"I-I'm so sorry, " Donghae whispered, barely audible as he clutched a familiar photo tightly in his hands. "I'll never be able to make up for this. I'm so sorry..." His breath hitched as his heart clenched painfully tight together as tears slowly blurred his vision. "But you'll never have to know, I promise, so please... please don't discover, Hyukkie."

"How could this happen? Or rather, how could I let this happen?

Why didn't I notice it sooner, before things got so out of hand?

Maybe if I did, things wouldn't be so complicated. Maybe I wouldn't feel like someone ripped my heart out of my chest.

Maybe I'd be able to still look my best friend in the eyes.

But things like this aren't that simple. They never were. Somehow it happened without me noticing, slowly yet steadily it changed things within my own mind, messing with my feelings till everything became different, wrong.

I'm an idiot for not realising it sooner, aren't I?

I'm sorry, I really am. Guilt is driving me crazy and I want this to stop. I'm sorry... But that isn't enough, is it?

Because in the end I'm still feeling this way. It's wrong, so wrong. I'm filthy, tainted, disgusting, twisted.

Please don't come closer Hyukkie. I don't want you to be disgusted with me. I don't want to stain you.

I'd do anything to turn back time and prevent this from happening. I'd gladly sacrifice anything. 

If only I could...

But it's already too late to turn back. The flow of time is cruel and unforgiving, letting no one dream of a better past. There won't be a second chance.

I wish I could turn back but I can't. It's too late. Something changed inside of me and I don't know if I'm strong enough to change it.

But I'll try. I'll try with all my might. Mianhae, Hyukkie, mianhae.

Please don't give up on me yet."

So this is an Eunhae idea that just popped in my mind and it kept bothering me so I decided to write it down. I'm thinking of using a High School setting for the story, it would make things more natural... but I'm considering the Suju setting too. Anyway please look forward to the next (real) chapter(s?) and if you have suggestions or things you want to happen please let me know asap, I'm still working out the plot in my head so I might add it :)

Warning: I'm not a fast updater and it might not be a happy story, I'm still not sure. The story will probably deal with a lot of homophobia and hate, please note that it is all fictional and I personally support equal gay rights 100%. It's just for the story so please remember that fact :)