The Necessary Encouragement

Yesung sat at the foot of his bed, the soft comforter warm and soothing beneath him, legs spread out in front of him dangling a little, the toes on his left foot brushing against the wooden rug covered floor in an uneasy haphazard pattern, his clothes tight on his skin, despite the fact that he had taken off the heavier outer clothing that he was wearing earlier. His eyes following the motions of his toes, mind in a faraway place wondering about the chances of success and the likelihood that he would embarrass not only himself and the producers, including his hyung and sunbae but the band mates far away that trusted him as their lead vocalist. His mind showering him with visions of failure and missed notes, nervousness and a displeased crowd. He had so much riding on this, so much hopes and wishes and if he was his usual self and screwed it up there was nothing that could be saved.

Kangta would murder him and he would make them all sad.

He knew he was a good singer though. Well, he had heard it many times and sometimes he felt pride when he heard his voice belting back at him from a supermarket or a department store or better yet when he is in a café in a foreign country. It’s nice to hear his husky voice and know that people like it, that he can help in that way. He always had pride in his name, but sometimes it was a little burdensome. When you are named ‘Yesung ' and it literally means ‘Art Like Voice’, people would have expectations of perfection and greatness. Whilst he was sure he could more than hold his own and out sing the majority of idols out there, he worried and endlessly at that. He had to give meaning to his name and bring some honour to himself. He couldn’t just be mediocre, but he had to be great.

He had to deserve the name he was anointed with.

When Kangta selected him to sing the song he wrote, he had naturally placed trust in him. He had trusted him to give justice to his hard work, to make the feelings and emotions real, to convey all the hurt and longing that he must have felt when he wrote that amazing song. He couldn’t let him down, couldn’t fail to give his song true meaning and worst yet he couldn’t fail to make the song something special. It was so heavy on his chest, then he had to remember that not only was Kangta trusting him faithfully, but so where the producers of the drama. They expected to use his voice to give life to their drama, to make it something that people could feel and understand, to use his voice to weave a web that could lure people into the emotions that the actors were trying to convey. Out of all the other amazing singers out there they had chosen him, had trusted him to make their hopes a reality and make them proud.

 If that was not a weight on his shoulders, he didn’t know what was.

It was all so scary, thinking about the many people that were depending on him to go out there and do something especially. It wasn’t long either until he thought about the people that caused him the most worry. The knowledge of his band mate’s trust and expectations were the heaviest of them all.

He was their lead vocalist.

He was their representative and the voice that was supposed to give them all salvation. Even if it was a solo stage, the second he stood on that stage he was going to be Super Junior’s Yesung and he would be the representative of them all. He not only had his own pride at stake but the reputations of all of them in his hands. He could probably live with messing up his own name but he would despise himself if he did anything that could hurt Super Junior in that way. They already got enough criticism for their musicality and he was also aware that their only redeeming factor, according to some of the observations, was the contribution of K.R. Y. He didn’t agree with that position, but it was the reality that they faced and he had to accept that.

It however could only add to his worries.

 If his skill was questioned or if he did anything that ruined the song, he would not only hurt his credibility but all of Super Junior as well. His mistake could potentially hurt everyone, hurt Ryeowook…hurt Kyuhyun. He refused to let anything he did negatively affect the others, especially Kyuhyun. He couldn’t live if he had hurt them in that way. They were too talented and worked too hard for him to hurt their reputations.

Of course the simple answer was to not mess up.

It was very simple and maybe that was what scared him so much. He was not afraid of the stage in anyway, seeing himself as a true performer but he had a habit to be careless and makes stupid mistakes in technique. Normally when he was with the others they would help him, but this time he was all by himself. He supposed that was his true fear. He was afraid that he would go out there by himself and ruined their name.

It had been a really long time since he had promoted as a solo singer. He always had Kyuhyun to his left and Ryeowook to his right or vice versa. They were his strength, the people that he could count on and share some of his burden, but when they were not with him he felt weak and afraid. He knew somewhere in the back of his mind that he was more than capable but it was hard to let that thought have any weight when he had so many issues playing on his mind. He really wanted to make them all proud, to do right by everyone and truly deserve his moniker. He knew he could do it but it was so worrying at the same time.

The nervousness and the fear were eating him whole and it was only made worse by the fact that he was all by his lonesome. The majority of his band mates were in Thailand and without them there to help him fight the demons, everything was so much harder. He hadn’t slept at all the night before and whilst the rehearsal was not a complete disaster, he was still worried. He had hummed the song a thousand times and had memorized the lyrics, terrified that he would forget it. This fear was only amplified when he realized he missed a line in the third verse during rehearsals and was mortified. He couldn’t afford to make that sort of mistake, especially when he was by himself. It was all so much that he felt like throwing up. His head hurt a little and he was nearly shivering in his nervousness. Why was it always so hard for him?

It was such a good opportunity and if he messed it up he deserved to be killed for it.

He threw himself backwards, falling against the soft pillows that failed to put him to sleep when the sky was covered in darkness and even then it was giving him no comfort, though the sheets were nice and warm, even if spring was on the horizon. He stared at the ceiling as he reached for his turtle plushie, wrapping his hand around the poor thing, squeezing it against his chest as he tried to get the thoughts to go way, slamming his eyes shut, trying to give himself a pep talk though it seemed to be failing him by the second, his stomach swirling in so many emotions and his heart uneasy, the feeling of tiredness wrapping around him as the frustration welled in him. He sighed, and then took a breath, his eyes opening to glance at the clock on his bedside table, only hours away from the performance, the song playing in his head like a broken record.

He really couldn’t afford to make a mistake. He had to do it all perfectly, especially with the fact that he was ending the show and it was a live performance, no pre recording so that he could fix any mistakes. His voice had to be perfect and he had to convey all the emotions and of course his singing at to be perfect and his control impeccable. It always had to be that way to be fair, but then even if it wasn’t he would have Kyuhyun or Ryeowook there to cover for him, to give him enough time to come back in line. This time he was left on the high wire with no safety net whatsoever. If he fell he would plummet to his death and take everyone with him.

The thought was enough to banish the tiredness, only leaving his fears and his worries, groaning as he turned over on to his mattress. He had no idea how they expected him to do this and he wanted to throw up suddenly. He sighed once more, feeling miserable. He only had so much time to sulk anyway, having to try and rehearse again later when he could. He just knew this was a disaster in the making. He hoped their fans did not kill him, especially after all the support that they had showed him already. He felt sick and nervous and as if all the lyrics were leaving his head at a rapid rate.

Arrgggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

So frustrated! He sighed again.

He would have attempted to smother himself in the pillow just then if his phone had not rang somewhere on his bed. He had it in his hands earlier but he had dropped on the mattress when he had started to consider if he could run away from home and get someone perfect to perform his song for him. It was completely ridiculous he knew, but his mind seemed to like to think about ridiculous things, and even suggest even more stupid things.

 Like he could actually perform the song without some epic fail. His mind was insane.

He however figured he should actually get his phone, now on its third ring, KRY’s Promise You blaring at him from about a feet away, crawling with his small fingers outstretched to get to it, wanting to ignore it and drown in his nervous misery but afraid that it could be Kangta with last minute instructions or warnings.  He had to get to it. He smiled when it was finally in his reach, dragging it to his ear without looking at the home screen, surprised instantly.

“You were sighing weren’t you,” a clipped reprimanding voice fiddled through, not even sparing him a hello nor letting him get a word in. His mind was foggy with his emotional distress, but he thinks he can make that voice out even if he were deaf and honestly, there was no one else that seemed to speak to him with such disregard and disrespect, actually reprimanding him. This brat!

“I was not!” Yesung objected, but it came out more like a whine, cringing when the sound got to his ears, but it was lost in the petulant face that he was already wearing, feeling like a child as he denied the accusation. He hated when he sighed for whatever reason and the fact that he knew he was sort of scary. He felt the need to defend himself even if he was not doing a very good job.

“Really?” Kyuhyun questioned, his voice making clear that he did not believe him for a second, sure in his mind that Yesung was doing that thing that he hated with a passion, wanting him to know that he did not believe his denial in the lease. He could feel him sighing really.

 Before he even made the call, sitting in the waiting room, waiting for his next interview, taking up a distant corner so he could make the call in some relative privacy, he sort of knew that Yesung would be  in a mood, confirmed by what he was hearing from Donghae and Siwon. He was waiting all morning to call him, having woken up comparatively late after a late night but he was sure Yesung would be in rehearsals and couldn’t be disturbed and thereafter he was busy. He was therefore exceedingly thankful to Ryeowook for switching the ordering of things for him at the studio so he could get some time before their lunch break to make the call. He just knew that Yesung would be fretting up a storm. He didn’t believe for a second that he was not in a tizzy and that meant that he naturally had to ensure that he was better. Before he even answered the phone, he just knew that he was sulking.

“Only a couple of times,” Yesung acknowledged begrudgingly, feeling small and stupid and tired and that bit of him happy that he was hearing Kyuhyun’s voice, pulling himself upwards so that he could lie properly on the pillows, hand holding the phone as if it were precious, a natural subconscious reaction, pouting slightly that he had been caught and now forced to defend himself, though decidedly unable to bring the same intensity, still feeling melancholy and scared out of his mind.

He would sigh, but Kyuhyun would probably yell at him, biting his lips to stop the sound from escaping, annoyed when all he achieves is an awkward breathe of air that makes him sound as if he is strangled and he feels even more annoyed and then embarrassed and sort of light when Kyuhyun chuckles low in his throat. He always thought it was a beautiful sound.

“What’s wrong Hyung?” Kyuhyun questioned gently when he was finished laughing at the idiot that he was in love with, back pressed against the arm chair, hidden behind the weak branch of a potted decorative tree, trying his hardest to forget the bustle around him as everyone tries to get themselves ready, one particular stylist shooting him interested looks as he cradled the phone in his hands like a lifeline, keeping his voice low, not just because he was worried about Yesung and trying to coax him into telling him his worries, but simply due to the fact that he was sure his conversation would seem rather awkward if  he was heard.

He supposed he was still being awkward, trying to hide in plain sight whilst wishing he was in a small room on the eleventh floor of a high rise building in Seoul, having that conversation wrapped in a warm embrace, with his nose buried in hair that smelt like berries and lost in a coffee scented daze. That was his ideal, but he refused to wallow. He would make the best of what he had.

“Nothing Kyu ah. Tell me about you. Are you tired? Have you eaten? Is it too hot?” Yesung questioned rapidly, trying to deflect the question, not wanting to burden the younger man with his worries, embarrassed about the fears that he carried in his heart and the knowledge that Kyuhyun would probably never had the worries that he had .

Kyuhyun was always so perfect and he rarely ever forgot lyrics. He honestly rather hear about Kyuhyun and his day. He was missing the brat already; two days of separation already and Kyuhyun wasn’t coming home until the following morning. He genuinely hoped he would be alright. He wondered if he was tired or hungry or if he was sleeping. He knew Donghae and Henry went to sleep late. He hoped Kyuhyun didn’t play games and slept. He honestly was a little regretful that he had not been taking care of Kyuhyun recently, being so worried about the performance. He hadn’t even checked up on him. He hoped he could make up for it.

“I’m fine Hyung. Now stop changing the topic and tell me what’s wrong,” Kyuhyun dismissed sternly, unwilling to let Yesung lead them down that path, especially when he did not know how much time he had for him and whilst he always appreciated the coddling, he did not want it to distract him.

 He had heard from Donghae earlier that Yesung was worried and seemed uneasy and he naturally had that feeling as well. It seemed he was worried about his performance as he normally was but without any of them there to sooth his nerves, Kyuhyun found that he was a little worried about him. Yesung's mind was a dangerous place, especially when it was allowed to roam free. It was a good opportunity for Yesung and he did not want him to feel burdened about it.

 He was the one that was forced to bite back a sigh, feeling frustrated that he was not there with him to cheer him up and hold his hand and make it better. Sometimes he really regretted the situations they found themselves in, the separation and longing eating at his insides, but he always concluded that he rather have flawed  and thread bare with Yesung than perfect and complete with someone else. Even if a phone call was all he could manage, he was grateful for it. He wished however that Yesung would guide him through his mind so that he could sooth it. He often thinks that is his purpose in life and an odd sort of fulfilment settles over him.

“What if I mess this up Kyu ah?” Yesung breathes out after what felt like a lifetime, the silence in the air awkward and oppressive, Kyuhyun staying quiet as if daring him to defy him, to ignore his honest inquiries into his wellbeing. He opened his mouth to utter some falsity or the other at least three times but the words refused to come, his insides betraying him, nothing seemingly wanting to lie to Kyuhyun.

He didn’t know why that was happening but it was becoming more frequent and that was scaring him. He was having a harder time determining where the lines were and an even harder time trying to keep his distance from Kyuhyun. He sometimes felt as if he were stripped , not literally of course, just that he was beginning to find it hard to keep the doors locked, that insistent hand pushing through the barriers despite his best efforts to keep Kyuhyun out. He didn’t want him to see the cracks and the scars, to see the ugliness that sometimes resided in his mind, his weak personality and his constant doubt. Kyuhyun was perfect.

Too perfect to be touched by his imperfections.

He wanted to lie to him, to assure him all was well, to hide the little monsters that roamed within his mind. He didn’t want Kyuhyun to be weighed down by his troubles too. Kyuhyun had it hard enough as it was. Kyuhyun hadn’t have a day off in months and his only free day he stupidly tried to play sports and Yesung can still fondly remember him ranting and raving about aching muscles and insisting that he must come over and kiss the pain away. He nearly choked on his coffee at how serious Kyuhyun was about it all, the younger whining that he was useless in the cutest way possible. It had been hard on Kyuhyun recently, and if he could do nothing to help him, he should atleast have the decency to not burden him with his troubles as well.

Yet he somehow found the words spilling from his lips; his consciousness appalled by the mutinous feelings he seemed to possess, the command to formulate a lie rejected quite plainly and instead he was pouring his soul out like a spineless frightened idiot, body twisting onto his side, legs naturally curling itself up into a ball, protecting himself from some imaginary threat, the phone held against his ear and the bed, waiting with baited breathe for the response, feeling small and scared and nervous and he hates himself for it. He truly wished he were more confident about it all, resisting the urge to sigh. He was however startled when all he heard in response was a low chuckle, Kyuhyun apparently very dismissive of his concerns.

“Hyung, is that why you are worried?” Kyuhyun asked through his soft chuckles, amused and frustrated at the same time. He supposed if he didn’t laugh at him he would have to strangle him, so was therefore prevailed upon to laugh at the idiot. How could he mess it up? He was perfect in Kyuhyun’s eyes and whilst he not always do everything perfectly, Kyuhyun always had the utmost faith in him as singer.

“Hyung, you are nearly as good as I am as a singer and I am perfect, so there is no way you won’t do well. Don’t worrying that pretty little head of yours over nothing,” Kyuhyun said dismissively, though the words were heavy with suggestion and more sincerity that he was willing to divulge.

When Yesung did not answer him at once he was a little worried that he had said the wrong thing, his laughter falling away, trying his best thereafter to seriously comfort the older man. He was never very good at these things mind you, but he would try. He truly thought Yesung was brilliant and had no reason to worry. He couldn’t even think about a possibility of the man not doing well. It seemed however that Yesung was not aware of that fact, so he endeavoured to tell him so. He knew however if he just told him, Yesung would ignore him, so he attempted to go about it as he always had, teasingly. He truly hoped that Yesung would understand his feeling in the matter. He was sorry he couldn’t be there with him but he truly had faith in him and his abilities. Yesung should not ever doubt that.

“What did I tell you about calling me pretty?” Yesung  grumbled, displeased that Kyuhyun was once more patronizing him. He seriously hated when he was called pretty and Kyuhyun did it all the time just to annoy him. He really could strangle the brat, pouting in annoyance, scowling when Kyuhyun laughed into the line.

“Don’t pout” Kyuhyun advised, just knowing that Yesung would be pouting at him even if he was not there. He supposed he shouldn’t be teasing him, but he really wasn’t sure what else to do in the matter. He knew calling him pretty would annoy him and he supposed that was why he did it, just to take his mind off other things.

“You’re a jerk and I was not pouting!” Yesung protested, displeased that Kyuhyun knew he was pouting but really more displeased that he had smiled at the instruction, Kyuhyun always the one that knew him best, even if he was a pain in the most of the time. He should have known that Kyuhyun would chose to , wanting to smack him for being annoying but grateful to hear his voice and have the moment with him, even if it was doing nothing to help his nervousness.

“Hyung…seriously…you don’t have to be nervous. You are a great singer and you have done this countless times before. Kangta hyung chose you, over me….still mad about that by the way…what was I saying again?” Kyuhyun spoke seriously, noting that his teasing was not having the intending effect especially when Yesung still seemed to still be caught in his listlessness.

He wasn’t very good with actual words of comfort and normally tried to avoid things like that, but maybe it was something that Yesung needed to hear and he needed to say it. He meant every word of it, until he got distracted with his distaste for the fact that he was overlooked for the song, even if he knew it suited Yesung perfectly, his train of thought distorted.

“Kyu ah- “Yesung tried to speak, chuckling softly, amused and sort of happy. Kyuhyun’s words meant a lot to him, as did everything connected to Kyuhyun.

 He truly valued Kyuhyun’s opinion and whilst the maknae was not saying anything he had not heard a million times before, it seems so much more plausible when Kyuhyun said it. Kyuhyun was truly sincere; he could hear it in his voice. He had his doubt but it was easier to trust Kyuhyun’s words. He knew that Kyuhyun would be a little biased but even then it was nice to see the trust that Kyuhyun had in him. He was surprised when this one didn’t feel like a burden though, it was sort of uplifting and as if it came to give him strength. He wasn’t drowning in Kyuhyun’s trust, but sort of motivated by it. He wanted to make Kyuhyun happy and proud, thrilled in the knowledge that Kyuhyun truly had faith in him.

He would tell him as such, but the brat got lost in his grumblings about who was selected, something that didn’t annoy Yesung, considering he still complained that he should have been the one that sang ‘seven years of love’. They were a little bit competitive, which didn’t actually hurt them much but pushed them to do better. Before he could draw his attention back to him, Kyuhyun had resumed speaking, interrupting him in the process.

“Right! Kangta hyung chose you because he knew you would do it well, just like the rest of us. You know you can do this as well, so there is no need to be nervous. Stop worrying over nothing Hyung,” Kyuhyun ended with his word of advice, feeling his face a little warm from the shyness he felt from speaking seriously, something that they really did.

He didn’t normally enjoy having to be so honest, but he would do it for Yesung, hoping that the man trusted him enough to accept his words and to trust him when he said he would do well. He had no doubt whatsoever of that fact. He just hoped Yesung could get rid of his doubt.

“I hope you are right Kyuhyunnie,” Yesung rejoined, swallowing Kyuhyun’s words and feeling a little better but the nagging worry still resided in him, the fear that he would make a mess of things, especially with the limited time he had for practice. He was grateful for the encouragement though, the mountain that blocked the light was now simply little patches of fear and endless nervousness. The crippling dread was easing significantly and he was thankful for that, truly thankful, hoping that Kyuhyun’s pronouncement of his success would come to light.

“What do you mean, you hope? I am always right. How can you not know that by now? You really are an idiot, Hyung” Kyuhyun spoke with mock seriousness or atleast he tried to, a small chuckle leaving his mouth, pleased that he could go back to teasing his idiot beloved, who still failed to realize that he was always right. He didn’t know when he would see the light, but he hoped it would be soon, internally wishing that his words would be true as well, praying to the heavens to give Yesung the strength and the courage that he would need, wishing that it all truly went well, hoping that the nervousness would pass and he would do what Kyuhyun knew he was more than capable of doing; stealing hearts.

“I see no damage has been done to your ego. Still unnaturally massive,” Yesung scoffed, though he couldn’t help the smile that grazed his lips, his curled position not used to protect him anymore but to help him manage those little flutters he always felt when he spoke to Kyuhyun, the happiness and the lightness of Kyuhyun’s teasing tracing down his spine, feeling that pooling of happiness in his stomach, amused and drowning in the affection the egotistical brat always invoked, pleased in the knowledge that Kyuhyun truly wished to make him feel better and was trying his hardest to achieve it.

He loved him for it, he truly did.

“A necessary consequence of greatness I’m afraid. You are lucky you don’t have to worry about things like that,” Kyuhyun rejoined in delighted glee, smirking in teasing brilliance, his laughter mocking and amused, the stylist looking at him weirdly, Kyuhyun trying to fix his face but it was so hard to not laugh at Yesung grumbling on the other side of the line, happy to be back to teasing the man he loved, though he did think Yesung commanded his own fair share of greatness, seeing Yesung's teasing previously as a good sign.

“Whatever, you mean demon,” Yesung grumbled, childishly sticking his tongue out even though he knew that Kyuhyun couldn’t see him, but the younger’s amused laughter made it seem as he could see him, but he supposed it would be the same way he just knew when Kyuhyun was smirking at him and still had the urge to wring his ear when he couldn’t see Kyuhyun either. The child was a brat but he loved him, feeling sort of satisfied all of a sudden, the effect of Kyuhyun’s little teasing working wonders to cool his insides, smiling as Kyuhyun just continued to laugh.

“You are gonna okay ....right?” Kyuhyun asked, rather than stated, the amusement leaving his voice in favour of ensuring that Yesung's mental health was alright. He didn’t think the nervousness would leave him; it never leaves any of them. He just wanted to ensure that the dread he detected when Yesung first started to speak was gone. He didn’t want him causing himself an ulcer and hurting himself. He didn’t want Yesung to make himself sick over it and then have it hurt his performance. He just needed to make sure the older man felt a little more confident about it and himself.

“I will probably forget all the lyrics, but I think so," Yesung assured with a smile, the doubt and the nervousness bubbling inside of him, but he really did think it would be okay now, especially with Kyuhyun’s encouragement. He had to be not just from his sake but Kyuhyun’s as well. Kyuhyun seemed worried about him and that was something that he hated. He didn’t want Kyuhyun to worry about him, so was even more motivated to ensure things go well. He had to do it now, otherwise Kyuhyun would be upset. He would make Kyuhyun proud or atleast try his best.

“You always forget the lyrics. You can just write it on your hands, though I am not sure if that would work. Your hands are already so freakishly small you might not be able to read it,” Kyuhyun pointed out, titling his head as he seriously about the logistics of it, originally meant to be a teasing comment but the more he thought about it all the more curious he became, wondering if Yesung could do it properly and more importantly how would he read it? Was his eye sight that good? It was truly something to consider, though apparently Yesung didn’t think it was anything of substance, interrupting Kyuhyun’s thoughts on the matter.

“Seriously….why do I put up with a demon like you anyway? And stop making fun of my hands especially since you are always holding on to them,” Yesung  asked with a teasing glint and mischief in his voice, laughing a little that he finally got a word in edgewise. Kyuhyun was most certainly not the only one that knew how to tease and whilst he was a little shy about it all, it was something that they both knew was true. Kyuhyun loved to hold his hand [not that he didn’t like holding Kyuhyun’s hand] and it was something that they both knew, especially after that little dispute that they had and he refused to let Kyuhyun hold his hand and that was really hard for him. Maybe he shouldn’t tease but Kyuhyun was such a brat that it was hard not to.

“I hold them because if I don’t you will bite your nails or get lost or something equally stupid. You should be thanking me really,” Kyuhyun rejoined, initially coughing from the surprise, but unwilling to lose out on their little bout of playful teasing. Yesung was adorable with it though and quite sly, Kyuhyun grinning at the exchange, silently proud that the other was playing with him.

“If it’s so hard for you then you can stop,” Yesung proposed though he was not serious in the least, positive that he would miss Kyuhyun’s warm hand in his, voice however coming out sleepy as he stifled a yawn, the tiredness burning the back of his eyes, wanting to talk to Kyuhyun though, sleep previously escaping him.

“You should sleep Hyung. You will have eye bags if you don’t,” Kyuhyun ceased his teasing to instruct, sitting up on the couch straighter, instantly more alert when he heard the sound of the stifled yawn, still aware that Yesung probably didn’t sleep much, his insomnia back, as to be to be expected but Kyuhyun didn’t want to fight with him, made worst by his nervousness.

“Can’t sleep. I haven’t rehearsed enough and I am still too nervous,” Yesung informed even though he could feel the tug behind his eyes, his body feeling sort of weak now that he allowed himself to feel anything other than dread, curled up on the comfortable mattress, his head filled with Kyuhyun’s smooth voice, heart in a slow steady contented beat, his stomach feeling the flutters.

“Sleep for a little while and then you can go rehearse,” Kyuhyun coaxed, aware that he really was not one to talk but Yesung always took care of him and it was his duty to the do the same for the older man. He would do anything to make Kyuhyun do well; to sooth his worries and ease his heart and even more to keep him healthy.

Even if Kyuhyun was a brat and didn’t listen to him, he always appreciated the tenderness and care he was shown and saw it as his responsibility to ensure that Yesung was taken care off. Admittedly he didn’t always do a good job, but now Yesung needed him and he would be there for him as best as he could. If sleep was what Yesung needed, then he would ensure that he got it.

“Kyuhy-“

“Don’t be stubborn Hyung. Just sleep for a little while and then you can practice some more…….I’ll help you,” Kyuhyun proposed, his voice gentle and soft when he made the suggestion, very much different from the hard edge it had to it when he was insisting that it be done differently, wanting Yesung to sleep at least a little bit, interrupting him before he could make excuses, ensuring that Yesung knew he was not letting him get away with that one. He was dead serious.

He didn’t wait for Yesung to acknowledge the instruction, calling out his instructions softly, first telling him to get comfortable and to take off his heavy clothes if he wanted, Yesung grumbling that he was not a baby and he didn’t want to sleep, Kyuhyun making it quite clear that he couldn’t care and that he would know if Yesung didn’t listen to him. In reality he had no idea of knowing that and he supposed Yesung knew that as well. He figured Yesung was genuinely tired and he could get him to sleep easier. The older man was just making a show of it and he was playing along, restraining himself from reminding Yesung that he was not a child either and yet he still treated him like one. He figured that was better left unsaid. When he figured enough time had passed and the rustling of clothes and grumbles about him being annoying had subsided it, he requested that Yesung get back into bed, assuming that it was complied with, asking if he was comfortable, Yesung mumbling that he was, Kyuhyun cooing at him in a non cheesy way he swears.

“Sleep now and I will try and call you later. Don’t worry about it too much I am sure you will be great,” Kyuhyun pronounced softly, just wanting to give last minute reassurances before Yesung fell asleep, hoping that he would get a chance to call him again before his performance even if it was just for a minute, trying to work their schedule out in his head, thinking that he must get a few minutes off somewhere in the middle to call him again, promising that he would internally.

“I hope so too,” Yesung mumbled once more sleepily, curled up on his big bed, instantly feeling the emptiness of it but that was his choice so he keeps that to himself, subconsciously taking the side of the bed that he normally preferred when he slept with Kyuhyun. Even if they ended up wrapped up with each other in some crazy formations, he still had his preferred side, as did Kyuhyun, something that stayed with him even though Kyuhyun was not there with him.

Maybe in his mind he was always there and that was why the space couldn’t be touched when he slept. He tried not to think about it much as he curled up around his plushie that was a poor substitute for a soft warm apple scented body but it would have to make do, only made easier by the fact that Kyuhyun’s voice was soft in his ear even if the phone was heavy in his hand, aware that they had not been talking very long, fifteen minutes maximum.

“Go to sleep now, I will talk to you later,” Kyuhyun spoke softly, easing the older man into sleep, something that Yesung had done for him a million times, humming softly.

He was intent on ignoring the questioning glances that he was being sent by the stylist, Ryeowook smirking at him from across the room, which he just rolled his eyes at , listening instead to Yesung's cute insistence that he didn’t need Kyuhyun to help him sleep, Kyuhyun just waiting for his drowsiness to finally claim him, hushing him with a hiss, Yesung mumbling something about him being a brat, but was asleep before Kyuhyun could get to the second verse of Super Junior’s M Destiny, the song he had chosen to hum, the soft breathing being the only indication that he had fallen asleep, Kyuhyun holding the line for one minute just to ensure that  he was actually asleep, or maybe he was just a creep and like the sound of his soft breathing, but he did eventually hang up. His first order of business was to send a text message to Kangin to check in on Yesung and ensure that he did not freak out later and if he did call him immediately, aware that Kyuhyun would tease the hell out of him but some things were just more important. With that settled he could finally breathe.

♥규 성♥

He was fortunate that he did get to make that call, cutting it close, only an hour before the stage, Yesung apparently already on standby, probably biting his nails more than anything, the older man franticly worrying about lyrics and sounding weird and not knowing were the song breaks were and rambling a mile a minute about everything that could possibly go wrong, even admitting that he would rather Kyuhyun be there with him, causing both happiness and sadness instantly to well up in Kyuhyun’s chest, Kyuhyun only chuckling through most of it, only stopping when Yesung asked him if he only called to tease. The older man sadly mistaking his indulgence as him patronizing him and in his panicked haze reacted the wrong was. Kyuhyun therefore was forced to make amends.

He then kindly informed that he called to wish him luck and gloat that he was right about him needing to sleep just a little and to remind him that if he panicked too much he would look weird on broadcast. Yesung actually laughed for a second, supposing that Kyuhyun was right on that point, sure his face would look weird if he continued the way he did, Kyuhyun advising about the possible lines his face could have, amusing Yesung for some reason.

Kyuhyun thereafter listened as he mentioned the cute fan banners that he saw and all the support he seemed to get, Kyuhyun sensing both the gratitude and burden in his voice, trying to reassure that their fans would love it anyway and to just do his best when he performed. Yesung was always a little hard to convince on that point but Kyuhyun tried his best to get the point across to him, Yesung not arguing with him but Kyuhyun got the feeling he did not believe him. It as moments like those that always made him wish to be by his side.

Before Kyuhyun could talk more however, he was discovered by Donghae who insisted that he must speak to Yesung, Kyuhyun losing out to all of them, who had small encouraging messages, Kyuhyun left with only enough time to promise to call him when he could and to wish him well.

It was all he could do and he was sorry for that, but he thought he made it for it when he embarrassed himself with his nearly fanboy cheering as he streamed Inkigayo, the others amused and in glee, Kyuhyun thankfully resisting the urge to gush about how awesome his beloved was, though that strangled squeal would be hard to live down. His only consolation was the fact that Donghae reacted worse than he did and he had at no time giggled.

Still! He was sure that the stylist definitely thought he was insane.

♥규 성♥

Author's Note:-

I finished this since Sunday but was too busy to publish it. Baby Cloud was spectacular by the way and I am sure Kyuhyun found a way to give him support….though Yewon/Yehae/Yewook/2woon….were all super sweet ♥

The Continuum’s One Year anniversary is on February 26^th. I have decided that I will commemorate it with the posting of my 84K – ‘The Emergence of Fears’….the first chapter will be posted then and everyday one/two chapters will be posted until it is finished. Your enthusiasm will decide in the end.

Yesung- Gray Paper