Dear God I did something bad today. I never wanted to hurt him. I never wanted this. Please help me.

A car pulls up in the middle of a field.

Someone was running away from it.

“Leeteuk! Leeteuk!” I shouted.

There was no answer but I heard someone whimper.

I saw Leeteuk crawling away from me. He was half . I tried to run after him and I did. I took hold his legs to stop him. He looked at me with tears. He was badly hurt. I tried to wipe the blood off his forehead. “oh ” I whispered.

“Y-you” He was shivering. “They’re gone.” I tried to explain.

“But you” he said. “NO! I left even before they started”

“You hurted me” he shouted. “I came back to help you” I calmed him down.

He didn’t answer for awhile. Then he suddenly ate the dirt off the ground. He was crazy. “I’d rather die than accept help from you” he whispered.

I reached out my hand “Kangin. I’m in your Chinese class.” He still didn’t answer. “It’s a ing language.” He just looked at me. “Look we have to get you out of here. They might come back and..” I stopped and searched for his pants. “Where are y-“ then I realized that those guys took it, so I took off my pants and gave it to him. He looked he needed it more than me.

“here take them” I offered it to him but he didn’t want to “PLEASE!” I threw it at him

 “tha-thank you” he said. “Don’t you thank me! I don’t want to accept it” I brushed it off.

“you” he tried t say something “no I wasn’t! Listen! I left before anything happened.”

“you held me do-“

“don’t say that!” I screamed

“Why didn’t you” he didn’t finish his sentence. We both stayed quiet.

I took off my jacket and gave it to him. He was shivering. It was winter and it was pass midnight. I knelt and placed the jacket on his shoulders

“Why did you get in their car?” I asked “I needed a ride” he answered “you shouldve walked” I answered back. We both stayed silent. “I was in a hurry” he answered back “then buy a bike” I reasoned out

“they called me FagRat” I stood up and said didn’t answer back. “you held me down” he remembered “I’m sorry!” I shouted “Why didn’t you” he stopped.. “stopped them” we both whispered.

“I wish”…. “I want”.. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to tell him to stop him from hating me. “I was in the same boyscout as you” I told him. He looked he didn’t believe me.

“Everything is gonna be alright” I told him. He was furious. “You held me down!” he shouted. “They’re not bad guys!” I tried to reason out. “They shove a stick..” he refuted. “SHUT UP!” I know it was wrong. He didn’t have to remind me. “They are not good guys. You aren’t a good guy” he whispered and cried. “I know” I answered back.

“Come on! I’m gonna take you home now.” I tried to offer. “I cant!” he refused. “Everyone will know.” He continued. “you might need to go to a hospital.” I told him. “Oh thanks for your concern.” He refused my hand. “Leeteuk… I know this is… I mean youre not really what they say right? I mean your not really gay right?” he stayed silent to my question and thought about it. Soon he just nodded.

“! I mean you don’t really know right?” I asked him. “I know.” I was getting pissed. “How do you know?” I asked him again. “I just know.. like.. when you know you’re hungry?” hungry? He is so dumb! Hungry? “what? Are you always gay? Sometimes?”

“that’s a stupid question” he answered back. “no ! Are you always hungry? Are you hungry now?” he didn’t answer back after that. “here’s a gum.” I offered but he still didn’t get one. “we were in the boyscouts together. I scout is?” I saluted and smiled. “trustworthy” he answered back.. yeah trustworthy.

“Anyway.. I don’t believe you” I looked at him. “ you” he answered back and walked away from me. “Being gay isn’t a productive thing. Why not be somebody else? There must be something else. Join a team or join a chorus. Can you sing? Or the yearbook staff. You’re smart. Join other groups.” He stopped walking and looked back. “Kangin. Thanks for the advice. You might want to be a psychologist or something. And anyone who is ed up or have some problems, you can tell them what to do. Being gay isn’t an extracurricular activity.”

“I didn’t have to come back here! I shouldve been in my bed. Im the president of the student council and the team captain for the football team.” He just walked away. Limping. “Jesus.. I ran after him and fixed the jacket to get him warm.

“I wanted to invite you to my house. Eat pizza and play video games. I could’ve hypnotized you” he said. I just looked at him. He began to walk again.