When Jinki, at the age of 27, finally enlisted himself to the army, Jonghyun couldn’t help but be bothered by it. He thinks it’s too early, he could’ve at least delayed it for one more year. But Jinki has decided, and when he’s decided, neither one of them can persuade him to change his mind, not even when Jonghyun pulls his award-winning puppy pout at the leader, Taemin’s aegyo couldn’t even do the trick.

“But hyung, you can go next year, when you’re 28, and I was thinki―”

“Jonghyun-ah,” Jinki smiled softly at the younger, “I just… I know this is silly, but I don’t want to turn 30 in the army.” He chuckled at his own joke, but Jonghyun’s expression falters even more. He frowns and slumps his shoulders, looking at the ground like a kicked puppy. Jinki couldn’t help but reach out his hand and pat him gently on the head.

When Jonghyun looked up to meet his eyes, Jinki was giving him a worried smile. “I’m going to miss you, too.”

When Jonghyun went home from his schedule, he saw Jinki looking at himself in the mirror as he passed by their room. He paused and went back, observing Jinki through that little crack on the door. Jinki was just standing, eyes burrowed in a contemplative manner (which the younger finds totally endearing). He was so focused on the mirror, as if he was concentrating on breaking it by the power of staring, like he has some sort of magical powers that lies within him, and he is yet to unleash it.

The next thing he knows, Jinki’s blinking up at him through the mirror. His face going red in an instant, at the thought of Jonghyun standing there for God knows how long. They both fell embarrassed, but Jonghyun fought all the embarrassment of getting caught sneaking through their room as he opened the door wider. He waved his hand at Jinki, meeting his eyes through the reflection on the mirror.

“Hi,” Jinki says shyly, he does not turn around, but he keeps his eyes on Jonghyun, through the glass, who comfortably seats on his bed.

“You’re not counting your wrinkles, are you?” Jonghyun quips, reaching for the stuffed bunny lying on Jinki’s bed, the older receives a lot of bunny plushies as a gift from their fans.

“Nah,” Jinki chuckles as he plops himself down on the bed next to Jonghyun, lying on his back and staring at the ceiling. They stayed silent for a few beats until Jonghyun throws the bunny straight to the older’s face.

“Yah,” Jinki fails at trying to look offended. He hugs the bunny as he turned to his side, facing Jonghyun, his knee bumping the younger’s hip as he remained seated.

“I just…” Jinki started, “I was wondering what I would look with uhh… with a semi-bald cut.” He sighs, burying his face on the mattress.

“I think I’d look ridiculous though,” Jinki’s voice was muffled through the sheets. Jonghyun stayed silent as he lied down to his side as well, facing the older. He gently tugs up a few brown wisps, and when Jinki feels it and looks up, they are both smiling at each other.

Suddenly, Jonghyun runs his fingers through the older’s hair. Starting with his bangs, smiling when he feels a pimple or two on his forehead, carefully combing through his locks till he reaches the back of his neck. His hand stops there, fingertips playing with the soft strands. Jinki thought it felt nice, like he just wanted to sleep as Jonghyun played with the hair on his back. It felt like when his mother soothingly rubbed his back to make him fall asleep, humming a lullaby. It felt like being tucked into bed, and Jinki just wanted to close his eyes and snuggle close to his pillows. But Jonghyun was holding his gaze, and the older could only blink up at him, feeling his heart beat faster as Jonghyun’s hand felt warm and a little tingly at the back of his neck.

He could feel an impending-something that is about to happen. His eyes falling to look at the younger’s lips, slightly parted, and his breath feels warm to his face, perhaps too warm because he feels all the heat rising to his cheeks. And when he looks up to meet Jonghyun’s eyes again, the younger grins wide, almost laughing.

“I think you’d still look as handsome. You can’t be the leader if you do not have the qualities of being a fine young good-looking man… you know, as you said so yourself,” He chuckles, remembering Jinki’s words on a TV show once, but he means it, nonetheless.

Jinki feels almost disappointed as that comforting feeling of warmth behind his neck, and the playful fingers combing through his hair, is gone. But he smiles at the younger’s words.

They hear Kibum shouting pizza and some other Italian food take-out from the kitchen after a few silent minutes, Jinki stutters an excuse before getting up and shouts for 2 slices and spaghetti and meat balls at Kibum.

Jonghyun just lay there, reaching up to hug the bunny plushy and takes comfort at the warmth and the smell of Jinki all over the bed.

Jonghyun announces he’s going to the army with Jinki during dinner. Taemin and Minho was only slightly shocked, Kibum wasn’t even fazed by the sudden revelation, only the older looked completely surprised, the rice in his mouth forgotten, going slack-jawed at Jonghyun’s face.

“W-what? Jonghyun, are you―”

“I already talked to manager Jin hyung,” Jonghyun said, reaching for a slice of meat as he continued to eat, “And he didn’t go against my decision.”

Kibum dropped his chopsticks all of a sudden, sighing, “Even though we are all sick of each other’s faces, spending birthdays together, the holidays,”

“Even on regular days,” Minho butts in.

“Right,” Kibum nods, “I’m really going to miss your dumb asses.” He fake cries and laughs it all off, but Jonghyun can see the moist in his eyes.

Everyone stayed quiet; it’ll take years before they come back as five again. Kibum and Minho would have to follow hitting the army soon, and then Taemin. Of course, the sad possibility of SHINee’s disbandment floats in their minds once in a while.

“Idiot,” Jinki throws a popcorn at Jonghyun, lying on the sofa and flicking for good channels. The popcorn misses Jonghyun’s face and flies over, landing at the back of the couch. They both look at each other, silently agreeing to let Kibum clean that mess off when he sees it.

Jonghyun bends his knees up before Jinki’s collides down his limbs. The older sits comfortably at the end of the couch, while Jonghyun stretches his feet to rest on the former’s lap. Jinki frowns because he doesn’t know where to put down his bowl of popcorn, he looks around and sets in on top of Jonghyun’s stomach, which he welcomes as he wraps his arm around the bowl, taking bites whilst staring at the television.

Jinki stares at Jonghyun for a minute and sighs.

“Why are you staring at me?” Jonghyun asks, eyes not leaving the television.

“I-I’m not,” Jinki stutters. “I was just thinking, you know, just… spacing out, and it just so happens that my head is angled towards you.” He grabs for a handful of popcorn and stuffs half of it in his mouth.

“Well,” Jonghyun shifts, bringing his full attention towards Jinki, “What were you thinking about?”

“You,” Jinki looks down, embarrassed that he’s being too straightforward. “It’s just… why, Jonghyun?”

“I just don’t want to turn 30 in the army,” Jonghyun shrugs and Jinki rolls his eyes at that.

“Jonghyun.” Jinki says, firm.

“Okay, I’m just…” Jonghyun shifts some more, till he finds a comfortable spot on the couch, resting his head on the arm of the couch and looking at the ceiling. “I just wanted to accompany you,” He admits.

“You know, sometimes I think about you,” Jonghyun continues, “You, staying in the army. Our clumsy leader, climbing ropes, crawling on mud, marching off like a good soldier, and then I think about you tripping, and scratching an elbow or a knee, and when you eat you have all these crumbs all over your stupid face… I know you’re old enough and independent, but it’s just―I find this weird need to help you? I don’t know, i-it’s confusing,” He looks down at Jinki, blinking at him like a child. Jonghyun grunts at the look of innocence on his face, and he facepalms, “Jesus, I can’t even imagine you holding a rifle.”

“You’re…” Jinki’s cheeks are pink, and he refuses to look at Jonghyun, “You―you’re worried… about me?” he squeaks at the two last words.

Jonghyun sits up, does not answer Jinki’s question, only smiles at him and ruffles his hair. He’s going to miss the feel of Jinki’s soft hair so he’s been petting his head a lot of times lately. He places the bowl of popcorn on Jinki’s lap and thumbs the dirt near his mouth away.

Jonghyun laughs lightly before getting up and shouting good night to everybody.

The day comes for them to finally leave. Jonghyun holding his duffle bag over his shoulder and Jinki with his large backpack. Some of their luggages are already sent to the army.

“Not bad, hyungs.” Taemin says at their clean cuts as they all pose for a picture.

Kibum scoffs, “Jonghyun hyung looks ridiculous though.”

“Wait for the day I laugh at you for getting bald, Kibum.” Jonghyun glares, “I shall use your precious hair, dye them in rainbow colors, and throw them at you like confetti when it’s your time to get to the army.” He smirks.

“Please, I was able to pull off a half-shaved hairdo, what makes you think I can’t live a fabulous life with a hair style like that?”

“Okay, you two, you’re gonna miss each other, huhu there goes my “shopping buddy,”” Minho’s air quotes at the term and looks at Kibum whose eyes promises no mercy for the tall one when they come back, “But they have to go so, can we please get on with the group hug?”

Jinki smiles and opens his arms, and they all hug each other, eyes watery at the departure of their two most beloved hyungs. It’s not like they’re going to be gone forever, but they have been together for years and two years without the others’ company feels heart-rending to everyone.

Jinki sniffs, wiping the tears spilling from his eyes, and they all hug again tightly, patting each other’s back and saying “see you later” instead of “farewell.”

When everyone’s gone and it’s just the two of them walking towards the gates, Jonghyun suddenly halts and turns to look at Jinki, gripping both of the older’s shoulders.

“Jonghyun? What’s wrong?” The leader tilts his head in confusion, “Are you okay?”

“Hyung,” Jonghyun breathes, “I just―I needed to do this, okay?” And he inches closer and closer until Jinki can feel the warmth of his breath again, the feel of Jonghyun’s palm snaking its way behind his neck, urging him to come closer. Jonghyun drops his eyes, half-lidded, and he bumps noses with Jinki.

“Remember when… when you ask me why?” Jonghyun breathes, closing his eyes and Jinki can’t help the beat of his heart, he can feel it, like bass drums playing inside his chest. Jinki doesn’t answer with his mouth, afraid that something might happen if he moves. He nods, instead, a barely-there nod.

“It’s because I think… Well, no, I’m just―I’m… I’m in love with you,” And Jonghyun kisses him, holds his head and kisses him, molds his lips to Jinki’s, feeling the older’s moist, plush lips against his. Jinki didn’t move for a while, but he reaches his hand out later, grips it on Jonghyun’s shirt, all shaky and whatnot. He closes his eyes, feels how wonderful kissing is like, how wonderful kissing Jonghyun feels like. He moves and kisses him back as Jonghyun snakes a hand towards his back, wrapping his arm around the older’s slim waist. And he grunts and pulls him closer.

Jinki gasps, not wanting to stop, but feeling like he could just faint right then and there. And when Jonghyun slips his tongue, Jinki braced himself of this ecstatic feeling. Both tilting their heads to get a better angle, to press and feel more till they’re both breathless.

Jinki manages to moan, it was unintentional and he squeaks and pulls his head back. Hands flying to cup his mouth just because he felt too embarrassed, and a little hard, from all that kissing. Jonghyun laughs at how red he is and he kisses him on the nose one last time.

“I…” Jinki looks down, playing with his hands, “I love you too, Jonghyun.” And the younger pulls his chin up, locks gazes with Jinki and engages him in another kiss.

When they parted, Jonghyun slings an arm around Jinki’s shoulders, while the other rubs his palms against his cheeks, willing the heat to go away.

“So,” Jonghyun pulls his arm back a little, rests his hand behind Jinki’s neck, tracing circles, “I was thinking maybe we should write a duet song together.”

“While we’re in the army?” Jinki asks, face showing an incredulous expression.

“Yes, and maybe we could also… you know,” Jonghyun wiggles his eyebrows, but Jinki doesn’t get it.

“What?” When Jonghyun bites his lobe and mumbles something about the bees and the birds, Jinki reddens even more and runs ahead to the gates. Jonghyun’s laugh is loud and it rings in Jinki’s ears.