Here was Zhoumi, a young boy of the meager age of 12, he was already a star in others eyes.  He was a talented singer; he was smart, outgoing, and a ray of sunshine to others.  He was the heir to a rich man who would give him everything he owned when he died; life seemed to be good for Zhoumi.  But, he was not happy.

Now, Zhoumi is in his 2^nd year of high school, he was fawned over by all the girls in the school, some boys even.  The rich man loved Zhoumi and gave him many expensive items such as watches, sunglasses, and things of the sorts.  He got top grades at school even if he didn’t try; he was every teacher, student, and parent’s favorite.  Many envied him but still, he was not happy.

Graduation year, final exams are over. Zhoumi, as expected, got top honors and came 1^st in the class.  He still was unfazed about his achievements.  Nothing seemed to make him happy, he had everything that every person wanted, the looks, the money, the brains, but why was he not pleased?

Simple.  He never truly experienced true love.

His life always revolved around money, greed, and things that were material. He never got used to love emotionally, he was taught that money was love, and you didn’t need emotions, just money and power.

But, Zhoumi knew better.  He learned about love seeing children being kissed and hugged by their parents when he was young, and he secretly held onto his ability to love, when the people around him told him not to.  He slowly was turning into a cold, emotionless beast. But, he would, is fighting back day by day. Maybe soon he’ll turn away from love, maybe soon he’ll give up, but not now.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Zhoumi crusied around Beijing in his black Audi, another small gift from the rich man, he sighed as he parked the car in front of a small café.  He got out and locked the car before walking in. Everything on him screamed rich, fashionable and the perfect man to marry one day.  He sat wordlessly at a table and glanced out through the window.  He heard the footsteps of the waiter or waitress but, heard nothing.  Zhoumi had expected the person to speak but, they had not.  He turned his head to see the waitress standing there still and unmoving, like she knew about the troubles in his head, and she didn’t want to disturb him.  She gave him a smile before she spoke.

“Hello, what would you like today?” her voice sounded like a melody, weaving though the ears of those who would listen carefully enough.

“Americano please.”

“Coming right up.”

And Zhoumi found himself visiting that same coffee shop for the next 2 months.

“You again, the usual I suppose?” She smiled and greeted.

Zhoumi gave the young waitress a nod before sitting at the seat he had sat in countless times before.  This time, Zhoumi’s thoughts lingered on the rich man; he had fallen ill 3 weeks ago and was lapsing in and out of sickness.  Some thought this was it; he was going to die soon.  That meant that all of his money, items, companies, everything he owned was soon to be Zhoumi’s.  That was hard for Zhoumi to wrap his head around, there were more and more people that he barely knew, was kissing up to him, all to get a piece of his soon to be fortune.  He hated it.  He hated that everything around him was full of greed; there was nothing true, just a game of lies, masks and the dirty hope of gaining his trust and usurping his money.  He didn’t like that one bit.

Zhoumi’s face contorted into a face of fury and anger, he could not take the pressure, his once unchanging face, was now replaced.  While his thoughts were still on the rich man, the young waitress had already placed his Americano down but, had not left.  Zhoumi looked up to see the girl.

“Do you need a hug?”

And she embraced him right then and there, and Zhoumi liked it.  That embrace was the first thing he had received not because he was going to be rich, but because someone actually cared about him, cared about how he was feeling inside and not because he was rich and powerful.

That day, Zhoumi learned about the girl, for the rest of her shift, they talked.  She told him about her life, simple but, she was happy, content.  Her name was Sun Jian and she made him happy, truly happy.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

For 2 whole months, they talked.  Zhoumi got her number and they became close.  She had no idea who he really was but, still showed him kindness and love.  He liked that, he liked that she wanted to know him, not because of his social standing but, his personality, who he was inside.  Zhoumi liked that feeling, that feeling that only she could give him.

He started falling for her, her personality, how she was always smiling, how she always listened to him, how she would just sit beside him not pressuring him to talk, just letting them be in silence.  He loved her, something that even himself thought it was impossible to do.

She started falling for Zhoumi as well and 5 months after they had met, they became a couple.  Utimatly Zhoumi had to tell her his story, who he really was.  Zhoumi confessed this to Sun Jian, and all she said was 3 simple words.

“Oh, so what?”

She had said in those 3 simple words that she didn’t care if he was rich or not, she still loved him regardless and Zhoumi knew she was the right girl for him.

Many got jealous of her and insulted her, accusing her of being with him was just a ploy, a fake.  She just ignored it and Zhoumi did as well.  He knew how she really was; he knew she wouldn’t do that.

Then, the rich man died, and everything broke loose.  There were news reports everywhere, reporters following the two of them everywhere.  They were both surprised but vowed to stay strong together.  They braved through thick and thin together, hand in hand.  Many tried to manipulate Zhoumi but, he kept his head on straight and ignored the lies.  And when a long day of work passed, he could always rely on Sun Jian being there for him, to listen to him and believe in him.

Soon, he didn’t have to care about the business and left it to the capable hands of the C.E.Os, he started living the way he used to, freely.  He started paying more attention to his girl, to repay her for listening and paying attention to him.  And so they went off to Seoul to live there for who know how long, to be content and happy.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

One day, Zhoumi rolled over to greet his girlfriend, for some reason they never tied the knot, maybe it was to avoid scandals, who knows. But she was gone, she left no note, took nothing except for a few pieces of clothing and left.  Zhoumi fell into sadness and pain, he was only comforted by the fact that he had good taste in girls since she took none of his money with her.

And his life became desolate.

He didn’t understand what went wrong between them, what could of caused her to leave.  Was it the pressure of the media? He had no idea but, there was that nagging voice at the back of her mind telling him that she never really loved him, she never did care, she never wanted him at all.

Zhoumi pushed these thoughts to the back of his head quickly as he tried to continue his life without her…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Zhoumi lived in pain for the next year, he wished she was still here, he wanted to relive his happy memories with her but, he could not, she was fleeting, evaporating into a tiny dot in his memory but, he never really did forget.  He wanted to relive the memories he shared with her o badly, he wished he could relive those moments again, when they first kissed, when they confessed, every tiny little thing about their time together. Zhoumi never stopped drinking Americano until she left, and he stopped because it was too painful for him.  But, he brewed a cup that day, a year after she had left.

He smelt the strong scent of fresh coffee filling his house, he smelt it and he dived into his memories, he saw fleeting touches of when he first met Sun Jian, their embrace that fateful morning.  He couls not see it all, he hated that. He couldn’t relive the moment, he couldn’t see it, and he could only feel small touches of it dancing upon his mind, heart, and body.  Zhoumi wanted her back so badly, the only comfort he had now was the smell of freshly brewed Americano, he drank that every morning, just to feel those memories with his lover again, like a song that has eternally been put on replay, over and over. 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Zhoumi opened his eyes to another dull emotionless day, everything wasn’t the same.  Sun Jian was not beside him, he had no clue what to do, his life seemed to start losing meaning without his lover.  He sat on the couch staring straight into space, nothing seemed to please him anymore, he just wanted her back.

He got out of his house to get the mail, and he noticed something different from the rest of the letters he got, the envelope was a chocolate brown and in blue ink was her writing.  He quickly reentered his house and tore open the envelope to revel a folded piece of white paper.  With shaking hands he opened the letter nervously.

Dear Zhoumi,

I’m sorry… I know I should not have left but, I did not want to bother you, or worry you.  If this was set up properly, this letter should have arrived about a year since my passing. I feel guilty not telling you but, I don’t think that you would have taken the news well; I did not want to pull you away from your world.

I left you a week before I was about to die, I thought about leaving a letter but, I couldn’t bear to write… It hurt too much.  You were always so kind to me, I’m sorry I couldn’t have repaid your kindness towards me.

I remember when we first met, you ordered an Americano. Inside of the envelope is a packet of the coffee, I hope you enjoy it.

I know that if I left that people would try to corrupt you, tell you that I never loved you… if you still trust in me, I just want you to know I never stopped loving you.  You were always the one I loved…

I’m going, well am buried at the cemetery my parents are… I know you know where that is.

I love you, only you.

Sun Jian

Zhoumi felt hot tears run down my cheeks and he ran and grabbed my keys.  Zhoumi hopped into his car and drove off to the cemetery, where she was, where his Sun Jian was.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

He walked through the cemetery, his knees feeling like they would give out on him at any second.  He finally arrived at her tombstone.  In the stone was engraved her name, Sun Jian.  That’s when Zhoumi collapsed to his knees in front of her grave.  Fresh tears stained his sullen cheeks as his dark eyes read over the cruel words the stone read over and over.  She was really gone, the girl he loved, was buried in the ground.

“I love you… I love you”

Zhoumi looked out before him, it was a cold, desolate road, with no forks in the long road, no place to go left or right, it just kept going.  His tall frame leaned against his car, his fingers tightly laced around his keys.  Tears was b his red eyes, evidence that he had been crying before, his face dark and down casted, like someone had kicked him over and over.

He wiped the tears away and opened his car door; he slipped inside and started the car.  The engine revved to life instantly and he sped off into the road, the one with no choices, no decision to make from left or right. He just went off.

He couldn’t relive those memories with her anymore.  He need something to bottle up their memories so he could live them over and over, he wanted to relive those memories so badly… He wanted to see, feel, taste, smell those happy, blissful moments again but, he could not.  Until then, all he has is the smell of freshly brewed Americano to try to feel her once again.