Hyeongkon could never understand him; they were totally on different spectrum from one another, a complete opposite. While he pride himself as someone on the rough side, someone build for the harsh world, he agree that Jaehyung looks like he has been shielded from that world all of his life, he sometimes wonder if he could shattered from a slightest touch.  

Seo Jaehyung, when they met for the first time, Hyeongkon admits, the mere appearances of the other guy makes him feel small, something that he rarely feels.

He was a man of great confidences, having gone through so many things in his life, where most are not peachy, confidence was something he built from scratch bit by bits over time. If not for confidence he wouldn’t have audition for a singing reality show, if not for confidence he wouldn’t bravely got himself enlisted at a very young age, letting go of school just because he feels like it.  No, he is a man of confidence, that is for sure.

So why? Why do Hyeongkon feels so small standing in front of the smaller guy, why does he feel weak to even look into his almost almond eyes, why does all he can do was stuttering his name when they were asked to introduce one another, and why do he feels his cheeks warm up when he saw the smile from him?

And even though it’s embarrassing, he admits that up till now he still hasn’t been able to look him into his eyes directly. How he doesn’t really know, the fact that they have known one another for more than three months already, and they have spent most of those months in each other company, training and practicing together, doesn’t really make all the strange feeling he has for the younger guy lessen in any way.

He can actually counted how many words or interaction they have exchange over the course of the time they spend together and most of the time their interaction happen when the other party initiate it, with him abruptly ended it with curt answer or replies and he scurrying away. It’s not that he doesn’t want to talk to Jaehyung, but he stutters when he speaks and he can practically feels the red blush creeping up whenever the other guy was close to him let alone speak with him.

He knows that with their debut date coming closer and as more members are added to the group the more he realize that he can’t continue to be like this, he needs to break any walls that he has created between him and Jaehyung, so that he can move forward, so they, and the rest of the group members can move forward.

And so that he can understand this damning wave of emotion he has over Jaehyung for good.

It was later that night, he had his opportunity, funny how fate can decide something fast for u, and leave u with no room to back out. Earlier in the evening they received the news about the delay of their debut date, everything stop when they received the news.

They were elevated from trainees to rookies when they got their debut date and was almost confirmed when they did their profile photo shoot and even set up what kind of image they are supposed to play in the group, they have spent more than two months practicing their debut song and perfecting the choreograph, but now it is almost as seem that they are back to square one all over again.

He could see the disappointment in his eyes, when their trainer announce the news of their debut being push backed indefinitely, he could almost feel the frustration and the wariness from him and he can only watch as they continues with their practice now with mush less enthusiasms unlike before.

Hyeongkon desperately wanting to walk up to Jaehyung and say something, something that could maybe cheer him up, or maybe just to check up to see if he is okay. He foremost wants to hug him and say it’s okay, just to reassure him that it will be okay.

But he didn’t, he just stay in the back, watching him from far, afraid of getting close, afraid of being rejected. Afraid that he might say the wrong word and make things worse. AFRAID… he is just too afraid.