It was the beginning of summer. The days were getting hotter. Fashionistas were wearing less and less as the season progressed. And it had been almost four months since the last time he last visited. Trying to date a very well known model and actor is something not everyone could do; but you’ve managed to do just fine for the past couple of years. That is, until he had landed a movie role in the not so close city that is Tokyo, Japan. It . Some days he would call to check in. Some days he couldn’t call at all. Rather he made contact or not, it still wasn’t the same to you. It’s the warmth of his hold that’s missed the most. The way he smiles at you. The way his voice rang through the acoustics of your apartment as he called your name. His scent… A simple phone call couldn’t suffice for all that depended on his actual physical presence. It wasn’t a fair exchange.

                It was one of the cooler days. Again, another night had gone by without a call. “That bastard…” it had almost been a week without word. He seemed to be enjoying his time away in another country. It was driving you mad. “You better had fallen in a ditch or something!” you yell at a polished photograph of the man in question; a photo most likely from an old shoot of his. When his smiling face in the photo  displayed against wall doesn’t respond, a new found anger began to build. “ you Kim Jaewook!! You can’t even text me ‘hello’ or anything all this time you’re away? Seriously?! Are you really that busy?” You hit the photo a couple of times before hearing a cracking sound. The glass frame couldn't stand the blows. A distraught sigh manages past your lips as you support yourself against the very same wall. “I can’t do this anymore…” sliding down to the floor, you retrieve your phone. The only text logs were those from him three weeks ago. You sigh, hints of tears beginning to form in the inner corners of your eyes. You loved him, but it hurt having him so far away out of reach. It was bad enough that your love had to be kept secret, but it was too much to both be a secret and not even hear from him. You want more than this. You pull up a random text. ‘I love you too’ is what it read. “Yeah right...” You hit reply:

                   Jae-Oppa, how is filming? I bet you must be working hard, seeing how its been a little while since we last spoke. Keep up the work, okay? You really are a brilliant actor, everyone should acknowledge that fact. I’ve been well. School has been fine, and I still go to that café you like. I hoped that maybe we could go there soon, but, I have to be honest with you. After thinking about our position.. well, mostly your position, I don’t know how well of a girlfriend I could be for you. I miss you too much, and I can’t stand not hearing from you. It hurts too much waiting around for a call. And it hurts even more that I can’t talk to my friends or anyone for that matter about this because of your position. So I decided that maybe we should just break up. You should find a girl who could match up to your status. I don’t think I could be your flower any longer. Please stay healthy Jaewook-ssi. I’ll always have love for you. Always.

                Hitting the send button, you retreat to your room. The day dragged on. You couldn’t move from the same spot on your bed. You could only cry; dramas starring him playing on your television screen as you sulked. Within a few soft sniffles, you had cried yourself to sleep. Your dreams were filled with that man’s face. Despite how you felt, you couldn’t help but dream of happy things about him. Only in your dreams you could see him as much as you wanted. He called your name out, every syllable rolling off of his tongue in perfect pronunciation. You couldn’t help but blush. He calls your name again softly, his fingers finding their way into your hair. You smile as he caresses it tenderly. He whispers your name again. He pulls you against his body, heat automatically radiating against the two of you. His lips closer to your ear as he whispers your name again. It was like a dream come true. “Oppa… ‘ before you could speak, he presses a slender finger against your lips. You silence immediately. He smiles, dragging a careful thumb against your bottom lip. He calls your name again, “Hey… do you hear me?” You blink, confused. "Of course I hear you..." you think to yourself. “Do you hear me? Wake up, cutie.”

                The dreamscape starts to reel away; the dark of the night filled the room as you slowly opened your eyes. The room was the same, only now the television was on the DVD’s menu. You blink a few times; had the covers been this heavy before laying down? You reach for the remote on the night stand nearby. A hand startles you back to full consciousness. “You know… I never took you as the one to text message break up.” A cool stifled voice emerging from the darkness. It was him. Jaewook stood right beside you in the flesh. You notice now that he had tucked you in. How long had he been here? Did it matter? You were upset at him. But even in the soft blue glow coming from the screen, you couldn’t help but blush. You bite your bottom lip. “Missed me?” He teases with a smirk. Bringing your hand to his lips. Shutting his eyes, he places a soft, long kiss on the back of the hand. His brows furrowed as he had done so. His longing for you evident in his actions. You couldn’t help but be a little less upset with him. He reopens his eyes; immediately they set on you. “Listen to me and listen to me well, because I hope that I’ll never have to say this again." His tone hardens as he behings to speak, " I’m nothing without you. If I can’t have you, then no one can have me. I only love you, and if it takes me doing something that might end my career to be with you, then so be it. But I won’t simply agree to losing you.” He pulls back the covers, his knee the first to creep onto the bed. “I’m nothing without you…” he murmurs, his voice trailing off as he holds his gaze with yours. Inching his way closer to you, you couldn’t help but back away. As soon as he’s on the mattress completely, he pulls you in to his frame, just as he had in your dream. He whispers your name against your hair. Could you stay mad at him?

                A couple of seconds of silence pasts; traces of the scent of his body wash and cologne filled your nostrils. You bury your face into his chest, tears rolling down your cheeks. You could feel him smile. “You know I came all the way here as is? The director might be freaking out at this very moment trying to find me.” He chuckles at the reality. To you, its not so much of a joke. “Stop crying. I can’t keep a cool composure when you’re in tears.” His voice was like velvet. He spoke in a low tone, but to you, his voice was booming. He finds the end of your chin, tilting it up with a single finger.  You hadn’t noticed that he had been weeping as well. Granted, it wasn’t as bad as the tears you’ve shed before and even after his arrival. But there in his eyes were newly forming tears welling up in the ducts of his eyes. He couldn’t help it. You bite your lip, thinking up a protest to his being there, but all you could think about was him. He tugs at your lip, freeing it from the grips of your teeth. “Ya… you know what that does to me. Besides, you’ll leave a mark if you keep doing that.” You roll your eyes. This time you really were going to speak up. But a sudden kiss stops you before anything could have been said.

His lips were warm. His scent was even more intoxicating with being this intimately close. He holds you under his spell for a few silent moments. Slowly, he molds his arm around your waist, his hand holding you steady by the small of your back. His other hand finds its way to the back of your head, fingers tangling around in your bed head. He finally parts his lips; he takes a long drag of air in before shakily sighing against your neck. He whispers your name, traces of lust, longing, and an intense want lingering in his tone. “Please don’t leave me…” He burrows his face into your neck, his hold around you tightening. His usual cool exterior was gone. Here he was, Kim Jaewook, the man; not the actor. He was yours and only yours. You couldn’t help but tear up at his display of affection. Regret for the text coming and going. You could feel the forgiveness in his hold. He could feel how bad you felt for his leaving. He pulls back, a teary smile on his face. “Forgive me?”