Yesung was aware the he was there. He tried to be aware enough to comfort Zhou Mi as the Chinese man cried on his shoulder, he was also partly aware that he was holding onto someone's hand. He deducted it must of either been Henry or Kyuhyun, they are the youngest and need the most protection afterall. But really all that Yesung could focus on was the white double doors at the end of the hallway. The ones that sealed him away from Ryeowook, how his was doing, what was happening. Not knowing what was happening to one of his closest brothers is what was killing Yesung most. The looks of pain haunting him, the weighing feeling that he was to blame, well he knew that he was partly to blame. He had his chance and now his was powerless, left alone with his thoughts and the only thing to look at was that white double door. Yes, Yesung was surrounded by his brothers but he couldn't watch them cry, brake not knowing was he knew. So he stayed eyes glued to that while double door. The white was so bright and clean so untouched, the errie bightness of the doors made Yesung frightened. The white seemed so striking and untouched, neutral  yet uncertain. The worry growing in the pit of Yesung's stomach. Looking at the white mixed with the worry, yesung shivered, he had always hated white. But Ryeowook loved white, his Ryeowook who dotted around his loved ones like a mother hen, the Maknae they all needed and relied on. The one they couldn't function without. 

~Flashback~ 

In Yesung POV

I carried  Ryeowookie to his room so that he could sleep. When i hugged him in the car he was so small. It's was scary how much he has lost. I could feel him shivering slightly the whole way home if he doesn't feel well or is tired why doesn't he tell us. I can't think of the last time I hugged him to compare how much he has lost. God it must have been months. Properly thinking about it i can't remember any member hugging Ryeowook, it always seems to be him resently, and back hugs at that. But he always said that his back hugs were reserved for Henry. I was brought out of my thoughts when Ryeowook whimpered slightly, he must be having a bad dream unless.  Every situation under the sun was running through my mind, one after another. No Ryeowook is having a bad dream Zhou Mi hasn't spoken to me, he isn't worried about anything so neither should I. I sat looking at him and held his hand , hoping it would calm the pain. Whether it is in his dreams or physical I don't like seeing my dongsaengs in pain. 

I jurked when I felt a hand on my shoulder and I found Leeteuk staring down at me. 

"Thank you for not returning for the luggage. I had to convince Heechul to go downstairs. I wouold watch yourself and your turtles if I were you" 

"Sorry Hyung, Ryeowookie was having a nightmare I wanted to make sure he was ok" 

I noticed Leeteuk's face soften slightly. 

"I'm sure that he will be fine but would you like to sleep up here tonight. I know that you have missed him alot more so than our other babies." 

I nodded and smiled at the sleeping boy beside me.

"I'll sort out a futon" 

So I slept in Ryeowook's room. It's been lonely in my room since he moved up here. I fell back onto the bed after looking over to my ex-roommate letting the feeling of someone in the room comfort me. The comfortable warm feeling sending me to sleep. It was the best sleep I have had in months

~Out of POV

Ryeowook woke with a start, sitting bolt upright as pain stabbed him in the stomach. He went to dash to the nearest bathroom when the another wave of pain hit him. Ryeowook was beginning to wonder if he should see a doctor. It wouldn't be anything serious, he could chuck him some pain relief pills and it would all be fine right. Ryeowook jumped when he heard the slight snoring sounds beside him, when he turned his head he smiled dispite the pain at the elder. He began to wonder what the elder was doing there when he remembered the staircase getting fuzzy as he climbed the stairs. Yesung must have brought him to bed. He would have continued looking at the elder and thinking of their blissful relationship as brothers but a wave out nausea washed over him. He shuffled quickly yet quietly to the nearest bathroom being careful of the elder infront of him. Half an hour Ryeowook spent in the bathroom. Finally this covered his resolve to plan when he could call his doctor. Ryeowook would never aadmit this to anyone else and he couldn't admit this to himself because that would make him weak, but the little eternal maknae was scared. He was in over his head with the illness he was choosing to ignore. Seeing the amount of blood that ended up in the toilet during that time ryeowook knew he couldn't brush this off anymore. But worst of all he felt that soon he wouldn't be able to cover this from his brothers and he would cause unnecessary panic to them. No he couldn't do that, he couldn't cause them more stress more bother. After all they had enough problems of their own they didn't need his. Ryeowook, was a man and it to him was time to act like one. Going through the schedule of the day Ryeowook figured that he could call the doctor in private around 2pm that would be the only break long enough without anyone listening. His doctor who, in knowing his schedule and lifestyle, always made sure that he could see Ryeowook even if it meant that him and some of his staff would have to come back in the early hours of the morning. The staff themselves didn't mind Ryeowook frequently talked to them when he came in, sent them items and food. Pretty much all the staff adored the short man and therefore didn't minded the awkward timing. Looking at the time (4:30 am) Ryeowook sent off the the kitchen spent 5 minutes with a glass of water and pain relief medication before up the pain and started to make breakfast as both dorms would be up at 5 am anyway.

~Yesung POV

When I woke up the next morning i felt the cold lonliness creep back into my conciousness, I shivered pulling my knees to my chest and laying my head on top. I hadn't told anyone but for the whole of the promotions in Taiwan this was how I woke up. Why not tell anyone? It's pathetic, a grown man of my age scared to be alone. So affected my being alone half the time I woke in tears. That was not something to be brought up in conversation. It wasn't something that could be explained away. It was just me. After a few minutes I realised, my brothers were home and I was in Ryeowook's room in the Dorm above so why did I feel so lonely? I turned my head towards the bed and jumped up when I saw no Ryeowook there. I raced out the room to hear sounds in the kitchen and two voices mumouring. I walked slowly towards the kitchen trying to figure out who these two mysterious intruders were ready to attack if they had my Ryeowook in their grasp. But as I reached the door I let out the breath I didn't know that I had been holding when I realised that the voices belonged to Heechul as Ryeowook. I calmed myself and walked into the kitchen. Ryeowook looked like he was doing to burst into tears and Heechul looked angry? No that wasn't anger, surely that look isn't. Heechul is worried about Ryeowook. Well, worried about whatever the two had been talking about previously. The silence after I walked in was thick like treacle.Not one of us moved, spoke or anything weighed down by the silence. It was only broken when Ryeowook started coughing. I went to help him to find that Heechul had jumped from his seat and was at Wook in a second. I got a glass of water as Heechul held onto one arm, patting him on the back with the other. Heechul was also whispering into Ryeowook's ear i assumed he was comforting the younger until I walked up with the glass and heard something I wasn't supposed to.

"....Wookie this is enough it's not right. Please go and get it seen to. I can't lose another brother."

I stood there confused and made a mental note to track down Zhou Mi and have a well earned catch up maybe there was something i needed to know afterall.

~End flaskback

Yesung could have hit himself at the thought of the morning that wasn't even that long ago. If only he had listened then. If only he had paid attention. If only, he had listened to his instrict. If only, he was a better brother,friend. If only, he had taken the time to notice the signs that had been increasing over the last few months. One single tear fell from Yesung as he cluched the hand he was holding as if his life depended on it because "If only"'s weren't going to save Ryeowook now. Saving Ryeowook was no longer in Yesung's control.

A/N: So I have written this solely on the internet. Normal I hand write each chapter then type it up improving it and what not but I haven't with his so if it tell me I will go back to the old method. Also, same if there are too many errors ok. 

The next chapter will be either Zhou Mi or Heechul. 

I hope you enjoy it.