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Jiyong POV

I knew a girl who have so many crushes and she is Dara. Because all the guys she sees, she has a crush on them. If she saw something unique on them, she had this stupid crush on them with just a blink of an eye. Eh who on earth wouldn’t have a unique personality right?

But the saddest part is not even once she mentions that she has a crush on me.

Meanwhile here I am.  Struggling in keeping my feelings for her.

I don’t have I silly crush on her. Because I love her!

“yah!! Best, did you saw it?? Did you saw it? He looked at me!! He look at me!!!” she screamed while tapping my shoulder harshly. She tapped my shoulder with much strength but it’s okay. I’m used with it.

We are in the gym right now watching basketball game because Taeyang has a game. She just meet Taeyang yesterday and she ALREADY have a crush with him because she said she’s a GOOD at three points! Taeyang guy is not that handsome. Tsk… His handsomeness hasn’t even reach in my pinky finger. “Best!! Look, LOOK!!” she said pointing at him. “if Taeyang shot the ball, it’s Perfect Three Points!!” she screamed again while taking pictures of the monkey whom is flaunting his skills. Dara’s scream went loud when Taeyang got a point!

Tsk! I can do it too, even much better than that.

After she gets some pictures of the monkey, she seated back besides me.

“Ayy… the pictures I got are blurred” she pouted while sighing.

“ehh, how can you take a good picture of him when you scream while jumping up and down”  I said boredly. “aish!! I hate it!” she said like I’m not saying anything. Every crush she had, she always takes picture of them and it must be PERFECT! I guess that’s the only thing she did since we were in 5^th grade, taking pictures of her crushes. “I’ll take a picture of him again” she looked at the player before saying ‘there he’ll shot again’ but before she stand I beat her to it.

“Wait where are you going?” she ask curiously when she saw me standing. “Going home” I answered. I’m tired and sick! I don’t want to be a chaperon when she’s doing this. She’s always making me as an excused when she asked permission in her mother. Just like earlier, she told her mom that I will go with her to buy lens of her camera. Auntie has no objection because she trusts me much. When I look at her from the corner of my eye she stopped and maybe surprised because this is my first time to left her behind. Because generally speaking, I always go with her stalking her crushes. 

That is one of the reasons why my heart aches every time. All of her crush, she’s making effort just to stalked them but me? Even once she never did. In a simple reason that I’m always by her side.

I’m almost in the exit when she called me. “Wait best!! Wait for me”. I didn’t stopped even she called me. I’m sure she just wants me to go back there because she didn’t take a perfect picture of the monkey who’s good at three points shooting.  I rolled my eyes at this.

“Let’s go in Jabee!”  She invited me when she arrived besides me. She looked at me then walked back way while putting her hands at her back. “I’ll just find another crush! I can’t get a picture of him ehh” she said while smiling.

“No thanks” I said without interest and started walking. “are you angry with me?” she asked while following me. “No” I answered shortly. I’m not angry with you, I’m angry with myself.  Why of all girl here in this planet, why you?

“ehh? Why you sounded angry?” in her tune, I know she’s pouting. “I’m not” I answered shortly. I’m just upset with you because you’re so dense! You’re a lady but you’re dense as a stone. Can’t you see? Haven’t you ever think why I’m always agreeing to go with your silly plan to stalked guys like the monkey?

“You’re angry”

‘I love you dara!’ I wanted to shout at her those words. I don’t know since when it started but one day I woke up I knew I love you. I really like to tell her that every time I go with her. I always ended up hurting. My jealousy is eating me up every time I see her spazzing with other guys. Every day I always felt jealous.  What worst is that, not only one person I felt jealous but so many. I can’t even count it.

“if you’re not really angry then come with me in Jabee” she test me. I don’t know but her voice turned serious. I stopped walking then looked back at her.  “Sure” again I answered shortly then started walking towards my car. I didn’t talk so she did, I felt strange. It’s my first time hearing nothing from her and I wonder what’s inside her cute mind.

“I don’t like to go to Jabee” she broke the silence first. “Why where do you want to go now? Central Park?” I tried to crack a joke but I failed because she didn’t laugh. She shook her head then said she wants to go home because her mom’s cakes are much better that Jabee’s food. I didn’t say a word. I just change my route going to her house. “Wait, wait stop the car” I frowned while looking at our surrounding. Did she saw a guy? Where? I didn’t saw a guy except for a little kid who’s seating in the sidewalk. She opens her window then in my surprise she took a picture of the kid.

Did I see it right? But she brings the V100, and she said it’s exclusive for her crushes! “What’s the meaning of that?” I ask. She smiled before she said “I got a crush on the kid. Look even his dirty, his eyes are cute” she looked at the kid for the last time before she said “let’s go” then look at me.

I shook my head thinking why is she like that? Even kids she likes, but me whom always she see, she can’t. I started the engine and continue driving. I’m jealous. I’m really really jealous right now. Why can’t she notice me? Why can’t she like me? I give my respect in her mom when we arrive. She’s in the living room watching Talk show.

“it’s good that you visit Jiyong, it’s been a long time when you last visited us” auntie stated when I seat in the couch. I’m seating beside Dara while auntie seated in front of us. She turn off the television so we can catch up with each other.

“ah yeah auntie, it’s been a long time. I miss your bake cake for me” I said honestly then smile at her. Whenever I visit Dara, she’s always baking cake for me. There’s a lot of flavor like cheese sometimes chocolate sometimes vanilla, sometimes strawberry. But she never put icing because she knows I’m allergic.

“oh yeah! I forgot, I’ll be back” she said then go to the kitchen where I can smell the aroma of her cake. “I’ll get something to drink” Dara said then follow auntie to the kitchen. I decided to get a magazine to read under their center table while waiting. But before I open the first page of the magazine, the title of the Minnie magazine under from what I got catches my attention. It’s my first time seeing that magazine. I became more curious when I read the front cover that says

“My One Thousand Crushes”

Because of curiosity, I get the album then started opening. I regret what I did because I saw all the pictures of the guys whom we followed. What shall she do with the pictures of her crushes? Good for them. Dara exert an effort just to keep it all, almost five years we followed different guys. The way she made it really prove that she treasure it. It is hand made.

My eyes sting while I look at each page. I can’t feel any emotion except jealousy. What I am lacking? I’m running for top 1 in class. And she’s the reason behind it.  I want to be notice by her. I want her to liked me. Even just because of my intelligence. I really felt jealous when I saw each picture have numbers and reason why she likes them. I’m at number 999 and it means the kid earlier is the last one. I ask myself.

Dara, can’t you like me because I’m strong in keeping my feelings? For the five years we’re together? Five years I’ve been a fool. Hoping for nothing. I can’t take it any more so I close the album with so much force. I grip my fist tightly and at the same time my tears slowly forming in my eyes. ! I’m a strong guy yet here I am crying!! Shame on me!! I wanted to punch someone!! I want to burn the stupid album!! I want to find them one by one and punch them!!

I walk away from the couch and started fixing myself. I harshly wipe my tears. I should not cry! I’m strong! I’m a guy! But before I put back the album, I notice the writing at the back of the album that says

“My One True Love”

My one true love? So that means I don’t have a chance. I felt a pang knowing I never have a chance to start the battle because it’s already done. I got curious and once again I open the album started at the back.

My eyes widen and I even beat the person who saw a snake or a Dracula in horror. But of course in my state not in horror but in total surprise that I saw who is in the picture.

ME??!!!??

I rooted on my spot. I don’t know what to say. Is that really ME?? I think it’s really me because that picture say so but is it really me??!!

Kwon Jiyong is written in the caption. I feel relief, I feel like one thousand thorns lifted against me. I don’t know I should shout for joy or run to the kitchen then gather her in my arms.

She LOVES me!!!

To add to my surprise, the caption that written makes me smile wide.

‘I find so many reasons to have a crush on a guy. But with this guy, I can find none. I like… no… Love him for no reason. I just love him.’

When she return back, she got me staring in the last  picture of mine. I smiled, I find it funny because it’s the picture that taken when auntie bake cake for me then she flocked the chocolate in my face. I look like a street children who never takes a bath for a whole week. My shirt has a chocolate too, but still I’m smiling in the photo even I look lost. I think she didn’t notice because she can still talk.

“Jiyong! Let’s have coffee! It’s much better a— J-Jiyong” at last she notice me. I stared at her in the eyes and I can see she’s surprise. I smirked because she blushes as in blush like a tomato color. It’s first time that happens.

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END

A/N: so did you like it guys?? kekeke