"The way I’m living without you is

like I’m hurting to the point where

I don’t know if time is moving or if it stopped"

"A lightless night

that’s full of sadness

A heart that’s terribly cold

I can’t stand it"

"Why it felt like winter to me even

when I was under the bright sunlight

I know that this is all

because of her" -- B1A4 If...

Mi Kyoung

Most people think that death is the end.

The end of life—of good times—the end of, well, pretty much everything.

But those people are wrong.

Dead wrong.

And I should know. I died almost a year ago.

I remember the day I died quite clearly actually, I was in a car sitting beside the man I loved so much, we were driving to dinner when I saw a car in front of us, the headlights were so bright. I screamed and all I felt was a searing pain throughout my body, it paralyzed me, it pained me so much.  I heard screaming and my head felt light and airy. 

When I left the mortal world, there was no light, no sound, feeling, nothing.  It was all darkness and when I awoke, I knew I wasn’t on earth anymore.

Now, I live in Dreamland, it is a part of the Afterlife, Paradise, whatever you want to call it.  Dreamland is basically where people go when they dream, every dream here is a peaceful dream, and the nightmares didn’t belong in Paradise.

The souls, spirits, whatever you want to call us can go inside dreams and they can ask us questions, we basically give them guidance in life, or if they are having a hard time we be their shoulder to cry on.  It was amazing to see all the dreams that people have in their heads, it was different.

There was one thing though that I never forgot and I never will.  That was my fiancé.  The one that was in the car with me when that drunk driver crashed into us, the one I wanted to marry. Lee Hyuk Jae.

I had never seen him again after the crash, I tried asking the guardians of Dreamland, basically the rule keepers, the ones that make sure that everything goes in order here, and they had told me that he had not died from the crash and still resided on Earth.

I miss him. My Lee Hyuk Jae…

The only thing that linked me to him was a silver chain with a silver ring with a heart engraved on it. Our engagement ring.

He owned one and I owned one.  We didn’t wear our rings on our fingers because he figured that would be too common, instead he looped them in silver chains so that we could wear them on our necks.  I had giggled and loved the idea very much, it was different, lovely, and unique.  But, how did I bring the necklace with me to Dreamland, I did not know, nor anybody else here.  I didn’t really care why I had it, I was just thankful that I had something to remind me of him.

And so I’ll fight, I’ll wait for him to join me because I miss him and I love him, I wait for him forever, here in the land of Dreams. Dreamland.