001

As Suzy strolled along the corridors of the music department, she heard a faint electric guitar melody in the distance. It was the music block, so it wasn’t uncommon to hear students practicing after school hours, but something about the melody gripped Suzy’s attention, directing her feet towards the source of the vague tune.

When Suzy finally identified the room from which the strangely captivating tune sounded, she halted her steps and stood quietly by the door, careful not to alert the guitarist of her presence. She stood there with her brows furrowed, pondering on why the melody stood out.

It was dark and intense, no doubt, but that’s nothing to fascinate upon; such melodies were common enough.

Suzy began to frown as she sank deeper into thought. There was something about the melody that she couldn’t put her finger on, which was really disturbing.

As the running notes resounded from the room and the piece ended with a hard smash of various notes, it suddenly dawned upon her: the melody didn’t sound like a single piece.

It sounded like an array of dismal tunes, mismatched and put together, yet emerging beautifully contorted. It felt almost uneasy to listen to, but somehow Suzy found herself longing for more. As the ring of the last notes faded into the atmosphere, Suzy absent-mindedly gave a light applause before she even realized it.

She bit her lower lip as she heard footsteps approaching the door. Meekly, she turned to look at the guitarist, who was then standing by her side.

Suzy held her breath. It’s him.

“Was that you?” He said.

“Huh?”

“The applause. It was you, wasn’t it?”

“Ah, yes!” Suzy broke into a smile upon realizing what he was referring to.

“Oh,” The boy gave a mild response and then walked back into the room without giving Suzy a second glance.

Suzy stared, a little dumbfounded, as he sat back down quietly and gazed intently at the music scores.

Seems like the rumours were true, after all.

Suzy scoffed lightly as she looked at his still figure. If she hadn’t just talked to him before, she’d have sworn he was nothing but a statue.

She walked into the room and sat down beside him.

The boy stirred ever so slightly, but returned to his still position seconds later.

“Whoever gave you permission to enter?” His words pierced her wounded pride like daggers.

“Whoever gave you permission to walk out on me like that?” She returned.

“I don’t even know you,” He pointed out.

“I can say the same. But can’t you even make an effort to be friendly?”

He scoffed, “Why bother?”

“Why not?”

Silence hung in the air for a few moments. Suzy thought he was actually going to reply, but he ignored her rebuttal and began scribbling something on the music score.

It was evening then, and the sun was just about to set, but there was still some light outside. Outside, that is, because the unfriendly guitarist hadn’t bothered pulling apart the thin curtains lining the windows.

Suzy got up from her seat and pulled the curtains apart a little, her lips parting slightly in mild satisfaction as light poured into the room. The guitarist got up immediately and pulled the curtains back on with much force.

“What are you doing?” He exclaimed.

“Just letting some light into the room. How can you see in this darkness?”

The boy’s face scrunched up and he said in a cold voice, “Go.”

“Why?” Suzy muttered under her breath, “What did I do wrong?”

“Just – Go,” He enunciated, with a look in his eyes which Suzy couldn’t comprehend.

“Fine. As you wish,” Suzy said and left the room promptly.

002

“Kim Myungsoo,” His teacher, Mr Park, addressed, “You are a very talented student.”

Myungsoo stared at him blankly, with no hint of expression on his face.

“But you’re still unable to score well. Do you know why?”

“Why?” Myungsoo said carelessly.

“Your music is much too pessimistic, with no variation in mood or tone. It is tastefully dark and intense, yes, but after three terms, you’d think we’d want more, don’t you?”

“This is just how it’s like. I don’t know how to change it, and quite honestly, I don’t want to.”

“You can still choose to play what you like, but this is a suggestion from us. It’s just what we think would be good for you.”

“Thank you, but I think I’ll remain this way.”

Mr Park sighed as Myungsoo walked away.

That student has always been a tough nut to crack.

003

As Suzy was making her way home again another day, she passed by the same corridors and heard the same familiar tune. She covered her ears and shut her eyes, but once she did, the haunting image of his eyes surfaced in her mind. Suzy noticed, in late realization, that the pair of eyes resembled an abyss of emptiness, almost like the boy himself, who enjoyed dwelling in desolation.

As the melody played on and Suzy’s thoughts circled around the mysterious boy, she found herself back in front of the room at the corner which she thought she’d never step into again. Yet, there she was, and there he was, his fingers dancing along the guitar strings. Rather than a smooth ballet dance, Suzy would say it looked more like a tough martial arts routine. The boy plucked the strings with no mercy, and rather than playing the guitar, it seemed more like he was releasing his vengeance (towards what, Suzy didn’t know, not yet).

She invited herself in and sat down on a chair beside him, watching as he played. His eyes were closed and his facial expression serene, in contrast to the strong emotions melded into the melody. When his eyelids flickered open and he saw her, there was just the slightest look of shock (if one could even call that minor widening of eyes and parting of lips as shocked) on his face.

“Why are you back again?”

“Your music has a sort of hypnotic quality to it.”

Myungsoo glanced at her for a while, and then focused his attention back on the music scores.

“Why do you always keep the curtains closed? The view outside is pretty nice.”

Silence.

Suzy scowled and walked up to the curtains again. Myungsoo observed her every action from the corner of his vision. She opened the curtains a little, such that a streak of light shined into the room but the view outside was still blocked.

Myungsoo didn’t make any response.

“Hey, why are you like that?” She said as she sat back down onto the chair.

“I just am. What do you want, exactly?”

“I want to know more about you. You’re… interesting.”

Myungsoo raised an eyebrow even as he continued flipping through the music scores.

“It’s interesting that you find me interesting. There’s nothing much that I do.”

“That’s precisely why you’re interesting. Do you know that the whole music faculty is talking about you?”

“Is that so?” Myungsoo scoffed, “They sure have nothing better to do.”

Suzy felt the chill from his words yet again. She’d like to think she was getting used to it.

She glanced down to the left-hand side of his uniform.

“Why don’t you wear your nametag?”

“I don’t like strangers knowing my name. I don’t like people calling me by name, and then acting like we’re so close just because they know my name, when in fact, we hardly know each other at all.”

“Everything has to start from somewhere. How do you know you won’t get close?”

“I don’t want to get close to anybody.”

Suzy frowned, “Why is that so?”

“Reasons.”

“Reasons,” Suzy repeated, wondering what he meant by that.

That evening, Suzy found out that the mysterious boy stayed at the street just next to hers.

005

“Kim Myungsoo,” She pronounced his name with a smile as she stood by the door.

Myungsoo turned around and eyed her.

“How did you know?” He spouted coldly.

“It wasn’t difficult. Turns out that you’re popular among teachers, as well.”

“You’re not intending on staying again, right?” Myungsoo said as he plucked a few guitar strings one by one.

“Ah, I knew you had wits,” Suzy said, turning to face him, “Yes, I am.”

“Seriously,” Myungsoo rolled his eyes, “why’re you wasting your time like that?”

“Uh, uh,” Suzy said while shaking a finger, “This is not a waste of time.”

She looked at him in the eyes. Both of their gazes were unfaltering – Myungsoo’s intense, Suzy’s honest. It stayed that way for a minute or two, until Suzy peeled her eyes away and spoke up again.

“I’m going to become friends with you.”

Myungsoo replied calmly, his head tilted at an angle as he looked at her, “Why don’t you give it up already? Do I look like someone with friends?”

“That’s why – I’m going to change that.”

It was quiet for a few moments, with just the sound of a whirring frequency in the room.

“Fine,” Myungsoo said as he returned his attention to the piano, “You’ll give up when you realize how boring I am.”

Suzy simply beamed, “I won’t!”

As Myungsoo continued experimenting with the guitar chords, changing some notes on the music score along the way, Suzy played on her violin.

She had also opened the curtains just a little more, and (thankfully) Myungsoo didn’t notice.

“Hey,” Myungsoo said some time after, “You’re a distraction.”

“Am I? I’m honoured.”

“What is wrong – ”

“Let’s play together. It matches.”

“No, it doesn’t. Your style is entirely different.”

“Sometimes, different things actually work well together.”

Sighing, Myungsoo eventually gave in to Suzy’s request. He was startled by how the two seemingly different tunes matched to give a new colour.

“You’re pretty talented. You could even tell how they could match,” Myungsoo commented.

“Oh, wow, is that a compliment from Mr. Unfriendly Guitarist?”

“I’m just stating the facts.”

“Are you about done? Let’s go home together.”

Myungsoo glared at Suzy without a word, but began packing his bag.

008

 “Don’t you have your own friends to hang out with?”

“I do. We did, in the afternoon.”

“There are many other productive things you could be doing.”

Suzy laughed, “Are you worrying about me?”

“No. It’s just that I’d rather you not disturb me, and I don’t want to disturb you as well.”

“Why don’t you ask me why I’m doing this?”

“Why?”

“Reasons.”

Myungsoo rolled his eyes and went back to playing the guitar.

009

“How do you do that? You do that all the time.”

“Do what?”

“Rolling your eyes,” Suzy said, and attempted to roll her eyes.

“I believe it comes naturally,” Myungsoo said as he looked at her.

A smile began to spread across his face.

“Oh, wow, are you smiling?”

Myungsoo scowled upon hearing her teasing and said, “You look really silly. Stop it.”

013

“Look!” Suzy exclaimed in excitement as she shoved a piece of paper in front of Myungsoo.

Myungsoo pushed the paper out of his face and said with an irritated tone, “What is it?”

“It’s an opportunity for our dreams to come true! A trip to France to learn from the most renowned musicians! Let’s go together!”

“That’s your dream, not mine. Go by yourself if you want to.”

Suzy scowled, “You don’t have to sound so mean. I was just sharing good things with you.”

“Well, I’m sorry I have no good things to share with you.”

“If you’re that interested, just sign up already,” Myungsoo commented, after a few minutes of observing the way Suzy smiled at the piece of paper.

“Hmm, you’re right. Maybe I should just sign up now. You sure you’re not interested?”

“No.”

“Okay,” Suzy said with a frown and then ran out of the room.

Every time Myungsoo practiced after school, Suzy turned up at that piano room without fail. Sometimes, she simply sat quietly and watched him. Other times, she would do her theory work or practice a little on her violin. When she was feeling bored, she would request for a duet with him again, and he would comply every single time, if only to please her.

Without realizing it, Myungsoo had gotten used to her presence. He noticed that she opened the curtains a little bit more every time, but something held him back from chiding her or closing up the curtains. He’d gotten comfortable. Too comfortable, perhaps.

014

Myungsoo was plucking the strings a little too aggressively that day, and Suzy glanced at him worriedly.

His eyebrows were creased as he played and his teeth, clenched. When he stopped playing, he was even panting a little as he stared ahead blankly.

“A-are you okay?” Suzy asked and reached out to touch his shoulders.

Myungsoo jolted back upon her touch and looked at her. It was the first time she’d seen his eyes filled with so much fear.

The next second, however, it was replaced with the familiar cold expression he usually wore.

“I’m fine,” He said.

Of course it hasn’t gone away. It was absent for quite a while and you complacently thought so, didn’t you? But sadly, it seems that it will be this way forever.

The mocking thought resounded in Myungsoo’s mind.

017

 “Let’s walk another route today; I’ll bring you,” Myungsoo said out of the blue as they were just starting on their usual route home, which stretched through a park.

“Why? I was craving for the ice cream at the park too.”

“Nothing, it’s just that I feel like taking another route today.”

Suzy stopped walking and turned to look at Myungsoo.

“Why won’t you tell me?” She said with her brows slightly furrowed, “There must be a reason.”

“Come on, let’s go the other way. There’s no particular reason, okay? Don’t you get that feeling sometimes too? Just the urge to do things and you don’t even know why?”

Myungsoo gestured for Suzy to follow him and began walking in another direction. Suzy frowned and tailed behind him with reluctant steps.

Myungsoo, you said you wouldn’t do this again. You have to stop, it’s too dangerous. You’ll only get others, and yourself, hurt again.

The voice at the back of Myungsoo’s head kept bugging him and he bit onto his lower lip.

“You’re hiding so much from me,” Suzy pouted as they walked along the dark alleys that one would never have thought of as a ‘better alternative route’, “Would you share if I did? I can tell you everything you want to know about me! Well, maybe not everything but almost.”

“You were the one who approached me in the beginning, I never wanted this.”

She was getting used to it, indeed.

“Why’re you saying things like that? I know that you don’t hate me.”

“That doesn’t mean I like you either.”

“That doesn’t mean we can’t become friends.”

“We can’t!” Myungsoo exclaimed, and then repeated in almost a whisper, “We can’t. There’s really a lot that you don’t know about me. I-I’m not someone you should be friends with.”

“Then why don’t you let me know? If you want to keep things secret, I won’t tell anybody else.”

Those same words.

Myungsoo’s eyes darkened as he thought of something that was ages ago but felt just like the day before.

“Myungsoo, what’s wrong?” Hoya asked, seeing Myungsoo staring blankly ahead with droplets of sweat trickling down the sides of his head.

“H-Hoya, I’m scared. I don’t like it,” Myungsoo stammered, on the verge of tears.

“What is it?” Hoya asked with a little smile and a gentle voice which made Myungsoo give him all his trust, “Tell me, I won’t tell anybody else.”

In the following week, people began shooting weird glares at Myungsoo. He heard his name everywhere that he got terrified of it. And Hoya – he never looked the same to Myungsoo again.

Myungsoo jerked back to reality and said, “For the last time, no.”

He looked to his side and Suzy wasn’t there.

He swerved around immediately and looked carefully though there seemed to be no one in sight.

Vaguely, he saw a little hand wave in the dark just a few meters from where he was. He did a little jog back and realized that Suzy had accidentally stepped into the drain by the side and fell.

“Why didn’t I see this happening?” He muttered under his breath.

“I didn’t either,” Suzy groaned as Myungsoo helped her up.

He grabbed a black handkerchief from his pocket, wet it with some water from his bottle and handed it to her.

“Wipe the wound, and then bandage it to stop the blood flow.”

“It’s nothing serious,” Suzy said.

“It’s nothing serious, if you know how to take care of yourself.”

“You are worrying about me,” Suzy smiled, even as she limped lightly along him.

Myungsoo made no reply and simply continued walking, glancing back at Suzy occasionally.

019

Suzy handed Myungsoo the black handkerchief, washed and dried.

“Thank you. You are actually a nice person.”

“Not really.”

Suzy didn’t say a thing and began to unpack, taking her theory workbook and stationery out of her bag.

“Please don’t come here anymore,” Myungsoo said.

“I really don’t mean to pry, but I hope you’d trust me enough to share with me. What is it that you’re so afraid of?”

“Nothing. Just stop coming.”

“Look. I can tell that something’s not right from the way you’re pushing me away. If you really disliked our meetings, you’d have gone to another room long ago.”

“But you’d still find me.”

“If you did, I’d know that you meant to avoid me. But you didn’t. You never minded my presence. So why this? Why now?”

Myungsoo hesitated for a few moments before saying, with his eyes on the ground, “You don’t understand. I’m a blackhole – I’ll drain all the sunshine out of you.”

And I might bring you misfortune.

“That’s just what you think,” Suzy retorted, “I think you’re a gem, buried in mud for so long that you forgot you could shine.”

“See, you’re doing the very thing I hate again.”

“What’s that?”

“Acting like you know me better than I do.”

“I didn’t mean to – ”

“There were times when I didn’t mean to as well, but I still hurt people.”

Suzy looked at Myungsoo, and wondered just how many secrets the boy kept.

“You witnessed for yourself how melodies of seemingly opposite natures could meld in harmony, didn’t you? What if I told you it was the same for people?”

“It wouldn’t change a thing. Quit trying. Being alone – this is something I’ve decided since a long time ago, and I’m not about to change it anytime soon.”

“I’ll continue coming.”

“Will you stop if I went to another room? Will that show you how much I don’t want you hanging around my side?”

“Maybe.”

“Okay then.”

021

Suzy returned to the same room and Myungsoo wasn’t there.

“So he wasn’t kidding,” Suzy mused.

You really dislike me being around you so much, huh, Kim Myungsoo?

030

It had been 11 days since Myungsoo last saw Suzy, and he was entirely fine with that. At least, that’s what he’d been telling himself, hoping (in vain) that it would sink in as reality.

He walked past a notice board and saw the name Bae Suji. He thought he was seeing things, but then he stood there and took a closer look. It was Bae Suji alright. Instinctively, his eyes fleeted up to see the notice.

Shortlisted participants for the learning trip to France, it read.

Myungsoo let slip a lop-sided grin.

So she did make it, huh? She must be elated.

Myungsoo then realized that he was smiling. Because of her. His smile faded away immediately and he walked away hurriedly, like he was escaping.

Kim Myungsoo, you really got too close. You should have stopped it much earlier. It shouldn’t have gotten even this deep. It shouldn’t…

032

Myungsoo was brushing his teeth when a bright light flashed before his eyes and all of a sudden, he was watching as a plane headed towards the ocean at a high speed.

There was chaos everywhere; people were screaming and crying. A girl with long wavy hair crouched down at her seat in fear. Her head turned slightly and he was just about to see her face when everything ended just as quickly as it started.

He was back at the bathroom again, with the toothbrush in his mouth and foam everywhere. He spat the foam out and rinsed his mouth a few times. Cold sweat trickled down on both sides of his face as he looked into the mirror.

This is your pathetic life, Kim Myungsoo. So don’t ever think about going back to her again.

033

Suzy half-hopped to the general office, clutching her passport in her hands. She had just another turn left to make when she heard hurried steps approaching her from behind. She swerved around and was shocked to see Myungsoo.

“H-Hi,” She waved awkwardly, “What are you doing here – ”

He grabbed onto her right wrist suddenly and said firmly, “Don’t go to France. You can’t go there.”

 “What do you mean I can’t go? Why?” Suzy said, confused.

“Just listen to me. Don’t go, Suzy.”

“Why should I?” Suzy spat, getting increasingly annoyed by his intervention.

“I don’t really want to explain, especially not here – ” Myungsoo said, and then looked around cautiously for a few moments.

Suzy opened to say something when suddenly, she felt her passport being snatched from her hands. The next second, she saw Myungsoo racing away rapidly, with – that’s right – her passport in his right hand.

“Yah, Kim Myungsoo! Stop, now!” Suzy screamed at the top of her voice as she took off after him.

He eventually ran into the canteen, where the crowd made it difficult for Suzy to even walk through, and when she emerged from the sea of the people, he was gone from sight.

Suzy clenched her teeth in fury and then yelled in anger, looking at the empty corridor.

Myungsoo panted heavily as he stood behind the wall of one of the classrooms. He glanced outside to ensure that Suzy didn’t catch up, and then coughed several times.

He gazed at the passport in his hands.

I’m doing such things again, Myungsoo thought, letting out a bitter laugh.

I thought I would never again. It seems that I may just have to live like that, misunderstood by people all the time. They’ll never understand anyway.

It was evening and the sky was just beginning to turn dark when Myungsoo heard a couple of furious knocks at the door.

He could guess who it was, but looked through the peephole anyway, and not surprisingly, there Suzy was, standing at his door with a look of exasperation.

He walked back into the house and plopped onto the sofa comfortably. He reached for the remote and switched on the television, pretending that he hadn’t seen the girl at the door at all.

The knocks became more rapid and frequent, and increasingly difficult for Myungsoo to ignore.

“Yah, Kim Myungsoo! I know you’re in there! I can hear your television, you idiot! If you really want to hide, then at least be smarter!”

Myungsoo rolled his eyes and turned the volume up.

“Yah!” Suzy’s voice broke as she yelled, “Give it back! You know how much I want to go for that trip!”

A series of furious knocking (more like attempts to tear the door down) ensued and the noise was so impressive that Myungsoo feared his door would soon give way and collapse.

The commotion suddenly quietened down and Myungsoo caught just two faint words: You know…

Nothing was heard for a few minutes after that, so Myungsoo switched off his television and walked to the door. He plastered his ears to the door to hear if she was still there.

There were a few soft sobs, and suddenly, an outburst again.

“If you’re not going to return it to me, then at least tell me why!”

Suzy was about to knock onto the door again when Myungsoo (finally) opened it.

“What are you doing here at this time? Go home and sleep,” Myungsoo said, seemingly nonchalant.

Suzy held a hand out and demanded, “Passport. I won’t leave until I get it.”

“And I won’t give it back to you until that plane takes off.”

“Why’re you doing this, seriously?” Suzy exclaimed, and then began to cry again.

Myungsoo sighed lightly, gazed at a random direction, bit his lip, contemplated for a few more moments, and then decided to speak.

“You really want to know?”

Suzy nodded.

“That plane,” He enunciated, “is going to crash.”

Suzy looked taken aback for a while and then retorted, “Don’t say such things! Who told you that?”

“You don’t need to know.”

“Everything’s happening so suddenly and you don’t even want to tell me what’s going on,” Suzy blabbered, tears streaking her face.

Myungsoo lightly pushed Suzy off his doorstep and said, “Look, Suzy. There’s no way you’d be going on that trip now anyway, so stop thinking about it. I’ll send you home; it’s pretty dark.”

“I don’t need you to send me home, go away,” Suzy muttered, flinging her hands towards him. She strode away hurriedly. Queitly, Myungsoo followed after her (anyway).

As she entered the house, she slammed the door (right in Myungsoo’s face).

Suzy, why is it – why is it that I want you to understand more than anyone else? Or maybe it’s just that again – I’d gotten too close.

Myungsoo turned around and started on his way home. He rubbed his hands together and shuddered. It was cold.

“Suji-ah, why are you back so late?” Her mother gently chided as she stormed into the house.

“I’ve bought the windbreakers you wanted for your trip, by the way. I hope you like the design I chose – ”

Suzy turned to her mother with her teary eyes and said with a slightly cracked voice, “It’s okay. I don’t need it anymore. I’m not going anymore.”

“B-but why?” Mrs Bae said, baffled, “You were still so excited about it last night.”

“I lost something important,” Suzy gave a vague reply and ran up to her room.

She threw her whole body onto the bed, and tears just begin to fall down uncontrollably.

She didn’t even know what she was tearing up about anymore.

You don’t need to know.

His words echoed in her mind, much like a broken recorder, annoying her to no end. He made her feel so foreign, so untrustworthy, though they were hardly strangers.

That plane is going to crash.

The intensity of his honest gaze bore into her soul. It was frightening, intriguing, and so much more. She’d be lying if she said that she wasn’t curious about what the boy was hiding (and that she wasn’t hurt by how he was hiding it from her).

035

They brushed by along the corridors, but Suzy couldn’t bring herself to even exchange glances with him.

What am I running away from? Suzy asked herself.

A flock of birds flew past, a couple of red leaves fell from above, and the old clock tower in the school garden chimed.

There was no answer.

037

Suzy sat, sleepily, at the breakfast table, holding a piece of half-eaten sandwich in her hand. Her eyes were just about to close when the word “plane” caught her attention.

“ – plane crashed into the waters off the coast of mainland China, on the way to France. There is evidence that an explosion may have occurred as well, and rescue teams are on their way. The Starfield Airlines expresses their deepest apologies and is currently looking into – ”

Suzy’s eyes widened and the piece of sandwich she was holding fell onto the ground.

“Suji! Why’re you so careless?” Mrs Bae exclaimed from the kitchen, “Take my share. I’ll make a new one.”

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh,” Suzy mumbled incoherently as she placed both hands on either cheek.

“Suji, eat your breakfast – ”

Suzy suddenly shot up from her seat and shouted, “Mum! I have something to settle, so I’ll go first! Bye!”

With that, she dashed out of the front door.

“Suji! What happened?” Mrs Bae hollered as she ran to the front door, only to see that her daughter was already nowhere in sight.

It was a Sunday morning when Myungsoo heard the frantic knocks on his door, and Sunday mornings were always lazy to Myungsoo, so he took his time to get to the door. When he opened it, he was still barely awake.

“Did you hear?” A voice exclaimed once the door was ajar, “Thank you, Myungsoo, thank you!”

Myungsoo’s eyes shot open upon hearing the familiar voice. He narrowed his eyes.

“What are you doing here?” He yawned, “On a Sunday morning too.”

“You probably haven’t seen the news,” Suzy said, “Your prediction came true!”

“Ah, is that so?”

Suzy eyed Myungsoo and said, “You knew it would happen, right?”

“I’ll go get your passport,” He said, walking back into the house.

When Myungsoo returned with the passport, Suzy grabbed his hand and said, “I’m sorry… Thank you so much, really. It frightens me so much when I think about I could have been in those ruins now, how I could be – gone…”

“It’s alright.”

“How did you know?” Suzy asked, her eyes sparkling with deep curiosity (and fascination), “You may say that I don’t need to know. But can I just say that I want to know? It’s okay if you decide not to share, still.”

Myungsoo looked at Suzy in contemplation. He took in a deep, sharp breath.

“I can see things before they happen.”

“Oh, wow, really? That’s cool!” Suzy’s face lighted up.

“It’s not,” Myungsoo said flatly.

Suzy’s face fell. She narrowed her lips and then said, “Sorry. I’ve never seen visions before, so I may have gotten a little over-excited.”

“It’s nothing to desire of, really. I wish I don’t have this ability.”

“Is it something you’ve had since young?”

“Yes. I only discovered it when I was five though. It wasn’t a nice experience.”

“What… was it like?” Suzy hesitated, wondering if she was intruding in his privacy too much.

Myungsoo looked at the ground for a few moments, and then at Suzy.

He finally said, “I saw my friend falling and losing one of his front teeth. I didn’t know what it meant then, so I just told my friend about it, and we even laughed it off. But then it actually happened in reality, and it was not a pretty sight. My friend cried really hard. I felt so sorry, and I wanted to go and apologise, but then he told everyone that it happened because I said it. Everyone attended to him, so I just backed away. I ran to the toilet and cried on my own.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“I don’t know, Suzy, I really don’t know. Up till now, I still wonder about that. Because all the things I see are bad. Maybe I’m the one who brought it upon others.”

“I don’t think so. You just happened to see it; it’s not like you wanted it to happen, or willed for it to.”

“But the people around me suffer because I keep telling them these scary things. A friend of mine got fed-up once. He was never one to flare up, but he got sick of my pessimism. I saw how people were hurting, so I learnt to keep it in, instead. It’s better that way.”

“Do your parents know?”

“My parents… They passed away when I was pretty young, around nine. I guess that’s when I really began to hate this ability.”

“What happened?”

“I saw my parents’ death in a vision, but I had no idea it was them. It was a car accident, but I couldn’t see the faces. Everything else was crystal clear though, the screeching of the tires, the loud honks, the trembling hands – I could almost smell the burning of rubber and asphalt, too. I saw it for a few times, and it frightened me a lot, so I decided to release that fear by drawing it out. My relatives saw the drawing after my parents’ death and they began accusing me of being a ‘demon child’ who caused my parents’ death. They said it so much that I almost believed it, too. If not for my grandmother, the only one who still believed in me. After my parents’ demise, she was the one who took care of me. But she’s gone now, too.”

“I didn’t know you went through so much… And I kept bothering you. Sorry.”

“You don’t have to say sorry for being the nicest person to me other than my closest kin.”

“I am?” Suzy smiled, surprised at his sudden compliment, “I thought you really disliked me.”

“Since I’ve been this honest with you already, then I might as well tell you – I don’t want to hurt you as well.”

“You won’t.”

“After hearing all this, you still want to be my friend?”

“Yes, even more so.”

“Aren’t you afraid? I might keep telling you about all the bad things that will happen.”

“That’s better than not knowing. Haven’t you thought that, perhaps, being able to see those visions is an opportunity for you to prevent them from happening? Or to do something for the unfortunate now that you have such insight? Rather than thinking it as bad luck, what about seeing it as a privilege?”

“You make it sound so noble.”

“Because it could be. I think it depends on how you use it. If you despise it, then that’s the way it will remain; if you see its potential, then it could be really powerful.”

“It’s not that simple though – people won’t like us meddling in their lives, and sudden bad news will only scare them.”

“You did save my life, didn’t you?”

“That’s different – ”

“The heart behind it is the same. Hey, we could try it out one day. That’s pretty interesting,” Suzy said, grinning.

“Try what?” Myungsoo said with a half-skeptical expression.

“Using your ability to help others. Only if you’re willing to.”

“I guess I could try. But… can you promise to keep this to yourself?”

Suzy laughed, “Of course! Hey, I’m smart enough to tell that this is not something you’d want to make public, okay? It took more than a month of interaction before you told me.”

“I’m trusting you, alright?”

“Don’t worry,” Suzy smiled, “And I’ll change that negative perception you tend to have of others.”

“Yah, you’re such a bragger,” Myungsoo said, a smile escaping his lips, “Finish one goal before you set another! Having too many ambitions can be disastrous.”

“I finished one goal already!”

“And what was that?”

“Becoming friends with you.”

Myungsoo recalled Suzy’s words during their first few meetings and finally laughed. Suzy looked at him and didn’t realize that the sides of her lips went curving upwards, too.

After Suzy left the house, Myungsoo reflected and realized how he had just poured everything he’d hidden for so long with a girl he’d known for just a little over a month. All the walls he’d carefully built up, brick by brick – he’d just torn them all down personally. And the strangest thing was: he didn’t mind at all.

038

“Why did you bring me here? I don’t like places with a lot of people,” Myungsoo grumbled as they walked through the school garden. He had his head down and his gaze on the luscious green grass patch.

“I know,” Suzy smiled slyly, “That’s why. If you’re so afraid of getting visions, then how are you going to use them to help others? You need to face it, Myungsoo; you can’t be running away from it forever.”

Myungsoo looked at Suzy with his mouth wide open.

“I didn’t even say why I don’t like crowds,” Myungsoo said in disbelief, “How on earth did you know? You should be a psychologist.”

Suzy gestured for Myungsoo to come closer, and then whispered into his ear, “Actually, I can read minds.”

Myungsoo scoffed, and then continued to hang his head low.

Suzy moved Myungsoo’s head back upwards by grabbing the top of his head.

“Ouch!” Myungsoo yelped, “That hurts!”

“Oops, sorry,” Suzy laughed embarrassedly and said, “I just thought you should look up a bit more.”

Myungsoo looked at his surroundings cautiously, his eyes darting from right to left and back again.

A bright light flashed across his eyes.

A middle-aged woman with a pale complexion staggered a few steps forward and collapsed onto the ground.

Another flash.

A young lady tightened her grip onto the phone as she said, “I’m coming!” She took off shortly after.

In an instant, Myungsoo was back at the garden again.

“Are you okay?” Suzy asked worriedly as she waved a hand in front of his eyes, “Did you see something?”

Myungsoo looked up ahead, and then let out a breath before he turned to Suzy.

“That girl’s mother is going to faint, and I have a feeling that it has something to do with her,” Myungsoo said, directing Suzy’s attention to a girl who smiled quietly while listening on to her friends’ conversation. The group of girls were sitting on a bench then.

“So you don’t only see things, you feel them too?”

“Only sometimes. Sometimes, the visions wouldn’t make sense if I couldn’t feel a thing. But it really to be able to feel all that.”

“Come on, let’s write a note!” Suzy piped up in excitement.

“Write what? You’re not going to tell her she’s going to make her mum faint right?”

“Of course not,” Suzy said, “We’ll just give her a gentle reminder to care for her mum.”

“You do it; I’m not good at such things,” Myungsoo nudged.

“Fine,” Suzy said, a little cockily, “Watch and learn.”

Myungsoo smirked lightly. Suzy has a little too much confidence.

In her dainty handwriting, Suzy scribbled on a small sticky note:

Your mother is worried about you. Let her how much know you care – today, not tomorrow, or the day after, but this very moment. Love is most easily felt through genuine acts. Don’t wait to show your love to your mother.

“Whoa,” Myungsoo cooed, “Sounds like a cheesy Mothers’ Day message.”

“Good, aren’t I?”

“Let’s just give it to her,” Myungsoo said, ignoring Suzy’s self-praise.

“Okay, let’s get another student to pass it to her,” Suzy said, “Since you want to remain anonymous.”

Myungsoo and Suzy observed quietly from behind a tree as the girl read the message. A few moments later, she began to sob softly. The friend beside her looked shocked and passed her a piece of tissue paper, asking her what happened.

She passed the note to her friend and said, “I’ve been ignoring my mum for days, staying away from home. It was a petty issue, but I let myself become overwhelmed by it. This message just – I have no idea where it came from, but now I feel like going home.”

“Yoojin-ah, you didn’t even tell us anything!” Her friend exclaimed, and then squeezed her shoulders assuringly, “Don’t cry anymore, okay? Tell us next time something like that happens, silly girl!”

Suzy turned to Myungsoo and smiled. “You did it.”

“You did, too.”

“Are you still afraid?”

“Huh?”

“Your visions. They don’t have to be scary – you don’t have to keep those feelings to yourself.”

Myungsoo was surprised, again, at how Suzy could indeed seem to read his mind, though he knew that she probably didn’t have such an ability.

He chuckled, “Stop reading my mind; it’s scary.”

“That’s alright – we can scare each other, and become braver together.”

Myungsoo smiled at her words.

I’m glad to finally see you smiling, genuinely, Suzy thought.

046

Mr Park furrowed his brows in confusion as he listened to the recorded music through the headphones. It was Myungsoo’s new assignment. It was distinctly his music, but unexpectedly, there was a new vibe from this piece – one other than raw, unpolished desolation. He found himself replaying the piece a few times and nodding his head.

Despite what the boy had said, he had indeed changed something in his new piece.

“Myungsoo…” Mr Park started, “Did something good happen?”

“What do you mean?”

“Your music colour has changed.”

“Ah, has it?”

“Yes. Surely you did something different this time round.”

“I’m not really sure… Oh, yes, it could be that – spring just came.”

“Spring?” Mr Park repeated, bewildered, “But it’s Autumn – ”

Myungsoo simply smiled lightly and walked away before Mr Park even finished his sentence.

Up till this day, I still cannot fathom what that boy is thinking, Mr Park thought with a sigh.

Spring just came? What was I even thinking?

Spring just came… in my heart, He completed the sentence in his mind.

How did that even cross my mind?

Myungsoo smiled quietly to himself as he walked briskly back to the music room (where he now pulled the curtains much further apart, where there was now light, where he now had something to look forward to – that is, seeing her).

050

“Suzy,” Myungsoo said casually, “You haven’t been studying for your theory test huh? I saw you failing.”

“Ouch,” Suzy said, “You could have been more tactful with that.”

“Sorry. I thought you’d like me to be honest.”

“Yes, sure, thank you,” Suzy said, “You’re right, I actually handle bluntness pretty well now, thanks to someone.”

“Oh, who is that?”

“I thought you’d know.”

“But I don’t.”

“Too bad; read my mind.”

“Go and study for your test! I can feel how down you will be when you fail, and it !”

“Okay!” Suzy exclaimed in slight annoyance even as she couldn't control smiling. She retrieved her abandoned theory books from her bag and bit onto the ends of her pencil as she concentrated on revision.

055

“Ah, is that him?” Myungsoo heard voices in the near distance and looked up to a few pairs of curious eyes. He stared back at them.

A familiar figure ran towards them from a distance.

“What are you girls doing?” Suzy exclaimed, flustered.

“You said we could come and see,” One of them said.

“Yes, but you should’ve waited for me!” Suzy retorted, and then turned to Myungsoo and gave him a sheepish smile.

They talked a little more (but Myungsoo couldn’t be bothered to even try hearing what they were saying) before the little assembly dispersed and Suzy jogged over to Myungsoo.

“I’m so sorry!” Suzy cried.

“It’s okay. Were those your friends?”

“Yeah, long-time friends. They were curious about you, so I told them they could come and join us today.”

“Where did they go then?”

“They… got shy. Erm, actually, they said they didn’t want to play gooseberry. Just ignore them; they’re being ridiculous, I know.”

Myungsoo chuckled, “That’s alright. It’s just like friends to be teasing each other about things like that. It’s quite nice.”

Suzy looked at Myungsoo and suddenly realized that he probably didn’t have many long-time friends.

“You’re a nice person, okay?” Suzy said, “Don’t deny yourself the chance of making friends again in the future.”

Myungsoo just smiled, and Suzy couldn’t read his eyes.

062

Suzy hurried over to the music room right after her lessons ended. “I have a surprise gift for you,” He’d said over the phone. Suzy couldn’t wait to see what he had up his sleeve. While she happened to know what he was thinking at times, the boy was still quite unpredictable. (It slipped her mind that it was her birthday.)

“You’re here,” Myungsoo said as Suzy stepped into the room. He was tuning some strings on the acoustic guitar.

Suzy placed her belongings down at the same spot she always did and took a seat on the wooden floor, in front of Myungsoo.

“What is it that you called me so enthusiastically for?”

“Listen,” He said.

He began to play on the guitar and Suzy listened, very carefully. It was the most depressing tune he had played in a while. Halfway through the piece, Suzy began to wonder what’s wrong, and if something bad had happened again. (She noticed how he seemed to channel the emotions he couldn’t reveal into his music.)

The piece ended and Suzy was just about to ask “What happened?” when Myungsoo said something that made her heart fall.

“It’s for you,” He said, “I wrote this while thinking of you.”

For me? Suzy thought, not quite able to comprehend what that meant.

I made you feel so down and angry and depressed?

Suzy felt her heart clench and before she knew it, warm drops of tears began rolling down from her eyes.

Myungsoo looked at Suzy crying and blinked twice.

What’s happening? He flustered.

“S-Suzy…” His voice faded off as he said, and then it struck him.

“Ah, don’t misunderstand!” He exclaimed, “I wrote this while I saw that vision of your own plane crashing, when I saw that it was you. I was entirely torn then, between telling you or not. This tune really comprised of all the feelings I had then, so I thought you’d like to hear it. And I dedicated it to you since you inspired it, technically.”

“Yah, you should’ve explained beforehand!” Suzy shouted even as tears continued falling down, “You idiot, I thought you still find me annoying! I got so scared.”

“Is that so?” Myungsoo said, “But I never did.”

“Really?” Suzy said with rounded eyes.

“I was only afraid of getting too close to you. Because, well…”

“It’s okay, I know.”

“Thank you,” Myungsoo said, “I know I should’ve said this long ago, but I hope it’s still not too late. Everything that happened only happened because of your decision to become friends with me. For that, thank you.”

“It’s funny how things turned out. Do you believe in fate?”

“I used to hate it, because I thought it was what brought me all that misery. But now, I’d like to believe in it.”

“You know what? I never intended for any of this. In the beginning, I only did what I did because of my pride. I couldn’t allow someone to treat me that way. But then I began to see that there was more to you than I initially thought.”

“I see. So fate has been good to me.”

“To us.”

“To us,” Myungsoo repeated.

“Oh!” He suddenly exclaimed and rummaged through his bag, finally emerging with a tiny bear holding a stalk of rose.

“Happy birthday!” He said, handing the present over to her.

“I’m sorry; this is my first time doing this, so I probably at it. I gave you a super generic present, but I hope you like it. After all, it’s the heart that counts, isn’t it?”

“It’s the heart that counts; of course, of course it is. Thank you, Myungsoo.”

Myungsoo’s eyes narrowed into crescent slits as he smiled. He didn’t need any special ability to feel that Suzy was genuinely happy (and that makes him happy, too).

113

A little boy stood in the middle of the park, wailing loudly. Myungsoo walked towards the boy and bent down.

“What happened?”

“My mum told me to meet her at the pavilion nearest to the bike rental store, but I don’t know how to get there.”

“Ah, that’s not very far away,” Myungsoo said gently, “Don’t worry, I’ll bring you there.”

“Really?” The boy’s face brightened up, “Thank you, Hyung!”

“No problem,” Myungsoo said with a grin as he held the boy’s hand.

When they reached their destination, Myungsoo noticed the aroma of barbequed meat which wafted across the place.

Oh. He remembered something. Myungsoo smiled knowingly and then glanced into the direction of the bike rental store.

A mini barbeque grill was wheeled out from behind the store, as Suzy, Sungyeol and Sungjong (the two friends he had recently made in his new class) sang the birthday song.

“You’re also going to give me new guitar picks, aren’t you?” Myungsoo grinned.

Suzy’s jaw dropped.

“You knew?”

Myungsoo nodded.

“Jeez, the disadvantages of being friends with someone who can see into the future. I can’t even surprise you properly because you’ve seen everything already!”

Myungsoo laughed, “Don’t worry, I’ll just feel touched again. After all, it’s the heart that matters. And the meat.”

“And the meat,” Suzy laughed.

“Also, that was the first joyous vision I ever saw. I’m glad that you were in it.”

“I feel so honoured. See, you could see more than just the bad. It’s about the way your heart is inclined.”

“You should be honoured,” Myungsoo said, “It’s only right too, since you were the one who made it possible.”

“Hm? What did you say?” Suzy said as she peeled her eyes off the barbeque grill, where Sungyeol and Sungjong were happily cooking the meat (and stealing chunks of them), entirely content with leaving the birthday boy to Suzy.

“Nothing,” Myungsoo said.

Suzy smirked, “Alright, if you insist. Let’s have some meat, shall we?”

“Sure!” Myungsoo exclaimed enthusiastically, and scrambled over to the barbequed grill.

I made it possible, Suzy mused over the line she obviously heard.

I’m glad I did, Myungsoo. Because seeing you smile is the most precious gift I could ever get from you, and I’ve never been more proud about my stubbornness.

It was night when Myungsoo finally looked at the card Suzy had attached, along to the box with the guitar picks.

Hey, Myungsoo,

Happy birthday!

It can get a little annoying sometimes, always hearing about how I’m going to fail my test, miss my bus, get stuck in the rain .etc.

But that’s alright, because they sound a lot less scary now. I’ve grown to like hearing these things, I guess.

I’m glad to hear less gloomy pieces from you now, though that first piece I heard will always have a nostalgic value, hahaha.

Don’t ever be afraid to shine!

Suzy

Myungsoo chuckled, and then kept the card in his drawer.

Suzy, sometimes you praise me so much that I forget; you’re the one who brought me out of the darkness.