I felt myself changing. I was crying lesser every single night, I was having smaller patch of tear stains on my pillow, I was making lesser phone calls back home, I was having shorter and shorter conversations with my girlfriends.

I was changing, in fact, I have changed, to somebody I don’t even know. I began to realize that everyone would soon leave me and at the end of the day, all I had left is just me, myself and I.

Perhaps they did not leave me, I was the one that pushed them away actually.

I had broken all the promises. I changed my phone number. I stopped contacting them. I stopped contacting with my friends and even my family members. I didn’t want to have any interactions with them anymore, having them coming into my life and leaving after the phone call.

That just hurt me even greater and I had enough of feeling that way.

I lost hope, I lost faith, I lost everything I had back in Korea. I lost that cheerful, bubbly part of me. I lost a big portion of me, and had replaced with something I had no idea of. I was numbed with feelings of pain and sorrow, with disappointments and anger.

I’ve changed, I wasn’t that Ji Eun anymore.

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It was the same old routine at my new University, attending lecture and tutorials that I didn’t even have slightest interest in. But what I dreaded most were project works and class presentation. I USED to love interacting with people. Working in groups were my favourite since I loved giving them suggestions and ideas.

However, not anymore.

I hate seeing people ever since I came here. It was not that they had done anything wrong, but I just that I think they should leave me alone.

Because at the end of the day, they’ll still leave me and I’ll still be alone.

That was the day I swore to myself not to get attached to anyone, anymore.

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