"Jung-A, you're getting better and better every day. Keep it up ok?" Doctor Kim said to me.

I've been in and out of the hospital because I have a weak heart. I need to visit Doctor Kim every now and then to check my status. Thankfully good results are coming out.

 

"Can I attend school now?" I'm not attending school for few days now and my friend May helps me on catching up.

Doctor Kim didn't reply for a while. Seems like I wouldn't be able to attend school and need to rest more.

"It's ok if I you wouldn't allow me. I know it's for good." I replied and smiled to lighten the mood of Doctor Kim because I've been asking him the same question every time I visit him.

"Can I talk to your mom for a sec?" Doctor Kim asked so I immediately headed out of his office and waited for my mom outside.

 

"Seems like Jung-A really misses going to school, right?"

"Yes but I know her condition is getting worse each and every day." Jung-A's mom said trying to keep the water in her eyes steady.

"Don't worry. I will call you as long as there's an available slot for her. Don't lose hope. She'll have a healthy heart soon." Dr. Kim said not missing a single hopeful tone in his voice.

"By the way, the reason why I wanted to talk to you is I have a friend who's in homeschooling program. Since Jung-A really wants to study; I want to offer this to you. I think it would really help Jung-A with her studies." Dr. Kim said and passed a paper to Jung-A's mom.

"Thank you for this Dr. Kim. Anything else you need?"

"Nothing. See you again next week." Dr. Kim said and bowed.

 

Jung-A is not aware about her condition. Dr. Kim and her mom keep it a secret. Her mom signed a paper wherein she wants to give Jung-A a new heart via undergoing a heart transplant. She’s been keeping this from Jung-A from the very start. She’s still searching for the right time to come wherein Jung-A is ready to accept her condition.

 

“Mom what’s this?” Jung-A asked showing the paper Dr. Kim gave to her mom.

“Oh, Dr. Kim gave that to me. Since you are not that ready to go back at school, I want you to have this kind of program.”

“Is this necessary? I could ask May to visit every now and then to tutor me.” Jung-A replied while reading the paper.

“It is dear. I want you to be a less burden to May. She’s also studying and I bet she’s having a hard time too.”

Jung-A nodded, accepting the offer of her mom.

 

My mom enrolled me to this homeschooling program and next week my tutor will visit me and start tutoring me. I’m excited and nervous at the same time because it’s my first time doing this. My school also allowed me to do it but told me that during exam days, I need to physically go there and take it. I hope Dr. Kim would allow me to do it.

 

“Jung-A, your tutor is here.” Mom called out and I went out of my room and saw my tutor. I immediately bowed at him and smiled.

“Hello. My name is Sung Jung-A. Nice to meet you.” I bowed again.

My tutor smiled and his smile is the prettiest.

“Hello Jung-A. I’m Joong-ki. Song Joong-ki. Let’s be good friends ok?” he said and did that eye-blinding smile again.

His teeth are the prettiest and his face looks so smooth and so white. He’s like an angel from above.

I was interrupted with my thoughts when he asked me where my room is.

“Ah... my room is upstairs.” I quickly replied and pointed at the stairs.

When Joong-ki went upstairs, Jung-A rushed immediately to her mom.

“Mom, did you really get him as my tutor?”

“Of course. He’s Dr. Kim’s cousin. Don’t worry he’s harmless dear. He’s just going to help you ok?” her mom replied calmly.

Jung-A went upstairs with a trembling heart. Though she has male friends at school, this one feels different because it’s been a long time since she had a conversation to her male friends.

As I stepped my foot at the last step, I saw Joongki standing at the hallway looking around and he found me.

“I’m sorry if you have to wait. This is my room.” I said and he followed me inside.

“Your room has a balcony?” he asked.

I nodded. “I need fresh air because I have a weak heart.” I added.

He nodded and smiled again. “Let’s start.” He said.

He grabbed the stool for my vanity desk and sat beside me on my study table. He’s a good talker and he’s smart. I didn’t know that he’s like this. He’s near to the word perfection.

It took us 8 hours to finish and we had a rest time. My mom brought us some food and we hang out on the balcony.

We talked about our life and he asked me about my condition. I told him everything and suddenly, I feel safe and secured around him. I mean, we only met earlier and he’s like a really old good friend to me.

 

It’s my day for check-up and my mom drove me to Dr. Kim’s clinic and we did the same routine again.

Dr. Kim finished examining me and gave me a smile. I remember his cousin’s smile and suddenly my mind went blank again and lost with hundreds of thoughts.

“Jung-A, how’s your tutor?” Dr. Kim asked and as soon as I heard the word ‘tutor’ I came back to reality and looked at him.

“Oh, Joongki.. He’s good. I didn’t know that he’s so smart” I replied and smiled.

“He loves being praised.” Dr. Kim replied and chuckled.

 

We drove back home and I saw Joongki already in front of our house. My heart skipped a beat and my hands got cold again. Same feeling when I saw him for the first time.

Mom noticed him too and waved at him while driving and he smiled again. That smile......

 

 

April 25, 2010 [Exam Day]

Joongki drove me to my school and he keeps on reminding me on the things and stuffs that I often forget.

“Just stop asking me those questions. I might forget them.”

He continues. Like he didn’t hear what I just said.

“YAH SONG JOONGKI!” I slightly shouted.

He stopped and looked at me with big round eyes. Trying to keep my laugh, I bit my lower lip.

“Stop asking me questions. We’re already here.” I said and got off.

We walked to my assigned room. I feel so nervous and I think I’m about to faint.

“Keep those things in your mind ok? Just give your best and I’m sure the results will be definitely good.” Joongki said trying to brush my anxiety away.

My hands are starting to get cold because of too much nervousness running into my veins when suddenly Joongki held my hand and smiled.

“They say when you hold the hand of a nervous person; you’ll able to keep the person’s nervousness away.” He explained and held my hand tighter.

I can feel my cheeks burning and turned into a color that often comes up in my face.

We were already called and he let go of my hand and told me that he’ll be waiting outside.

 

After 1 hour and 30 minutes, I finally went out with a smile on my face. Before meeting Joongki, I looked for May first.

“Maaaaaaay!!!” I squealed once I saw her.

“Jung-A!” she saw me and ran towards me.

“I miss and miss and miss and miss and miss youuu!!” I hugged her too.

“How come you’re able to make it?” May asked breaking the hug.

“I was enrolled on a homeschooling program and my tutor helped me.” I explained and I can feel my cheeks burning again.

May chuckled. “I bet he’s a good tutor and maybe a good man for you.” May joked.

“Eyyy! Stop joking. He’s older than me though.” I replied with a tone of disappointment.

“Then why do you sound so disappointed? Haha! Don’t hide it. I think he’s a good man. Look, it’s been months since you had a crush right?”

I thank God for giving me this smart girl as my friend. She knows everything about me that I couldn’t even hide something from her.

“May, he’s just a tutor and a good oppa for me.” I replied.

“Nuh-uh! Not going to believe you. You said that to me 3 months ago when you saw Chulsoon.” May teased.

“Who’s Chulsoon?” A familiar voice came out and when I looked around, it’s him... Joongki.

May looked at him and Joongki greeted May with that heart-melting smile.

“My name is Joongki and I guess you are May right?” Joongki said.

May was lost. I can see it in her eyes. She’s also flabbergasted on Joongki’s aura.

 

On our way home, Joongki is throwing so many questions about my test.

“I did my best. I think the results will be out next week. Wish me luck”

Joongki nodded. “Would you like to go for a walk first?” He asked.

 “I can’t. Dr. Kim told me that I can-”

“Dr. Kim told me that I can’t go to crowded places. I can’t go here. I can’t go there. How can you enjoy life if you always follow the words of my uncle?” Joongki blurted out.

Shocked. I am shocked.

“Because my condition is getting better that’s why I need to take more care with myself.” I replied.

“I’m here. I can take care of you.” He replied.

Did I hear it right? He’s going to take care of me. It sounds so good to my ears.

“I mean... we will not do things that could be harmful to your heart. We’ll just have a walk.” Joongki explained.

I chuckled and nodded.

We had a walk. We watched the sun go down. Joongki brought some Ice Cream and cotton candy, my favorites. We talked again.

“Can I ask you something?” Joongki said.

“Sure. As long as it doesn’t have any concern about my exam earlier.”

“Did you ever love a man?” Joongki asked looking straight into my iris.

My mind went absolutely blank. I am lost of words. My throat went dry and drier every second. How can he ask such question?!

“I...... I haven’t” I finally found the exact words to say and lowered my head to avoid his gaze.

“Don’t worry. I haven’t loved a woman too. I’m too afraid to be in love.” He explained.

“Why?” WHY did I ask him WHY?!

Joongki chuckled. “I’m afraid to be hurt and I’m afraid to hurt the person I love.”

That’s deep... but meaningful.

“Let me take you home now. I bet your mom is already worried about you.” Joongki said and helped me to get up.

While he’s driving, I decided to take a nap.

“I love you Jung-A... I love and love and love and love you Sung Jung-A”

“I will only love Jung-A... Will you able to love me too?”

 

 

“Dr. Kim, how’s Jung-A’s condition?” Jung-A’s mom asked.

“She’s stable now. Her heart beat is normal. She’ll wake up sooner or later. Don’t worry Mrs. Sung. Your daughter is strong.” Dr. Kim replied and pats her shoulders.

 

“Uncle, the nurse told me that you’re looking for me.” Joongki said as he walks inside Dr. Kim’s office.

“YOU CRAZY BASTARD!!!”

Joongki received an unexpected punch from his uncle. He fell on the floor, his side lip bleeding.

“DO YOU KNOW HOW CRITICAL HER CONDITION IS?! SHE’S ABOUT TO DIE RIGHT THERE!!”

Dr. Kim shouted once again and grabbed Joongki’s collar, delivered a punch on Joongki’s face again.

Joongki looked at his uncle with tears flowing in his face.

“I signed there..... I put my name there while she’s at ICU... I want to do it uncle... It’s the only way I can help her... The one I love” Joongki said but Dr. Kim couldn’t understand what he’s saying.

“What are you talking about you signing your name?!” Dr. Kim asked.

[FLASHBACK]

“Uncle, can you introduce me to that patient of yours?”

“Who? Jung-A?”

 I nodded. “I have a crush on her since she’s a little, when they used to be our neighbors.”

Uncle chuckled. “She’s a fighter and an angel you know?”

“That’s why I like her. I want to help her uncle.”

Since I wanted to help her, I enrolled myself in this homeschooling society wherein they trained me on how to become a homeschooling teacher. I have to give up my medical profession and continue this path so that I’ll be able to help her, Jung-A.

I spend day and night to study and thankfully, I was accepted and ready to be a tutor.

The moment I received my certificate, I told my uncle about it and told me that he’s going to help me. When Jung-A’s mom came to my office, I was so glad and from that time, I knew that I’ll fall for her daughter even more.

But during the consultation days before meeting Jung-A, her mom spilled all her heart aches to me. She told me that Jung-A needs a heart transplant in able to survive. She only have 5 months left. I was so hopeless but my uncle told me that they are waiting for a donor and while waiting, I entered his life.

 

We spent each day together, learning things together, eating together and laughing together. Day by day, I fell in love with her even more. I feel so happy whenever she smiles and laugh. It’s the most wonderful sound I have ever heard in my life.. My love laughing.

 

During her exam, I went to the school’s chapel and prayed for her. I saw her best friend May. Meeting her friends made me happy too. I feel like we’re getting closer and closer but I don’t want to rush things. I checked my calendar and saw that next month will be her last month. If there are no donors, I will lose her. We will lose her. My love...

 

I decided to tell her everything but I’m a coward. I’m afraid that her feelings would change. I’m afraid that she will not laugh and smile the way she used to be if I’m going to tell her that I love her. I ended up asking if she ever loved a man. I didn’t expect her answer was NO. I was quite surprise and happy at the same time. My mind keeps on telling me that I should spill everything but my heart... My heart is a coward... I’m a coward.

I decided to take her home since it’s already getting dark and afraid that her mom would scold me. So I drove and she told me that she’s going to sleep. I kept on glancing her checking if she’s already asleep. I called her name few times to really check is she’s deep asleep. Finally, I had the courage to let out my feelings...

 

“I love you Jung-A... I love and love and love and love you Sung Jung-A”

“I will only love Jung-A... Will you able to love me too?”

 

I hope she heard those words. I hope she will able to accept me. I hope she won’t change.

Every night before I go to sleep, I always pray for that donor to come so that she’ll be able to survive. So that I’ll be able to see her stronger. So that I’ll be able to see her smile and laugh even more... My Love.

 

“Jung-A, we’re here.”

I unbuckled my seat belt and called her once again. “Jung-A... Wake up. We’re here already.”

I thought that she’s sleeping deeply so I decided to just carry her.

But when I unbuckled her seat belt, I heard no pounding sounds on her chest. I checked her pulse... No pulse. Her heart stopped breathing.

I immediately drove her to the hospital and saw my uncle.

“UNCLE!!!” I shouted carrying Jung-A on my trembling arms.

My uncle turned around and saw me carrying a lifeless Jung-A. He immediately pulled his crew and rushed Jung-A in the ICU.

 

I called Jung-A’s mom and kept saying sorry to her. She was so pale when she arrived. She seems lifeless too.

“I’m sorry” I said wiping my tears.

“It’s not your fault. She has a weak heart.” She said while tears are coming down.

Hours and hours passed by and my uncle is not going out. I stood up and went to his office.

“Where’s the list?” I asked the nurse outside his office.

“What list?” The nurse replied.

“The list of donors.”

The nurse shook his head and told me that she’s not going to give me the list.

“GIVE ME THE ING LIST OR I WILL GET YOU FIRED RIGHT AWAY?!!!!!”

She’s powerless. She quickly pulled out the paper on the drawer and a pen.

With a pair of shaking hands, I wrote my name on the list.

Song Joongki

 

--

 

There was a knock on the door. Joongki’s lip was still bleeding and Dr. Kim helped him to stand up.

“Fix yourself.” Dr. Kim ordered and Joongki followed.

“Come in.”

The nurse came in and looked at Joongki and then Dr. Kim.

Joongki went out of the room and passed by the nurse.

“Doctor Kim... We have a donor for Ms. Sung Jung-A.”

Dr. Kim smiled in relief and the nurse handed him the paper.

 

 

1 year later

“Congratulations Jung-A!!” May squealed and hugged her friend.

“Thank you.” Jung-A replied with a bright smile on her face.

“So... Where are you going after this?” May asked.

“Jung-A, Dr. Kim is here.” Jung-A’s mom interrupted and Jung-A immediately ran to hug Dr. Kim.

“Whoa! Now you can run like a cheetah because you have a healthy heart.” Dr. Kim commented and they both laughed.

“I thought you’ll never make it Dr. Kim!” Jung-A said while hugging him.

“Who told you that? I won’t be absent on this very special occasion.”

 

“We’re going to start!”

 

Jung-A was wearing a very beautiful white gown. Her hair is tied beautifully. Her face has a splash of pink. She’s smiling.

At the end of the aisle, there’s a man standing looking at Jung-A. He smiles beautifully. His teeth are the prettiest.

 

“Song Joongki, take this ring as a sign of my love and loyalty.”

“Sung Jung-A, take this ring as a sign of my love and loyalty.”

 

“I now announce you... Husband and Wife.”

 

There he is. The man that I love the most.

 

--

On the day when Joongki signed, a real donator came so the nurse scratched Joongki’s name and my heart transplant went successfully.

 

THE END