Throughout my life, I suppose I was always a little paranoid. From the day I began to walk, I was told to be careful, because the world was so dangerous. Even when I went out to play, I would never venture past any point I didn’t know. I suppose that was just a part of who I was; I was always a careful person, and I never talked back to those who I thought could hurt me. I was a kind kid, to put it simply. The ideal boy, even as I entered high school.

                However, despite being as careful as I was, I was accident prone. I would have a tendency to forget things or trip a lot. My parents never thought much of it, since I never really hurt anyone or myself. Well, at least, that’s what they thought.

                You see, my best friend was always around to help me. Ever since we were little, she and I were inseparable. The weird thing was, no one could see her. Now I know what you’re thinking: “Jinki, that’s obviously an imaginary friend, you lonely bastard.” But she wasn’t imaginary; I didn’t decide what she did. She had a mind of her own, and she did what she wanted. She could get mad at me, cry, and do things that an independent person can do. And why? Because she was an independent person, and she was absolutely mine.

                When I went to sleep every night, I would always go on an adventure with her. The place she lived in was a lot different from Korea, and everyone spoke English (which is why I caught onto the language so quickly when I learned it in high school). She would always translate for me if I needed it, and it was like I would join her in her world whenever I was asleep in mine. I always wanted to ask her if the same happened to her, but I always forgot since we’d be having too much fun.

                I guess the best place to start this story is my senior year of high school. My friend hung around me less and less, obviously too busy with her own exams and other things to hang out. I wasn’t particularly insulted by this, but it did get lonely. I loved hanging around Amy.

                Yah! I got off track, didn’t I? Sorry! I kind of stink at telling stories; my friend’s name is Amy Lee, though she likes being called Ailee. I’ve heard her parents call her ‘Yejin’ before, so I think that might be her Korean name. Either which way, she goes by Ailee. Er…anyway…

                So yeah, high school. Senior year. Lonely. I mainly saw Ailee toward the end of the day, and she would always hate looking at my homework. I found it kind of funny, really. She must’ve been exhausted from school. When I went to sleep, I’d sit with her in class, watching her almost doze off and having to keep her awake. Sometimes I’d let her sleep, since she seemed like she really needed it. As time progressed, I could tell that she was really starting to get stressed. I couldn’t tell by what, though. Even though she passed her exams with flying colors, she still seemed so worried. She wouldn’t talk as much, and she was really caught up in her own thoughts.

                Let’s flash forward a bit. It was a week before my final exams for the semester. Ailee still wasn’t much better, though she was talking a lot more again. I would talk to her, too, when I went to hang out with her. On a Friday, when she was ditching her lunch period and hung out in the girls’ bathroom at her school, I sat next to her and finally asked her what was wrong.

                “Onew…” she said softly. “How do I know you’re real?”

                “What do you mean?” I asked. We’d never questioned it before now.

                “I just mean…you’re so kind and amazing and I just…h-how could someone so wonderful exist? How do I know you’re not someone I fabricated?” she insisted.

                “Well, you can’t say that I’m here to compensate for a lack of friends, because other than me, you have a lot of friends,” I said. “And it can’t be because of a bad home life, because your parents adore you.”

                “Right…”

                “So maybe I am real?” I said. “We jump in and out of each other’s lives on a daily basis, so you’ve seen that where I’m from is a real place.”

                “How do you know I didn’t make it up!?”

                “How do you know so much about Seoul?” I said simply. “How are you making up Korean words you don’t know from such a young age? How can I be telling you all of this, opposing the very opinion you put up?”

                She sighed and nodded, hugging her knees close to herself. “I wish I could meet you in person,” she muttered. “You’re so sweet…no one like you lives around here.”

                “Don’t worry,” I smiled, wrapping my arms around her. “Once I get enough money, I’ll move to America. Maybe I can even go to university here?”

                “Ne,” she nodded, smiling and kissing my cheek, though neither of us could really ‘feel’ it. “And then you and I can move in together and be besties forever!”

                I laughed and nodded in agreement, and the rest of that time was rather nice. I walked home with her after school, and then was rudely pulled away from our nice walk by the blaring sound of my alarm clock.

                 Onew disappeared pretty suddenly when I was walking home, leaving me to think about what we talked about. He had a pretty good point; how could I possibly know so much about a country I’d never gone to? Sure, I knew some Korean from my parents, but almost all of it, I had learned from Onew. And when I used it with my relatives, it was always correct, which means I wasn’t just making it up. How could I? I sighed and walked up the stairs and into my house, immediately going to my room. Mom and Dad weren’t back from work yet, which meant I had time to mess around on the computer.

                You’re probably wondering why I never emailed or Skyped Dubu, huh? It’s pretty simple, actually. His family’s not especially wealthy, so they don’t have a computer at their place. The only one he can use is the one at school, and since he’s such a studious kid, he could never use a school computer for anything but work. He tried before, when I was around, but I talked him out of it. I knew the guilt would eat at him. So in the end, we just resorted to our longtime method of hanging out. We realized more and more about each other and where we both lived as we got older. It didn’t take long for Onew to figure out that I lived in America, and I realized he was from Korea when I drew the language connection when I was a little girl.

                Honestly, it was kind of sad. Onew and I were so close, and I had feelings for him, but we could never express them. All of our embraces and other such things were just between us, and doing them in public would look weird, since only we could see and interact with each other. To the outside world, one of us was missing, and it looked like we were miming a hug. I’d considered asking my parents if we could move to Seoul, but they’d ask why I was suddenly so interested in my roots. And what was I to say? “Oh, I have this friend in my head that I wanna find.” Not exactly helpful, is it? They’d just think I’m crazy.

                I curled up in bed and hugged my pillow close. I wanted to fall asleep so bad. It seemed that I was becoming more and more of a narcoleptic as time passed. I didn’t like people at school as much as I let on. Onew was the only guy for me…

                I closed my eyes, and when I opened them, I was in Onew’s bed. He wasn’t there, so I got up to look for him. He wasn’t in the living room or the kitchen, so I just waited on his bed. I laid down and looked at his walls, which were littered with posters and sheets of white paper that he wrote his favorite quotes on. He and I had both gotten into the habit of doing this. It was nice to wake up in the morning and read such nice words.

                Onew walked out of his bathroom, a towel around his waist. My face went bright red as I silently watched him grab his clothes for the day. It wasn’t his school uniform…Oh! I forgot that Korea was ahead of us. It was Saturday, wasn’t it? He let the towel drop to the floor, and I held my breath as I watched him change. Holy crap, he really was perfect in every way. He turned and noticed me on the bed, and immediately, I closed my eyes. Maybe he’d just think I took a nap?

                “Ailee~” he said softly. “Wake up!”

                Sweet, it worked!

                I opened my eyes slowly and smiled up at him. “Hey there,” I muttered, wrapping my arms around his neck. He grinned and flipped us over so I was lying on top of him. I blushed and pouted. “What are you doing?”

                “You looked tired,” he shrugged. “So I figured we could just chill ‘til you’re ready to go.”

                “Pfft, chill,” I chuckled.

                “What?”

                “Nothing,” I laughed. “It’s just that your English isn’t as formal as it used to be. You almost talk like a normal American teenager!”

                “That’s a good thing, right?” he smiled. “Anyway, lemme know when you’re ready. I have a surprise for you.”