"I've been dying inside

Holding back the tears I never cried

Now I'm down on my knees

Cause everything you are is what I need

You're the meaning of it all

Don't let me fall, you've gotta

Tell me why I'm alone"

          (The Future Never Dies by Scorpions)

Eunhyuk hesitantly entered the small bathroom, scared of what he might encounter inside. Donghae was sitting on the closed toilet seat, silently crying. He tried to hide it when Eunhyuk came in and refused to look at him but it only made him look even more pitiful. Eunhyuk leaned against the sink that was on the left side of the toilet and observed Donghae while he thought about something to say. Donghae was looking down in his lap and fidgeting with his fingers as his shoulders shook lightly as he cried. Eunhyuk wondered how he still could possess such an innocent aura at his age and hoped that the special light in Donghae’s eyes never would be extinguished. 

”Why are you crying Donghae?” he settled for in the end when he couldn’t stand the silence anymore.

”Nothing...”

”Come on, I’m your friend! You can tell me!”

Donghae let out a heavy sight but he didn’t respond. Eunhyuk sighed too before he left the sink to crunch down in front of Donghae where he was sitting on the toilet so he could see his face better. He reached out his hand to cup Donghae’s face to make him lift his head but Donghae swapped his hand away angrily.

”Should you really be doing that?” Donghae asked with a voice drenched in venom.

”What?” Eunhyuk asked him confused and tried to do it again only to have his hand slapped away again.

”That! Didn’t you just say that the thought of us caring for each other was disgusting?” Donghae said and abruptly stood up about to walk out. Eunhyuk however quickly grabbed him by the waist and pushed him down onto the toilet seat again. 

”What are you talking about? I was talking about them talking about us like we’re a real couple, not us caring for each other.” Eunhyuk said and let his hands rest on Donghae’s waist to prevent him from leaving the room. 

”What’s the difference?” Donghae asked him as he continued to stare down on his lap. 

”What!?” Eunhyuk said confused and tried to process what he just had said.

”Nothing.”

”Donghae... To care about someone as a friend and to love someone like a lover are two very different things...” Eunhyuk said quietly and nervously as he let his hand fall from Donghae’s waist.

”You said our relationship made you sick!”

”No! I said that them saying we’re a couple made me sick!”

”But we are a couple! You’re my best friend!” Donghae shot back at him as he looked around on the floor refusing to meet Eunhyuk’s eyes.

”Best friends, yes. A couple, no. Not in the way a man sees a woman...” Eunhyuk said and hoped the sadness in his voice couldn’t be heard. 

Donghae was quiet again for a while and only fidgeted with his fingers.

”Then why do you always say that we’re not friends in interviews? That we only are working colleagues?” he finally asked.

”What? You know I only say it to make the interviews funny... And to annoy you...” Eunhyuk said and playfully poked his chest.

”I don’t get why you think it’s so fun to say it, that’s all...” Donghae said looked up to meet his eyes for the first time. His eyes were puffy and red but they still had that magic light in them that made Eunhyuk’s heart skip a beat, how he wished he could look into them for as long as he wanted. Lost in Donghae’s eyes his subconscious said something aloud he never would say aloud willingly.

”I say it because I love to see your reaction and how much you care...” 

Donghae’s eyes shoot open in surprise and he blushed as he smiled. Eunhyuk noted how pretty he looked but he couldn’t really think about it at the moment because internally he was screaming at himself.

”Do you really mean it?” Donghae asked him with a face of total innocence and hope.

”Ehm... Yeah I...”was all Eunhyuk had time to say before Donghae threw himself at him, almost knocking him off his feet, he had to quickly grab hold of the toilet to not fall backwards.  He would have though about how disgusting the toilet probably was if it wasn’t for the fact that Donghae was hugging him tightly while putting almost all his weight on poor Eunhyuk as he sat bent over him from the toilet. Donghae was pressing his face into the back of his neck and Eunhyuk could feel the warm wetness of Donghae’s tears and soon found himself crying too.

”Never let me go, Hyukjae.” Donghae pleaded and Eunhyuk wasn’t sure if he meant from the hug or their friendship but it didn’t matter which one it was, he knew that he wouldn’t let go of Donghae until Donghae let go of him and he wasn’t entirely sure if he would be able to do it then either.

”I promise.” he whispered and almost choked on the air when Donghae quickly pulled back to give him a peck on his cheek before hugging him again, pulling him even tighter against himself this time. Eunhyuk was sure he was red like a tomato and the place on his cheek where Donghae had kissed him burned. He decided to just enjoy the moment as he let his hands release their grip around the toilet to instead rest on Donghae’s lower back. Then he slowly turned his own face into the crook of Donghae’s neck and took a deep breath, inhaling his scent. He wanted to stay like that for an eternity but his legs betrayed him as they began to shake from the exhaustion of staying in that uncomfortable position for so long. Gently he pulled back from the hug and explained why to Donghae as he stood up and leaned against the sink again, feeling the burn in his tired legs, his muscles would be sore tomorrow. To his surprise Donghae stood up too and quickly walked the three small steps to Eunhyuk to throw himself at him again, making Eunhyuk grab the sink with both hands to prevent the impact from making him hit the back of his head in the mirror behind him. Donghae hugged him again, this time pressing his face against his chest over Eunhyuk’s heart as Eunhyuk stood there awkwardly bent backwards over the sink. His back would make him pay for this later, he was sure of it. He hoped Donghae couldn’t hear his erratic heartbeat as they stood there for a long time. Finally his back ached too much so he stood up straight but only to embrace Donghae too, bringing him close. Donghae’s hands were on his back and Eunhyuk was pretty sure that his eyes were closed so he closed his own eyes too. He wasn’t sure how long they had stood there like that, it could have been a few minutes, it could have been several hours, he only knew that it ended all too quickly when Leetuk suddenly opened the door and cleared his throat making Eunhyuk gently push Donghae of him as he fought a faint blush. 

”I just wanted to tell you guys that we’re leaving in 5, but I’m happy too see that you made up again...” Leetuk said and smiled warmly at them before leaving them alone again. Eunhyuk scratched his neck awkwardly, not knowing what to say. He guess they were friends again now even though he still wasn’t entirely sure exactly why they had fought about from the beginning. Donghae smiled at him before he could say anything and took his hand in his, pulling him after him as he walked out from the bathroom.

”Come on Hyukkie, let’s go the van!”