Is it confusing? Past is in Italics font, and the present is the Normal font. Anyway sorry for slow updates, i still have two weeks of work and then i'm free~ Thanks for the new subscribers and comments! :D

Jongin went back the couch, plopping down and looked at the ceiling. Were they supposed to bring back the issue again? Jongin asked himself and pouted. He ruffled his hair and grabbed the couch pillow, hugging it tight. ‘this is all your fault Kim Jongin.’ He thought to himself.

“Hyung… i… I like you… no, I love you hyung…” kyungsoo mumbled while they were cuddled up on the couch while watching pororo. “hmm? Did you say something kyungsoo?” jongin asked as he was too engrossed with the cartoon. He was 15 that time and he was still watching that kind of shows. “I-I love you Jongin hyung!” kyungsoo shouted and Jongin looked at kyungsoo and ruffled his hair. “Awww~ I love my little brother also~” he cooed and hugged kyungsoo tight. Kyungsoo pulled Jongin away and looked at him. “No! I mean it Jongin hyung! I really love you! Not as a brother! Deeper than just a brother…” kyungsoo blushed and looked at jongin seriously. Noticing his big brother’s reaction, he backed up a bit. “No. We’re brothers kyungsoo. We can’t. I don’t love you like that. I’m sorry kyungsoo…” Jongin said and saw his little brother crying. Kyungsoo nodded and smiled weakly. “I guess it can’t be helped. I can’t force my feelings on you. Nevermind what I said hyung.” kyungsoo shook his head and buried his face on the couch pillow, sobbing silently. Jongin scooted closer and tried hugging kyungsoo again, but the latter stiffened and backed away more, not wanting any sort of contact with his big brother.

Jongin stood up and knocked on kyungsoo’s room. “Kyungsoo…” Jongin called kyungsoo but the other was not answering. He got the spare keys and opened it slowly, eyes softening as the sight of kyungsoo sleeping with dry tears on his cheeks caught his eyes. His little brother looked so fragile. He wanted to hug him but he knew his boundaries. He wasn’t allowed to step close to kyungsoo.

Jongin stepped back a bit, noticing his little brother wanting skinship. But it was just weird. Getting a love confession and rejecting it. Then noticing wants of skinship. It’s just awkward for Jongin. So he tried getting away from it.

“No. Kyungsoo. No.” Jongin said sharply. Kyungsoo started tearing up again. “Am I really that different… do you hate me that much now?” kyungsoo asked while sniffing. “Yes! I hate the fact that my little brother is gay. It’s not normal kyungsoo!” Jongin shouted. . He didn’t mean to say that. He was just trying to stop kyungsoo. He thought he went overboard. He didn’t hate his brother. He loved him actually. But it wasn’t like that of kyungsoo’s. Kyungsoo looked down, fisted his hands, tears falling out of his eyes continually. “Kyungsoo.. I’m sorry.. I didn’t mean—“ “Get away from me.” Jongin wanted to hug him, but that’s it. Their intimate relationship ended because of Jongin shouting at him. “You hate me right? Then I hate you too! Don’t ever come close to me. Ever! If it was even possible I don’t want to see you anymore!” kyungsoo cried and stomped out of the living room, leaving Jongin like a statue, thinking about what kyungsoo just said.

Jongin went back to the couch, leaving kyungsoo’s room open, remembering what happened next.

 Jongin woke up the next day, feeling their queen size bed missing something. He rolled, noticing that kyungsoo wasn’t beside him. He opened his eyes and looked around, frowning as he saw kyungsoo sleeping peacefully on the floor, his pororo blanket covering his legs. ‘So he really doesn’t want me going close to him.’ He thought in his mind. He went down and removed the blanket, trying to carry kyungsoo to the bed but at the same time, kyungsoo opened his eyes, seeing his brother close to him, holding his legs up. “Go away.” He muttered and pushed Jongin away, he got his blanket and left the room, leaving Jongin sighing on the floor.

Jongin sighed while he remembered that time, when their connection stopped, they talked less, almost none already. Somehow, he felt a little pang in his heart. He hugged the couch pillow tight. Then he heard several knocks on the door. He opened it and saw a tall guy smiling at him widely, pearly whites blinding Jongin. “Hello, sorry to intrude but is this Kyungsoo’s house? He asked me if I can come here and here I am.” The tall man blinked, looking at Jongin straight. “Ah, yes, this is Kyungsoo’s house, just go there… he’s sleeping, you can just wake him up.” Jongin nodded and the tall man bowed several times. “I haven’t introduced myself yet sir, I’m Park Chanyeol and I’m Kyungsoo’s bestfriend.” He smiled and strutted to kyungsoo room. Jongin closed the door, not wanting to look back at kyungsoo’s room. But he fidgeted, feeling weird at the atmosphere, he turned around and stepped away, opening the door again, a tear falling down his right cheek. Kyungsoo was crying again, now being cradled by his bestfriend, his arms wrapped around the tall man’s neck, his legs tangled on his bestfriend’s waist.

“Hyung!!” Kyungsoo cried and jumped on jongin, kyungsoo’s legs and arms wrapped around jongin’s waist and neck. “What’s wrong Kyungsoo?” he asked the his brother, patting his back. “Cockroach… in the bed…” kyungsoo muttered and tightened his hug, Jongin smiling like an idiot, looking at the toy cockroach on their bed.

Jongin ran out of their house, not wanting to cry anymore. Not wanting to continue seeing that sight.

He missed those times, when he was the one who used to carry kyungsoo like that, those times when he treated his little brother like he was the most fragile thing in this world.