L.Joe is a coward. Initially, he liked the idea of the couple Chunjoe that the fans came up with. The reason was because he did feel some sort of weird attraction to the other male. It was also obvious to say that Chunji also had that weird attraction towards him. It was a mutual feeling.

But as the coupling grew bigger and more well known, he started to worry what fans would actually think, if they were really dating or whatever.

He always avoided answering whenever his classmates asked about his actual relationship with Chunji.

What did everyone else really think about this? What if people made fun of this? So he decided to avoid the feeling altogether.

 

At the very beginning, when they were still trainees, Chunji had an attraction towards L.Joe. The feeling started to increase when he spent more and more time together. Now that they have debuted, he could stick to the rapper anytime he wanted. He was thrilled when he found out that the fans made a couple name for them making them one of the main OTPs in Teen Top.

 

The two members of Teen Top expressed whatever they liked on camera during the first year after debut. They constantly looked at each other and touched each other making fans declare they were “real”. They were playful with each other and carefree.

 

Chunji smiles when he hears L.Joe said he chose him over Ricky in front of the camera and high-fives the other. He could tell that L.Joe had feelings for him but the latter just didn’t want to admit it. It didn’t matter as long as they can continue doing what they were doing right now. Chunji just wanted to be close to L.Joe

 

Months after debut, Chunji could feel L.Joe avoiding him a lot on stage or on camera. More coupling in Teen Top started to emerge and it upset Chunji to no end, especially Rickjoe.

L.Joe didn’t want to show the fans that he actually did have feelings for that particularly girly member of the group so he covers it by sticking to other members.

Ricky without exactly figuring what was going on, loving the attention after the rise to popularity of the couple Rickjoe, continued to unknowingly cooperate with L.Joe. They stood next to each other more and they paired up more frequently.

 

Chunji backhugs L.Joe when the MC was talking to everyone trying to show some skinship. They were currently filming their reality show.

L.Joe listens to the MC talk with a smile feeling Chunji’s presence on his back. Pretending to not be aware of it, he shifts his body causing Chunji to drop his arms freeing L.Joe from his embrace.

Chunji doesn’t show it on his face but he feels his heart break a little more. It had already started to break. Although they weren’t an official couple Chunji still wanted to show affection for the rapper of the group. Why is L.Joe doing this so suddenly?

 

Chunji continued to show skinship with L.Joe to the fans. He wanted to show that he has feelings for the latter still.

 

“Chunji or Ricky?”

“For what? For dating?” L.Joe asks incredulously. Teen Top was having an interview and L.Joe was asked who he’d choose to date, Chunji or Ricky.

There was no need for hesitation in his answer because he clearly knew his heart went to Chunji.

Chunji smiles looking down in his hands. L.Joe should be able to answer this with ease. But he also had a feeling what L.Joe’s answer was going to be.

“It’s hard to decide.” L.Joes responds still not answering.

“Um..” he contemplates whether he should just answer Chunji or not. Answering it with Chunji would mean starting more rumors about their relationship. He didn’t want that to happen. But answering with Ricky was just out of the question for him. He didn’t want fans making news out of that either.

“Me?” Niel interrupts.

He can hear a few fangirls in the audience cheer and laugh.

Chunji feels his heart sink when L.Joe said be quiet to Niel avoiding the question but he laughed it out.

L.Joe lets out an unnoticeable sigh of relief.

Nothing. That was his answer. L.Joe always avoided questions like these.

 

Chunji watches as this time Niel and L.Joe were being extremely touchy during the reality show filming. He sighs to himself. L.Joe was definitely avoiding him more. And was starting to know the reason why.

 

“Why can’t we show any affection on screen?” Chunji had asked once.

“Why do we have to?”

“Can’t we show our love for each other to the fans? I mean fanservice?” Chunji hopes to cover his desperate asking with that excuse.

“There is no reason to!”

“Why…why is there no reason? All the fans…”

“I don’t want to.”

That was the end of the conversation.

 

Chunji was getting more and more depressed as the days passed and being the straightforward person he is, he had to confront L.Joe immediately.

All the members headed to the van after their practice and Chunji asked L.Joe to stay back.

“Hyung…you have something private to say to me?”

“Um…that…um…” he takes a deep breath. “Why are you avoiding me?”

“Avoiding? I’m not.” L.Joe asked surprised. Had Chunji really realized?

“Byunghun I can tell something as obvious as that ok?”

L.Joe bites the inside of his bottom lip.

“Is something wrong? Did I do something wrong?”

“No.”

“Then what is it!” Chunji pleads to know.

“It’s nothing.”

“Byunghun!”

“Just the fans are so over the top about our relationship.” L.Joe says casually. “I didn’t want them over-think things.”

“But aren’t all fans like that? And they like putting us together as a couple.”

“Yeah but that’s just our fans.”

“And? Are you embarrassed about this?”

“….”

“You’re just afraid of what others will think!” Chunji words pinpointed the exact reason. “You’re afraid someone will comment about our overly close actions and that they’ll judge. You’re always like this. Fixing up your hair, never showing your bad side, trying not to embarrass yourself in front of the camera whenever we are filming.”

“Is there something wrong with that?!” L.Joe argues back, anger started to boil in him. Why was Chunji suddenly bringing this up?

“I don’t care what others say. I’m not afraid of showing anything. I’m true to myself and to everyone else. I’m not afraid of making a fool out of myself. Why am I nicknamed a pabo? Because that is me.” Chunji was using all his emotions while talking and he feels his heart beat faster than normal.

“I may be an idiot but I don’t lie to myself. I love you and that’s a fact. That’s why I show my affection to you even in front of the camera.”

“Hyung ah…” L.Joe was surprised by Chunji’s sudden confession. He never imagined Chunji would ever do that.

“Byunghun. I can tell that you like me as well. So why. Why won’t you show it? You always avoid me in front of the fans and cling to others to stop any suspicions about our feelings for each other. We used to be close. Why do you care so much about what others say?”

“I…”

“Look at all our sunbae groups!! They never denied and stop their affections towards each other because they were afraid of what others might say!”

“Chan--- ”

“No! Let me finish. I won’t force you to say that you like me as well. Because I know you won’t. I understand! And you won’t change because that is who you are. You’re a coward! A complete coward. So you can continue lying to yourself if you want. I won’t bother you about it ever again! I’ll even keep a distance from you. Is three feet good enough?”

Chunji feels tears already threatening to fall from the corner of his eyes and he quickly turns around heading outside to their van. He didn’t want things to happen this way. He knew the reason why L.Joe was avoiding him. He only wanted the old L.Joe back by talking to him but now it was too late to change it. Chunji had already blown it by being too straightforward.

He faintly hears L.Joe calling for him but he couldn’t bring himself to stop to listen anymore. Besides, he didn’t want to show how vulnerable he was and how much he needed L.Joe.

‘Why did I say I’d never bother him ever again? Why did I say I’ll stay at least three feet away from him?’ He just hopes no one notices his swollen eyes.

 

At the dorm, Chunji immediately shut himself in his room. This made Changjo, Chunji’s roommate, start complaining to CAP who asked Ricky to shut him up who asked Niel for help who asked L.Joe for suggestions who in turn glared at all of them.

“Woah what’s with the two of them.” Niel says about Chunji and L.Joe after being glared at.

Ricky shrugs. “I don’t know.”

“I want my rooooooooooom!!” Changjo whines.

 

L.Joe lied on the bed on his stomach thinking. He messes up his air and slams his fist onto the bed.

“Something wrong?”

CAP enters their shared room worried about his dongsaeng.

“Oh hyung, it’s nothing.” L.Joe waves it off.

“I can tell when something’s wrong.” CAP sits on the side of the bed. “Does it have to do with Chanhee?”

“I uh…”

“I knew it.”

“You knew?”

“Of course. Well I mean I guessed, but I guess I’m right!”

“What did you guess?”

“That you and Chanhee were in a relationship and now you guys are in a fight.”

“Well, not really…” L.Joe sits up.

“Not really?”

“We aren’t in a relationship. We just had mutual feelings for each other.”

“That’s pretty much being in a relationship except the telling part.”

“The telling part?”

“Yeah, you have to tell him or he has to tell you.”

“Tell him…?” L.Joe says to himself.

CAP continues to blab. “Depending on who’s top and who’s bottom. It seems to me Chanhee would be bottom. I mean he probably wouldn’t like that but…”

“Thanks hyung!” L.Joe cuts CAP off rushing out the room.

“Pfffft. What was that? I wasn’t finished!!” CAP yells after L.Joe.

 

L.Joe knocks on Chunji and Changjo’s shared bedroom door. “Hyung.”

There was no answer.

“Open the door.” L.Joe tries to turn the handle that was locked.

“Hyung!” He pounds on the door instead. “HYUNG!”

The door swings open suddenly.

“Hyung…” L.Joe inhales sharply happy to see Chunji’s face again.

“L.Joe we have schedule tomorrow. I need my beauty sleep. Could you quiet down?” Chunji slams the door in L.Joe’s face. He covers his mouth so he wouldn’t make any sound that showed that he was starting to cry again. L.Joe could only retire to his room disappointed. Chunji called him L.Joe instead of "Byunghun" like he used to.

 

L.Joe stares as Chunji smiles as everyone else except him. Chunji didn’t even make any skinship or contact during the whole recording. That was a first.

It happened throughout the whole week and L.Joe was up with his patience. Even the members realized something was off.

As they were leaving the changing room, L.Joe pulled Chunji back. “Hyung.”

“L.Joe?” Chunji turns around surprised.

“Stop calling me L.Joe!” he yells exasperated.

“….”

“Call me Byunghun again.”

“Why? We have to use our stage names in front of everyone.”

“I’m not everyone.” L.Joe says firmly.

Chunji was taken back eyeing the part of his arm where L.Joe was gripping.

“About last week…”

“What about it? Byu--L.Joe we are going to make the sunbaenim wait if you continue like this.” Chunji tries to pull his arm away.

“Hyung.”

“L.Joe let’s go. We can talk----”

“Hyung listen to me!”

Chunji gulps when he hears L.Joe yell.

They stood in silence before L.Joe decided to break it.

L.Joe’s speech started off strong. “I’m sorry Chanhee hyung….” He gave a long pause pondering how to continue. “I didn’t know how you felt about it at all. I didn’t know how much it means to you. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to comfort you the other day. I’m sorry for being a coward.” L.Joe starts to ramble.  “I promise from now on I’ll make it up to you. I promise I won’t ever avoid this feeling anymore.” His voice starts to quiver and he feels stinging in his eyes and nose forcing himself to keep the tears in.

Chunji feels his heart beat faster and his stomach flopped.

“I love you so please don’t leave me.” Tears still fell from L.Joe’s eyes no matter how hard he tried to hold it in.

Chunji bursts out crying too covering his mouth and nose with the back of his hand. Tears flows uncontrollably from Chunji’s eyes as L.Joe pulls him into his embrace.

“I love you. I’m really sorry.”

Chunji shakes his head sniffling while wiping his tears on L.Joe’s shirt. “I was just being too rash. I wasn’t thinking…I shouldn’t have said that to you.”

“No, you made me realize that I needed to be a man and accept responsibility for this relationship. Just…just don’t ever leave me again. Ever.”

“Never.” Chunji smiles holding L.Joe tighter.

“I can’t promise to do well. I can’t promise that it’ll be perfect but I will try. I’ll try really hard. I made you wait for this long. I just hope I can make it up to you.”

Chunji sniffles wiping his tears. “It’s ok.”

“I love you…”

“I love you too.”

They continue to stay in each other’s embrace.

“Who was the one who said we’ll make the sunbaenim wait?”

“Yah! It’s your fault!!!”

 

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omg I have to stop writing stories late at night and never waking up and being late for late...-____-  (yeah see how late it is I meant late for school)

sorry if it was weird...

tell me what you think!! feedback please! :D