up to me already?! I sighed as I continued to look at her in empathy. ‘Why is she crying…?’

“So… I figured out what to do for our project..” I finally gathered up the courage to tell her after her little breakdown. I looked at her for a response. Nothing. As usual. I sighed heavily. My head was starting to hurt. I rubbed my temples, trying to calm myself down a bit. I was losing my temper…

Kim Hanna’s POV

I tried to calm myself down after my little breakdown. I looked at him again. He was rubbing his temples. ‘Is he upset…?’ I sighed. I did not know what to do and I did not want to interact with him much… I continued to stare at him as I waited for him to interact with me again. Eventually, my mind and heart raced back to the memories of the past. I started to become upset again. I could feel the tears slowly swell up in the corner of my eyes. I looked around the classroom at everyone around me, trying hard to contain myself and my emotions.

Yang Seungho’s POV

I stopped rubbing my temples and looked up at her again. She was looking around the classroom, distracted maybe? But I caught a glimpse of her shining eyes. They were watery again. I sighed, infuriated that she would not allow me to help her. Still. I was starting to become frustrated again. ‘Just what in the world am I doing wrong?! Why won’t she open up to me and allow me to help her. I don’t understand. What is so wrong with me that she refuses my help?!’ I lost my temper when a classmate of ours came up to ask me if he could borrow a pencil.

“Go find your own pencil somewhere else!” I screamed at him. My eyes were burning with a fiery passion. “WHY DO YOU NEED MY PENCIL FOR?! Don’t you have other people you could ask?! Why do you always have to ask me?!” I felt as though steam was coming out of my ears. I was heating up. My face felt as if it were on fire.

“Uh… okay… Sorry Seungho… I was just asking because you are normally a calm and caring person who always shares…” the kid looked nervously at me as he slowly backed away, tripping over his own feet in the process. He’s probably scared to death from my sudden explosion. I looked towards the teacher and she gave me a disapproving look as she shook her head in disappointment. I sighed as I turned back to look at her. She stared at me with wide eyes, clearly bewildered at my sudden attitude change.

Kim Hanna’s POV

I looked at the boy named Seungho in astonishment. He was always so calm and helpful to whomever, whenever… but why did he suddenly explode like that? I continued to stare at him with wide eyes. I could not believe my eyes, let alone my own ears. ’Did I hear correctly…?’ I asked myself. Did Seungho just yell at someone? Seungho is always so loving and caring towards me. He always offered a helping hand, but I always refused his help. I don’t exactly know why I keep rejecting him… I just feel that I can never be the same again after Jiyong left me. I sighed. I felt sorry for Seungho, he probably feels as if it is his responsibility to take care of me and give me the feeling of happiness again…

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to scare you like that. I just… I’m so infuriated and frustrated right now. I want to help you. I have been offering to help you all year, but you keep rejecting me. I want to be your friend. I want to be there for you. Why won’t you just accept me?” he suddenly said to me. My eyes widened the moment he spoke his feelings. The one thing I feared most. The one thing I had been trying to avoid all year. I sighed as I turned to look at him again. He gave me a small smile, probably hoping that I would actually respond to him this time. His eyes glistened with hope as I opened my mouth to say something.

“I’m sorry… but I would just prefer to be alone.” I stared at his facial expressions one last time before I turned my head towards the front again to stare blankly at the wall above the chalkboard. I heard him sigh deeply and heavily. I closed my eyes and tried to shut out the world around me as the tears that were threatening to fall from my eyes finally fell. I sighed as they rolled down my soft cheeks. ‘Finally I realize that I am nothing without you. Like the tides my heart is broken. Like the wind my heart is shaking. Like the smoke my love faded away. It never erases like a tattoo. I sigh deeply and the ground shakes. My heart is full of dust. Say goodbye.’

PRESENT DAY

Yang Seungho’s POV

Despite her unresponsiveness, I wanted to confess my love to her that day. Now that I look back at it, why would I have even bothered to? She kept rejecting me. She ignored my little, yet sincere, actions to try to interact with her. Should I have been more straightforward? Should I have approached her better? I should have tried harder to make her love me… but why didn’t I…? Was it because I was afraid? The thought of that day brought pain to my heart. What was the use in trying to love someone who would never look at you the same way? I did not want to think about this unrequited love anymore. ‘I hope for a vain expectation but now it’s useless. Alone in the night, I erase my thoughts a hundred times. Don’t look back and leave. I have no regrets from loving you. You’re my heart, say goodbye.’