It’s been three days since the incident at Jonghyun's apartment happened and Kibum is still a crying mess. He refuses to get out of the bed or even eat. Hyeongseop is worried at first but he's growing annoyed at Kibum as days passed because he just couldn't stop breaking down every time but he never asked Kibum why. He knows. He knows it too well.

Kibum thinks that the other knew the reason why he's such in a horrible state. But he just chose to stay silent and leave him all by himself. And Kibum appreciates that. Because that's what he really needs at this time to be alone and be with the comfort of his blanket.

*******************

When Kibum broke up with Hyeongseop a week later, he wasn't a bit surprised. He saw it coming. He never really expected their relationship to be a solid one, let alone to make it last just like Jonghyun and Kibum's relationship.

He knows that they aren't in love with each other. They just needed each other to fulfill their desires and Kibum was just so stupid to realize all of that, when he left Jonghyun to be with him.

He was just confused and craving for something new and Hyeongseop being a playful one gave him what he wanted.

He didn't say to the younger that his decision of leaving Jonghyun is stupid. Why? because he wanted Kibum to figure it out by himself.

*****************

When Kibum moved out from Hyeongseop's apartment, he looked for his own place. It's kinda far from the place where he used to live but it’s still in the city. He chose the place because he didn't want to see the people in his past anymore and he won't deny that.

It's not that he hates them. It's because he's still so in love with Jonghyun and he is so scared to see him at random times with the new person who makes him happy. No he couldn't bear that. He would hate himself more than he hates it now because of his stupid self and ridiculous choices.

**************

Jonghyun and Yumi eventually got into a relationship. He still thinks that he's not deeply in love with her. Not yet. But he knows that time will come. For sure other men are going to be more than happy to be with a girl like her and Jonghyun thinks that he's lucky that he’s the one who’s with her.

Yumi is an amazing girl; she's beautiful not just outside but also in the inside. She's lovely and caring. She makes him happy and that's what’s important.

****************

It was Jonghyun and Yumi's seventh month anniversary when Jonghyun asked her to move in with him. He wasn't really thinking, he just proposed the idea and Yumi was reluctant at first but she agreed after a few days of thinking. The first 2 months of being together was amazing. Jonghyun thought. And he now believes that he's starting to fall for her a little deeper. He is happy that he found a girl that can make him happy after what happened in his past.

He's still lucky after all.

******************

Kibum realizes after four months of living in his new apartment that he wants his old house or rather his and Jonghyun's old house back. If others will learn about his idea they would tell him that he had completely gone insane that it was just pure torture for himself but he didn't care, if he couldn't get Jonghyun back in his life he would at least try to bring their old memories back and cherish it until the end.

He will take care of their house like he promised before.

So he worked hard for the past months to have it back and luckily no one haven't bought it yet, Kibum thought that its really meant to be theirs or his, as cliché as it sounds.

He did his best to redecorate the old house but without erasing the remnants of Jonghyun, he painted the walls a little brighter than it used to, added new furniture to not make it seem empty. But not a week passed by, Kibum started to break down and thinks that going back to this house is the worse idea that he ever had aside from cheating on Jonghyun and leaving him, every corner of the house just reminds him of Jonghyun.

Jonghyun cooking in the Kitchen, Jonghyun singing in the shower, Jonghyun sitting on the front porch writing music, Jonghyun and him on that exact black leather couch cuddling and laughing at each other's silliness, Jonghyun and him making love on the exact bed he's lying right now.

Kibum is tired of crying every day and every night, he wants to stop but he couldn't stop himself at all. He's so lonely and he hates himself so much. He wants to end all the pain he's feeling at that moment but he doesn’t have the strength to end it all because he is a coward.

***************

Taemin, Jinki and Minho still calls Kibum whenever they have time but it was like there is an unspoken rule to never talk about the past and Kibum thinks that he's okay with that. He can't take any torture anymore and he doesn’t want his terrible decisions to slap him on his face and mock him more.

Taemin though, senses that Kibum isn't in a good shape and he knows that he's still taking everything very hard and he couldn't bear to see his friend still suffering while Jonghyun is now in the process of moving on and possibly slowly forgetting about Kibum.

So he told Kibum to seek for help. A psychiatrist would help him a lot to cope with everything. Kibum at first is kinda off to the idea. He told Taemin that he's okay and he's not going insane but when Taemin told him "Kibum, you can't fool me. I know you too well, you can't hide anything from me.. I care a lot about you and I can't bear to see you like this. Please consider it" Kibum cries hard, his sobs are so heart shattering to hear over the phone and if only Taemin can go to the older in an instant and hug him he would. But he can't. So he just settled with whispering soothing words on the other line to a sobbing Kibum.

Kibum calls him the next day and said that he did consider Temin’s request and made an appointment with the psychiatrist that weekend.

"Thank you, Taemin." he mumbled softly,

Taemin felt relief wash over him that moment and he couldn't stop himself from smiling.

******************

Kibum went to his appointment that weekend, At first he's uncomfortable to tell the woman in front of him about the things that are bothering him but the doctor was really good in making him comfortable, so he just spilled everything out, he did not realize that he was now a crying mess and the other reassures him that he will be able to move on if he will only accept everything that happened and forgive himself. After all, acceptance is the key for everything.

However Kibum thinks he will never forgive himself but he promised himself that he will try to.

The woman told him to get a pet, a dog. Because dogs are a good company, the doctor told him that it will help him a lot in moving on and making him happy.

He was a bit hesitant at first because he can't even take care of himself nowadays, let alone a dog but then he considers. Maybe she's right. A little cute ball of fluff for a company wouldn’t hurt anyway.

***************

"Thank you.." Kibum smiles a little and hugs Taemin. The younger boy smiles back at him, eyes turning into crescents. He nuzzles Kibum's hair and inhales his scent. He smells like strawberries as always.

"You're welcome hyung" The older man pulls back and smiles warmly. But you can still see the tiredness in his eyes. "So, I decided to get a dog. As the doctor suggested.. you should visit sometime, comme des is adorable!" Kibum exclaimed and laughed a little.

"Yea.. I will." Taemin replied and chuckles. They sat down again on the chair, across from each other.

Both of them fell silent, just enjoying each other’s company. Kibum almost forgot the feeling of enjoying a coffee in a lazy day with a friend like Taemin. But then, a thought came to his mind. He doesn't want to ask about him as much as possible, he doesn't want to sound more pathetic than he already is but he just can't let it pass. He misses Jonghyun so much and he's desperate to see him again.

"Have you seen him or talked to him lately?" Kibum asked in a quiet, unsure voice. And Taemin almost missed it if he wasn't paying much attention.

Taemin did not know if it's a good idea to answer Kibum. He looks at him with furrowed brows, contemplating how to word what he's going to say.

"Yea, he went to the cafe the other day.... he was with Yumi... they just hang out there for a while...." Taemin explained almost stopping the words from coming out his mouth. He looks at Kibum carefully, trying to read the older man’s face. He can feel the sudden change of Kibum's mood. The air became thick and heavy.

Kibum just smiles a little and nods. "I need to get going, comme des is waiting for me in the pet salon.. I’ll see you around."

"Kibum..." Taemin looks at the older with concerned eyes, grabbing his arm. Kibum stood up and kisses Taemin's cheek. "Don't worry. I'm okay." He said quietly. Reassuring that younger. "I'll call you. Okay?"

Taemin just nods and sighs. "Yea.. Take care Bum.." with that, Kibum turns his back and walks away.

Kibum thought he can now handle hearing things about Jonghyun and Yumi but he was wrong. He still feels like dying. The thought of them being together still feels like someone is stabbing him repeatedly on his chest. He feels suffocated. He feels like screaming, feels like crying and throwing a tantrum. But he knows that those things will not change the fact that he cheated on Jonghyun and left him with another man. It will also not change the fact that Jonghyun is now happy with Yumi.

******************

Jonghyun was excited to go home, he promised Yumi that he will go home early and cook dinner for her, he can remember how her eyes lit up when he told her that he will prepare dinner for her and he couldn't stop smiling at the thought of her smiling face, her cute dimples and her puffy cheeks.

Wait.

Yumi doesn't have any dimples... and her cheeks aren’t puffy.

It's Kibum who does.

Suddenly, Jonghyun was reminded of Kibum, his smile, his obnoxious laugh, his habit of touching the tip of nose, his habit of hiding his face on his hands whenever he's embarrassed, his cute dimples that he loves to look at and his soothing deep voice..

He shook his head and bit his lip. No matter how hard he shrug it off, he knows he miss him. But no, how can you still think of someone who cheated on you? Who left you with another man? Who made your life miserable? After all you've been through?

No Jonghyun, you have Yumi. And she's all you could ever ask for.

***************

It’s Sunday and this is one of those days when Jonghyun would take his time to just sit on the sofa or on his bed to write songs. Since his high school days he already loves writing songs and composing music. It was his dream to become a singer. A musician. He always feels comfort whenever he's doing the thing that he loves the most. It relaxes him so much. It makes him happy.

But Yumi has other plans. That exact same day, she decided to be loud and annoying.

Yumi was listening to one of the girl group songs with speakers on, sometimes dancing along and giggling loudly, she keeps on bothering Jonghyun, pulling him up. Trying to make him stand up and dance with her.

"Jonghyun come one! Don't be a kill joy!" Yumi whined and pouted. Jonghyun thinks that her face looked ridiculous with a pout.

Jonghyun sighed and rolled his eyes. He adjusted his seat on the sofa. "But i am writing a song Yumi, it's been on my mind for a long time. I need to let this out."

Yumi chuckled sarcastically. "Oh yea. I forgot you're a frustrated musician." She turned around and made the volume of the speaker higher and continues to dance along with the song.

Jonghyun was surprised by her response. He did not expect that Yumi will just spit out an insensitive comment. He feels like someone just pinched his heart not in a good way. He felt his eyes watering. His hold on his pen got impossibly tight. Before he burst out and argue with Yumi, he decided to stand up and lock himself in the room. And avoid her for the rest of the day.

Kibum will never do that. Kibum will never say such thing. He was always so supportive of Jonghyun in everything he does especially when it comes to writing music. He can still remember how Kibum will lay his head on his lap or nuzzle on his side and keep him company while he's writing a song. How the younger will wait patiently until he finishes his work or how the younger will prepare him coffee and snacks at times like this.

Or how Kibum will occasionally kiss his cheeks and nuzzle it to comfort him, whenever he will sigh out of frustration because he feels like his work is not going the way he wanted to.

No matter how much he denies it. Yes. He misses Kibum.

He misses his Kibummie so much.

****************

"Jonghyun, i just noticed... Why do always cook galbijjim without carrots in it?" Yumi asked with her questioning eyes.

"Huh?" Jonghyun furrowed his brows, pursing his lips. He stared at the dish he cooked in front of him. "You don't like carrots Yumi." Jonghyun answered, in a matter of fact voice.

Yumi chuckled sarcastically, rolling her eyes. Jonghyun looks at her and thinks that she look so annoying right now. That her habit of chuckling sarcastically is getting on his nerves. That she doesn't look adorable whenever she do that.

Unlike him.

Unlike Kibum.

And it's annoying the out of him.

"Who said I don't like carrots? I love carrots Jonghyun. It's my favorite." She explained, her eyebrows rising. She's looking at him like he's accusing him of something.

Jonghyun looks back at her, studying her face. And it clicked.

Ah.. It's Kibum who hates carrots so much.

Jonghyun! You’re with Yumi now. Not with Kibum. He mentally reminded himself.

"I'm sorry Yumi.. I'll put some next time." He smiles a little at her and looks down at his food.

He just lost his appetite and he just wanted to be alone at that moment.

Far from Yumi.

And that's what he did; he told her that he will just visit her mom that night. But he lied.

He went to Hangang Park and stayed there until 4 in the morning and let his mind wander endlessly.

*******************

Jonghyun realizes after ten months of dating Yumi, that there are a lot of things about her that annoys him so much.

He hates how Yumi has the habit of not finishing her food or how she doesn't close the lid of the toothpaste after using it. She also hates doing the dishes, or how she always forgets to put the food away making it spoil.

Jonghyun also hates how messy his apartment especially his room became after Yumi moved in. Her clothes are scattered everywhere and it pisses him so much.

She also has a bad habit of using his shirts and sweaters without his permission. But then he thinks, Kibum always does that but he never felt annoyed about it. As a matter of fact, he loves seeing the younger boy in his clothes. Kibum looks adorable with his favorite pink sweater anyway.

He also realizes that making love with Kibum is so much better than with Yumi. He knows it's rude to compare and he feels guilty about it. But he can't help but to notice things.

He noticed that Kibum's whimpers and moans are like music to his ears unlike Yumi's annoying loud ones. He also noticed how Yumi likes to scratch his back if she's coming to her high unlike Kibum who will just grab his shoulder and pull his hair lightly, looking at him with so much love, biting his lower lip and kissing him deeply.

He also thinks that Kibum always made sure to uplift him, to support him in everything he does. He always made sure that Jonghyun is happy and feels loved and secured.

Though, he doesn't understand why Kibum cheated on him, he still thinks that Kibum is the best thing that ever happened to his life.

**************

Jonghyun is getting frustrated. He's getting pissed at little things lately; Yumi is getting on his nerves more and more and it's making him lose his mind. He hates himself for being like this. He hates himself for comparing her to Kibum. He hates himself for missing Kibum.

So he decided to take things off of his mind by going to a coffee shop far from his home, he doesn't feel like going to Taemin's coffee shop. He wanted to be alone so that he can think.

He settles for an Iced Americano and a waffle. He's not really hungry but the waffle with strawberries and whipped cream looks appetizing.

Strawberries.

Kibum's hair smells like strawberries.

"Stop thinking about him! Damn it!" He mentally scolded himself.

He sat at the far end corner of the cafe; the place is small and cozy. There are only few people in it. Thankfully, it relaxes him.

He took a sip of his Iced Americano and took a bite on his waffle. He sighs in content. It's good. He thought to himself. Then he watches the people go by in front of the store, there's a mom with her son, with a balloon in his hand, walking happily. He chuckles. They look so cute.

And then there's a guy busy talking on his phone. There are also a couple of high school girls chatting happily.

And then there's another skinny guy with black hair, his pale skin shining under the sun, shoulders slumped. He's holding a brown bag full of groceries and a dog in his other hand.

Jonghyun stares at him and thought that he looks familiar. The guy went inside the coffee shop, on his way to the cashier, his expression on his face look so sad. He look so vulnerable. And Jonghyun felt like his heart was pinch. He must be having a hard time. Jonghyun thought to himself.

He couldn’t stop himself from looking at the guy, he studies him closely. His heart skipped a beat when he realizes that the man in front of him is Kim Kibum.

His Kibummie.

*********************

A/N

So I decided to continue this story, it has been on my mind for a long time now. I originally planned for this on being a one shot however I feel like I don’t want to end it just like that. But this will not be a long fic, probably there will only be 3 chapters in total.

I know that all of us are devastated right now because of what happened. I miss him so much. I just want to see him again. But :( .. I really hope he’s now happy and resting well. Shawols, stay strong. Take care of yourself too.

Shout out to Rellamellow for giving me the idea to continue this fic :)

Comments are highly appreciated! 

-Lykkee