Do you know that feeling? That feeling when you can't have something you want, even if you sacrifice everything for it. Maybe when you were a kid there was this really awesome toy that just came out, but your parents said no. Well, that's what I'm feeling nowadays, except the situation is the parent and Ryeowook's the toy.

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I'm a Super Junior memeber. Lee Sungmin. Sungmin Lee, if you are American. People say I'm feminine. I am and it's because I like to be careful with, literally, everything : love life, school, work, and friendship. They say it's because of my blood type, A, but I say it's just me. I like a lot of things. I like sports, videogames, singing, and guys. I've been trained for about four year  and been working for SM since then.

Yes, I'm gay, no, I do not check out every guy I see. I also didn't get my feminine side from being a homoual, I got it since I was born, and when I was born I'm pretty sure I was straight. You also might be thinking about how my parents handle my 'coming out' situation. Well, I'm going to sum it up with one word: Okay. My parents literally was like 'I don't give a single sh*t.'  when I told them. It wasn't that I didn't like their reaction, it was their 'couldn't care less' attitude. I literally thought at that moment that they should atleast give me a little inspirational life quote. Even if they knew there was a small chance I was going to use it.

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Okay, now that we're done with introductions, let me tell you about the day I realized my attratction to Ryeowook:

It was a Monday morning. I woke up in a good mood and got myself a good cup of joe. I showered and put on some practice clothes. I had early practice with Ryeowook since we won't have time later to practice because of our schedules.

We finished practice and had a fifteen minute break before we get ready for the next schedule. Ryeowook sits on the floor with me.

"Hyung, nice." He told me and I smile back.

"Thanks, you're doing good as well." I told him. He smiles at me and I feel like my stomach was getting twisted. 

"Thanks, hyung. You know I like compliments...you know me so well." He replied and then I feel this strange feeling.

"Ofcourse, all of us do." I replied, pointing out that the other members know him as well.

"You know me the best." He replied with a soft smile. Then it hit me. I get caught in the moment, staring at his face. I realize...I, I like him.

"Hyung? You okay?" I hear his voice which snaps me out of my 'moment'.

"Oh, yeah. I'm fine." I reply, but I know it wasn't.