You pushed your lunch away and crossed your arms. You felt so sick. You leaned back in your chair, not even wanting to look at your food. This had been going on for weeks, and you didn’t even know why.

“Are you okay, miss?” asked a concerned waiter passing by.

You nodded. “I’m done with my food.”

He looked down at your barely touched food then back up at you strangely before taking it away without a word.

You weren’t sure how much longer you could keep up this whole not eating. You felt sick, like you were going to throw up. You hadn’t yet, though this morning had been a close call.

After paying for your lunch, you wandered out of the restaurant. You needed to know what was wrong. You had considered the possibility that you were pregnant, but you were scared. You and Donghae tried to be careful, but there were times, you had to admit, when you got carried away and remembered a at the last minute.

You didn’t know what to do. A part of you wanted to take the test, and the other preferred the bliss of ignorance. If you thought about the possibility, it felt like the world was just going to fall apart.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket. A text from Leeteuk.

Leeteuk! He would be perfect to ask for advice. He was always so nice to you and never judged or held anything against you. You were positive he could help you.

You read the text he had sent. It was just to say hi so you figured he wasn’t busy, but you asked to be sure.

I’m free today. What’s on your mind?

You texted him to meet you at a cafe that was between the restaurant and the dorms. After he agreed, you sighed, relieved. You needed to figure this out sooner rather than later. So you made your way over to the coffee shop, already feeling a little better, regardless of the outcome of your conversation.

When you got to the coffee shop, thankfully there were very few people there since it was already past lunchtime. You ordered two cups of green tea for yourself and Leeteuk. You sipped yours slowly. Tea was one of the few things you could stomach, besides ramen and Chocopies.

You turned around suddenly at the sound of your name to see Leeteuk walking toward you. He waved with a bright smile on his face. “How are you? I haven’t seen you in a while,” he said.

“Since Christmas, I think,” you said, offering him his cup of tea.

“Thank you,” he said. “But you’ve been alright? Donghae doesn’t talk about you much. I know he doesn’t like to talk about the details of your relationship without your permission.”

You shook your head. “I know, but it doesn’t bother me if it’s you. I know the two of you are really close, and I consider you a good friend,” you said. “Anyway, I really haven’t been too great. That’s why I asked to meet.”

Leeteuk leaned forward, a frown gracing his face. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “Wait, does Donghae know?”

You grimaced. “That’s the thing. He doesn’t, but it’s something I don’t really know either.”

He tilted his head in confusion. “I don’t understand.”

“I-I’ve been feeling sick lately,” you explained, “and I didn’t know what it was. I thought I might have some sort of flu. But it hasn’t gone away.” You sighed. “I’m scared I might pregnant,” you ended, voice barely above a whisper.

Leeteuk took a deep breath and didn’t say anything. It was obvious from the look on his face that he was processing.

“I haven’t told Donghae because I’m worried what he’ll say if I am,” you said. “We’ve talked about having kids, but I’m worried it’s too early or maybe he’s changed his mind.”

He nodded. “But you don’t know if you’re pregnant or not?”

You shook your head.

“That’s what matters right now,” he said. “You should have told Donghae first, but you can think about things with Donghae later. It’s important that you find out if there’s a life inside of you or not.” He smiled reassuringly. “Do you want me to come with you to buy a test?”

You finished off your tea and nodded. “Yes please.”

“Come on. There’s a drugstore around the corner. I’m sure you can buy one there,” he suggested. He squeezed your shoulder as the two of you exited. “Everything is going to be alright, but first we need to know if you’re actually pregnant.”

You entered the drugstore and walked straight to the back where the pregnancy tests were. Leeteuk followed behind you, sunglasses on. “You can wait outside if you’d prefer,” you said, turning around. “I don’t want to inconvenience you or make you uncomfortable.”

He shook his head. “Don’t worry. I’m here for moral support,” he said with a smile.

You nodded and selected a random test. You weren’t sure what kind to get. You’d never been in this situation, but you were sure any would suffice. You paid for it quickly and exited, not wanting to make things awkward for yourself or Leeteuk with the looks the cashier was giving the two of you.

“Do it as soon as you get home,” Leeteuk said, hailing a cab for you. “You’ve been drinking tea so that should help get it done. Call me if you want to talk some more, okay?” A cab stopped at the curb, and he opened the door for you.

You slipped inside, hugging the shopping bag to your chest.

“And _____________?” Leeteuk said, leaning into the cab before closing the door. “It’s all going to be alright. Donghae loves you. Just take the test.”

You nodded, and he closed the door, sending you off. You told the driver your address and leaned back into the leather seat. You were worried again, but it was different. At least, now you weren’t thinking about Donghae’s reaction, just about the test itself.

As soon as you got to your apartment, you ran to the bathroom. In a few minutes, you finished and just waited. The stick needed to dry to either a plus or minus. You paced in the hall outside the bathroom. The directions said to wait for five minutes, but it felt like five hours before you finally ran into the bathroom to check the result.

Plus.

Your breath caught in your throat. You were having a baby. Donghae’s baby.

You called Leeteuk up.

“Hello?”

“Leeteuk, I’m pregnant.” Your breathing was short and heavy.

He was quiet for a moment. “That’s okay,” he said. “Calm down. Take a deep breath. It’s going to be okay.”

You closed your eyes, trying to relax yourself.

“Now, _______________, there’s something important you have to know. Donghae loves you. You hear me? He loves you. The times he does talk to me, he always talks about spending the rest of his life with you. He talks about having kids with you and about having a family together. You have nothing to worry about. Just tell him.”

You took a deep breath. “Thanks, Leeteuk. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

“Anytime. Just remember to breathe. That’s important.”

You laughed and hung up the phone. You were determined to tell Donghae, but you didn’t know when to tell him. You figured the sooner the better would be best. He was coming by tonight after rehearsal anyway so you ended up spending the rest of the afternoon thinking about it, even though you tried not to.

As you sat on the couch waiting, you forced yourself to stay calm. It was hard, but you needed to be rational about all of this. Plus, Leeteuk said you had nothing to worry about. You kept repeating that to yourself over and over again.

Your thoughts stopped as you heard keys rattling in the doorknob. The door opened.

“Hello? ____________? Are you here?” Donghae’s voice called. You listened as he kicked off his shoes and tossed his keys on the counter before walking into the living room. “Oh, I thought you weren’t here. You’re so quiet.”

You have nothing to worry about.

You said nothing, trying to figure out what to say. You squirmed in your seat, trying to stay still and think of how to start the conversation. “Um, how was rehearsal?” you asked.

You have nothing to worry about.

He nodded and plopped down on the couch next to you. “It was good,” he said. He looked at you, noticing your strange behavior. “Is everything okay?”

You felt tears welling up in your eyes. You had every reason to worry. What if Donghae didn’t want it? What if he broke up with you? You held your breath and held back the tears stinging the back of your throat. You gulped, trying to swallow the lump of nerves in your throat to speak. When you opened your mouth though, all that came out was a strangled sob.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Donghae asked, taking your hands. He scooted toward you and lifted your chin to look at you. He brushed the hair out of your face. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

You stared into his eyes. He looked so earnest with his expression, but you were scared. You needed to tell him so the words came tumbling out. “I’m pregnant!” Your body shook with sobs as you broke down.

Donghae pulled you to his body, holding you close. “It’s okay,” he whispered, thumb your arm softly.

You looked up at him, hiccupping. “You’re not upset?” you asked in a whisper.

He shook his head. “Of course not!” he said and kissed your forehead. “I’m surprised of course, but that doesn’t mean I’m not happy. You and I always talk about having a family together. Why would I be upset about that?” He kissed your lips, your cheeks, taking away evidence of your tears.

You swallowed. “I just—we didn’t plan this. I thought you might have changed your mind or wanted to wait,” you said. “I was scared and worried so I went to Leeteuk. I know I should have told you first, but I didn’t know what to do. But he told me what I already knew: that I should have told you first.”

Donghae chuckled and pecked at your lips. “Did he tell you anything else?”

“He also said not to worry about anything because you’d be okay with this.”

“Leeteuk really does know me,” he said, hugging you. “I love you, ___________. Don’t ever feel like there’s something you can’t talk to me about. Especially now that we’re starting a family together.”

His voice hummed in your chest, helping steady you more and more. You were beginning to feel okay with this. If anything, you were getting excited.

You nodded and kissed Donghae. “So everything’s going to be alright?” you asked, trying to reassure yourself.

He lifted your chin. “Everything is going to be wonderful,” he said and kissed you again.