Why did she have to be here. She haunts my days already and now she haunts my nights, will I ever be at peace? She laughs at the radio and tries to make jokes. Her smile as she is in her wedding dress. She laughs as we sit on the stairs, can she not see I don’t want to talk to her. Her hand touches my arm as I drive, I know not where but I need to escape. She pinched my cheek and pulled my nose before I pushed her hands away from me. She grabs my face shaking it and I pushed her hands away again but this time more violently; all she did was laugh at me as she leaned on the stairs. She continued laughing in the car.

She shook my arm and my annoyance was showing on my face as I my lips trying to control my temper. Once again she grabbed my face trying to make my eyes “smile” I pushed her away and yelled at her for my temper had finally snapped. She laughed and ran down the stairs into the hallway I followed her and she hid behind my best friend to escape my wrath. I looked away from them as my friend did not deserve to be torn between the two of us. I thought deeply as I drove on through Seoul. She hit my arm again then stuck her tongue out at my while she was still behind my friend, he hugged her for her playfulness as I looked on in pain. I laughed along with him as it was some joke we were playing before glaring at her.

She stuck her head out of the cars window and laughed as the wind whipped her hair about; I looked at her with too many emotions that could not be described. I laughed and smiled along with my friend as we all pass it off as a joke. She laughs in her wedding dress for it is the happiest day of her life and my saddest. She smiles at me in the car as I feel the emotions I locked away creeping up inside me as I continued driving. She stands in the hallway and I walk down the stairs, my friend comes up behind her and hugs her; they start dancing to an invisible tune. We stay silent in the car. I find them dancing and I felt like I was intruding so I stood there awkwardly. Anger and pain were what I felt as I drove on down the streets. I left them dancing in that hallway but I looked back and what I saw was too painful for me to describe; their love was too much. I sat at the top of the stairs as my heart was being crushed. We were all in the living room discussing day to day things such as work then it turned into a conversation between the two of them as I watched on in annoyance. Then they told me the news that broke my heart completely. The pain was great as I drove on and all she did was look at me. Standing up I asked what they were trying to tell me. On the top of the stairs I tried hard not to cry.

My friend was greeting people at the entrance of the venue where they were having the wedding I stood a little aways glancing at him. My tears tried to come out as I was driving the car but I did my best to hold them back. The sound of footsteps diverted my attention from my friend, I looked up and saw her in her wedding dress with a bright smile on her face as she waved at me. I glanced at her with disbelief in the car. She asked me how she looked and gave a twirl to show off her dress. I gave a thumbs up to say that she looked great and she showed me her ring. Her ring glittered in the light of the living room and I was shocked by it, they were getting married. My friend showed me his matching ring and my heart was now not only broken but completely gone.

The tears still tried to get out as I drove on. I smiled at her hiding my emotions as she continued to show off her dress to me. My anger took control as I banged on the cars steering wheel, how cruel life was. My friend and her took hands. I pulled out a picture and glanced at it. The car now had no direction it was just driving on the streets of Seoul with no idea where to go as I was lost. My friend looked at us and she ran to him in delight. They hugged each other and he fixed her hair, I looked away not able to handle the scene. I continued to hit the steering wheel before stopping the car completely. Her smile in that dress. I hit the wheel again but more in pain rather than rage now. They walked together down the aisle I stood off to the side looking at them. I look at her in the car and they bow to each other at the alter. My hand reaches out to touch her as they both take the others hand into theirs. She is not there in the car and I look at an empty space.

He places the ring on her finger and I look on in anger, pain, and a million other emotions. I shake my head trying to rid myself of memories in my car. They kiss at the altar as I look on with pain becoming my most prominent emotion and the emotion that I show on my face. I take the picture out again and she looks at me with confusion in the car. I sit alone in the car with the picture in my hand. I leave the canopy needing to find a space where I could breath and my friend gives me a smile. I could not hold back my tears anymore as I looked at the picture, I cried letting all my emotions out and then I torn the picture.

My friend comes to the roof because that was where I was trying to collect myself, he had asked me to take a wedding photo with them and I refused. He grabbed my wrist and ignored my rejections of the idea and I let him drag me back to the altar where his new wife was waiting. She fixed his hair and he smiled at her while I looked on with a feeling of intrusion. I smiled to show I was happy for them and his wife linked her arms with both of us. He looked at me with such joy but I could only look at him with sadness in my eyes. They leaned close together to pose for the photographer and I stood giving a little smile of disbelief.

I cried as I put the two halves of the torn photo together but instead of them being next to each other I moved it so Him and I were next to each other.  I looked to the passenger seat and saw him before turning my head to look out the windshield along with him. I could never have him for he was never mine to begin with.