Nothing

Am I better off dead
Am I better off a quitter
They say I’m better off now
Than I ever was with her
As they take me to my local down the street
I’m smiling but I’m dying trying not to drag my feet

They say a few drinks will help you to forget her
But after one too many I know that I’m never
Only they can see where this is gonna end
But they all think I’m crazy but to me it’s perfect sense

 

“So you guys are done now?” Sooyoung asked as she hands Yuri another bottle of beer. The tanned girl just nod, she don’t want to talk about it now but she has to act like nothing happened. She’s always the strongest in her friends and she can’t let them see her breakdown.

“I reckon you’re better off without her.” Taeyeon commented.

“So you’re cool with it? No hurt feelings or something?” The tallest among them clarified, “Yes, Soo. I’m not hurt, she’s just a spoiled and aggressive girl anyway.” Yuri faked a smile but inside, her heart is crushing into pieces, “Now, hand me another bottle.”

And my mates are all there trying to calm me down
‘Cause I’m shouting your name all over town
I’m swearing if i go there now
I can change your mind turn it all around

And I know that I’m drunk but I’ll say the words
And she’ll listen this time even though their slurred
Dialled her number and confess to her
I’m still in love but all i heard was nothing

“Jessica! I hate you! You know that?! I hope you hear this!” Yuri shouted like a crazy person. She’s now walking aimlessly around the lonely city of Seoul. It’s 3am and Sooyoung and Taeyeon are following their friend who is going crazy.

“Soo, should we stop her?”

“No, let her be..”

Just then, they saw Yuri going to a familiar street, Jessica’s apartment.. The two latter thought at the same time. They looked at each other, trying to communicate using their eyes.

Yuri stopped in front of Jessica’s gate. She looked up and saw that her room’s lights were still open.

“Yuri, please let’s go home. I don’t want to make a scene.” Taeyeon managed to say it calmly. Yuri didn’t answer, she instead took her phone out and dialled Jessica’s number.

“Hello?” a familiar voice could be heard from the other line and Yuri once again has fallen inlove.

“Jessica…”

“Y-Yuri?”

“Look, please don’t hung up I just gotta say this real quick..” Yuri said in between hicks, “You know what, I love you. I freaking love you that I forgot to love myself. I gave you everything Jessica.. Everything.. and it’s nothing to you.. you’re my everything.. you’re my life..”

“….”

“Jessica.. Did you love me the way I loved you? Was I your everything as well? Did I turn your world upside down? Please answer me…” Yuri almost begged, tears are falling down her cheeks.

“….” Nothing..

So I stumble there, along the railings and the fences
I know if I’m face to face that she’ll come to her senses
Every drunk step I take leads me to her door
If she sees how much I’m hurting
She’ll take me back for sure

Yuri rushed up to Jessica’s apartment. She jogged up the small stairs and banged the door hard. Meanwhile, Sooyoung and Taeyeon are just there behind her, they can’t do anything now. Soon, the door squeaked open, revealing Jessica in her pajamas.

“Yuri?” Jessica worriedly called out, seeing Yuri in a mess hurt her but she has to resist.

“Jessica..” Yuri looked up to the blonde’s eyes, she can’t see anything; her vision’s blurry but she can tell it’s Jessica who’s in front of her, “Jess.. Please tell me.. Please tell me you loved me.. And I’ll be happy and I’ll leave you alone.”

“….” Nothing…

“Jessica.. Give me another chance.. I don’t care why you dumped me.. Just another chance.. I’ll be waiting for you.. At the park where we first met..” With that, Yuri stumbled outside, heading home.

Next day…

Yuri went to the park where she and Jessica first met. She’s still in a mess, literally. Her eyes are puffy, her clothes are not even proper and her hair’s messy. But she’ll do everything just to get Jessica back. It was snowing and she only have a cardigan on for warmth but it’s not enough.

She waited for hours.. and hours..

3 hours..

4 hours…

5 hours..

6 hours..

Still no sign of Jessica. She looked at her watch and realized she spent the whole day, waiting for Jessica to show up. She hung her head low, tears are falling from her eyes again.

 Then she heard some cheers just nearby. She turned her gaze to where the sound came from and there… she saw her.. with her husband..

Oh sometimes love is intoxicating
Oh you’re coming down your hands are shaking
When you realise there’s no one waiting

Am I better off dead
Am I better off a quitter
They say I’m better off now
Than I ever was with her