I’m getting busier and busier these days. I have declined a couple of dates with Intae because I have to burn the night’s oil, studying university entrance exam questions. The last midterm exam had the students scored fairly well, but it was still slightly behind the principal’s expectations. The principal is in a bad mood and insists third year teachers revise the teaching syllabus and update our notes with something that relates closer to the exam questions. I have to come up with my new teaching notes by the end of the week, and so have been burying my nose in this endlessly piled up notes and exam questions.

The doorbell rings all of a sudden. That is a rare occurence since I live alone and my parents’ place is quite far from here. I get up and open the door, only to find Intae waiting at the doorstep.

“Hi, Yoonyul. It’s been a while,” he says to me. He is smiling, but he seems tired. He hands me a packaging, and it reads ‘Ginseng Tea’ or something. I take it in my hand.

“Thanks, but you don’t have to,” I reply, just as tired. I wait a bit, thinking he has something more to say but instead, he leans one side of his body at the wall beside him.

“Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

That was uncalled for. Well, I’ve been to his house before, but that was not planned. It never crosses my mind that he would visit me like this, not at times like this.

“Intae, I’m...” and I still have a lot of homework to do too.

“It’s been a week. I really miss you.”

I feel sorry for him for turning down all those date nights.

“Well, come in,” I said, subtly sighing in defeat.

He follows me to the kitchen as I put the packaging on the kitchen counter. He puts his hands on my shoulders and drags me aside. I look up at him, puzzled, but he simply smiles at me.

“You should continue what you were doing just now. I’ll make some tea for you.”

I return to the small living room, which openly connected to the kitchen. I curiously watch his every movement. He does look unused in the kitchen, but at the same time he looks completely fine and experienced. I wonder how many kitchens he’s been to.

“For your information, it’s my first time working in a girl’s kitchen.” He slightly looks over his shoulder, saying it as if he could read my thoughts. Well, that still doesn’t mean he hasn’t been to girls’ houses.

“If you’re curious, I’ve been to girls’ houses before. Only once everytime, after that, I never see them again. I’ve never been in a serious relationship before.”

This is new. He never tells me anything unless I ask. Since I take too much pride in myself, I never ask such personal things as to not appear interested in him.

“Why not?”

“Because they’re never serious about me either.”

Intae walks to the living room and sets a tray of hot tea and cut fruits in front of me.

“So why are you telling me that?” I ask, genuinely wanting an answer.

“Because I’m serious about you. And I really miss you.”

That is twice; him telling me that he misses me. His words make me blush. I’m a little uncomfortable with this new feeling. A bad feeling, a feeling of guilt for ignoring him last week.

“Well, I,” I clear my throat, “I’ve been busy.”

“I can tell.” He smiles and eyes the towering stacks of documents.

“Everything will be over by the end of this week, hopefully. Thankfully, Jungwoo has been helping me a lot.”

“The new guy?”

“Yeah. He gave me some notes from some top academies. He worked at a private academy before, and he has a vast good resources. A good chunk of these documents came from him. If I were to find all of these by myself, it would take ages.”

Intae nods several times.

“Maybe we can go on a date next week.” I suggest casually. Well, I don’t hate him that much these days, so...

“I probably couldn’t.”

“No?”

 “I might not be able to make time for that. Next week would be very hectic for me. That’s why I come here today.”

“Oh...” Well... Maybe the week after then...

“I’m going.” He gets up.

“Already?” I quickly cover my mouth. How the hell did that slip from my lips? I definitely didn’t mean a thing, I swear. But it’s too late. Intae is already looking at me with his gentle gaze and lazy smile. I walk him to the doorstep and open it for him. Intae puts on his shoes and instead of stepping out, he turns back to me, as if waiting for something.

“Yoonyul.”

“Yeah?”

“Come here.”

I don’t know what he is about to do and that makes me a little nervous. My heart is pounding so hard I could almost hear it in my ears, but I complied to his request anyway. I take a step closer to him and then he pulls my body close to him. He takes me into his embrace, entirely. I can’t believe how good that feels. After a while, he finally let go of me. He seems even more tired than before but he still puts up a smile as he finally turns and leaves without another word.

Is he having a difficult time?

Sigh. I don’t know if I should ask.

-

Seunghoon has been diligent with his attendance this week. I guess since the disciplinary teacher is assigned to supervise on the execution of his punishment. In the morning, he has to stay in the detention room and write a 10-pages reflection letter. He has to pick up trashes around the school compound afterwards and then clean toilets. But once he finishes all those chores, he just disappears. That’s where the problem comes in.

It’s Thursday and he has been missing his classes (due to the punishments) and the night study sessions; which he does on purpose I assume. His rather strict (despite the amount of neglect he had inflicted upon his son) father has been bugging me with persistent phone calls asking if his son has been on school or the night study sessions.

It would be bad if the principal knows that he has been missing the night study sessions while he is still undergoing punishments.

Sigh… Right when I thought he is beginning to open up and listen to me.

Today, I leave my last class five minutes earlier, just so I could stumble upon the chance to catch this little devil. I wait patiently outside the toilet he is assigned to clean, wait, and wait until my prey finally appears.

“Kim Seunghoon!” I grab his shoulder. He slightly jumps from shock but sprints away from me in that very instant.

“Hey, Kim Seunghoon! Stay right there!” Oh, damn this skirt! I could have run faster if it wasn’t because of this damn floral thing!

Out of a corner, Jungwoo suddenly appaears ahead of us. He seems to catch the situation right away and reaches out his hand as soon as Seunghon passes him by. The boy almost stumble backwards when the back of his shirt is grabbed tight by none other than the new teacher.

“The !”

“Hey, watch your mouth!” Jungwoo scolds him. “Your teacher is calling your name. Don’t you think you should stop and response appropriately?”

Meanwhile, I’m already out of breath from the short catch-me-if-you-can moment. “Thanks, Jungwoo,” I tell him breathlessly. Oh, god, I can just imagine how awful I must look right now. That aside, I quickly put my focus on Seunghoon again. He avoids my eyes and clamps his lips tight, probably keeping all the cuss words inside.

“Hey, you, Kim Seunghoon. Do you-” pant, “have any-” pant, “idea… How worried I was everytime you-”

“I told you to stop being such a busybody!”

“Hey!” Jungwoo chided. I subtly shook my head at him, and a look of understanding dawned upon his face.

“Where have you been these days?” I ask him.

Seunghoon just rolls his eyes and says nothing. I’m upset at the way he acts towards me, but being patient is the only way to reach out for a kid like him.

“Seunghoon, answer me, please,” I beg, but sternly so.

“I didn’t do anything funny, alright? I’m just at Intae’s place,” Seunghoon finally gives up.

“Intae? Does he know?”

Seunghoon sighs and ruffles the mess on his head, frustrated. “whatever!”

I just realize that he had let our guard down and he takes the chance for another escape. Jungwoo quickly look at me, as if asking if he should chase after Seunghoon.

I sigh in defeat. “It’s okay. Let him be. I have someone else I should talk to.”

-

Attempt #1.

Caller ringtone.

Milisecond of silence. “Hey, Intae. Do you-”

“Hey, this is Intae. I’m not available right now so please leave a-”

I’ll just call him later.

Attempt #2 (a couple of hours later).

“Hey, this is Intae. I’m not available right now so please leave a-”

Maybe a text message?

Hi, Intae. It’s Yoonyul. I need to talk to you.

Attempt #3 (the next day).

It’s a free period between my classes so I crossed the school ground to the university. I look for him at his office but he’s not around so I ask around a few music students.

“Oh, Mr. Jang? I don’t know, our class is cancelled today.”

Attempt #4.

School ends. Intae hasn’t replied to my text. Maybe I should give him another call.

“Hey, this is Intae. I’m not available right now so please leave a-”

Attempt #5.

My patience is almost reaching to its limit. After school, I took a taxi and headed to his workplace.

“I’m sorry, but Mr. Jang is not around right now,” the receptionist tells me.

I sigh. “What about Seunghoon? Is he here?”

“Yes, he’s been coming here everyday. He’s been working really hard at the studio. I heard that Mr. Jang really likes his works.”

“Do you know that he’s been skipping school? Does Intae tell you anything about that?”

“Oh,” a look of concern immediately layered her face. “I didn’t know that. I thought…”

“I’m trying not to let the principal knows because he might get punished again. Maybe you guys can prevent him from coming here on school days?”

“But Miss Bae, maybe it’s better for him to come here than going somewhere else? I’m sorry if I-” she utters her opinion timidly.

“Oh, no, you’re right.” I bury my face in my hand, realizing that she was right after all. “I really need to talk to Intae, though. Do you have any idea where he might be?”

“Well, maybe you can try to look for him at this bar?” The young receptionist scribbled an address on a piece of paper. I read the name of the place.

Fucshia Night Bar. That’s the place of our first date.

“It’s his favorite place. But he seems troubled these days. He might be in a bad mood right now.”

I ignore her additional information as I give her a small smile and wave. “It’s okay. Thanks, Shiyoung!”

I head straight to the place and opens the heavy door carefully. I can still remember the jazz in the background and the cozy atmosphere. There are a lot of people tonight, but they are all rather chill and murmuring softly. I look around a little bit and found Intae right away in this small lounge. He is sitting at the bar counter, his head hangs low and a half-empty glass in his hand. I am about to step towards him but stop when I see a girl coming from behind him. She wraps her hands around his neck but he limply peels her hands off him. The girl seems a little upset at his reaction. She picks up her purse which sits on the stool next to him and then brushes past me as she exits through the door.

I know what I saw just now doesn’t prove anything but I feel anger bubbling from my core. I’ve been desperately looking for him and here he is drinking and – probably – playing with girls. I brush the thought aside and step towards him with the origin of my purpose that is stubbornly plagued in my head.

I stand right beside him. He looks so depressed that it bothers me, but I quickly remind myself to keep my priority straight. I come here for Seunghoon, and Seunghoon is the most important for me right now.

“Jang Intae. I’ve been looking for you this whole time. Why aren’t you responding to my calls and messages?”

“Sorry,” Intae simply say without even looking at me. “It’s just, right now is a bad time to talk with me.”

“We need to talk,” I insist.

Intae sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know, Yoonyul. Maybe tomo-”

“Jang Intae, now.” I walk away, leaving the bar. I stood in front of the shop next door, which is closed already. There are not much passer-by’s around. I hope Intae follows me and thankfully, he did. Intae stands next to me, leaning his back against the shop’s shutter door. He looks at me with hooded eyes. He seems tired, I almost feel bad for forcing him into this conversation.

“What is it you want to talk about?”

“Seunghoon. I need to talk about Seunghoon.”

Intae sighs and rubs the back of his neck. He clearly shows that he is uninterested. “What about him?”

“The boy really looks up to you. Can’t you be at least concerned?”

“What did he do this time?”

Disappointed, almost losing my hope from the way he reacts, my voice turns quieter. “He’s on detention, but at other times, he’s been missing classes. He goes to your company most of the time. Can’t you talk to him about it?”

“Why should I? It’s totally his decision.”

“Intae, he might get expelled if this keeps up! I want him to graduate, and you know that’s important for him! Aren’t you concerned?”

“Look, I’m just putting him to the right path and keep him out of trouble. Anything else, it’s not my responsible anymore. It’s not like he’s a little kid anymore. The kid decides for himself.”

“He is still a minor! He still needs guidance from adults!”

“I’m not his father! I don’t have the time to keep my eyes on him all the time!”

“Help me out a little bit!” I raise my voice, frustrated.

“Why don’t you just ask that new guy for help since you think he’s so good!”

Hah. What’s the sudden name-dropping?

“Are you jealous?” I ask, taunting him.

“Yes,” he admits firmly, his eyes now sharp and intense.

Wait, what?

“ Yes, I am. I have insecurities too, you know? You keep saying that you hate me. I’m not a mind reader. I don’t know if you feel the same way I do about you.”

His answer came unexpectedly. I thought he would go all ego and make up some excuses that would annoy me. But he didn’t. He simply told me the truth. He told me what he actually feels inside. I think he’s really sincere and that’s just amazing and adorable and lovely. If I was in his shoes, I probably would not answer it that way.

And somehow, that makes me feel like kissing him.

Intae sighs and look away. “I’m sorry. I told you it’s a bad time to talk.” He leans away and ready to turn around but I stop him. I grab his arm tight.

I walk closer to him, tiptoe and claim his lips. I feel possessed. I just suddenly feel greedy and kiss him with all my heart, like he is so precious to me. No, he is. And he kisses me back.

I have no idea about what I just did.  It just happened.

Reality sinks in as my lips hesitantly leave his. My cheeks heat up. I mentally kick myself for being so random and shameless. I just stare at him and blink a lot because I have nothing to say.

“What was that about?” He asks me, his voice low and husky, like he is still half-dazed from the kiss. I’m a little scared be honest. Does he hate it? Does he hate the way I behave just now?

Instead of trying to find answers that won’t help me in this situation, I just turn around, ready to dash far from him. My steps are halted when I feel a strong grip on my wrist. Still, I refuse to face him again. For some reason, it’s just really humiliating right now.

“You don’t just run away after kissing me like that.”

I am not looking at him right now, but I can hear the smirk in his voice.

“If I hate you, I wouldn’t have put up with you this far, idiot,” I admit, finally taking down my pride even though that hurts.

I try tugging my hands off him, but his grip tightens. Effortlessly, he turns me around to face him again. He slightly pushes me and I hit the wall. I brave myself to look up at him. He is smirking at me. Attractively so. The gap between us narrows as he leans closer. I part my lips to warn him about the thing I think he is about to do but he was quicker. He has claimed my lips first. At that moment, I forgot all about my warning or my ego, or the fact that we were fighting just a while ago.

He is one damn of a good kisser.