On Impluse

The feeling was back again.  The urge was scratching and screaming in mind, telling me to just do it. I had to kiss him.

These urges weren’t new, but I still found my body running towards the man I happened to glance at while walking to my favorite café for some lunch. What was peculiar, though, was he was running towards me too.

Meeting in the middle, my hands automatically went straight to his waist, while his went to cup my face. My nagging urge was satisfied when we both leaned forward at the same time. My eyes fluttered close, as did his, and our lips finally connected.

As soon as our lips touched, I felt a warmth spreading from my lips all the way down to the tips of my toes.  I had never felt this way before in the twenty years of my life. My thoughts started running wild. My brain was filled with sugared thoughts: how soft these stranger’s lips were, how sweet he tasted, how I never wanted this perfect moment to end.

But once I start thinking too much, another painful urge slips into my mind.

I had the urge to really kiss him. Not just the simple sweet, closed-mouth pecks, but the passionate open-mouthed kisses that would light my every nerve on fire and take my breath away. I wanted to taste every inch of his mouth, and once I got an urge, I had to act on it.

Just as I was about to let my tongue sliver to his lips, asking for entrance, he shifted slightly. Either he was some sort of telepathic or something because I felt his own lips open. His teeth softly nibbled on my bottom lip asking for his own entrance. I was more than happy to grant him access.

Another urge was satisfied as I impatiently my tongue into his delicious mouth. I explored his mouth thoroughly, never staying in one place too long. Apparently not one to be outdone, the stranger boldly responded. His tongue darted forward and intertwined with mine, wrestling for control. For what seemed like hours, our mouths fought for dominance, both switching periodically from twirling tongues around to nibbling on lips. I was lost in this wonderful sensation, but was brought back to reality by burning lungs thirsty for oxygen. Gasping for air, we both parted.

I slowly opened my eyes again, to look at the man I had just kissed. I saw a view of the very attractive man that grabbed my attention from the moment I laid my eyes on him. Charming single-lidded eyes were hooded, his face was flushed and his lips red and swollen from our most recent activities. While taking in this man’s handsome features, I suddenly I realized what I had just done.

“I’M SO SORRY!” both of our voices rang at the exact same time. Panic was stricken all over the stranger’s face, just as I am sure mine was too.

“I’m so so so extremely sorry! Please forgive me! I didn’t mean to kiss you! It’s because…” I didn’t finish my sentence. How could I explain to a normal person my disorder? That every few thoughts that come into my mind, there was one I had to compulsively act upon, no matter what the thought was.

“No! It was totally my fault! It’s just the moment I saw you I had…” He also started, but also couldn’t finish. A strange look swept across his face, he was holding something back too.

Though strange my disorder was and how difficult it was for others to understand it, I felt this stranger needed an explanation.  I opened my mouth to speak:

“I HAD THIS URGE TO JUST KISS YOU!” again our voices rang out at the exact same time. As soon as our lips fell silent, the compulsion was back.

I automatically moved forward, while the man took in a short breath and closed his eyes again. This time the man’s hands clung to the front of my shirt pulling me towards him, while mine went to the back of his neck, angling his head before diving in. This kiss was short and simple. Our lips perfectly molding together, reminding me of the other’s addicting taste. I sighed into the kiss, savoring each lingering moment.

But reality hit me again. I quickly separated our lips and practically shoved the poor guy four feet away. How was I going to explain this?

“AGAIN! I’M SORRY!” both of us yelled, “Let me explain!”

Okay, this was getting a little weird. I had to hurry up and explain my behavior to this stranger, then leave before I have another desire to capture those lips again. But before I could open my mouth, the handsome man spilled his explanation first.

“Okay, this is a little hard to explain, but please hear me out?” he asked pleadingly. I could only nod as I tried to keep more thoughts running through my mind. Luckily, another urge hasn’t come yet.

“Alright. Well, I didn’t mean to kiss you. Please don’t think me weird after I tell you this, but…” Again he trailed off, biting his swollen bottom lip and tilting his head down to stare at his feet. He began again, whispering, “I have this disorder where sometimes I have this incredible impulse to act on a thought. When I saw you walking, I thought ‘I need to kiss him’. So I just did. I couldn’t stop myself.”

I couldn’t believe it. I actually found another person who knew what I was going through. This time I didn’t even try to keep my thoughts from flowing. Low and behold, the exact same impulse was back.

I closed the distance between us and once again our lips connected. The kiss was sweetly slow, but full of wonder and surprise. I moved my lips against his, silently telling him that I understood every word he said and more.

I pulled back, hoping he would understand my actions. And I knew he would, after I told him that I had that same disorder.

“I couldn’t help myself either, because I have Impulse Control Disorder, too. I hope you will understand.” I then smiled at him, waiting for him to respond.

His eyes widened with a look of surprise, his jaw hanging open. After collecting his thoughts, he said, “Of course I forgive you. But you really have ICD, too? What is your name, if I may ask?”

“Yes, I really have ICD. My name is Lee Donghae. And yours?”

“Lee Hyukjae.”

“Well, Hyukjae. Would you mind joining me for lunch? I have this strong urge to get to know you better.”

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AN: Well this was going to be a one-shot, but it is going to be split into parts because I am too impatient to write the whole thing and then post it all in one go! Please comment! This is my first story I am sharing to the public and I want feedback to what everyone thinks.

Thanks for reading!

taicho321