Every reason why I shouldn’t give into this, the feeling of his arms around me, his breath on my shoulder, the icy hot tingling feeling coursing through my veins, the way my skin on the middle of my back burned under his hands, it all ran through my head as my arms curled around him.

            I took a deep breath.  “Ji Hoon, I can’t apply to any more schools because I can’t handle any more rejection,” I admitted softly against his neck.  “I have to leave for college, so I never wanted to kiss you because that would just prove what I feel for you.”

            I felt his whole body freeze up.  He pulled back from me, eyes blazing into mine.  He stepped forward and I moved back a few steps to keep the distance between us.

            “What is it you feel for me, Leah?” he demanded.

            For his next step forward, I took three back.

            “I care about you, but we’re only teenagers, isn’t it crazy for us to think we’re in love?” I sighed.  He smirked.

            “So you are in love with me too,” he mused.

            My mouth dropped open slightly.  Before I could say anything, he took another step forward, still smirking.  I could only take two steps this time before I backed into the table against the wall, almost scaring myself to death.  He continued moving until he was right in front of me.

            “I’m already crazy about you,” he mentioned in a low growl.  “I’m ok with being crazy in love, too.”  His hands were on me again.  On my back, his fingers dragged against the exposed skin between my tee shirt and jeans.  He hummed half a syllable.  “You’re not wearing a leotard finally.  I’ve always wondered what your skin would feel like.”

            “Don’t make this harder on either of us.  I have to leave.  I have to go to LA and-and you have to stay here,” I stammered.  “J-Just like you said.  Your band.  You have to stay here.”  I couldn’t breathe let alone think with him holding me close like this.

            He had no reply this time.  Instead, he brought my body closer to his.  Caressing the backs of his knuckles on one hand across my cheek, he inched his face closer until he finally crashed his lips on mine.

            I knew there was a reason I didn’t want to kiss him.  It was amazing and scorching hot and freezing cold and I was right about why I shouldn’t kiss him.

            I was just as crazy as him.

            He pressed closer or maybe I pulled him closer, either way, the table edge dug into the back of my hips.  And I gained a new meaning of trapped ‘between a rock and a hard place.’  Ji Hoon and the table.

            When I came back to Earth, I pushed him back so I could slip away from him and run.  I ran so fast and so far, it took me ten minutes just to get back to the subway station when I didn’t even realize I’d passed it.

            I was home alone that Sunday, a few days after I ran away from Ji Hoon.  I hadn’t talked to him or seen him.  My parents got called to the office.  Hye Rin was working and Kristine was with her family.  So I had all the time in the world to sit on my couch watching old American sitcom reruns on TV and feel sorry for myself.  I had to go to a university I didn’t want to go to in order to study something I didn’t care about and I’d blown it with a guy I was apparently so in love with, it made me slightly sick and kind of really depressed that I’d done what I did.  Oh and I was stuffing my face full of chips.

            I no longer cared about my dancer diet.

            Then there was a knock at my door.

            Shoving a few more chips into my mouth, I heaved myself up out of the sofa and over to the door.  I looked through the peephole, but it was dark.  Black.  Confused, I pulled the door open.

            “Please don’t slam the door in my face.  Hear me out first, ok?  I’m really sorry I kissed you like that!  I should have never forced you, um, well up against the table, I guess, but I’m really sorry.  Please give me a minute, ok?” Ji Hoon blurted out in one breath.

            “Did you put your finger over the peephole so I couldn’t see you?”

            He looked sheepish.  “I figured if you saw me you wouldn’t open the door.”

            Oh, Ji Hoon.  I grabbed him by the tee shirt collar and yanked him into the house and slammed the door.

            Then I cried really hard into his chest.  I realized at that moment that I hadn’t cried yet over being rejected and feeling that my whole life I’ve worked for something that was apparently a giant waste of my time.  I was nothing.  I had no talent and my dreams were all in vain.  I also felt terrible for running away from him and that I felt even worse when he’d apologized.

            He hushed me after I choked out my sobbing explanation of all that, rubbing my back and letting me soak his shirt.

            “You know, it breaks my heart to see you cry, right?” he said quietly when I’d finally calmed down and we sat together on the couch.  “But it just proves the point I came here to make.”

            “What are you talking about?” I asked, drained and still sniffling.  I slumped against the back of the sofa.  He held up the papers I hadn’t noticed he was holding.

            “Look.  It’s the application and information on the dance program at Seoul University.  Before you say anything,” he added in a grumble when I opened my mouth to protest.  “Just because you were rejected from the best does not mean you can’t, one day, become the best.  What do you have to lose?  Not a damn thing.  Just look at the stupid papers.”  He dropped them into my lap.

            I couldn’t help but laugh.  Except, he was right about one thing.

            I really didn’t have anything to lose.  Not a damn thing.

            “Will you let me cry on you again when I get rejected from Seoul University?” I asked him, scanning through the papers.

            I heard him scoff.  I didn’t look at him as he shifted closer to me.  “Will you let me kiss you again when you’re accepted?” he whispered.

            Meeting his eyes, I pecked him on the mouth.

            “Nice, but I’ll be getting a better one when you’re accepted,” he retorted.

           My stomach physically hurt at the idea of being rejected again, but maybe he was right before, too.  Maybe I shouldn’t have been so quick to give up on my dream.

            Alright, I’d apply to Seoul University and see what happens.

            I flopped onto my bed and screamed into my pillow.  I’d allowed myself to regain some hope the more I looked at the application to Seoul University.  What a stupid move, I thought as I angrily called Ji Hoon.

            “Did you set up your audition?” he demanded as soon as he answered the phone.

            “Yes, but I need to cancel it,” I replied.

            “What?  Why?  You didn’t miss the deadline, so they accepted your application when you turned it into the admissions office.  You made an audition appointment, what’s the problem?”

            I flipped onto my back and sighed heavily.  “Seoul University requires two performances for an applicant’s audition.  A solo and a group dance!  They didn’t tell me that until after I made an appointment to audition.  It’s in two weeks!  How the hell am I going to figure out a second routine and find a group in time for my audition!  In two weeks!” I whined.  “I should have never gotten my hopes up, Pyo Ji Hoon.”

            “Can’t you ask some dancers from your studio to help you?” he wondered.

            I shook my head even though I knew he couldn’t see me.  “The studio has recitals and competitions coming up.  Everyone is too busy with their own stuff.  How am I going to come up with a group dance?  I’m not that good with choreography.  I can’t even ask my dance teacher to help me because of the recitals.  Everything is falling apart again.”

            “I have to go,” he said after a silent second.  No, he didn’t just say that.  “Leah, everything is going to be ok.  Don’t give up yet.  Can you meet me tomorrow?”

            “What the…no, I have wallowing in self pity to do tomorrow,” I spat.

            “Not yet.  Just meet me tomorrow.  Six.  In front of the café.  Ok?  Please, Leah, please meet me.”

            I opened my mouth to yell at him, but he’d already hung up.

            I really must be crazy, I thought as I hurried from the subway station to the café.  Ji Hoon was already there.  Full idol disguise, holding two strawberry smoothies.

            “This is why you wanted to meet me?” I asked, taking the smoothie he shoved at me.  “Thank you, but it isn’t true that sweets can fix everything for a depressed girl.”

            He touched his plastic cup to mine and took a sip through the straw before kissing me on the cheek.

            “Come on, the real reason I wanted to meet you is somewhere else.  Let’s go,” he said already walking off.

            I had to practically jog to catch up with his long legged stride.

            “Ji Hoon, what are we doing?” I murmured as I followed him up the steps to my studio.  I heard him chuckle.

            “Almost there,” he replied under his breath.

            I noticed the lights were already on in the studio, but no one should be there now.  They had already started rehearsing at the center where the first recital would be held.

            Ji Hoon pushed open the door to the studio and let me go in first.

            My eyes widened and I looked back and forth from inside the studio to Ji Hoon, smirking in the doorway.  “What’s going on?” I asked.