the school bell rang. finally, you thought. you walked out your classroom and onto the hallway, passing all the lovey dovey couples you see. the hallway was decorated with hearts of all sizes and the image of cupid. of course, it was the day you'd been anticipating. it was valentine's day. all day you summed up all your courage to give the chocolate you made to your one and only crush, minhyuk. but as expected as being the heartthrob of your high school, many girls swarmed all over him, all day long. You didn't joined in the group of girls pushing each other to get to him. you thought they were desperate but now you're the one who's desperate. the sweat and sleep you sacrificed last night would all go to waste if you didn't give it to him. holding on tighter to it, you walked faster, searching for any sign of him. as you were tiptoeing to see, someone pushed you and you fell to the ground, squishing the box of chocolate you made with your whole heart. you looked at your hands smudged with the chocolate. at that moment you want to cry. all around you, people were just passing by, not caring about you. why is this day so hard? you blamed yourself for being so desperate. you picked yourself up and the last of your chocolate box and went outside the back of your school. you sat at the stairs and buried your face in your arms. i am such a babo. oh the things i do for love. but you asked yourself if this was truly love and the image of your childhood best friend flashed in your mind. you shook your head to get that attractive image out of your head. as far as you can remember, you two have been together since the beginning of time. you have always thought of him as a brother and nothing more, but since you entered high school that thought changed into something you'd never imagine. you denied your feelings for him and that's when you met minhyuk. though not actually met because you have always seen him from afar. the sight of him makes your heart beat a million times faster. this past few weeks, he seem to caught you staring at him each time you do. Your other girl best friend has been saying that he has a crush on you. your heartbeat raced as you remembered her saying this. you stare off into space thinking, as if he'd like me. but i hope so. ugh, what am i thinking. But you weren't thinking of minhyuk, you were after all this time thinking of sungjae.

someone grabbed your arm. "there you are! i've been looking for you. come on, you're gonna be so happy when you see this. hurry!" your girl best friend dragged you back to the hallway and through the front of your school. the students were busy piling up the bus. she was still dragging you down the stairs when you stopped short in your tracks. the bus moved forward, revealing 21 boys, each holding a paper with a letter saying, will you be my valentine? some of them you recognize where friends of minhyuk. at first you panicked because you thought you ran into someone else's confession but you looked around and everybody was staring at you. your girl best friend was at the side pumping her fist, mouthing, fighting!

you looked back in front and the group of boys splitted into two. minhyuk emerged in between. you bit your lip thinking if this was a dream, you'd never want to wake up. And just to be sure you weren't dreaming, you pinch your left arm. you dug your fingers in your arm and sure enough it hurt. you got that dreamy gaze in your eyes.

"when i first saw you in the hallway, i knew you were the best thing about this school. your pretty face never left my mind since then. each day i go to school with the thought of seeing you. i-uh know im a coward for not knowing you back then, but now i  can't let this chance pass." minhyuk was across the street, shouting with all his might.

the next words you are about to hear will unknowingly change your life forever, the sweetest words mankind will ever hear.

"of all the other girls here, you were the one who stole my heart at first glance."

with that said, he walked towards you, only looking straight at you. he knelt before you, looking with those beautiful eyes. you were frozen at your place. with all the love stories you read and watch, you felt cliche about that moment but it was something more magical than the movies. 

"uh, so will you be my, you know." he raised a bouquet of roses shaped into a heart. he was smiling at you shyly. you have never seen this side of his.

you took it and put on a serious face.

"roses are my least favorite flowers though." you raised your eyebrows at him. "but, yes! i do!"

you slowly smiled. he laughed as he grabbed the bouquet and throw it away. he hugged you and twirled you around. you blinked fast many times, the happenings around you haven't truly sink in yet but you knew you were happy. 

Sungjae run out of the hallway to find you. he frantically searched for you, hoping that his plan would turn out right. he finally spotted you running off to the back of the school. he walked towards you, pushing and squeezing in the crowd. aish, of all the days for this hallway to be crowded, why now? sungjae finally reached the doors. he was about to open it when another hand quickly pushed it. he noticed that it was your girl best friend. he slightly opened the door to see what was happening. he quickly flattened himself on the wall as you and your best friend opened the door and run past him. both of you didn't notice him. he opened the doors cautiously and saw the box of chocolate. he crouched in front of it and smirked as he grabbed it. he opened it and tasted it. he was suprisingly enjoying it. a note fell out of the box. he swallowed the chocolate you made before picking the paper and reading it. the sweetness of the chocolate turned bitter in his mouth. tears were forming in his eyes. he crumpled the paper and kicked the walls. he rested his arms on the wall and sniffed. he had never been this angry. he was angry at you, at everything and most of all himself. he punched the wall with all his might, releasing the anger inside of him. his right arm fell limped on his side. this was the very first time he'd cried off guard since his parents died. it was all because of you. he blamed himself for being so stupid and a coward. and now he lost you.

to confirm it, he saw you hugging minhyuk at the front of the school with everybody cheering for the both of you. sungjae had been planning all week to tell you that he urgently needs to leave because his grandma is nearly dying and his younger brother needs him there, and today was the day he was supposed to leave. But before he leaves he wants to confess everything to you. he might be gone for good. he don't want anything left unsaid. that morning he was late for preparing the surprise for you, he even went home for lunch just to finish it. but with the truth in front of his eyes, all his hopes was crushed. he gave up on himself, reading what you have written on the note.

"i like you minhyuk-ah. ♡"

Minhyuk was walking you home. your hands was intertwined with his. you have longed for his soft, warm hands and now you couldn't have ask for more. you arrived at your empty house. your parents travelled a lot, leaving you all by yourself most of the times. minhyuk held both of your hands while you both stood in front of the door. he thanked you. all you could do was get lose in his eyes. he kissed your cheek before leaving you flabbergasted. you enter your house in a daze. you were the luckiest girl on earth right now. you just can't percieve that what happened was true. your house strangely smelled like your favorite flower. you ignore that and opened the door to your room. when you opened the lights you thought it was another surprise from minhyuk. your room was full of balloons. the floor was packed with it and the ceiling was also filled with it. there were small papers hanging on the string of the floating balloons. but when you read it, you suddenly knew it wasn't done by minhyuk. in the papers written were: you were my first friend. you were my first hug. you were with me when i first ran in the rain. you stole my first lollipop. you were my first enemy. you were my first doctor when i scraped my knee. you were my first childhood crush. you were the first beautiful girl i've ever seen (not like there's a second)

You chuckled as you read a lot more. you kicked the balloons as you made your way to your bed. your eyes widened when you saw what was on it. in the middle of your bed, daisies were arranged in a heart shape, in the middle of it was a letter. you quickly snatched it and as you started reading it, you can't help the tears welling up in your eyes.

"perhaps you already know that i was going to leave. and perhaps by now you know that i love you so much that it is unbearable to be apart from you. saranghaeyo~ do you feel the same way too? if yes, i will come back no matter what..."

you read it again and again and each time you do, your heart weighs heavier. a thousand emotions swirled inside of you. But you know for sure that confusion wasn't one of them 'cause you exactly know who wrote it. It all became clear to you. it was now clear that minhyuk was a mere crush. it was like a bucket of cold water was splashed to your face, awakening you. the walls you build around your feelings for sungjae crumbled down.  you hate yourself for ignoring it until now.

im too late. you can't help your heart from aching. your heart was exploding with anger and regrets. the image of sungjae disappearing in the crowd while minhyuk twirled you around flashed before your mind. you read the last few words...

"if yes, i will come back no matter what..."

that was enough for you to contain your courage, brush away the fresh tears and run out of your house. you've never run faster in your whole life. 1st block. 2nd block. all the while thinking of sungjae, only him. instantly you forgot everything about minhyuk.  turning left, you finally reached the apartment sungjae was staying at. the lights were off, even the front porch wasn't litted. you leaned on the door, gasping for your breath and trying to convince yourself that it wasn't too late, that you weren't too late. tears started running down your cheeks again. you pounded your fist on the door and shouted his name but deep inside you know it's over. you noticed a piece of paper stuck on the side of the door. with your instincts, you pulled it out and walked under the lamp post just across the street. you stood there, silently sobbing as you read your name written on the paper. you feel his handwriting before opening it.

"if you ever come looking for me, then i appreciate it. though i guess it will take some time before you do, 'cause you'll be spending more time with your new lover. but if you ever do, i want you to know that i can never thank you enough for the smiles you brought into my life and practically everything you've done for me each and every day that God made. i know this is cheesy, but this is what i feel..." it made you laugh even though you were full of tears.

"i know there's still a million words left unsaid, but i just want to say that i've loved you ever since we were young and everyday i've fallen in love with you more and more. it's strange how i didn't notice how deep i've fallen already. im sorry for being afraid. i want you to be happy and nothing less. thank you for being my first everything. i will never forget you." you bit your lip, holding back the tears but you simply can't. the thought of him never coming back hit you. the saddest part was that the last moment you ever saw of him, his eyes were nothing but despair.

"you were my first love and the first love i lost."