Mad At You

Description

The after math of Niel kiss scene with Changjo. A very jealous L'joe.

Foreword

This is just to tide you guys over until i can get my other stories updated. And for everyone who voted for a .

Comments

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Amalya
#1
Chapter 1: Okay. So, aside from the various tense changes throughout the fic, certain misspellings, and how you jump between POV's (a minor concern there since it's primarily the two of them), another entertaining read.

You've got a good idea of how to spin the story and make it come together, playing the characters off each other and such. The interactions between the members continue to amuse and that banter with L. Joe and Ricky was hilarious. I do really enjoy the way you followed up at the end with that appearance from Changjo too. That was a nice touch. You're already aware of the punctuation bit so I'll leave off with that one, though I still maintain you can do more with elaboration and/or description.

You do well once when you get to bathroom scene, which makes sense, though here you may want to watch some of your word choices. The term 'tongue ' is redundant and could said with simply ''. Though I will say 'as he marked Niel’s neck shamelessly.' was a good, descriptive choice and well played. The 'Niel’s lethal body' was slightly confusing since lethal generally indicates deadly or dangerous or something of that nature and in the context, it's a bit off-putting. Just little things like that.

Otherwise, again, the rest of the story was engaging, entertaining, and well worth the time spent. The ending was a teensy bit of a surprise and I'm surprised Changjo didn't follow up more but given the situation, I suppose he was cutting him some slack. haha And damn. A full year without saying the L word. hehe
pjaneisme
#2
Chapter 1: OMG!!! My feels!!!
mzjonghyun #3
Chapter 1: i love it and especially love the gif of jiyong
kiseob_cute #4
Chapter 1: awww jiyong
SmileCandy #5
Chapter 1: I don't usually read teentop fics but this one was truely amazing
pochamanii
#6
Chapter 1: My god!!!!! That's great!! *Q*!!!!
It's hot!!.. My Nieljoe feels~~~~~
Sherii
#7
Patinetly waiting :D
GyunGyunMinMin #8
Update soon

_HWAITING_
Isamost2012 #9
This seems nice, I'll be waiting for you to update it ^^