It was not the kind of situation where you should fall in love. Certainly not when every day more and more of your friends were dying. Jonghyun told himself that the reason he kept coming back to Sungjong was mere physical need and desire. It was the one source of relaxation in a world that they had to constantly be on guard. When was the last time he had truly slept?

Even if they came back to each other again and again -- Jonghyun knew with certainty that he didn't want love. Maybe a part of him kept buried deeply knew that that line had been crossed so long ago. But tonight -- as he tried to pull away, to get up, to return to watch and Sungjong pulled him back and he was so weak to resist... He wanted to shove his hands away -- get up and just walk away. Something held him back.

Sleeping with Sungjong was a distraction. The love neither of them wanted -- it was a distraction. It was going to get them killed. He wasn't going to be stopping anytime soon, at least not for some time still. He wondered if he could fool himself forever -- if Sungjong could fool himself forever. Even if they could somehow find a place that they would be safe and not have to fear for their lives all the time there was still the thought in both their minds that the world would need to be procreated.

There was no place for them.

There would never be a place for them -- never was.

They didn't want love. They couldn't have love -- even if they did.

No matter what -- Jonghyun would pretend he didn't hear Sungjong utter those three words. He would pretend that his heart didn't echo them back. He would pretend until the end of time that he had already fallen asleep.