Spring break was closer and with it also the midterms, studying wasn’t something he was used to, but he had to get at least decent grades this time, because he was getting older and being a failure couldn’t be justified anymore by his young age. His parents wanted him to stop fooling around or they would have made him stop dancing, but dancing was his life, how could he think to stop? No way.

“Yah, Eun are you zoning out again?” a voice coming from his side shook him, bringing him back to reality. He turned around and looked surprised at the guy sat near him on the bed.

“Sorry Hae, I was just thinking I need to get things straight this time...let’s study hard ok?” he grinned, his famous gummies showing off.

Donghae frowned and sighed “ is what I’m trying to do, but  while I was reading you started to look at the wall instead of listening to me” he pouted. He looked always so cute while doing it, like a little puppy. He didn’t know why, but his friend always looked cute no matter what he was doing, his mad face was the best probably.

“I’m sorry...let’s start again then...I promise I’ll listen to you now” he said scooting over to be closer to him; the book was placed between them and Donghae started to repeat what he was saying before, just to let him catch up with the last paragraph.

Hyukjae closed his eyes a bit trying to memorize all of it, when Donghae said something he remembered well form the lesson he opened his eyes and put his hand on the book to point that part “ah I remember this! Is here at page 25” he said smiling and bending over his friend. He didn’t realize immediately that doing this he ended up putting his hand on Donghae’s on the book; he felt something warm instead of the fresh paper, he looked down and saw he was practically holding his hand. It felt strange, he looked up shyly and saw that his friend was blushing, his heart skipped a beat, he was extremely close to his face, and he was about to fall on him. He gulped soundly and blushed as well, he didn’t know why but his heart started to beat faster at every second he spent analyzing that manly face in front of him. His neck was so hot, with his adam apple so prominent it was impossible not to think of dirty things, especially when he was gulping evidently; his chin was so smooth and well shaped, his lips where so fleshy and pink , plus their shape was like perfection, not like his, he had a weird mouth and weird  small teeth and huge horrible gummies; that nose so sharp and proportioned, and finally those eyes; they were shining and almost close because of his embarrassment, his well rounded cheeks were so red and puffy, he only wanted to kiss them, to kiss every part of that face. Donghae gulped again and started to pull apart, trying to escape his sharp eyes, but he just couldn’t help but follow him in his move. His friend started to close his eyes while his lips started to quiver a bit in anticipation; his heart was beating so fast and so hard he could hear it only, he was sure it was audible even from outside, because it was bouncing in his tiny chest. He closed his eyes and squeezed Donghae’s hand while getting closer to him, to his lips; the book fell down on the floor making a weird sound, but he didn’t care, he just wanted those lips on his, feeling his scent invade his lungs.

Just when they were few inches apart they heard a knock on the door “ Yah! Hyukjae are you in there?” they booth froze and opened their eyes wide, embarrassment wasn’t even the right word to describe what they were feeling anymore. Donghae stood up immediately sending him down, his face on the bed; he was lucky enough he didn’t get to bang his head on the wooden foot of his bed. He managed to stand up just to see his friend grabbing all his stuff quickly and rushing over the bathroom to reach his room, luckily they had communicant rooms and shared the bathroom.  He walked fast to the door, stomping on so many things and sending lots of books that were on the desk on the floor, he gasped when one of them hit his foot and once he was able to walk, or at least jump, again towards the door he saw himself in the mirror. Damn, my cheeks are so red, I need to do something. He took off his shirt and used it to fan his face, to cool it a bit. He ended up wearing only is wife beater but it was something, at least he wasn’t .

He opened the door and almost fell on the guy outside because of the extreme enthusiasm he put in his actions. He grinned happily without even realizing it “ Su...Sungmin why are you here?” he didn’t expect to see him. Out of all the people that used to knock on his door, his old friend was the last one he could imagine to see. It was a nice feeling tho.

Sungmin stepped backwards to avoid his face before speaking “ Were you busy...whit someone?” he felt heat going up to his cheeks again; why was Sungmin asking something like that? It was so embarrassing, especially thinking  about what was happening few minutes before. He wasn’t even sure why, nor what was happening. He shook his head forcefully denying that he was with someone.

“ No...I was just...reading” he muttered , it wasn’t a lie, it was half the truth “ so, what do you want?” he was genuinely curious, so he didn’t want to sound harsh asking it. But Sungmin seemed to feel awkward, he looked like he wasn’t sure why he was there.

“Mmh, no never mind” he said quickly looking at his feet and shaking his head  “ I came here for no reason, continue with what you were doing” he was starting to walk away when the dancer blocked him, he did it without thinking, he didn’t know why but Sungmin looked stressed somehow and even if he really wanted to go back inside and continue where he was interrupted...he simply couldn’t do. He bit his lower lip and grabbed the other’s arm firmly.

“ Don’t go, is something bothering you Min?” he asked smiling softly at his friend, if he could still call him like that. He knew their friendship died already years before, he knew it the moment Sungmin stepped in that school, he was so excited to have is old friend there, but soon they stopped having fun together, he started to be cold with him, only talking once in a while, and he started having  a different guy around every day. He knew something was broken inside him but he acted like everything was still ok. He was lucky he had Donghae with him.

“ I’m not feeling good...I want to go out drinking...I was thinking of going with you” Sungmin replied, he was looking normal, like he wasn’t bothered by anything, but seeing his eyes was enough for him to understand it wasn’t true; it was clear his friend was feeling down, the reason could be whatever, but if he needed some support, and if he was asking him after so much time, he was there to give him some.

“ Let’s go!” the dancer answered immediately, he didn’t have to think more, smiling widely all his gummies exposed he added “ give me like 5 minutes to put real clothes on “ he flew back inside his room closing the door behind him. He looked at the mess on the floor, but he had no time to clean it, he run towards the wardrobe, banging again on the desk. , I nearly emasculated myself this time, he held his hip while pulling his pants down, still walking. And he was surprised why he was always tripping on things.

He grabbed a pair of clean jeans and a leather jacket to put over his black wife beater. He looked fine, a pair of sneakers were good with that outfit and it was a perfect match for alcohol drinking, shoes for walking faster and being comfortable, fake leather that can be easily washed with a wet cloth in case of “incidents”, and a random pair of jeans that were always good enough.

He came out of the room as fast as he could, of course tripping on his shirt that was still on the floor and banging with both hands on the door before opening it, almost flying on Sungmin once again.

He looked at him, trying to act sorry for his clumsiness but he knew him already, he knew he had always been a bit weird.

They walked in the hallway, hands in their pockets, not being able to say anything, they weren’t really used to each other  anymore so it felt strange, but surprisingly it felt good too. Only the two of them going out, it was so much he didn’t spend time only with him, especially  like this, like really going out together and not meeting by chance.

~

They choose a close bar, a place where they could ask for alcohol because the owner was known for choosing randomly who to give alcohol to, and he seemed to like Sungmin, Hyukjae didn’t know why, but he wasn’t really interested in understanding it. They greeted the man in the club and sat down on a table for two, ordering something to drink.

The ordered just few bottles of soju, and he had to remind his friend that he didn’t like to drink too much, so that it was pointless to order too many; they sat there for a bit and drank in silence, till he decided to break the silence “ How are you lately?” he asked suddenly, making Sungmin turn to look at him, surprise in his eyes.

“ I’m just fine...” he muttered drinking another glass. He wasn’t satisfied by that answer, they were there, alone, no one could see them, it was pointless hiding it.

“ But you said you weren’t feeling good...” he said, trying to make him talk a bit.

“ It’s just...something is bothering me” he answered being vague once more, Hyukjae felt a weird sound inside him, it was the sound of a shattering glass , another part of him was broken, probably the last part of their friendship was gone. He felt like crying, but even doing it seemed hard since he felt dry inside.

“I miss you Sungmin, I miss us “ he simply said, smiling bitterly “ but it’s ok if you don’t want to talk about it, I understand “ once he finished his sentence, sensing the atmosphere was getting too heavy, he smiled brightly and drank the liquor in his glass one shot.

Sungmin didn’t reply, as expected he kept looking at his glass, drinking as if he didn’t hear a thing.

~

Tension between them disappear after a while however, because , while he wasn’t able to drink too much, Sungmin was drunk pretty soon and finally acted a bit as his old self.

“yah Hyukjae...give me another drink” he said when he tried to take the glass from his hands.

“You are drinking too much, and you still haven’t told me why are you feeling down” he didn’t think his friend was going to answer but he tried anyway. Sungmin pouted, placing both hands on the table, and stopped asking for his glass.

“It’s just Kyu told me bad things...can you believe it? I was being nice with him and he basically reminded me I’m a ” he muttered looking all concerned and sad, pouting once more.

He looked like his old self, he was his cute Sungmin, it was just for a night, but that was ok anyway, because he really needed to see if his friend was still there somewhere. Maybe buried deeply, but if he was there he was going to try harder to take him out.

“Kyu? Like Cho Kyuhyun the nerd? I thought you were over after the bet...” he was curious, why was he going after a guy like that.

“we are...oh well for him...but not for me, Hyukjae I think  I really, really like him...he is so cute I just want to squeeeeze his cheeks” Sungmin said that reaching out his hands and making a grabbing pose in the air, as if he wanted to squeeze those cheeks right there. Hyukjae couldn’t held back a smile, his friend liked that guy, and probably didn’t even realize it. Ah the voice of alcohol, the voice of truth.

“ I didn’t know you liked that style...but it looks like this isn’t the only thing bothering you lately...Min you are different...” he was concerned for his friend, especially because when he said that the other looked down, becoming serious and sad immediately.

He sighed before answering “I have some problems...at home...but I don’t want to tell you now that I’m drunk Hyuk” he cleared his face with his hands before standing up suddenly, almost making the chair behind him fall on the floor “ Let’s go back” he said.

So there was something indeed, but now it wasn’t the right time to ask further. They went over the counter and paid for their drinks just before stepping out in fresh air. It was dark already, but it felt nice, because there wasn’t much people around and they could simply walk close to each other.

~

Soon Sungmin wasn’t able to walk by himself so once they reached the school he was already dragging him, an arm around his waist to help him walk. He seemed skinnier than before, Min what are you doing lately with your body? Please give it a break.

They were walking towards Sungmin’s room when they spot someone walking in their direction, three guys were chatting in front of them, he didn’t recognize them immediately, but Sungmin did, in fact, he started to walk faster and once they were close enough he almost flew over them, linking his arms around Kyuhyun’s neck and chanting a not so manly “Kyu ∼”.

“did you have fun? WE did! “ Sungmin said loudly, he was happy, but not a normal way of being happy, just an alcohol-is-speaking way of being happy. He didn’t look happy at all, and it was clear for everyone there.

Kyuhyun tried to push him away but it was impossible, Sungmin was really strong even Hyukjae tried to take him off of there but Sungmin shook his head and pushed away his only friend with his elbow, sending him sitting on the floor. “ouh” Hyukjae muttered caressing his poor . Yesung and Ryeowook didn’t know what to do, they were there watching the scene.

“Don’t bother me I want to greet Kyu properly” Sungmin was looking like a baby, he was smiling and once he got on his toes he kissed Kyuhyun, all the jaws around them dropped, even Yesung wasn’t able to keep is usual indifference. Hyukjae was quite surprised, because it looked like his friend liked that guy so much, while Kyuhyun was almost ignoring him.

Sungmin giggled once he freed the younger lips and his neck, his eyes were strange, he was smiling but he looked like he was about to cry;  finally he let Hyukjae grab him again, he put an arm around his waist while Sungmin rested his on his shoulder ; in that moment his head dropped, he was in a semi conscious state, but he was clearly sleeping. He checked his state before looking at the guys in front of him “he is already sleeping, I’m sorry for what just happened. Today he wasn’t feeling good, he asked me to go out drink without telling me why...but I didn’t thought he was gonna end up like this” he took a deep breath “I’m not able to handle him well” he looked at his feet  not able to face the three of them. It was strange because they probably knew they weren’t’ that close, yet he was the only one that could take him to his room, and he was responsible of what was happening, somehow.

Yesung remained quiet, Ryeowook shrugged as to say he didn’t mind that much, and only Kyuhyun spoke “it’s ok, is not your fault, is not like he did something different than usual anyway “ he felt a bit relieved hearing that; he decided that after all maybe Kyuhyun wasn’t that bad, and that probably he cared a bit about his hyung, because another person would probably had shoved him on the floor instead .

Hyukjae smiled widely, showing all his gummies, he was a bit tipsy himself so he didn’t care much of looking weird to strangers  “You are so kind, good night guys, good night.. Kyu “ he said before starting to walk away. He felt a shiver the moment he used that nickname, it was like teasing him instead of his friend, was like playing a team game, and of course he was Team Sungmin.

Luckily the room was close so he didn’t have to drag that almost dead body too far; he found the key in his pants and opened the door. His room was clean as always, Sungmin was such a neat person, even if in the outside he looked like he didn’t care, he was clean and accurate in everything he did. Or at least that was what he used to be.

He helped him take off his clothes and finally he put him under the blankets. He looked like a baby, he caressed his forehead and after  lifting his bangs a bit he kissed it, because he was furrowing  “you’ll get wrinkles is you furrow like this Min” he said softly.

Sungmin stopped doing it and smiled in his sleep “so cute minnie-ah, I miss you so much, please come back to me...I have so many things to tell you...” he sat on the bed near him for a bit, looking at him smiling like an idiot while sleeping.

“I miss you too...I want Kyu...but I wouldn’t change you for him...” Sungmin whispered, still sleeping, his voice wasn’t even clear, but Hyukjae  heard him clearly. He got closer to him and gave him a peck on his parted lips, like he used to do when they were little. Every time Sungmin slept in his house he always kissed him like that to make him have good dreams. It wasn’t anything ual, just pure brotherly love, he wasn’t even attracted by him...he was more for weird guys with  fish like face. He smile to himself, ah...Donghae I almost forgot about him, I have to explain him what happened.

He quickly grabbed all of Sungmin clothes and put them in the dirty laundry basket in the bathroom, once he was back in the room her decided to leave a message.

He took a post-it and wrote “I hope you’ll be able to have Kyu as a friend, he seems like a nice guy. Study hard for the exams. Fighting! :3” he smiled brightly looking at it, hoping his friend would smile too reading it.

There was a chance that was the last time they were going to talk, maybe Sungmin would just forget about it, so he got closer to the bed again, after hiding the post-it inside the first book on the desk, and caressed his soft dark hair “good night, sleep well Min”.

~

He walked fast to his room, and once he opened his door he almost had an heart attack, someone was on his bed.

He switched on the light and saw him, Donghae was sleeping on his bed, in one of his cute pajamas, it was a light blue one  filled with fishes and bubbles, he always wondered where he was able to find those kind of childish things for his size. He was  all curled up maybe because he was cold, sleeping there without blankets. He felt his heart ache a bit, how much was he laying there? Was it for an hour? Poor friend waiting for him, but why?

Donghae suddenly  opened his eyes and sat up on the bed, brushing his eyes with the back of his hand “you are here” he said in a husky voice.

Hyukjae nodded, feeling suddenly his heart race again.

 “where were you Eun?” he asked still not being able to change his sleepy cute expression. He felt somehow uncomfortable, seeing him there, he looked like he waited for him long enough to fall asleep, while he was out drinking.

“I was out with Sungmin...we went drinking” he knew that sounded bad but he couldn’t lie to him.

Donghae smiled softly “ah...I’m happy for you” he didn’t look happy at all, and he finished his sentence looking at his hands that were tracing the shape of a fish on his leg. Donghae didn’t like to be left alone, especially if it wasn’t something important he was doing, but at the same time he knew that him and Sungmin were close friends in the past and that he missed him, so probably he was feeling a bit guilty even to be jealous. Hyukjae sighed, he wanted to sat down near him, so he walked a bit towards his bed, but he stopped suddenly.

“ Sungmin was feeling down Hae, he needed some comfort and he asked me...” he said, he was a bit shy but he knew his best friend could understand his heart easily;  as expected Donghae looked up at him and smiled again, but this time was a different smile, he looked so gentle and understanding that Hyukjae found the strength to walk towards the bed. He sat next to him and laid down facing the ceiling.

“Did you two have fun?” Donghae asked, looking at him in the eyes. He was so pretty, especially from that point of view, he could have just pulled him to his mouth if he was brave enough. Ah, that though made him blush lightly, and gulping soundly he looked again at the ceiling.

“Mmh, is not like we had fun, but it felt nice being able to spend some time with him...you know how much I miss our friendship...” he knew he could be totally sincere with Donghae, but still saying that made him feel guilty again; it was like telling him their friendship wasn’t enough for him “ah, Hae-ah is not like I don’t enjoy spending time with you...you know what I mean, yes?” he said looking at his friend, worry in his eyes.

But Donghae wasn’t worried a bit, he grabbed his hand instead and closed it between both of his own, he smiled brightly at him and shook his hand a bit “ I know Eun, I’m your best  friend no? You did the right thing, he somehow knows that he still needs you, and you were nice to go with him”. Hyukjae felt all warm inside, he knew how much Donghae was jealous of him and still he was smiling so happily and encouraging him to have other friends, he was so cute trying to be mature and giving support. Ah Donghahe-ah I love you. Yes, as a friend of course...” so he is having an hard time?” he asked.

“yes, he told me he has some family problems, but nothing much else, because he was too drunk to explain himself” Hyukjae answered, still refusing to notice they were holding hands in such a heartwarming way.

“oh” Donghae squeezed his hand in surprise “ I’m sorry to hear that...I thought it was something about school” he looked a bit sad, he was such a great guy with such a big heart, he didn’t like people to suffer, he couldn’t help it, he was just that kind. People used to say he was naive, while Hyukjae knew perfectly that he wasn’t, he looked weird and always too cheerful, like he was somehow silly, but his actions were all rational, he was just rationally kind, he knew that being a good person was one of his purposes in life, and it was in his nature “is not like people uses me because I’m too stupid to realize it, is more like I let people believe they are using me, so that I can be helpful someway” he had told this once they were talking about the fact that everybody said he was too kind “I’m not too kind, there is no such a thing like being too kind”. Hyukjae smiled reminding his words “you are always the same Hae” he said.

“Uh? What do you mean?” he was looking at him with big round eyes, waiting for an answer.

“I mean you are so concerned even if is not your problem, maybe is true you are just naive” teasing him was always so much fun. Donghae frowned and punched him lightly in his perfectly sculptured abs, he was blushing and whining. So cute.

“I’m not naive, I’m just worried because he is your friend after all!” he kept punching him a bit or simply poking him, knowing how much his friend was ticklish. In fact, Hyukjae started to move like an eel just to try to avoid those light touches, giggling and making weird noises.

“Ok, ok stop it now please!” he begged the other, trying to catch his hand with the only free one he had, but Donghae was so fast it was impossible to stop laughing. Finally his friend decided to let him breath a bit and stopped to play.

~