You hadn't seen him for days. You left sometime in the middle of the week—you couldn't even remember when. He was worried about you, but you weren't talking. He had called several times, but you weren't picking up. You needed to break off all communication entirely—at least until you had got the guts to come home.

 

It had to have been your fault. He was always so careful, especially when it came to you. He treated you like glass. To him, you were so delicate that the moment he would touch you he was afraid you would break. Not because you were weak—because you meant that much to him. He told you he could always trust you. You would never let him down, but now you had. You were about to hurt him so bad that you weren't sure he would ever be able to look at you the same.

 

You knew you had messed up bad this time.

 

You had grown up in a very strict family. Everything down to eating with the wrong dinner fork was a crime in your household. You had perfect grades and you were the top of your class. You excelled in everything you did. You were an overachiever. He liked to tease you about it, but you didn't mind. You knew it was something that he loved so much about you, because he was the same way. But now you had made a mistake and there was no such thing in your family. Your father never believed in mistakes.

 

You hadn't only ruined your life, but his as well. His life would be over, too. What could you do? You wanted to run away. It would be the easiest thing to do. You would start a new life somewhere else and he could be free of you. He would be hurt at first, but he would learn to live without you. You knew it wouldn't be easy though. You were going to have to hurt him, and that was something that you didn't have the confidence to do. But, what other choice did you have? You couldn't tell him.

 

You couldn't tell him that you were pregnant. How stupid could you have been? You should have been more careful. You should have researched everything. How were you supposed to know that antibiotics would cancel out your birth control? You must have missed that part in education.

 

You had mentally prepared yourself for what you were about to do. This wasn't going to be easy, but it was for his own good. And for the good of your baby. How could your baby be happy when their appa would be so sad? He would have to give up everything he had worked so hard for. His fans would be outraged—they didn't even know about you, yet. The stress would be too much for him and he was already overloaded as it was. You couldn't do this to him. You had to make a clean break, for good.

 

You looked around the bedroom you shared with Hakyeon. You had already emptied the closet of your belongings and you were working on the dresser. He usually didn't come home from practice until late—you would be able to make it out before he got back. You quickly grabbed what you could from the dresser and shoved it into your suitcase before making your way to the bathroom to grab your things there. As you made your way around the apartment, you began to grab and pull down any photos of you and Hakyeon, removing any traces of you in the home.

 

It's better this way, you thought.

 

You zipped up your suitcase when you heard the front door open from your spot in the bedroom. Your body froze as fear began to consume you and you quickly struggled to the get the suitcase shut. You had to get out of here.

 

“Jagi??”

 

You heard him calling for you as his panicked footsteps made their way down the hall. You had no way to escape—you prepared yourself for Plan B.

 

You left your back facing the door and you zipped the last part of the suitcase up with a snap. You heard him come in and he rushed to your side, worry etched all over his features. You felt a pang of guilt but you ignored it. This was something that you had to do.

 

“Is everything OK??” He asked, his voice full of concern. He pulled you against him tightly, his head on the back of your head and that enough almost made you give in. You held your ground though as you placed your hands flat against his chest and pushed away.

 

“Please don't,” you said, your voice flat. He frowned at you.

 

“I.. Jagi, what's wrong? What happened? You've been gone for days—I thought something happened to you--”

 

“I got tired of being here all the time, Hakyeon. You're suffocating me.” You answered harshly. N blinked at you. You could see the hurt building up in his eyes and you had to look away to avoid it.

 

“I--.. I'm sorry, jagi...” he started. He was confused. “I'm just worried. You didn't answer my--”

 

“Yeah, I know.” You voice was short. It was killing you to treat him this way. “You called almost forty times, N.” You never called him by his stage name. The two of you agreed that that was reserved for his fans only.

 

He blinked once more at this, his eyes narrowing slightly in a mixture of anger and confusion. “What happened?” He asked again.

 

“Nothing,” you answered, emphasizing each syllable to get your point across. You grabbed the handle of your suitcase and heaved it off of the bed. The wheels hit the ground with a loud thud and N looked at it as though this was the first time noticing it.

 

“..What's that for?”

 

“I'm leaving,” you said simply. “I can't do this anymore, Hakyeon. It's too hard being your girlfriend.”

 

He glare at your words.

 

“We talked about this...” he said slowly. “You said you would be OK. You know I can't be here all the time and--”

 

“Yeah, I got it. I need someone who's more attentive than that.” Your words were harsh, but you kept up your act. You were surprised that you hadn't given in yet. You didn't think you were going to make it out but the further you got to the door, the more confident you became. You kept thinking that this was for his own good—it was the only way to keep you going.

 

“What's wrong you with??” He almost yelled. You blinked, startled. He never yelled. It must be working.

 

“First you say that I'm too suffocating..! Now, I don't see you enough??” He stared at you, his chest heaving as he tried to control his anger. His mouth hung open in confusion. He looked like there was something he wanted to say, but he couldn't find the words to say it.

 

“Stop yelling at me!” You said loudly. “See?! We're not good for each other anymore!”

 

“..What?”

 

You stared at him, your gaze hard. You kept your features void of emotion as your eyes bore into his. This was it. You had to do it now.

 

“I don't want you,” you said quietly. “I don't love you.”

 

He stared at you. His face fell as a look of betrayal engulfed him. His eyes searched yours desperately. His face hardened before he responded.

 

“You're lying.”

 

You blinked at him, surprised. How would he know that?

 

“I'm not lying, Hakyeon. I'm leaving,” you said as you began pulling your suitcase to the door. He met you at the doorway and snatched the bag from your hand easily, pushing it behind. He stared down at you, his jaw setting as his eyes searched your face.

 

“Yes you are,” he said simply. “Do you think I don't know you? I know you better than anyone. I know you better than your own parents do. Why are you lying to me?”

 

“I--..” You felt yourself starting to panic and you put a hand over your stomach to try to calm your nerves. You couldn't get sick, not while he was standing here.

 

“Tell me again that you don't love me,” he said.

 

“Stop,” you whispered finally. You stared up at him, tears b your eyes.

 

“No,” he said sharply. “Tell me you don't love me.”

 

“Stop!” You begged him desperately. He wasn't supposed to react like this. He was supposed to just let you go.

 

“You obviously can't say it, ____-ah!” He said angrily. “What makes you think you can come in here, pack your bags and just blatantly lie to me__!”

 

“I'm pregnant!” You practically screamed and your eyes widened, your hand going over your mouth in shock.

 

No. No. No.

 

It was all over now. You had ruined everything for him. Silence followed as you both stared at each other with wide eyes. He watched you, completely dumbfounded and you couldn't take the pressure much longer.

 

You turned away quickly, trying to make your escape but he grabbed your wrist and pulled you back. He stared down at you, his expression still confused but he finally spoke.

 

“You're... pregnant?” He whispered. You watched him momentarily before nodding slowly.

 

“I'm sorry....” you said quietly. “I-I'm gonna leave...”

 

He shook his head and pulled you in to a hug. He turned his face against your shoulder to hide himself in your hair. You heard him take a shaky breath next to your ear before pulling back. He put a hand on either side of your face and he looked down at you seriously.

 

“Is that why you disappeared?” He asked. You nodded, not looking at him.

 

“And why you said all of those hateful things?” You hesitated but nodded again. You had already lost. There was no point in pretending now.

 

He sighed and pulled you back in for another hug. “That's a relief,” he breathed.

 

You frowned and pulled back, looking up at him. “What...aren't you upset?” you asked.

 

He frowned down at you, his expression mocking yours. He shook his head slowly. “I'm not mad...” he said. “I'm scared, but I'm not mad.”

 

You dropped your head at his words, tears threatening to spill from your eyes. He was scared. This was going exactly the way you thought it would.

 

“Hey...” he said as he pulled your face back up to his. “I'm scared because I'm afraid I'll mess up. It has nothing to do with you, or VIXX, or anything. Just.. I don't want to screw things up. I want you to be proud of me.”

 

You stared up at him in disbelief. “Oppa, I'm always proud of you,” you said. Didn't he already know that?

 

He smiled lightly down at you. “We can do this, OK? You can't run away from me. You need to trust me.”

 

You nodded. You covered your mouth as you let a sob of relief escape your throat and he pulled your face to his chest. He held you there with both of his arms wound tightly around you. You were going to be OK. He was going to be OK.

 

“I love you, jagiya..” he whispered. “I could never hate you.”

 

You nodded against his chest. You believed him. You were going to have a new family with the man you loved with all of your heart.

 

This was really going to be OK.