Jongin first met Soojung when he joined SM Entertainment as a trainee back in 2007.

(And that was when Kai and Krystal had not existed, yet.)

His hand was on the knob. He turned it, only to find himself staring at the dark pair of orbs that stared back into his, so perfectly. He was certain those were the most beautiful pair of eyes he had ever seen in his life. Her gaze was almost (just almost) too delicate, because the stunning and perfect figure that stood in front of him was only a mere facade. 

"What are you looking at," she spoke first. 

He jumped at her hostile tone and quickly blinked away, eyes cast down to avoid her unwavering glare.

"I'm new here," he replied truthfully.

"That wasn't my question," she snapped back at him.

"I didn't mean to disturb," he continued, "I was only looking around."

"And so?" She blinked at him, indifferently.

Silence. 

(He left after bowing but that word of apology still lingered at the edge of his lips. And it never did reach her.)  

SM wasn't as big as he had imagined it to be but not as small as his seniors had made it up to be. Because the second time he bumped into her was a few weeks later.

That was when she was hanging out with her group members and they passed by their practice room while he was practicing the dance routine with the others. The few girls (and her) had stopped outside and looked at their practice, partly curious and mostly captivated by their practice. Jongin's body swayed naturally to the beat of the music, throwing swift and powerful movements that dominated the whole dance. 

Jongin yearned to perform, to dance for the crowd, to proudly stand on the stage, to earn the deafening applause and-

He was completely caught off guard when the girl's eyes twinkled and a smile formed on her face. That smile was nothing extraordinary, only a tiny one, but to him, he thought it was mesmerising, breath-taking and just beautiful. 

He couldn't help but steal a few more glances of her. It was until -to-be, Chanyeol (or was it Sehun?) elbowed him to quit staring because he was missing the beat.

And that day, he learned from Kyungsoo (it wasn't Chanyeol or Sehun in the end) that she was Soojung.

And her name was beautiful, just the way she was. 

(But what he had failed to realize was that she was nothing perfect. Because Soojung was only a lost and broken soul.)

From the dance routines at the practice room to the frequent night snacks at the pantry, Jongin and Soojung had grown much closer. They talked about anything, and everything under the sky.

"You're going to debut soon, right?" He began, though it came out more of a statement than a question.

Haughtily, she replied, "Sooner than you."

He rolled his eyes at her.

"So have you chosen your stage name?"

"Krystal," she beamed brightly, "Pretty, isn't it?"

"I still prefer Soojung though," he whispered, just loud enough for her to hear. 

She looked up and simply smiled at him.

(The next day, Jongin asked if his stage name, Kai was cool. “I still prefer Jongin though," came her reply.)

The big day finally arrived for her. She had reminded Jongin to stop calling her 'Soojung' because she was no longer the trainee she used to be. Because she was now an idol, someone she worked hard (and harder than anyone else) to become. Because she wanted to be recognized as the perfect, stunning 'Krystal'. 

One day, Jongin found her in the practice room that was (still) dimly lit.

"Soojung," he called out and he liked the way her beautiful name gently lingered on his lips.

Beads of perspiration rolled down her forehead as she turned to look at the familiar figure standing by the door of the dimly-lit practice room. She stopped her movements and turned at the voice that had disrupted her night practice. 

"Oh hi," she nodded numbly at him, "Kai, it's Krystal." 

Her gaze was somewhat dark and Jongin noticed that her smile was no longer bubbly, bright yellow and happy. It was now tired, beaten and superficial. He shrugged it off casually and simply thought that he was probably overthinking things. Because she had always been a strong and bold girl, and she wouldn't be defeated by anything.

He returned a little smile, a half-fake and half-real one before leaving the girl to herself. 

(But Jongin was wrong.)

"Are you happy?" Jongin asked her one day prior to his own big day. "Maybe" came her reply.  

He didn't know if he made the right choice of entering SM, of becoming a trainee, of becoming an idol. He could always become a mere backup dancer or even an office boy. But he thought as long as Soojung Krystal was happy, he hadn't made the wrong choice. He wanted to be beside her, to at least be on the same path as her. 

And so, he pondered over her answer and stood outside the door to look at the tired girl, picking up her pace and dragging her feet to practice in the usual, dimly-lit room. 

But Krystal suddenly stopped her movements and stared at the expressionless face reflected in the mirror. She frowned, ceases evident on her forehead. Jongin was now certain the girl wasn't happy at all. Behind that perfect face, that beautiful pair of large, deep eyes, that tiny-yet-fake smile, she seemed to be in forlorn and desperate and just in tremendous pain.

And then she caught sight of Jongin's figure outside. She jolted in surprise, quickly smiling at him. He couldn't bring himself to smile (not even a fake one) this time because when her eyes met his, hers formed two perfect crescents but they weren't smiling at all.

He swore that he saw hints of sadness behind those eyes, with a well of tears threatening to spill over. 

(And this time, Jongin noticed. She was on the verge of collapsing.)

Life could never be perfect, that was what Jongin told her one night.

Krystal hated being compared her sister, Jessica or her look-alike, Yoona. She hated how strangers judged her personality. And she hated being bashed on her cold attitude. She hated those pairings (be it for publicity or not) that gained both fans and anti-fans. So Krystal wished she could turn the clock back and remained as the innocent, beautiful Soojung whom Jongin loved (and still loved). 

And then, Kai finally made his debut. He had fame, popularity, money and everything in his pocket now. But he wasn't one bit happy because he had lost his heart. Jongin wished she'd return his heart, even if it was broken and worn out. 

He wanted his heart back.

(But Soojung had taken his heart away and she wasn't gonna return it.)

"Hello, Kai?" 

"Jinri, what's wrong?" 

"Soojung is going crazy." 

"What are you talking about?" 

"Please save her. Please." 

Click. 

"Don't," Jongin stopped her, "Stop hurting yourself. Stop-"

"I can't do it anymore," she screamed, "I can't, I just can't."

"Calm down, Soojun-"

"Don't you call me that, Kai." she gritted her teeth.

Her words were becoming incoherent now and Jongin was scared. He didn't know when she would pop some sleeping pills into and never wake up again or take a knife to stab herself and bleed to death or simply jump off the building and die horribly. 

"Krystal, stop," he pleaded, "Please, we can start all over again."

"Maybe" came her reply as she scoffed at his words. 

(Jongin wasn't sure what she was capable of doing anymore.)

"Let me out," she screamed at the guards, "Why am I here?"

Silence. 

"I'm not insane!" She continued to hit the metal door that enclosed the white room, "I'm not mental."

Her face was pale and her eyes were bloodshot now as she shook her head in denial.

"I'm not insane. I'm not insane. I'm-" She repeated those words all over again, as if to convince no one else but herself.

Was she Krystal or Soojung? She didn't know anymore. 

(Soojung had already lost it.) 

"Do you love me?"

Krystal's hair was in a mess when Jongin came. She was shivering all over and her cheeks were stained with tears. Some were still falling from her eyes and it hurts, really badly. With lips and hands shaking, she looked up to Jongin with fearful eyes.  

This time, Jongin realized she was far from perfection but he (would still and always) loved her.   

"I wish," Krystal whispered, with venom in her words.

And he never stopped believing. 

(Because Jongin still believed Soojung would come back, someday.)