If you out there. If you somewhere. If you moving on. I’ll be waiting for you ever since you’ve been gone. I just wanna back the way it was before. And I just wanna see you back in my front door. And I say…

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When you lost the love of your life, you can’t decide whether to take it back or just to let it go. It hurt so much to let it go but you can’t be selfish and ask it to stay when you know that it want to go. It wanted to be free. And what made it more hard to take it back was because the one who made your love wanted to be free was you.

Because of your stupidity, clumsiness, and bluntness.

Your love can’t take it anymore and it wanted to be free from your prison. If you are mature enough, you will let it go and let it had its own life. But for me, it was the hardest thing to do. I can’t let it go. I can’t let him go. He was my sunrise. He was the one who wake me up and let me out from the darkness. He was the beauty of my life. I can’t let him just go like that.

But, I’m not that selfish enough to make him stay. I can’t stand to see him being torture by my selfishness. I wanted him to be happy, I love his smile and laugh. I wanted to stop the time and capture the moment when he smiled his wide smile or laughed his evil laugh. If let him go was the only way to make his life happy, so I just let him go. I just let the love of my life go. I just let my sunrise go.

I have to let him go. But still, it’s hurt so much. It hurt so much until I cried for three days straight. I cried all day, I mourned all day. I have just lost my other half. I’ve just died. I have died the moment he walked away from me after the punch and scream. I have died and all I did just tortured this living corpse.

But one day, I saw him. I saw him sat on a chair in our agency’s cafeteria, all alone. I have heard that he was as miserable as I am. And that made me worried. Doesn’t he left me so he can find his happiness? There was this little feeling on my heart. Does he still love me? And after eight months, it started to beat one more time. My heart was beating again.

We were laughed together like there was nothing happened before. We shared our moments this past eight months. And that butterfly in my stomach started to flied once again. In that particular moment I knew, I can’t let him go. I was fallen to much deeply for this guy in front of me. I don’t care if I was became selfish or so whatever they called it. I just wanted him back to my arms. I just wanted my sunrise back to it place.

If he can’t find his happiness with me then I will be the one who can make him happy. I will be the reason of his happiness. I will do anything to bring back the smile to his face. I will do anything to bring the light back to my sunrise.

“I miss you and us,” there I said it. And his reaction wasn’t what I’ve expected. I thought he would yell at me and walk away like what he did eight months ago in my apartment. But instead of yell he laughed and instead of walk away he shook his head. There I saw a color came to his cheeks, the color of pink.

“Please give me this one chance. To remind you of everything we had. I won’t give up, I’m too much in love. And I want you to know that.” he sang the lyrics with his wide smile. He looked straight into my eyes. “Just take my hand. Fall in love with me again,” he sang again. (Runaway – Bruno Mars)

And then he laughed shyly before he stood up and walked away from me who still tried to get my mind back. What was just that? What was that supposed to mean? I can’t think straightly. Does that mean he still love me? Or he just joked around with me? God, why should he sing in English? Do I looked like Tiffany or what?

I messed my hair before I stood up and walked out from the cafeteria. I walked aimlessly through the agency. I don’t know what to do. Does he still love me? But why he just left me like that? He didn’t even explain what he just sang before. It was English for god sake! How can I understand that song when all I knew just a basic English for introduction myself.

Suddenly there was something cold in my ear. I looked at someone, who slightly shorter than me, at my left. His face was facing somewhere else while he had an earphone in his right ear. And then I’ve just realized that something cold in my ear was an earphone that connected into his Ipod. I tried to focused my mind at the song that was sang by a girl, not to my heart that suddenly beating faster than it has to be.

“But you keep my old scarf from the very first week. Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me. You can’t get rid of it, cause you remember it all too well. Yeah.. Cause there we are again when I loved you so. Back before you lost the one real thing you’ve ever known. It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well. Wind in my hair, you were there, you remember it all. Down the stairs, you were there, cause you remember it all. It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well.” (All Too Well – Taylor Swift)

I putted off the earphone when the song ended. “You know, I didn’t get the song. You do know that I’m not that great with English, don’t you?” I said. But he ignored me and putted back the earphone into my ear. I let out a loud sighed before I realized that we were walked to the rooftop. The place where we used to spend our time cuddled to each other, back before, when we were still together.

I was shocked when I heard a familiar notes and voices. I looked at him in disbelief when I heard Jaejoong’s voice in my ear. Not that I didn’t appreciate his voice, but the song that was played into my ear made my heart and mind realized what this older yet shorter guy beside me was tried to say.

“I still love you and I still want you. I won’t ever be okay without you. Even if I seem attached. This is me. I didn’t even know, you’re all I long for.” (Babo [Unforgettable] – TVXQ)

“Kyuhyun-ah,” I called. But he just putted his finger in front of his lips, in other words he was said, ‘Shut up. And enjoy the song.’

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I make this story into two chapters because it's too long if i make it into a oneshot..

I really appreciate any kind of ur attention in this fic :) thank u very much /thousand hugs and kisses/