“Stop fidgeting,” she pushed his shoulders down and very carefully secured the flower in his hair, “there. All done.”

He jumped to his feet and ran around the flowerbed. Today was the day—his Initiation, and he could barely contain his excitement.

“Would you calm down?” She pulled him to her lap and secured him between her arms before his feet would lift off the ground.

“Mother,” He squirmed, “let me free, I want to fly!”

“And ruin the flowers in your hair? Certainly not. You have to look your best in front of The Council.” She tucked some loose strands of his blonde hair behind his ear, “now, tell me, why are you so eager to be amongst humans? Your sisters were never as enthusiastic as you.”

“Because they fascinate me, Mother.”

“They can also be very frightening, don’t forget I told you that.”

“Yes, but I can find love in their world.”

“That is, if you look hard enough.”

“And when I look hard enough and find love for you, you can grant me my wish!” He says with a bright smile, and Lady Valentine smiles sweetly in return.

“ And what is it that you wish for, Donghae?”

He smiles even wider at the mention of his human name, “I don’t know,”

Bells rung in the distance, and feathers were strewn as everyone flew in a rush to gather for the annual Initiation.

“But it’s going to be something amazing, I can tell.”

- - -

Love sees Sorrow in the distance,
“Sorrow! Sorrow! Will you please row back for me?”
“I wish to be alone in my grief,” He replies,
“leave me be,” and rows away.

- - -

“Hyukjae, are you okay?”

He stared at the shards of glass spread out on the floor before him and bit back a sigh. Customers glanced and whispered from their seats. That was the fourth cup this week.

“Yes, sir. I’m fine, just a bit…distracted, I guess.”

His boss eyed him from head to toe, contemplating because Hyukjae was arguably one of his best waiters. It was unusual for him to make such trivial mistakes—continuously at that.

 “Maybe you need some time off, kid.”

“No, sir! I’m fine, really. I’ll be extra careful from now on.”

“Hyukjae, you’ve been breaking glasses left and right, tripping over nothing while holding trays, and talking to customers who are not even there. You’re obviously not ‘fine’, as you put it. Now, I say you have the afternoon off and don’t you dare take my kindness lightly.”

He nodded with his head hung low, a far cry from the usual playful banter he would have with his boss.

“Now, get going!” He took the tray in his hands and shoved Hyukjae out the door, “your gloomy atmosphere is infecting my entire restaurant!”

“Sir, wait! I--”

He slammed the door before Hyukjae could say anymore. The old man shook his head with a worried sigh as he watched him stalk away and hated the feeling of seeing such a cheerful guy look so depressed.

- - -

Five days.

It’d been five days since the last time he’d seen even a strand of Donghae’s hair and he thought that maybe this was what it felt like to go insane. Or have your heart broken.

Hyukjae walked dejectedly along the streets, narrowly missing a group of tourists and a lamppost as he unconsciously made his way to the Fontana Di Trevi. The familiar sound of rushing water made his heart clench and he dropped down on the exact same spot he sat before—only this time, without Donghae’s warm hand wrapped around his.

‘Good morning, Sleeping Beauty.’

‘Kibum? Where am I?’

‘You’re right in front of your apartment. You were pretty knocked out.’

‘Where’s—’

‘And if you’re looking for your little boyfriend…’

He stared up at the sculptures by the fountain; as if looking at them long enough would make Donghae magically materialize before him. He clenched his fist, buried his head between his knees and groaned loudly.

No matter how hard he tried, he saw him in everything. At work, he would glance at the table in the corner where he usually sat, only to find it empty. On his way home, he would see a double-decker bus roaming the streets and he would hear his laughter ringing in his ears all the way to his apartment. In the countless stores that sell gelato along the streets, the dogs taken out for walks along the sidewalk, the cars that zoomed by, the sun that was as bright as his hair that day…Donghae was everywhere, yet nowhere at the same time.

And it frustrated Hyukjae because this wasn’t supposed to bother him as much as it did. He had jobs to juggle, money to earn, bills to pay and groceries to buy. He had no time to waste worrying about this amazing guy who was both adorable and y, and quite obviously the biggest mystery he’d ever come across.

His instinct told him to stay away because Donghae was obviously not normal.

‘…he said that he was sorry.’

Yet here he was, still unable to get rid of that silver of hope that sparked every time dogs started barking, or the restaurant door opened, or even at the mere sight of a head of brown hair in a sea of people.  He still visited the fountain everyday, still sat at the piano for almost an hour after his shift, hoping to hear Donghae’s voice or see Donghae’s smile.

Hoping to know that he still feels the same way.

‘It was a mistake.’

 A mistake, he said?

What was a mistake?

Crossing the road for a juice box? Standing in the middle of it frozen like an idiot? Or forgetting to mention that ‘by the way, I love walks along the beach, watching the sunset and flying a hundred feet in the air with these giant wings that sprout out of my back when I need them’? Because Hyukjae couldn’t think of anything else that was a ‘mistake’ since he was convinced being with Donghae was probably the only thing he’s ever gotten right.

He’d been in a relationship before—she was a nice girl, pretty, talented—but after almost a year, Hyukjae could no longer continue lying to himself about how ‘well’ they matched and decided to end it for both their sakes. Time with her was pleasant, she was neither whiny nor clingy and Hyukjae supposed he was grateful for that. But after a whole day with her, he would always find himself more tired than giddy, and clearly, there was something wrong there.

Time with Donghae, on the other hand, was just so…easy. He didn’t speak much at first, but his silence left room for Hyukjae’s thoughts—he felt he could tell him everything. Then he gets to know Donghae and finds out he has the most adorable unconscious tendencies, the loudest, most embarrassing laugh (because it was so easy to make him laugh) and his eyes, god, his eyes.

‘You should forget about him.’

Hyukjae scoffed. Like hell he could.

- - -

He cursed as he fumbled with his keys, his vision blurry and head throbbing. He’d fallen asleep on the stony steps in front of the fountain, and opened his eyes to a guard shaking his shoulder and a few tourists behind him, taking photos with amused grins on their faces.

“It’s the one with the Eifel tower keychain attached.”

Hyukjae looked to his right and saw his neighbor sitting in front of his doorstep, beer bottle in hand. “Uhm, right. Thanks, Kibum.”

He fumbles again and felt for where the Eifel tower was attached, all the while sensing Kibum’s scrutinizing stare. Hyukjae was used to it by now, his neighbor already made it part of his routine to sit outside his apartment every night and drink. He would be there every time Hyukjae came home from work, but they never really spoke.

“You’re still looking for him, aren’t you?”

Hyukjae froze midway through his door. “What?”

“That little brunette who dropped you off last week. Your boyfriend, is it?”

“I…yes.” He cleared his throat; a little surprised Kibum suddenly started making conversation. “Yes, I’m sure he’ll come around.”

 Moments passed in silence before Kibum let out a heavy sigh and set his bottle down beside him. “You should just give it up, Hyukjae.”

Hyukjae frowned, not liking his tone of voice. “What makes you say that?”

“Relationships…” He takes a swig of beer, “they’re only going to bring you down.”

 Hyukjae considered himself to be a nice guy. He’s polite, relatively friendly and actually has a pretty good sense of humor. But Hyukjae was tired, sleepy, his head ached and he hadn’t seen his boyfriend in days with barely any explanation so he couldn’t help but snap.

“And what makes you think you know about relationships, Kibum? You don’t look capable of caring for yourself, what more another person? There is value in being with someone, caring for them and being cared for in return—and I don’t think you understand that.”

“Oh, but you’re the one who doesn’t understand.” He slurred slightly, “all this…trouble you put yourself through—it’s not worth it. Donghae isn’t any exception.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” Hyukjae steps through his door and decided he’d had enough, “good night.”

It wasn’t until he was settled in bed, staring unseeingly at his ceiling that night that Hyukjae realized he’d never told Kibum his boyfriend’s name.

- - -

It’d been days—how many, Hyukjae wasn’t sure—that he still waited at the fountain, by the piano, roamed the streets and visited those cafés in hopes of seeing him again. Every time, he would look for him with enthusiasm, and visit those places with an eager grin, only to leave hours later with his shoulders slumped and head hung low.

That night had been no different.

After hours of roaming and asking around if people had seen anyone that fit Donghae’s description, Hyukjae arrived at his apartment with a heavy heart. He ignored the disapproving shake of Kibum’s head and scurried inside.

He dragged himself to bed, tucked himself under his sheets and closed his eyes, praying for sleep to come easily that night.

.

.

.

.

Rustling.

He frowned and turned in his sleep, burying his face in his pillow. Hyukjae had always been a light sleeper.

More rustling.

Had he forgotten to close the windows again? He groaned and pulled his blanket closer.

A hiccup.

Hyukjae’s eyes snapped open and he sat up, ready to pummel whoever dared trespass his apartment but instead met the pair of wide eyes he’d been longing to see all this time.

“Sorry,” Donghae smiles sheepishly, “I hiccup when I’m nervous.”

He didn’t know whether he wanted to laugh or cry first because Donghae was actually here in his apartment, sitting across him on his bed. Hyukjae stared openly, taking in the sight of Donghae and biting his lip to contain his surprise at his blonde hair. He didn’t want to scare him away a second time.

Hyukjae’s eyes roamed his face, zoning in on the tears that began to pool and lifted his hand. Donghae closed his eyes, anticipating gentle thumbs to wipe away his tears but instead got a hard flick on his forehead.

“Ow!” He yelped, “Hyukjae! What--”

“You idiot!” He growled before pulling Donghae into a tight hug that had him almost suffocating and buried his face in the blonde tresses, “where have you been?!”

It seemed that Donghae fooled himself into believing that days of following Hyukjae around in the shadows and watching him from rooftops would be enough for him. But being with Hyukjae now, having his arms wrapped so tightly around him and feeling his heartbeat against his chest, Donghae realized how foolish that was.

He was close to finding love; he could feel it was close when he saw Hyukjae smile and felt Hyukjae’s hand wrapped around his but Donghae just had to ruin it. He just had to break one of the most important rules, and now…

“Are you not afraid?” He asks Hyukjae, whose grip around him was slowly getting tighter.

“Afraid?” He mumbles into his hair, “Afraid of what? Afraid of you?” he says with a scoff.

“Yes.” Donghae answers in a small voice.

“You really are an idiot.” Hyukjae frowns when he feels him trying to pull away, “Donghae, please! Please…let me stay like this for a while. I’m not going to deny that I have a lot of questions and confusion, but right now, I’m just…really happy to see you. I’ve missed you, Donghae.”

Donghae freezes in his embrace, his shoulders tense and unmoving. Hyukjae coaxes him, tentatively his back and trying not to flinch at the feel of strong wings and feathers rooted in the middle. “Hey…”

“Hyukjae,” He feels Donghae curl into him, his voice thick with tears. “Hyukjae…” He drops his head onto his shoulder, both hands fisted on the front of his shirt. Donghae’s soft sobs are muffled and Hyukjae panics slightly because he’d never seen Donghae cry, nor has he heard him sound so broken.

“Hey…” He pats his hair, “hey, it’s okay. What are you sobbing about, you crybaby?”

“Hyukjae, I…” Donghae whispers and if not for their close proximity, he would not have heard him. “I came here to erase your memories.”

What?

No, no, that’s not right.

That’s not what Donghae was supposed to be saying.

Donghae was supposed to be apologizing for his disappearance, he was supposed to be talking about how much he missed him, how much he regretted leaving without so much as an explanation and Hyukjae would forgive him and then, maybe… they could just forget it all happened…

“It is not right for you to know.” He says between sobs, “it is easier this way.”

Suddenly, Hyukjae feels angry.

“Easier?” He almost shouts and Donghae is shaken because he’s never seen him this way. “Is that what you take me for? Someone who always opts for what’s easier? I wouldn’t be here working my off halfway across the world if I wanted things easier! I wouldn’t have even asked you out if I wanted things easier!”

“Hyukjae, you don’t understand--”

“No, Donghae, I understand perfectly. You’re ready to throw away what I think can grow into something beautiful, the only thing I thought I’ve finally gotten right. You don’t feel the same way, I get it.” Hyukjae looks away, willing his voice to steady. “I get that much.”

“Don’t say that!” Donghae’s tears flowed uncontrollably down his cheeks, “don’t say that…it’s not true, don’t say that!”

They sat on the bed in silence, chests heaving as Hyukjae stared at him intensely.

“If that really isn’t true,” He takes Donghae’s head between his hands and they’re so close Donghae can feel his breath wafting over his lips, “Then tell me…”

Donghae waited for him to finish but then Hyukjae’s mouth is on his and he wasn’t sure how to think anymore. The kiss was angry but passionate and when he felt Hyukjae tilt his head and his lips move sensually against his, Donghae felt so lightheaded he thought he would faint.

His grip on his arms was tight and Donghae wasn’t sure what compelled him to do so, but he began to move his lips against Hyukjae’s, responding to the sinful kiss. He followed his movement, feeling a shiver of excitement as Hyukjae’s hands move from his face to his neck and his lower back, pulling him impossibly closer. Donghae