Alex's POV

I spend sleepless nights in a dark room trying to process the Karma has brought me.. I killed an unborn child and now I am dealing with my own death..

"I'm sorry Miss Park.. You have Stage IV Colon Carcinoma.." The doctor said and I went blank.. I heard about the surgery.. the Chemotherapy.. everything but none of it came into me..

When my mom knew about the mis carriage that Mrs. Cho had..  the love child.. the child that makes my beloved Kyuhyun happier.. the only person who can pull them together as i tried to tear them apart.. My mom left me.. abandoned me.. dis owned me with everything.. 

My friends.. when they know about my drama.. they find me helpless and pathetic so they left me too..

What about the man I love? Cho Kyuhyun press charges against me after he saw what I did to her precious wife..then when a common friend mentioned my condition.. he withdrawn the suit and he never talk to me again.. I could not blame him.. I killed his baby.. his wife left him and nowhere to be found. 

"How long shall I live?" I asked the doctor and he sighed.. The first person I see in mind is Mrs. Cho.. the poor innocent Mrs. Cho who spent all her life loving Kyuhyun and when I left him he finally saw her worth.. I envied her a lot.. she is his number one even when we are still together

"It depends with the prognosis. the surgery and the treatments.." he said .. That's it.. death.. 

"What if I refuse all treatments?" I bravely ask.. yes i have to do this.. not to ask pity but mercy from the lives i damaged...

"Then .. I am sorry.. it will be short.. 6 months? 4? it depends Miss park.." The doctor said and i left..

Now I am here at Busan.. lying on a dark room as I held on a piece of paper.. the only hope I have to redeem my self.. to die with the mercy I am longing for.. I sold my car for me to hire private investigator to find Mrs. Cho

I gently closed my eyes as I clenched my teeth.. the excruciating pain from my belly make me feel weak.. the blood I pass out.. I lost a lot of weight as i lost everything.. 

Time to sleep Alex.. 

I was admitted on a private room in Busan.. My mother is kind enough to pay fro my expenses as she known about my condition.. She promised me to visit me after he arrange a flight for me to US.. which in my condition.. I cannot.. 

I hear an angel talking to my nurse.. her voice is sad.. I know.. I used to hear her voice in a happy tone.. now.. she's empty.. What i have done to her..

I saw her standing on my door as I prepared my self being slapped and being beaten up.. Dr. Kim/Mrs. Cho is infront of me.. Crying as she take gentle steps..

"_______ forgive me.. I've done such terrible mistake..Forgive me please.." i cried and she run towards me and hugged me tight.. She hugged me.. The person who hates me for ruining her marriage, breaking her heart, murdering her child... is here.. giving mercy

"What happened to you ALex? Oh God.. this is not what I asked from you.." she cried and i cried harder.. I can't blame my beloved Kyuhyun if he fell for her.. she is selfless..

"Alex.. please stop crying.." she rocked me gently like a sister.. 

"I am sorry.. please forgive me.." I whispered and everything went blank...

I woke up with this angel beside me smiling.. 

"Hi!" she beamed at me.. 

"Please..for.."I said and she cut me off..

"I forgave you.. but what you did is unforgettable.." she said and i sighed.. How lucky you are Cho Kyuhyun

We spent time on the garden as I release my regret of hurting her.. then it's a routine until she finally gave her forgiveness

"My off will be tomorrow until Monday.." she said as she checked the chemo that she insisted for me to have.. she blackmailed me that she will never forgive me if I did not do this.. Oh god.. it's painful.. 

"I will go to Seoul.. it's been months.. I need to go back there..' she said and I nod as I try to hide my pain..

"Have you talked to him?' I asked her I prayed last night that I will be willing to gave up my life for them if they will be back together

"Alex..I'm not ready yet.." she said

"But it's not her fault.. I told you.. nothing happened to us.. I once seduced him on your house but he pushed me away.. It's my fault not his.." I try to explain for her to forgive him as she did to the worthless creature like me

"But he never trusted me.. he lied to me.. he think lowly of me.." 

"It was I who feed him those doubt _______." I said and she wiped her tears..

"Get to sleep..' 

"Please come back.. I need you." I said as I try to hide my pain.. my belly is here again.. 

"I'll be back.." she said.. 

I called her using Nurse Park's cellphone.. she is confused.. I think she seen him.. or maybe talked to him.. I know she lied when she told me that they never met..I need her.. the only person who loved me at this point of time..

Finally I stopped my morphine to feel the pain/..then. Kyuhyun arrived.. he's crazy mad and yelling at me.. as his wife trying to calm him down at the same time as she try to calm me down..

"What's this drama Alex?" he yelled and I crushed into pieces.. I deserve this..

"Stop.." _____ stand in between us..

"Stop crying for God sake!!" he roared.. and his wife slapped him..

"Oh.. so you forgave her? what about me? when will you are going to forgive me?" he asked her and he kneeled down I can't breathe.. I'm in pain.. I can't breathe.. I gasp for air as i hear the monitor alarms.. I see darkens.. all I can hear is my angel crying.. calling my name.. giving me CPR.. 

Days has passed.. Kyuhyun is still cold but he talked to me now differently.. They even fight in front of me... Of course I'm jealous but I have to take it.. She is blabbering about the flowers she received from a stalker as Kyuhyun is mad because of jealousy..I laughed.. but pain.. it's painful.. my stomach hurts.. I vomited blood and I concealed it to Mrs. Cho.. Kyuhyun steals kiss from her.. and she return it with a slap.. Oh it hurts.. God please.. 

I finally signed a waver: STOP ALL THE TREATMENTS and was about to sighn DNR (Do not resuscitate) form when Kyuhyun arrived.. 

"Please Alex.. don't sign DNR.. _____ told me about it.. even your treatment.. your morphine.. please.." Kyuhyun held my hand... The man I loved.. but now.. The feeling is gone.. I thank God for that.. 

"Kyuhyun I was so obsessed with your attention.. every body's attention.." I hardly breathe as oxygen mask is on my face.. i want to take it out but the blood gushing at my making me weak.. I'm losing blood and he even donated a bag of blood for me.. 

"Shhh.. don't cry.." He whispered

"Like you and ________ I'm having nightmares.. and the worst thing is.. Every one left me alone.. The most painful punishment I ever received was being cared by _____ whom I hurt so badly." I said as my lungs started to fail.. Oh yes God.. please.. 

"That's why I'm here.. to forgive you.." he hold my hand.. I finally got the strength to take my mask off and I smiled

"That's all I need.. I can now rest.. It's been a month since I pray that the two of you forgive me and be together again.. I know Kyu.. she's still in love with you.. just give her time..' I said and my surroundings becomes blurred.. I can't see anything.. I hear the monitors go crazy again.. Kyuhyun please call my angel i want to hold her hand before I die.. 

"I refused everything.. because I am so tired.." I said and suddenly everything went black.. all I can hear is my angel Screaming

"Code Blue!" 

"Baby please step back.." she yelled at her husband..

"Alex.. Alex.." and her beautiful voice finally fades...

Thank you.. for forgiving me... I'm tired.. I need to rest

________________