Amie
For Never Was a Tale of Greater Woe Than This of Ji Hyo & her Nero
The intensity of shock was so great that Ji Hyo's eyes were almost popping out of its sockets. Creases were also starting to form on her young forehead.
"oh no...w-what have i done?" Ji hyo clasped her clammy palms over which was currently shaped like the letter 'O'.
"Young Jee Ssi, i'm so sorry!" She reached her arms out to Young Jee to help her up to her feet.
However, Young Jee declined the offer by smacking her hands away.
"You're sorry? Ey, you've got to be kidding! Everyone was right about you...including yourself! You keep pushing people away thinking that you were better off that way. Well congratulations, you definitely made the right choice! You only hurt those who try to help you. When i first met you, I thought of what I have previously went through, and I understood your pain. I thought that we were so much alike and wanted to help you. But no...you're no different from those girls. You are a bully too. In fact, you're even worse. You victimize yourself and act all innocent when in fact, you're every bit a monster. Stay away from me!"
"no...i'm not a monster! I really didn't mean to hurt you!” Ji Hyo wailed as she burst into tears.
Shocked by Ji Hyo's cries of agony and regret, Young Jee stopped crying and looked tenderly at Ji Hyo.
“I know you're not a monster, Seong-Im ah. I know you didn't mean to hurt me. But who said you're a monster?”
“네?...너?” (“What?...you?)
“Me? When did I ever say such a thing, Seong Im ah?”
“아니? W-was I h-hallucinating?”
“Yah. Seong-Im ah, what's wrong?”
“아니! I'm so sorry, Young Jee Ssi! I'm really really sorry!”
Young Jee shook her head and smiled, “It's alright Seong Im ah. I understand.”
With that, Ji Hyo dropped to the ground and bawled. Her tears were of many emotions – gratitude, shame, happiness, regret, sadness and also fear. She never knew it was possible to feel so much, all at once, especially with the recurrent feelings of derealization and depersonalization. However, Ji Hyo was now bound hand and foot and unable to move by the intensity of feelings which reduced her own body.
Noticing how shaken Ji Hyo has become, Young Jee was extremely confused and worried. Young Jee thought that she understood Ji Hyo's suffering. But it was beyond her comprehension.
“Seong Im ah! Are you okay? Don't cry anymore. Come on, get up. I know you're suffering, I know. But you have me now. We'll get through this together.”
Ji Hyo shook her head desperately.
“ 아니 ...as much as I appreciate your kindness, I can't be helped. I'm just a gone case. This is all so.. so confusing and frustrating. 아니...I am a monster. Please...stay away from me Young Jee Ssi. I really do appreciate you. But... 아니, that's why i don't want to hurt you. Just being around me will hurt you. I'm sorry Young Jee Ssi. But I hope you find a better friend that's worthy of your love. I...I can't be helped.”
Young Jee, furious at what she just heard, marched forward and yanked Ji Hyo to her feet.
“You are NOT a monster! Seong Im ah! How can you even say that? If anyone is a monster...it is those girls out there. Seong Im ah, it doesn't matter if you hurt me. Cause I know you have no intention of doing so. I know that you are kind and lovable, but you're just having some problems with yourself.... stop shaking your head and listen to me! Look, I won't force you to be friends with me. But lets at least try, okay? If we really can't stand each other, then we'll stop being friends. Okay?”
Ji Hyo's countenance lighted up. She couldn't believe that someone like her could have a friend. She nodded her head and managed a weak smile.
“Thank you. Thank you very much, Young Jee ah. Thank you.”
From then on, they endeavoured to be happy together. They, akin to normal teenage girls, went to asmusement parks, shops, parks, etc. And their happiness was considerably genuine. However, Ji Hyo's internal being was in a constant state of turmoil. She was still experiencing bouts of derealization and depersonalization. The emotions she experienced back in the washroom was the start of her recovery. Yet, as much as she wanted to, Ji Hyo couldn't bring herself to talk about it without feeling ashamed and feeling like a monster.
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