I always forget to tell you, I love you, I love you… forever.
Forever
Warmth.
Amazing wamth.
I had no doubt as Seohyun’s hand accidentally brushed my arm would be the warmest touch I ever knew.
I stare at her picturesque face as she’s in a deep slumber. Angelic. Tonight, she’s smiling that same coy smile she flashed before she kissed me goodnight. I close my eyes to make the shadows disappear and focus on the memory. I can still feel her lips against mine. I can still feel the persistence of them, the way they made a sensational pool in my stomach and send ripples through my body. I can feel her fingers too, tracing eager patterns on my shoulder.
My skin tingles. It’s not just a memory but a vivid memory, like every fragment of me that she touches is more alive than the rest. The feeling lingers. It makes the wait for the next moment like a glimpse of forever.
I twist the word around my head until it’s not a word anymore. It sounds more like a box of ideas that are not connected to anything, least to the gorgeous girl sleeping next to me who says that is what she wants from me.
Forever.
I shudder at the word. For someone like me, it is an unfathomable concept because before I met her it was all complicated. The word forever hurt a girl I once loved, a girl named Haelee. Forever was like the flicker of an eyelid to me before. It was just a word. Forever was just something I promised to give without even meaning it. I don’t want the things between me and Haelee to happen to Seohyun. I don’t want history to repeat itself. I love Seohyun too much to hurt her.
Forever is a lot of things but mostly irrelevant, now it is nothing but it feels like it is something I have to understand for she wants it from me. I can perfectly remember each moment I spent with her. I can recall each detail like I’ve lived it a thousand times. Is that forever? Is everlasting recollection the same thing as eternity?
I asked Haelee about it once. She told me that forever is flexible. That moment it may be gigantic as a mountain to an ant then the next it may be nothing.
I stare at Seohyun’s bedroom ceiling. I’ve been keeping her company for the past few days. Her parents are away and they’ve let me come here. It’s not that Seohyun’s a child. She’s 19 for heaven’s sake but I am thankful. I am than
Comments