You know these TV dramas, where a man and a woman meet and he starts flirting with her?

He doesn’t care how many times she turns him down. He just seems ready to do everything in his might to make her fall for him.

They are always like that, right?

But let me tell you one thing: It’s no fun.

It’s no fun turning down your colleagues, because he just won’t stop hitting on you; thinking he’s funny and charming when he just annoys the out of you and – even worse – keeps you off from working.

My name is Do Kyungsoo and I’m invisible.

I’m nothing special but there is this one guy in my department, who won’t leave me alone.

A charismatic young man called Kim Jongin, who dotes on me for no reason, but to stretch my patience.

We met the first time, when he wasn’t even employee in the company.

It was the day of his job interview and he didn’t stop talking to strangers the whole way to get rid of his nervousness.

I remember how I cheered him up and he was surprised that I was older than him after stomaching that I was an employee of the firm he wanted to introduce himself to.

Thinking back this was one of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made.

About a month later he was standing right in front of me. A bright smile plastered on his face that most likely blinded 45% of my coworkers.

“This really has to be my happy day! You are in my department! I still don’t know how I should express at least a tiny among of the mass of gratitude I feel towards you. But you can trust me. I will find a way to do so.”

He was highly motivated and I appreciated to work with him, because his energy was contagious and actually he was one of the first people, who ever remembered me in my 2 years working in this office.  Truth to be told, I felt flustered, but things started to get complicated after half a year…

“I brought you iced coffee, Hyung.”

The boy smiled and plunked down into the couch I was sitting on already.

He was close but I didn’t pay attention, still stooped over some sheets I worked on though Jongin convinced me to go to the break room, because we were the last ones staying for an extra shift.

He sighed deeply but didn’t say anything.

I knew that he was watching me attentively, but it didn’t distract me from the form I was checking. The feeling of his warm hand on my thigh however did.

“Kyungsoo?”

I looked up and directed my gaze to him – confused why he dropped his voice, before I almost choked on my salvia because of the look he gave me.

His features were soft and his expression dreamy, his voice nothing more but a whisper: “I wonder for a while now… Will you go out with me?”

Of course I said no.

We are colleagues. We are both men and he is younger than me.

There is no way – in hell neither on Earth – I am going to date him.

But Jongin isn’t the type of guy to simply accept my rejection. He wouldn’t stop to make me small, but embarrassing presents, drop compliments or do other unnecessary stuff to – how he says – ‘win me over’ when in reality he just stresses me out with every single move he makes.

I sigh deeply and burry my face in one of my hands after I have seated myself in one of the cabs, which are waiting in front of the company’s building every afternoon.

I can hear how the door on the other side opens and someone else sits down next to me, but I don’t dare to look up. I just want to get home as fast as possible.

“Oh hyung! Thanks for waiting for me!”

I keep silent but mentally I’m screaming right now. I haven’t waited for him.

Honestly. I’d love to just throw him out of the car again.

I don’t know why, but it’s really uncomfortable for me being close to him since he asked me out.

He’s not even touchy or indiscreet. I just can’t bear him now. I’m a wreck.

I feel like everything is slowly slipping out of control.

Suddenly everything is different than before.

I’m not invisible anymore. He turned a spot light at me and I’m afraid of my own shadow.

He jerked my view of life and now he won’t even take responsibility. I’m not even able to yell at him, tell him all that.

It’s just not possible. It just won’t happen.

It’s been weeks again and I have to admit that I grew to like how the boy idolizes me. I’d be lying, saying I’m still not affected by his flirts. I’d be lying, if I said my heart doesn’t flutter when he winks at me or he tries to brush my hand with his fingers.

I’d be lying, saying I’m still not ready to let him lead me into something I don’t know. Lying, saying I didn’t trust him or wasn’t curious.

So there’s no need to lie, claiming it didn’t affect me to see him like that.

Claiming my heart didn’t ache, my stomach didn’t twist and my face didn’t get expressionless, my eyes overwhelming with pain, when I saw them together.

Right now I’m sitting on a cab’s back seat again, trying to calm myself and my mind.

Trying desperately to hold back my tears while the taxi driver waits a bit as always before he drives the usual route which leads to my home because I’m one of the few who lives in such a distance to their workplace.

What I saw you ask?

Simply things I wasn’t meant to see, things that shouldn’t be seen by anyone, because they shouldn’t be happening.

I’m fully aware how famous and popular Kim Jongin is among our department. Even young employees from other floors are crazy over him – with good reason.

All the more I was deeply moved that he seemed to have interest in a not exactly good looking small person like me. Right. Seemed to.

I know better now. I suppress a sob when the car’s door is pulled open rather harshly and the one person on Earth I don’t want to see right now sits down next to me. Then the cab gets on his way. I can’t believe I have to deal with this now all the way home, with him right next to me.

I can’t look at him now.

The moment I see just the tip of his fingers the pictures I just saw a few minutes ago rush back again through my head and I see them again in my mind’s eye; how she circles her long arms around his shoulders and snuggles into his neck leaving a heavy ugly red lipstick mark on the collar of his white shirt.

I snap when I feel his fingers touching my cheeks.

I obviously started to cry without noticing and he looks at me, pure concern written all over his face, but instead of soothing me his whole presence has the complete opposite effect.

I break loose abruptly, slapping his hand away from my face and glaring at him in pure range.

“Don’t you dare to touch me!” I hiss.

I see how he backs away and I drop my gaze to my lap. We stay silent and I’m glad he doesn’t try to approach me a second time.

My body is still stiffened whilst I’m trying to hold back my tears.

I still can feel his gaze on me but I try to ignore him. He isn’t worth my attention.

I’m about looking up in relief when the cab slows down and stops.

We arrived at his place faster than usual. But when I do so, I’m just met with the sight of a great rank of cars, strung like pearls on a necklace.

We got into a traffic jam.

I whine in exasperation and throw my hands in the air, before leaning back in the seat.

Jongin moves again too. He looks at me, worried before I see his fingers crawling over the seat slowly reaching my hand I laid down next to me limply.

“What’s the matter, Kyungsoo? Why are you angry?”

I take my hand away before his warm fingers can touch my skin and glare at him, my big eyes narrowed to small slits.

“WHY? You really ask why!?”

I exclaim and my high-pitched voice breaks so I continue whispering.

“You really thought I’d be impressed by your corny compliments and how cute you treated me? You really thought I’d fall for this just so you can throw me away again as soon as you find something better?”

The boy blinks in confusion and furrows his brows but I’m not going to believe him again. I’m not going to fall for this again.

I gulp. “I saw you, Kim Jongin. I saw you making out with that woman.”

“But…”

“Don’t you ing deny it! Don’t you ing lie at me again now! I don’t want to hear the slightest excuse, none of your pretty words!”

He looks at me and his features are filled with pain and disbelief but I’m not able to look at his face any longer. I can’t cope with it.

He’ll just trick me again.

We stay in silence and even the driver in the front row doesn’t dare to make any sound.

Surrounded by this heavy, uncomfortable silence I just realize that I was lying at him too.

I just realize that I, Do Kyungsoo, indeed fell for his pretty words, for his nice gestures, for his flirty jokes. How pathetic.

I feel how hot tears stream down my face again, but this time no foreign finger touches my cheek to wipe them away.

The taxi makes headway slowly and I just wish I could be home already, hiding in my bed, where I don’t need to face the world.

My head feels heavy and I’m tired of all this.

The sky turns grey outside when I open my eyes again. It’s now when I realize that we finally arrived at the house Jongin lives in.

The clock above the driver’s head tells me it’s been almost 2 hours.

The congestion melted but I can see in the corners of my eyes that the young man is still sitting next to me. He glances over to me but I turn my head away again.

I hear him sighing heavily.

“I don’t care if you think it is an excuse… But she cornered me and tried to seduce me. I didn’t do anything. I told you that I like you and with all I believe in it was anything but a lie. When I open my eyes all I see is you, Kyungsoo.”

I bite my lip but refuse to move at all. I just stare at the window, seeing how he lowers his head in the reflection before he opens the door to leave the car after he paid the driver.

The door closes again and the taxi starts to move. My tears won’t dry all the way home.

I was miserable the next days, the next weeks.

It took me not long to realize that it was actually not the presence or the sorrowful thought of Jongin that caused that deep dark whole I felt bumped into every day right after I woke up.

It was the lack of him.

I haven’t seen him around for almost a month now and I’m not exaggerating saying I’m going insane. Slowly… I’m not snapping aloud but I feel as if my sense for reality slowly fades away and I’m more and more ready to just fall and drop myself in that nameless madness that whirrs around my mind and sinks my heart until I feel like screaming, because it won’t stop calling for him.

I’ve fallen. Yes, and I surrender.

I’ve fallen for Kim Jongin, but he’s nowhere to be found.

He’s not there to catch me now what makes the range boil inside of me over and over again.

How dares he? How dares he letting me down like this now, when I finally realize he was pure and honest?

The rain is purring steady and the sound of heavy drops pitching on my umbrella is almost loud enough to drown out the traffic noise around me.

They are having heavy traffic again, but the temperatures got warmer and more spring like, so I decided to walk to the next train station. I have no intention betaking myself in that chaos now. Slow chaos though, dragging on like a chewing gum.

I glance over the ranks of cars, let my eyes run over the vision in front of me before I spot him.

He sits in a cab, captured in the middle of the crossing whose traffic lights show red now and everything stops.

I gasp sore, but suddenly I feel how my body maneuvers itself through the ranks of wheelers, until I pull the door open and sit down in the taxi, after I closed my umbrella.

Jongin looks up surprised and pales as he watches my figure. He watches how I wrinkle up my umbrella, sniffing faint because of the rainy weather outside.

He looks surprised to see me – to say the least.

“Kyungsoo…” He whispers, but I shake my head to mute him.

“Shh. Please don’t say anything.”

I’m nervous, but I try to smile at him nonetheless to ensure him that I’m not going to yell at him again. Not yet.

But it seems to confuse him just more, which turns the whole situation more awkward than it already was before.

“I’m sorry I lied at you the last time.”

“Bwuah?”

“I said ‘Shh!’ please let me finish. It’s hard enough… Ok!?”

My voice got a bit y and I hear him chuckle silently. He turned in his seat and looks at me directly now.

“I’m sorry. Please continue.”

I bite my lip, before I screw up my courage to look at him directly too.

“It was a lie. You really touched my feelings with your cute compliments and how you treated me. I was so insecure, because no one ever did something like that to me… and then I saw you with that woman and it hurt. It really did.”

I press my lips against each other to suppress a sob that tries to crawl up my throat.

“But… But I realized that though I couldn’t look at you anymore after I saw you kissing her…”

I interrupt myself and drop my gaze.

I just can’t say that. It’s way too embarrassing.

I feel how the boy moves reaching out with his hand, slowly over my cheeks to comfort me.

Then he smiles at me.

“I didn’t kiss her. I pushed her away and spend the past weeks arguing with our manager to resolve this issue. But… you know. I didn’t do all that things to you to impress you.”

I blink.

“I did this because I wanted to… because I meant it and I still do.”

I’m mute. I look at him with wide eyes and burning cheeks but not a single word leaves my mouth, while I just look him in the eyes and he responds with his gaze.

A rather loud cough from the front bank makes me avert my gaze flustered.

“We arrived at your place of destination, Sir.”

Jongin looks over his shoulder rather annoyed and sighs. The rain has stopped.

Then he turns and faces me again, before he suddenly presses his lips against mine and I pant astonished. My face flushes a dark shade of crimson and Jongin grins at me.

“I accept your apology, Do Kyungsoo.”

He says, before he gets up and leaves the cab.

I stare at him my mouth opened wide.

The driver coughs again, but this time he shifts his head in the direction his last customer went and rolls his eyes before I finally understand. I stumble out of the car.

“Yah! Kim Jongin!”

He stops right in front of the house entrance and I can see that he already whipped out the key.

I pant heavily when I finally pause in front of him. “You dare leaving me like that!?”

He laughs and looks at me with a pleased expression on his face.

“I thought you were done with your confession.”

“Pabo! I didn’t even confess! Of course I wasn’t done! How should I finish a confession without actually confessing how much I missed you and that…”

I pause again and look at him shocked, covering my mouth with my hands now.

But Kai just smiles at me.

“That…?” He repeats and I feel how he circles his arms around my waist slowly.

“That… that…” I stutter and try to direct my look somewhere else but him.

“That you love me? That you want to go out with me?”

I swallow all my fears and nod, placing my hands down on his chest slowly, when I feel how he chuckles soundlessly, before he nods himself.

“OK. Here you go: Tell me.”

“Wha!? But I just did!”

I hear him laugh and start pouting embarrassed.

“Actually you didn’t.”

“But I meant it…” I whine and hide my face in his warm chest.

“You really go out with me now?”

I nod. “Yes”

“So you love me back?”

My cheeks are burning in red color again and even my ears turn red but I nod again whispering now: “Yes. Yes I love you, Kim Jongin.”

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Don't know what to say about that...

I didn't wrote first-person narrative stuff in ages and it's my first kaisoo FF too.

I hope you liked it... (insert run-of-the-mine author comment here)  (〃￣ω￣〃ゞ