B r e a t h  o f  Li f e

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“You need to get laid” pointed out Himchan one day.

Youngjae was this close to chocking the elder. “What this has to do with my lack of inspiration?”

“Everything”, he gestured widely to get his point across. “You lack emotional attachment.”

“What?” a shriek full of disbelief.

“You know what I mean” he sent a judging look, which left Youngjae scowling. “It's springtime. Embrace it. Make some love~”

“I'm starting to lose faith in you. Really. Your stupidity astounds me”, he shook his head in disapproval.

Himchan dared to look offended. He pouted crossing his arms to prove a point. “I just know the right person who-”

“Oh no, you don't” a well aimed glare. “Save it. I don't want to hear it!”

Youngjae picked up his jacket and fled out of their shared apartment covering his ears. He really didn't want to listen any more. What was the point of it all?

He didn't need love or whatever it embodied. He only needed his inspiration back.

He breathed in the air that surrounded him, savouring it at the tip of his tongue. Accompanied by a warm breeze it never felt cleaner than before. He puffed out his cheeks in annoyance. A really nice day inside out.

Youngjae felt like a child again. His feet carrying him without any destination in mind. Streets were full of people with directions in mind, faces full of laughter or set in a straight line. They came in pairs, groups or even stood out alone, but none of them felt close. There weren't any similarities he could point out. Just a mass of tiny grey dots disappearing out of sight – colourless.

He stopped for a moment to look around. Eyes darting around in search for something. “There”, he whispered to himself. A small run-down café surrounded by looming trees, but it had a welcoming feel attached to it. “This will do” he smiled running his hand trough his hair as he stepped inside.

As expected, the inside wasn't that much better, but he felt at ease. This place breathed in the past, lived in the past just like Youngjae in his dreams. His fingers twitched, he felt the need to draw.

He took his sketchpad out of the bag he always carried around for a moments like these. They were sparse these days, but he tried to savour and bask in them as much as he could. In moments like these he felt truly alive and lacked nothing. Absorbed in his own world he let soft movements of the pencil lead him away - somewhere where he did belong.

Youngjae breathed in the scent of freshly brewed coffee and smiled. The bitter taste of it flooded his mouth, so warm and thick in richness. He felt like from the feeling of it in his mouth. He wasn't particularly crazed about it nor could call himself an addict – he wasn't Himchan. Far from that. It smelt of reassurance, a reminder – an unspoken promise.

And the most important of it all it smelt like Himchan. A smell you couldn't simply ignore, but embrace it with all it had to offer.

Contrary to his belief, that so called side-project wasn't an utter failure. He had to give some credit to his friend. They didn't earn a lot, but it was enough to buy any art supplies his heart craved. The story itself was simple to follow and centered around daily adventures of the cast. A bit childish at times, but the humour made up for that. They even had a decent amount of followers who bought their monthly issues and regularly sent fan mail with further suggestions or simply to express their undying love for the authors, which made Himchan's ego inflate even more.

“What's so interesting about a bunch of bunnies planning to take over the world?” he mumbled to himself pausing at one of the main characters, the leader of the group, he just finished drawing. He stared really hard at it, but quickly brushed it off. They were kind of cute. Each of them with different quirks and abilities, but unified by the same goal. Part of him felt envious at times.

Soft notes of piano keys played in the background as his hand moved with grace and skill only he possessed. He couldn't remember the last time he drew so much. It felt rather nice.

Youngjae cursed out loud and furrowed his brows when he felt his phone vibrate in the pocket of his jeans. Part of him tried to ignore it, but the curiosity got the better of him.

'Listen you punk. Don't you ever dare to walk out on me again. You hear me? Unless you want to sleep outside.'

Youngjae felt like sweating buckets. He frantically checked all of his pockets and even turned his bag inside out – no sign of keys. He spared a quick look at his watch and felt dread fill in his body. 'It's getting late' his mind screamed.

He almost yelled out loud when his phone went off again. Another text message.

“PS.: Buy me some coffee on your way back as a punishment. And it better be good. Or else.”

Youngjae stuffed all of his belongings back into his bag and sprang to his feet. It wasn't a first time Himchan locked him out. He learned this lesson the hard way and he certainly didn't want a repeat of that. Also coffee deprived Himchan was beyond creepy and borderline maniac.

He felt shivers running down his spine as he sped up his pace to go back home. 'Almost there' chanted in his head non-stop as his heart threatened to burst out any moment.

Youngjae breathed out as he stopped near their apartment door. He swallowed hard as he creaked the door open, sticking his head to scan the area for any potential danger.

“Do you have my coffee?”

He stuck his hand out through the gap of the door as an offering of piece; waiting for something – anything – to happen. He didn't dare to breath.

“Youngjae~”

“Y-Yes?”

“I was worried you know” a pout and some rustling could be heard inside. “You didn't even text me”

Youngjae bit the inside of his cheek as he stepped forward into the room. His head hung low in shame and embarrassment. “I'm sorry” he chocked out, sounding like a kicked puppy. “I just needed some time off, okay?”

“And...” a mouth scrunched up in distaste “Where exactly did you buy this coffee? It tastes like ”

A sheepish laugh “Right around the corner?”

Himchan threw his hands up in desperation ”Have I taught you nothing?”

“....”

“You little-”

“I can draw again.”

“Did you-” eyes wide and full of shock.

“What? No!” Youngjae flailed his arms to erase all unfounded accusations.

“I don't believe you” Himchan narrowed his eyes in suspicion, pointing his finger at his friend.

Youngjae stalked to grab his bag, his fingers rummaging through the contents and looking for a familiar sketchbook. “No. This can't be happening!” He felt like hyperventilating.

“Youngjae, what's wrong?”

“I can't find it!”

“What-”

And he was bolting out through the door again. He lost it. His sketchbook – the most precious possession. This couldn’t be happening. Not after he started drawing again. “Why now of all times?” he shouted at no one in particular.

Youngjae felt like a mess as he barged into nearly empty café he visited before. He didn't care about startled faces nor hushed whispers aimed this way as he looked around the same table for any signs of that blindingly yellow cover you can hardly miss. “Not there” a tight grip on the table leaving indents of his nails. His skin pricked in anxiety “Not here either!”

“Looking for this?”

All Youngjae could see was yellow. The same yellow cover of his sketchbook that was right into his face. He tried to grab it, hold on it for dear life, but it disappeared as soon as he reached his hands out.

“Give it back” he growled, his hands clenching into fists. “It's mine. Give it back!”

A full-blown smile “No”

“Why you-”

“You look like an angry kitten. So cute~”

“Can I have it back, please?”

“Not after I get my reward” a sly smile full of mirth.

Youngjae narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “What kind of reward?”

“Have some cheesecake with me~”

“What? Now?”

“Why not?”

Youngjae cleared his throat, calculating all the best options. It sounded harmless enough, right? It's only cheesecake. “Okay”

That blinding smile he received in turn made his stomach flutter in a weird way. He felt electrocuted. His senses heightened.

A hand was in front of him. “I'm Daehyun”

“I'm Youngjae” he stated. His hand by-passing the offer and going straight for his sketchbook placed on the table.

“Ah, ah~” the other laughed at his fruitless attempt. “It's not nice to cheat you know?”

A grumble. “When can I get it back?”

“Later~ “ a snicker followed by a chuckle. “Anyway” he paused to grab a bite of the cake “I made some small remarks and suggestions on your storyline. It lacked some depth.”

Youngjae felt murderous. “You did what?” his mind couldn't comprehend the fact that someone other than Himchan got a look at it, but he even had the guts to violate it. “Do you want to die?”

Daehyun ignored murdering aura radiating off in waves from his companion. He swallowed another bite as his tongue peeked out to the left side of his mouth. “I think I like you”

Youngjae ignored the red hue tainting his cheeks as he aimed a well practised punch to the smirking face, because he couldn't remember anyone who got under his skin so much. It made him tingle in all the wrong places and set him off so bad he felt like breaking things apart.

His body trembled as he cast another look his companion wiping off the blood. Youngjae smirked. No one messed around with him. Not even that pretty boy.

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Well, that escalated rather quickly. Hahaha

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