A/N: Please listen to the song below while you are reading

Lost In Love

It was almost midnight, with the B&O headphone covered her ears, Sunny was sitting at her desk and trying her best to finish exercises for the next day’s classes while listening to some instrumental music. Music never failed the short blond girl when it came to homework time, it always was the best method that help her to concentrate.

Suddenly, she noticed the Skype icon on her laptop’s screen twinkled, Sunny clicked it and there was a message from her friend.

“Hey Sun, have you heard ‘bout the ‘confession’ trend on internet these day?”

“Yes, but why you mention it so sudden?”

“Oh, I unconsciously read a confession just now and I think it’s similar to your story.”

“What do you mean pal?”

“Uhm … the story between you and … Taeng.”

Sunny froze for a while, if there was anyone wanted to talk to her, this was the last thing on earth she wanted to mention. Sunny was a type of person that could help others with their problems but she never ever let anyone help her with her own ones.

Shaking her head, Sunny did not believe what she heard from her friend.

“Stop kidding girl, it will never happen.”

“But Sunny ah~~, I’m telling you the truth. Whoever wrote this confession, it definitely looked like your story.” Staring blankly toward her friend’s words and thinking for a while, the short blond girl finally decided to ask her friend.

“Okay, just send me that link. I’ll read it after finishing homework.”

“Here, enjoy keke. I’m going to bed now.”

“Thanks and nite~”

“Nite~”

With that, her friend signed out, Sunny returned doing her homework, still did not think too much about the link.

Half an hour later, the short blond girl finished her work and prepared to go to bed. As she managed to shut down the laptop, she remembered the link.

“I think I should take a look at it.”

Dear my old friend, the one I love so much,

It could be my mistake since accidentally wanted to get to know and became friend with you. Because of that fatal conversation, we both got stuck in such heartbroken things. You know what? Our 4-year-friendship was not short after all, we were best friend, we even had the same idol group and bias the same member. It was really great and meaningful, especially with a girl who was lack of love-from-family like me.

 Being with you was the most wonderful thing I’ve ever gone through, talking with you made everything became colorful and lively in my eyes.

I remembered when you helped me with my homework and many other things else.

And I remembered when we fight against each other about our idol, our biases.

However, because we lived far from each other, mobile phone and Internet were the one and only way to keep us in contact. Although we were not able to meet each other frequently, those simple messages that we sent every day were enough to warm my heart.

And from that day, I started to dream of a day that I could move to where you were living, to hang out with you, and to stay beside you whenever you need me, like sisters.

I was wrong, it was my mistake when I began calling you ‘seobang’ and you returned me a favor by calling me ‘baby’. At that time, I thought it was just for fun as childish was my characteristic. I liked it when I was took care and I like it when I was loved. Then everything suddenly went beyond what I could image.

You said that you liked me.

I liked you, too, but I liked you as a friend.

At that time, I was too innocent as well as carefree that I did not know I hurt you so much. I unhesitatingly shared you a love story of I with a guy next class. Not until later, through a friend of mine and yours, I knew how hurt you had to suffer.

I’m so sorry…

I used to break up with you proactively as I was afraid that if we kept contacting each other, that kind of relationship could not be stopped. However, as I cherished you too much to leave you, leave a friendship that lasted for a long time behind my back, leave a friend who was also lack of love-from-family as me …

… I came back to you.

Being friend again for the second time was also my mistake. Because I did not realize that my “cherish” for you only made you hurt even more.

Because … I could not return your love.

I’m sorry … because we are both girls … while I only like boys.

Now, I chose to leave you forever. I changed my phone’s number, I rarely signed in my chat account as deep inside my mind, I knew we could not continue.

I’m so sorry …

I hurt, too.

Because the day I managed to make my dream of moving to the city where you were living was also the day I lost a friend. I had to force myself to stop being your friend.

Please forget me … I’m not the right person who can fulfill your heart. I’m not the one who can bring you happiness.

I know you miss me cause I miss you too. I cannot do anything to help me escape from the feeling of disillusion and emptiness. Our 4-year-friendship suddenly came and went away as a wind. Although I feel regret breaking up with you, everything will be worst if we continue. I just know it…

I still miss you a lot but what can I do? Please stay healthy. And I hope that if there is the next life time, we can be friend again.

Love ya, my chingu.

Sunny sat there, totally froze, numb, feeling nothing at all.

“Taeyeon…”

She wished her friend had never sent her that link.

She wished she had never opened it.

And she wished … she had could reply it.

But the short blond girl was not brave enough. She scared.

Sunny signed, then rapidly turned her laptop off and went to bed.

That night, she laid there, stuck her swollen eyes to the ceiling above.

Sleepless!

The End.