*A guy should look at a girl the way Jongin looks at Kyungsoo*

Credits to owner of the pic

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Suho’s POV

Pregnant. Kyungsoo. Jongin. While I do feel happy for them, I found it very difficult to be excited about it. I knew all too clearly what it would cost the both of them. This pregnancy would definitely put some strain on their relationship, to say the least. And there were other questions to be consider. It was a huge responsibility for them to bear at such a young age. What was going to happen to the child when it was born? How are we going to keep the entire issue under wraps? What would happen to our comeback?

Sitting in the van and staring at the trees fly past as we travelled along the highway to the recording studio, I sighed inwardly. I was hesitant to tell the members about my friend’s story as I was uncertain as to whether he wanted it to be shared. All the secrets he confided in me. All the stories he told me. All the problems he complained to me. I didn’t want to betray that trust and understanding between us. Somehow I felt that I should get his permission before I told anyone anythings.

A friend of mine from my college days.

The first male I had seen pregnant.

A currently active idol group member.

Himchan.

We were roommates during our first year on campus. Since both of us belong to the school of music, we clicked well together and soon became good friends. Although we no longer roomed together from the second year onwards, we stayed close and kept in contact. Since we belonged to different majors, we had little mutual friends between the two of us so it was easy to speak to him about my problems in school. Whenever I was feeling down and wanted to speak to someone with no strings attached, Himchan would be the first person I turned to and vice versa. In the first semester of our third year, he confided in me that he had met the person of his dreams. Of course I was ecstatic for him; he was a good person and he deserved only to be loved. Bang Yongguk was his name. Every time Himchan brought up the topic of his boyfriend, I could see his eyes brightened up and his cheeks flushed a shade of red. I had always enjoyed whenever he came over to my room to share all those interesting stories of his date. We could go on for hours, just talking non-stop.

One day, he knocked on my door. When he entered, he didn’t seem like his usual bubbly self. While he did not look sad or upset, I clearly remember thinking that he looked somewhat guilty, as if he did something wrong. Turned out he was pregnant and the father was Yongguk. He was afraid to tell Yongguk as he didn’t want to ruin their relationship. I warned him that finding out the truth later on was much more hurtful and in the end, he took my advice and had a long talk with his boyfriend. Although Yongguk was weirded out by the fact that Himchan could even beome pregnant, he slowly came around to accept it. But that didn’t put an end to their problems. I could still remember all the nights Himchan came crying to my room. They fought over practically everything. Fom things as simple as whether to find out the gender of the baby to more serious issues like where the baby will go to as well as monetary constraints. Each time he would cry himself to exhaustion and fall asleep in my room. And each time, without fail, Yongguk would turn up at my door the next morning with an apology and sometimes, flowers. Later on, I learnt that through those fights and arguments, they grew to understand the meaning of love and sacrifice. However, all the fighting did cause Himchan a lot of stress. In the end he went into premature labour at 26 weeks of gestation, a whopping 14 weeks before the due date. Their little girl was born at 2 pounds and 9 inches through an emergency C-section. Thankfully, the precious baby was a fighter and beat the odds to survive and lead a normal, healthy life. The moment Yongguk saw the child, his earlier thoughts of giving her up for adoption dissipated in an instant. Now, the little toddler lived in the B.A.P dormitory with her fathers although Himchan’s mother was the primary caretaker when they had activities.

While this story had a happy ending, I was less certain about Jongin’s and Kyungsoo’s future. Or rather, I didn’t dare to get my hopes up to high. The circumstances were totally different. Back then, Himchan and Yongguk were not in the entertainment industry yet. Hence, they were able to keep the whole pregnancy under wraps with the help of baggy clothes and over-sized T-shirts. Money-wise, Yongguk worked as an underground rapper and Himchan worked as a clerk in an accounting firm. Their non-celebrity status allowed them to move freely around without the fear of people watching their every move. For Jongin and Kyungsoo, they were both idols. Though they did not have a ginormous fan base as compared to the more senior idol groups, they had a sizable number of followers and fans. Enough to crowd out the entire airport when they were there. It was definitely going to be difficult to keep this a secret. Even their relationship wasn’t much of a secret. Maybe the fans didn’t know the extent of their relationship but they sure did notice some chemistry between them. I had seen countless photos of skinship between the two of them on the Kaisoo tag on Tumblr alone. Who knows what other photos there were out there? Would they be able to guess this time round? Would they still be as supportive? Money was another issue. As idols, there was no one they could simply go out and look for a part-time job. Firstly, they were too easily recognisable and secondly, we were all bound to our contracts with SM Entertainment. How were they going to get the cash they would so desperately need?

Sighs. I worry too much. No wonder I was always teased to be the umma of the group.

I really wished Himchan and Yongguk would allow me to share their experience with Jongin and Kyungsoo at the very least. Heck, I wished that I could set up a meeting for the four of them.

Hmm. That sounded like a good idea.

Time to call an old friend.

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Jongin’s POV

In the dormitory

All Suho said was, “A friend from college.”

Before we got the chance to bombard him with the millions of questions in our minds, he was whisked away by Manager hyung to the recording studio. Today was Suho’s turn to record his solo for our newest album.

Once Suho was out of the house, the reality began to sink in. We were not alone. We were not a freak show. There were people just like us. We were normal! Out of pure happiness, I lifted Kyungie up and twirled him around.

“YA! Jongin ah! Be careful!!” Baekhyun and Chanyeol yelled from the side. I quickly placed him back on his two feets and smile sheepishly, “Oops. Sorry..” Kyungie just laughed and started clearing up the dishes. The two jokers quickly rushed to his side and chided him for working. I guessed I won’t be the only one being protective of Kyungie, which reminded me. Sehun. I caught Kyungsoo’s eyes and he seemed to understand what I was thinking immediately. He gave me a tiny nod of approval as I started to head towards the locked door. I paused outside the door and pressed my ears against the hard wooden surface. Snuffles? Was I hearing it right? Was he crying? What was going on?

“Sehun ah?”

“Go away.” Definitely crying. His voice was quivering and his lisp was more prominent than usual.

“Open up. Talk to me. We can talk it through.”

“I said, go away.”

“Come on. Open up. I’ll buy you  bubble tea.”

“No.” I sighed in exasperation.

“Fine, Sehun. Have it your childish way. You know what, I’ll just go ahead and text Luhan right now about your behaviour. Let’s see what he has to say about how immature you are being.”

The door flew open. “Don’t text him! I’ll open up!” Sehun’s flustered tear-stained face appeared in front of me. I shoved him back into the room and shut the door behind us. “Let’s talk.” He sullenly sat on the bed and folded his arms across his chest. “I have nothing to say.”

“Yes you do. Let’s start with why you are crying.”

He just sat there, maintaining the defensive posture and staring at nothing in particular. When I sat down beside him, he hurriedly turned his back to me. I waited. Somehow I knew that I had to give him a little time and space and allow him to bring down his defenses on his own. It took a full five minutes before he finally spoke.

“Jongin. It’s not that I am not happy for you two. Honestly, I am truly happy and excited for the baby. Yes, I did find it weird at first but it was no big deal. I accepted it rather quickly. It’s just that…. It’s just that all the couple talk, all the baby talk touched a raw nerve. A sore spot, you know what I mean? You guys were talking about babies and relationships and there were Baekhyun hyung and Chanyeol hyung being all jumpy and excited. Suddenly I just felt so alone. And all my previous grudges came flooding back. I hated that it did but it did. I started recalling how I was denied the chance to be with the one I loved. Why me? What did I do to deserve this? Don’t I deserve to be as happy as the rest of you? You knew how badly I wanted to be in EXO-M. You knew how desperately I pleaded with Lee Soo Man Seonsaengnim. I just want to be with Luhan. Was that too much to ask for?” He just broke down completely and buried his face into his hands. The more he spoke, the more he cried. His shoulders shuddered as he struggled to speak through his tears.

“You know, sometimes I really wonder how Suho hyung does it. How could he bear living so far away from Lay hyung while sharing the house with two other couples? Watching the four of you act so lovey-dovey, I feel so jealous and wronged. Why is it so unfair? Why don’t I get to experience the same joy and bliss? Talking on the phone every night just can’t compare to seeing him in person, Jongin. I miss him so much that it hurts. Some days the pain is easier to ignore but some days it hurts so bad that I just want to curl up in a ball and cry.”

My heart really went out for him. He was right. I did know. I knew how badly he pleaded to be placed into EXO-M. I saw how desperate he was, dropping to his knees and crying on the floor. I went with him to speak with Lee Soo Man Seonsaengnim that day and I witnessed how devastated he was. I should have known he was putting on such a brave front every day. I should have noticed the pain he was going through.  As he turned to face me, my heart really ached at the thought of what he had to go through. Having to watch us love on each other, all the while yearning for his better half, how horrible he must have left.

“Jongin. Stop. Stop thinking what you are thinking. That look on your face. I know that look. I don’t need your pity, Jongin. I am not telling you all this to make you guilty or for you to pity me. I am not saying all this to get you to stop loving on Kyungsoo hyung whenever I’m in the room. Will the pain go away if you do that? No. It’ll probably get worse because I know I was the cause of the awkwardness. So don’t even think about it. Kyungsoo hyung needs you now; don’t you dare treat him any less than he deserves. You understand?”

Dumbfounded, I was lost for words. He grabbed my shoulders and gave me a little shake. “Do you understand?”

I simply nodded.

“And don’t tell the rest. Especially Kyungsoo. I don’t want him feeling all responsible and sad.”

Ah… so that was why he locked himself here in the first place.

To protect Kyungsoo. To hide him from the ugly truth.

This kid. He had really grown up.

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Kyungsoo’s POV

In the kitchen

Looking at the two jokesters of the group talking excitedly away about a new baby, I couldn’t help but grin. At least all of them took it well. Well, almost all. I wondered how Sehun was doing now. Jongin went into the room about half an hour ago and had yet to emerge. I hoped they were having a much-needed heart-to-heart talk. Both being born in the same year, they had been close friends ever since their trainee days. If there was anyone that Sehun was comfortable speaking his heart to, it would be Jongin.

By the time Jongin emerged from the room, we had finished the dishes and had already shifted the living room to watch a variety show. I immediately rose to my feet and strode towards him, searching his face for clues as to what happened with Sehun. However, his face remained unreadable and gave nothing away. He just wrapped his arms around him and pulled me into a hug. Over his shoulders, I could see Sehun coming out of his room. As Jongin released me, Sehun walked up to me. He hung his head low and stared directly at the ground.

“Hyung. Sorry for my bad behaviour earlier. I wasn’t thinking right.”

“It’s ok, Sehun ah. Hyung is not mad.” I enveloped my arms around him.

“Thank you, hyung. And congrats on the new baby.” He gave a weak but genuine smile as he lowered his head on my shoulders.

Suddenly the house phone rang and we jumped out of the embrace. Jongin laughed at us ("you both look like deers in the spotlight!") before heading over to pick up the phone. His face quickly turned solemn and all traces of laughter disappeared from his face as he spoke on the phone. All I could make out was “Yes”, “I understand”, “Ok”. The phone only lasted about thirty seconds before he hung up.

“That was Lee Soo Man Seonsaengnim. He wants to speak to us.”

Oh crap.

“He is going to video call us so Chanyeol, grab your laptop out to the living room. Kyungsoo, sit here on the couch. Kyungsoo? Don’t zone out on me. Come on, honey. Deep breaths. It’s going to be fine.”

Pretty soon the whole “infrastructure” was ready for the video call. When Lee Soo Man Seonsaengnim’s face appeared on the screen, I thought I was going to have a full-blown panic attack. I needed time to think, to form my thoughts, to prepare. This was too soon! How was I going to face him like that? It was too abrupt!

“Hey guys.” A chorus of greetings soon ensued.

“So I am in America at the moment and I hear from my CEO that there had been some rather interesting news. Am I right, Kyungsoo ah?” At the sound of my name, I sat up a little straighter and nodded my acknowledgment. To my surprise, our chairman started chortling.

“Relax, my dear Kyungsoo. Look. I do wish none of this had happened; it would have saved us a lot of trouble. But why waste time trying to undo things that simply can’t be undone? Right? So focusing on the future, I hear from my CEO that you two had decided to go along with the pregnancy. Since he had voiced his approval to me, I trust his judgment. Pretty soon, Kyungsoo, you’ll not be able to do any vigorous dance routines. So during this pregnancy, I want you to focus on improving your vocals. The bad news is EXO’s comeback will have to be postponed. I was discussing with the board of directors earlier and we have decided to let Shinee do their promotions first. After which, F(X) may release a new album so that should buy you guys some time. I want you guys to stay out of the limelight as much as possible. Is that clear?

All five of us nodded in unison.

“Good good. I’ve got to go now for another meeting. Take care, you guys!” The screen went blank but we just sat there staring at the screen.

What just happened?

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A/N: Sorry to disappoint those who wanted Yixing to be the one Suho was talking about ><

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