HE’s almost got hit by a car while running across the busied road, searching for an available taxi. Telling the name and address to the taxi driver in hasty, because his mind and his heart keeps on praying that nothing would happened to Eunjae, his beloved son. His one and only son. The phone called he received just now had take his soul away right after the news was delivered to him. His face’s color drains out and stayed colorless till now. Arrived, he paid the fare and immediately running inside.

“Are you okay, sir?” he heard someone asked him when he’s stand back after he stumbled down to earth. The question was ignored without any answer given. His legs are still wobbled while running but that does not stop him.

“Lee… Lee EunJae?” He asked the woman at the front desk. The woman looked at him with a faint smile before looked down back to search for the said name.

“I’m sorry, Sir. The patient is still in emergency room. The room is in the second floor.” She replied almost in an instant.

He immediately went to the elevator, up to the second floor. The smell of the hospital makes him shiver. He had always loathed hospitals, ever since they took his wife away two years ago. And now his son once again struggled for his life at the same exact place, he hated hospitals even more then he can imagined. The thought of he might be losing his precious son, sped him along.

He stopped when he saw a familiar face in front the emergency room. Eunjae is still fighting to survive in that room, that’s the fact for now. His legs can’t accommodate the burden his heart felt, he immediately collapsed to the floor.

“Eunhyuk!!” A pair of hand instantly supports him before his body made the contact with the floor.

“What’s happened? What’s happened?” He asked hysterically.

“Shh… It’s okay. Everything gonna be fine. Eunjae will be okay.” Sungmin, his best friend and also his son’s homeroom teacher, tried to calm him down, even he himself already broken also. This is the second time he saw Eunhyuk became this broken. He always wished that he would not see him like this again after the first time, but fate was so cruel to his best friend. It happened again, at the same place, almost same time, just for a different person.

“Eunjae…” His whimpers muffled between the tight hugs.

After a long waiting, the door finally opened from inside and few doctors and nurses came out. Eunhyuk and Sungmin immediately up and went to the doctor in charge. “How’s my son?”

“He had several fractured ribs and lost lots of blood, but thankfully he was brought here on time. We managed to save him.” The young doctor gives him an encouraged smile, imaginarily telling him to not lose the confidence towards the hospital. Everything that happened before is just fate, not anyone’s fault.

How coincident, he is the same doctor that treats his wife before. Eunhyuk somehow remember him because of too much of sadness for losing his beloved wife, he had relieved his anger towards the doctor. That was 2 years ago. Maybe it was not that young doctor’s fault that his wife died. If she was brought here on time, she won’t leave him and their son alone in this cruel world. “He will be waking up as soon as the effects of the medicine have lost. You can visit him after we change him to the normal ward room. Don’t worry, he’s a strong boy. He will be okay.” The doctor patted his shoulder lightly before walked away, leaving him and Sungmin again while waiting for some nurses to change his son’s room.

“Thank you, doctor.” He said slowly. He can breathe peacefully again, relief with the news he heard. His son had passed the critical state.

“Eunhyuk!!” He instantly turned towards the new voice that just arrived. The familiar man was running towards him and engulfed him in a tight embraced once they meet. His tears fall again as soon as he embeds his face against the other’s man chest. “I’m sorry, I came late.”

“Donghae… Eunjae…” That’s all the words his mouth can form.

“Shh… Eunjae will be fine…. I am here already, don’t cry.” That voice was very comforting, as Eunhyuk slowly calmed down again. He gains his strength back. The presence of his another significant love makes him stronger to face everything. He’s so grateful that he find another love after lose one before. Even though it’s one forbidden love.

THE slow knock at the door startling him from his daydream, Eunhyuk immediately looked up at the door and saw two police officers in their uniform walked towards him slowly. His hand never let go of his son’s hand. Eunjae had been hospitalized for two days now. He already wake up for few times, but just for few second before he go to sleep again. He’s too tired to even utter a word. But Eunhyuk still relives that he already waked up.

“Lee Eunhyuk-ssi.” one of the officers greets him.

“How is it? Did you find the culprit?” Eunhyuk immediately asked, already know the purpose of their presence. The two officers that handle his son bullying case, the reason of his son injury. But till now they still don’t know what causes the bullying to occur since something like that never happened before.

“We are still in search. The witness’s details are somewhat obscure, makes it harder for us.” The taller among those two officers said.

“Sir, can I meet with the witness?” Eunhyuk suddenly asked.

“You can’t, the witness is under protection until the case solved because it can bring harm to witness if he’s having too much exposed and something like this might happened again. We need to avoid that.” The other man said.

“My son was the victim here; I have the right to do anything to bring justice for my son. He almost died because of them; I can’t just wait without doing anything. I want them to be punished as soon as possible. They should be.” Eunhyuk’s voice higher than usual.

“But Sir, it’s…” The same officer tried to say something again before the taller one stop him.

“I guess maybe its okay for him. The witness is his son’s best friend; maybe it can help us to get more info.” His friend said then.

“If you said so..”

“Thank you.”



“WHAT they said?” Donghae greeted as he entered the hospital room, went to Eunhyuk’s side. He just encountered with the two officers who was handling Eunhyuk’s case while taking the elevator. At first he wants to greet them but seeing how busied they are, so he just decided to ask Eunhyuk instead.

“Not much progression. Seunggi still didn’t speak much about the incidents.” His lips formed a thin smiled as Donghae enveloped him in a hug.

“Did you eat already?” Donghae asked, notice how much thinner Eunhyuk’s body. It just two days, but the difference is quite obvious.

“I have.” He replied shortly. “I’ll be talking with Seunggi tomorrow.” Eunhyuk then informed him detailed that the officer had told him.

“Is that okay?”

“It’s fine. I want this case to settle as soon as possible. For that I will do anything.”

“Want me to come?”

“It’s better for me to go alone.”

“I’ll wait with Eunjae then.”

HIS head hurt. His heart's broken. His dream crushed. Happiness will never be his till forever. That’s the fact he realizes now. He was the cause of what happened to his son. The second thing that awakened him. Accepting that, that love has caused him to almost lose Eunjae. How can the fate be too cruel for them?

He already knows that the love is forbidden, but he can’t believe why he still let the love invaded his heart at the first place. And now his son that received the consequences for his mistakes. But the consequence was too hard for him to handle. That 7 years old boy was too innocent and too young to receive the punishment for his mistake.

“Because of you, Eunjae hurt. I almost lose Eunjae because of you.” He said, voice breaking and a bit harsher than he had intended. “If you didn’t come in our life, all of this won’t happen. Eunjae won’t be beaten and bullied.”

“Eunhyuk…” Donghae pleaded softly. His heart broke knowing that he had hurt his loved ones. He had hurt both Eunhyuk and Eunjae. Although he already knows that society would never accept the fact that a man loves another man but he still tried to get that love. He always tried to convince him and the world to accept their love and in the end they would live happily forever. But he was wrong, society have proved him wrong. This forbidden love should never exist.

“Eunjae got bullied everyday because of you, because of me. I should have notices.” Eunhyuk struggled hard even before Donghae managed to hold him.

“Eunhyuk… please, calm down.” He knows it’s hurt him so much. But he already fall deep, he can’t be saved anymore. His world only revolved around Eunhyuk and Eunjae only. He can’t bear to lose them.

“Shut up! Leave us alone! Don’t come into our life again!” his final decision had been said. “I don’t wanna see you anymore.” He doesn’t wanna lose his son. “Get the hell out of my life!” Although Donghae is his world but Eunjae is his life. He cannot live with both of them but the decision has been made and he won’t change them.

Donghae’s world crushed into million pieces. His soul had been taken from him and he can’t do anything to fight back.

“MY baby…. I’m sorry I came home late. The appointment is longer than I thought.” Eunhyuk chuckled when he saw his son’s long pout. He knows that he was sulking right now, his brother-in-law had told him. “Ah… it’s too long that I can reach for it from here.” He then proceeds to entered inside the room after stopped at the hallway for a while.

“I told you not to call me that. I’m not a baby anymore.” He flinched immediately when Eunhyuk tried to pull his pouty lips.

“Sorry… sorry… I’m not calling you baby anymore.” He surrenders to his sulky son. After getting the treatment for almost three weeks in the hospital, he finally dispatched. He could go back home healthily again. Only few small bruise left. They live their life like before, but maybe not exactly like before. “Did you have fun playing with ajeossi today?”

“Not at all, ajeossi beat my high score again.” He said with pouty lips again. “I just won it once but he beat it already. And he tried to make me eat his burned food. His skill is so awful. Unlike eomma’s skill.”

“Really?” He giggles with his son’s eloquently nags. “Then lets us together beat him again tomorrow.”

“Really?” Eunjae asked excitedly.

“Yeah… let’s enjoyed the weekend.” His son shouts cheerfully. “But for now, you need to get up and bathe first. You’re so smelly because of playing all day long.” Eunhyuk hoist him up to stand on the couch.

“Can I bathe in tub that full of foam?” Eunjae asked while Eunhyuk removing his shirt from his small body.

“Yeah… yeah… you can. Let’s go.” While holding Eunhyuk’s hand tight, Eunjae jumps from the couch to the floor and walked towards the bathroom together.



“APPA, when ajeossi want to visit us again? I miss Donghae-ajeossi so much.” Eunjae asked when Eunhyuk’s tugging him to sleep. Eunhyuk’s heart fluttered.

“It’s late already. Just go to sleep.” He said shortly.

“Where’s ajeossi? Why he didn’t come here anymore?” in that dim light, Eunjae always missed to notice how Eunhyuk’s face change every time he mentioned that name.

“Eunjae, go to sleep now.” Eunhyuk tried hard not to raise his voice higher. His son is too young to understand what happened. The incidents that happened to him before… he maybe didn’t understand the reason behind why they happened and he should never know, Eunhyuk thought.

“Why you always avoided talking about ajeossi? Where’s ajeossi? I miss ajeossi!” He said again. Before, his appa have always succeed to avoid talking about his ajeossi, but he won’t let it go easily tonight. He misses him so much. Donghae that always lulled him to sleep every night and he misses him for that.

“Why you keep on talking about him? He got nothing to do with us anymore. Forget about him already.” Eunhyuk finally burst out. He cannot hold his heart content anymore. “Don’t you realize what he had done to our lives? He has hurt you. I won’t let he hurt you more.” His voice crack.

“Appa….”

“Stop it, Eunjae. Just go to sleep.” Eunhyuk immediately cuts his words. He then walked out from the room after gives a light kiss on his son’s cheek.

“WHAT was that heavy sigh for?” Sungmin patted his back before taking the vacant seat at his right. Another heavy sighed escaped from his mouth.

“Eunjae still refused to talk to me. I don’t know what should I do?” Eunhyuk watched his son playing the swings happily with Ryeowook, Sungmin’s brother. The smaller man managed persuades his rebel son to play at the play ground together. Finally he saw his son bright smile once again since what happened that night.

“Have you talked with him?’

“I did. But he’s so stubborn. He keeps on asking about Donghae.”

“He just misses him so much.”

“I know that...”

“He’s just a child, Hyuk… he just need love…”

“I’m his father. My love is enough for him.”

“Yeah…. You had provided him love, yes… but child’s heart is different. He’s more sensitive. He’s more possessive than adult. He had love Donghae so much and suddenly you take the love away from him, he must felt really insecure.”

“I just afraid, hyung…. I don’t want it to happen again…. I commit the sin, but Eunjae received the consequences. It’s not fair for him. I won’t forgive myself if something like that happened again.”

“Falling in love is not a sin, Eunhyuk…”

“The love for my wife is not a sin but the love between me and Donghae is a sin. That’s the law. To live with the society, I need to follow the law.”

“Don’t you notice that the society was little bit open minded now, since your case. Why don’t you try to give Donghae and yourself a second chance?”

“It’s too risky…. I won’t take any risk anymore. Once is enough.”

“Then, what about Eunjae? Have you even thought about his feeling?”

“Always… Don’t worry…. He will be okay, soon. Time can make him forget. Different environment will help him to forget his child’s memories.”

“What you mean? Don’t tell me…”

“I’m going to live with Heechul-hyung. Maybe this weekend.”

“You wanna leave all your friends and family here.”

“Hyung, it’s not like I’m going to mars or whatever. I still on earth, you know. After 9 hours of flight, we still can meet each other. I will visit here when I’ve time. My wife’s memories is still here, I want that memories to always be with us, with Eunjae.” Eunhyuk smiled thinly.

“If it’s the best for both of you, I will always give my support.”

“Thank you, hyung. You’re always the best hyung.”

“Can I ask you one more thing?”

“Aigoo… since when you start to be this polite?” Eunhyuk giggles.

“Won’t you let Eunjae to meet Donghae for the last time before you leave?” His question made him stop from giggled automatically. Its take him few seconds to think a reply.

“Ajeossi… what you mean? Donghae-ajeossi? What with him? Leave? Who’s leaving?” The sudden questions from his son disruptive him. He was standing on Eunhyuk’s left together with Ryeowook. Both Sungmin and Eunhyuk didn’t notice their presence.

“You still didn’t tell him about your planning?” Eunhyuk shook his head. Sungmin sighed then turned to the boy who’s waiting for his answer.

“Don’t you know that you’re going to visit your Heechul-ajeossi…?” The boy shook.

“Then, what about Donghae-ajeossi? Did ajeossi will come along? Appa, did he?” Eunjae excited again at the mentioned of that named.

“That…”

“Why you keep on calling him? I told you to forget him! Don’t you understand me! Why you’re being so stubborn?” Eunhyuk snarled that cutting Sungmin’s remarks startled the other three of them. “Don’t you understand, he has hurt you! His presence has hurt you. Because of him, I almost lose you. Why can’t you understand thing as simple as that!” Eunhyuk breathless, too much of emotion for him to handle.

“Eunhyukie!”

“Eunhyuk-hyung!”

He’s taken aback, that calling voices pulled him back from his world of emotions. In front, he saw Eunjae’s face showed thousand emotions.

“Miwo….” Eunjae whispered but still can be heard clearly. He wants to run right away, but Ryeowook who was holding his hand quickly prevent him to do so, instead he hoist Eunjae up and hold him in his embrace. Eunjae circled his hands around Ryeowook’s neck and soft sobs were heard. The regret was evident on Eunhyuk features.



“APPA… mianhae…” Eunjae’s soft voice muffled into Eunhyuk’s shirt. The hands around his neck tighten, Eunhyuk smiled. Finally Eunjae talked to him again. They are now walking home from the playground with Eunhyuk piggybacking his son. “I should not said that to you. It’s bad, I know. Ajeossi always told that to me. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I know, my boy didn’t mean it.”

“Appa…” He called, still doesn’t lift up his face from Eunhyuk’s shoulder.

“Hmm…?”

“I don’t wanna be your boy, I just wanna be your baby.”

“Didn't you detest me for calling you that?” Eunhyuk grinned.

“Yes…”

“Then….”

“Baby is better then boy.”

Quite long silent arisen, and both have a wide smiled plastered on their face.

“I’m sorry too.” Eunhyuk’s breaking the silence. “I should not yelling at you.”

“Appa… can I say a secret?”

“What is it?”

“Promise me you will not be angry?”

“I promise.”

“Donghae-ajeossi…” Eunhyuk flustered, “always reminded to me to care of you whenever he’s not around. He said that he won’t play with me anymore if I make you sad and cry. He won’t buy me an ice-cream anymore if yell to you.” Tears start to form at the corners of Eunhyuk’s eyes. “But I’ve make you cried and just yelled at you. I’m sorry…. Don’t tell ajeossi about it. I won’t do it again. I don’t want ajeossi to be mad at me. I’m sorry, I promise I won’t do it again.”

“Don’t worry, baby. I’m not going to tell ajeossi.”

“Promise?”

“Promise!”

“Appa??”

“Hmm?”

“Can I tell you another secret?”

“Yeah….”

“I know I should always be kind to people…. Ajeossi told me so…. But I hate those hyungs…. They said bad things about appa and ajeossi…. They said that we should not exist in this world because everyone here execrates us.” Eunhyuk’s tears already flowing down on his cheeks long ago.

“I told them that I don’t care about it as long as I’m always together with appa and ajeossi. I love being with appa and ajeossi. And then they beat me. Am I guilty because I hate them and not being nice to them? I want to ask ajeossi because I’m afraid that you would be mad at me. But now I cannot ask ajeossi, so I ask you. Are you mad because I’m a bad boy?”

“No, baby.” Eunhyuk switch their position by pulling him to his front. Eunjae had securely being in his tight embrace. “You’re not guilty. It’s them. They’re guilty, not you. You’re good boy. So, don’t worry. I’m sure, Ajeossi will be proud of you if he knows.”

“Really?” Eunjae looked at him with a bright smiled then became gloomy again. “Appa, why are you crying? Did I make you sad again? I’m sorry… don’t cry….” He said while wiping Eunhyuk’s tears.

“No, baby… I’m not crying…. I’m just happy that I have a great son.”

“Really?”

“Yeah…. I’m so happy that my baby has grown up well.”

“Thank you, appa!” Eunjae once again circled his hands around his neck and then he starts walking again towards their home.

“Appa?”

“Hmm…”

“If I promise to forget Donghae-ajeossi, can I meet him for the last time before we go to Heechul-ajeossi house…. I just want to apologize to ajeossi and tell him that I will always take care of you. Can I?”

 

“Eunhyukie??” the voice from the other side of the line immediately attack him once he picked up the phone.

“Yea, hyung…. What is it?” He said in dazed. He almost falls asleep when he received the call. This morning, he just escaped from Heechul’s wrath for cancelling his plan to emigrate there. He knows that the other was quite sad because of the sudden decision, that’s why it’s take time to persuade him to calm down. He still got something important to do here, till he gets what he wants he will work hard. It’s time for him to fight for his happiness now.

“I found him. I found Donghae.” The news he received wakes him up instantly.

“Really? Where… where is he?” he felt that the burden had been lifted up from his shoulder immediately. Happy, relief, excited, loved…. All that feeling that he won’t ever trade with anything, awakened in him.”

“He had just returned to his home recently. But…”

“But?!?”

“He will go again. This time I don’t know whether he will come back again or not. Eunhyuk… Eunhyuk….” The line disconnected, the phone already scattered on the floor into few pieces.



A LOUD knock disrupts his peaceful that night. There is nothing more to be packed, his apartment already half empty. Some of his belongings have been sold by his hyung. Only few things that he claimed as important remained. Another loud knock coming. Donghae opens the door a second later, as he had been only a few feet away from the door. His jaw immediately dropped. It is Eunhyuk, out of breath, hair disheveled. There a mixed emotion of eagerness and longing and love in his eyes.

“Can I come in?” It’s Eunhyuk who’s breaking the silence. Donghae snaps out of his daze. He nods, gives a room for Eunhyuk to enter. The half-empty chamber confirms Sungmin’s words. Donghae is going. Those thought only is enough to break his heart.

“What… what are you doing here, Hy… Eunhyuk-ssi?” the door closed.

“Are we mere strangers now?” Eunhyuk whispered bitterly.

“It’s better that way.” Donghae said coldly, it’s hard to utter that words but he has to.

“Is there still any room left for me to beg for your forgiveness?” There was an extended silence between them. Donghae just stands there, numb. In that silence, tears begin to falls. “Maybe there’s no more…” Eunhyuk whispered softly, began to make his way to the door.

“That’s not the way to persuade a broken heart!” Donghae’s voice resonates, Eunhyuk froze in front the door. It somehow gives some hope to Eunhyuk.

“I don’t know the method I should use for an adult man. This is the first time.” Eunhyuk looks down, somewhat embarrassed.

“This is my first too…. Why don’t you try like what you did to Eunjae.”

“Eunjae?”

“Yea, Eunjae… or do you have other son that I don’t know.”

“No, I don’t!” He immediately responds, shaking his head.

“Then, why don’t you try.”

“Err…” He hesitant, nonetheless moving closer to the other man, lift up his hand and caress Donghae’s cheek. The trembles is so obvious that Donghae can feel it. “Do… do y-you wanna e-eat ice-cream?” he said, hand still caress his cheek.

“Ah, ah… not working.” Donghae rest his hand on the left side of his chest. “Still broken.”
Eunhyuk bit his lower lip, then moved even closer, lessened the gap between them. Immediately his hands encircled Donghae’s neck, fingers entangled with strands of the other’s dark hair. He’s clinging onto him desperately.

“Almost there… worked harder….” Donghae huskily whispered while wrapping his hand around Eunhyuk’s body.

“I’m… I am sorry…” Eunhyuk managed to apologize, tears flow in deep sadness. He knows he have been forgiven the moment Donghae tighten the hugs and pulled him even closer until there’s no gap left in between. “Don’t leave… don’t make me cry… come back to me.” Those honest words made Donghae unconsciously smile. “I don’t wanna lose you anymore. Until now it’s only been once in my life that someone has cherished me like crazy…. That someone is you. Thinking of losing you once again, it’s so hurtful.” Eunhyuk managed to whispered words by words clearly.

“I have engraved your name in my heart like a tattoo… I can’t cut the tie of our love… I can’t let you go even if you don’t needs me… Our love is forever … I really mean what I said…. I’m always waiting for you.” Donghae continued.

“For never let go of me… thank you!” Eunhyuk leaned forward, kiss him on the left cheek. “For always believe in our love… thank you!” Another kiss on the right cheek. “For never give up on me… thank you!” once again on the left cheek. “For loving Eunjae… thank you!” again on the right cheek. “For loving me day by day… thank you!” Their breath entangled together, eyes meet in intense gaze. “I love you!” Eunhyuk leaned forward, captured those thin lips of Donghae. Their tongues moved rhythmically, in slow, but intense movements.

They both know that their love has caused some problem. Their love has got rejection and hatred. But they don’t care, as long as they have each other. Eunhyuk just needs Donghae, Donghae only needs Eunhyuk and Eunjae needs both of them.

What happened before was worth everything because the pain they went through was merely temporary but the happiness is forever.

And their forbidden love will continue to bloom.




END

a/n: I would love to read your comments